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Post-Match Moyes

What Moyes probably said after the Newcastle match:

"Tim, good game apart from their goal. Were you having nap? Otherwise good handling, punching and distribution."

"Tony, thought you got caught out of position a few times son. Looks like you`ll get a few games now. No other option. A couple of good crosses though. Pity Duncan Ferguson wasn't playing!"

"Phil, solid today son. Great goal. Kept it down well. Should really score more though. Some good balls forward."

"Sylvain, Good game son, but please don't dribble when you are last man."

"Leighton, what would we do without you, son? I know you are missing Peanut and not getting to the line so often, but keep taking free-kicks like that and we will be in Europe next year."

"Phil, pity about the injury, son; thought you were doing well in the holding role. Gave that twat Nolan a bit too much room at times though."

"Ossie, brilliant thinking for that goal son. Most of us would have hit that first time. Amazing you thought about putting that through the defenders legs. Thought you could have had a couple more though.... again!!"

"Jack, passing is getting better but remember you are allowed to pass forward too. Not just back and sidewards... and shooting practice for you next training!!"

"Mikel, that's more like it, son; looked like something was going to happen every time you got the ball. Christ, you even let Pip take a free kick. More of the same!"

"Louis, not happy with you son. For a player with your ability, I think we are getting too little in return. Should have had at least three today. Sloppy finishing. All I can say is 'must do better'. How are the legs by the way?"

"Becks, Not bad son, some sloppy passing, but at least we saw you run at defenders today. About bleeding time. A couple of good efforts, unlucky not to get on the sheet."

"Johnny, disappointing son. For a player who has played in the World Cup Final, you make some strange passes. Looks like you will get some games now, so time to grow up."

"Victor, not bad. A couple of nice things today! You are obviously lacking confidence, but if I use you then try using the inside of your head too. Should have downed that prick Nolan, would nearly have been worth a red card. Oh, and don't go reading ToffeeWeb again."

"Seamus, Ok, still looking a bit tired. Thought you could have done better with Victor's cross though."

"All-in-all, a lucky three points, lads, we made hard work of it and should have sown it up earlier. Right, have a day off tomorrow, lads, Birmingham on Wednesday. Meet at Goodison at 5pm. Not you Becks, you are staying at mine Tuesday night, and Louis, take a bus!!! COYB."

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