The Mail Bag

Rooney returns the weekend

I wondered what kind of reception TW match goers were reserving for Wayne Rooney on Saturday? Not what they think the overall atmosphere will be, just their personal intent. You know, outright abusive slagging off; occasional mild unpleasantries; or a Corinthian ambivalence.

I also wondered what we thought were the chances of his returning to Everton... or even if we'd want him.

For the record, I still love seeing Rooney score. Something inside me still says he is an Evertonian, just as something still tells me he will return one day to prove it.

I even harboured a notion that our performance this season in the league would lend further credence to that fanciful notion.

I don't give a toss what a recalcitrant & ill advised 18-year-old did. I care more what a world class 26-year-old could do. And given what we've just done for Mikel Arteta, the financial gap is much less than it was.

Rooney is England's talisman. He's a Scouser and he's an Evertonian. The best thing Evertonians can do this weekend is to welcome Wayne back with warm applause. Rooney opeates better on the edge, so much better that we soften him up at the start.

That's partly born of genuine affection and partly born of enlightened self interest.

As for the game, please fuck that we win. Time for some of the boys to show they're worth the shirt and the money.
Alan Kirwin     Posted 06/09/2010 at 22:44:35   Comments (1)

Ticket Own Goal

Another well done to Everton for stopping my young lad from attending his first ever game at Goodison against the Mancs.

I am registered on the e-ticket system but you can only buy 1 ticket per person for the game so I registered my lad too in his own name. Guess what? He can't buy a ticket as he has to have bought a ticket for another game in the past in order to buy one now. Not just a game this season but any game ever.

Question is, how then does he get to go to his first game if he has to have bought a ticket to a previous game in order to get a ticket for his first game?
Chris Leyland     Posted 05/09/2010 at 18:32:04   Comments (20)

Many happy returns, Bill!

It''s 9:45 pm in TalkShite Towers... the old romantic has had his cocoa, and nodded off watching re-runs of Coronation St (the ones he's in).

Jenny creeps upstairs to check that her little boy blue is fast asleep, so she can get on the internet and start looking for his birthday prezzie! It's so difficult, thinks Jenny, what would he want?

She casts her mind back to last year's offering, yes he really liked that. The complete box set of Harry Hill. And the year before, a DVD of A Christmas Carol, starring Alastair Sim.

Then there was the year she decided to spice their sex life up, by offering him a threesome with identical twins. He wasn't sure on this though... "How would I tell them apart?" he had said, and Jenny replied, "Susan's got red hair, and Henry's got a mustache!"

It really was a problem; what do you get the man who has nowt? Maybe those lovely people on ToffeeWeb can suggest something for his birthday?

Yes, I'll ask them!
Robert Daniels     Posted 04/09/2010 at 14:26:19   Comments (90)

Optimism!

Here's what I do 3 or 4 days after every loss or draw that should have been a win. So... every time this season. I take a look at the table and then I look at the schedule and I get super optimistic. Here's all we have to do to feel good by the end of the month.

1) Beat Man Utd: We did it last year. The boys have got to feel like they have something to prove. We have played good footy but just not converted. IT IS POSSIBLE.

2) Beat Newcastle: We should... end of. Especially to rub it in Gosling's face.

3) Draw or beat Fulham: Very possible... and probable we can draw. And almost as possible we can win.

There — 8-10 points from 6 games would be fine by me. More realistically if it ends up 4-7 well... let's just hope it's not 4!!
Joey Brown     Posted 04/09/2010 at 07:10:27   Comments (23)

Dave Prentice

When he was Everton correspondent for the Echo I admit I used to respect him, his match reports were pretty much spot-on, as were his views on all things Everton.

However.... since he moved into his new role, all he seems to want to do is cosy up to Bill Kenwright and the club and avoid criticising it at all costs which I find irritating. Defending the undefendable and most annoyingly, constantly stiching up outgoing players, the latest being Joey Yobo on Friday, who has been a good servant to our club.

I'd like to gage other Blues' opinions on Mr Prentice, the self-styled 'man on the inside of Merseyside football'.
Ste Traverse     Posted 04/09/2010 at 00:42:30   Comments (26)

My case for the total and utter destruction of the city of Birmingham

Nearly a week has gone by since the Villa vs Everton game and I am as smegged off as I was at the final whistle. I hate Aston Villa, more than I do the Shite. It's never straightforward with these tossers. There's always is a late goal, a red card or whatnot so that we never beat them.

This time it would be easy to blame Moyesie's ultra-defensive tactics for us failing to get a point (three actually) against a Villa side in turmoil. It would be easy for us to hold our hands up and admit to a tactical cock-up. But fuck that... it's easier to blame Villa instead — so let's do that.

I fucking hate Villa. And slowly but surely I am beginning to hate the city of Birmingham in it's entirety. I have been to the British metropoles of Stoke, Reading, Brighton, Liverpool and Swansea amongst others but truthfully never to Birmingham. However, I have only heard bad things about Birmingham from Brummie mates of others and mine who visited. It's a fucking shit-hole from what I have been told where the women look like men and the men are fucking wankers.

Anyhow, I digress. From an Evertonian point of view, we have everything to gain and nothing to lose from the total and utter destruction of the city of Birmingham. You don't believe me? Consider the following:

1. No more Aston Villa: No more purple-clad tossers with a Woody Allenesque manager (ok that problem has been solved prematurely) who fucking make my life a misery. Fuck off, Lerner; fuck off Carew... and so fuck off, Ashley Young, you fucking tosser. I hate you the most.

2. No more Wolverhampton Wanderers: There was a time not so long ago I used to like Wolves. I probably just found their crest cute and was misled. Well, guess what... I hate Wolves, too. Fuck off, you cunts. Three 1-1s later, I cannot bare the sight of McCarthy (well, he is not exactly an Adonis to start with now, is he?). But my point is that I hate Wolves. Fuck them.

3. No more Birmingham City: God Almighty, I hate them, too. Not only were we unable to beat this subpar team last season, but we also got knocked out at home by them in the FA Cup in what would have been an easy run. Just like Wolves, they frustrated the shit out of me last season and need to be punished for that. Annihilation seems like the only reasonable solution.

4. No more West Bromwich Albion: Admittedly, they have not troubled the Mighty Toffees in recent years so some might argue that it would be unfair to be resentful towards them. That may be true, but consider the sparrow (is that a sparrow?) on their team crest. Although I find sparrows cute, I bet this particular one is a total tosser and would shit all over you if you walked under his tree. Destroy him before he destroys you. Annihilation!!!

5. There is a 5th team in Birmingham that I can't think of right now. Fuck them, elusive cunts...

Fuck Birmingham. I hate that city and so should you.

COYB! FTRS!
Matthew Salem     Posted 04/09/2010 at 00:00:45   Comments (60)

Louis injured again!

Looks like Louis Saha's injury curse has struck again. He came on for France as a sub in the 70th minute and went in for a pretty innocuous looking challenge 5 minutes later where he appeared to hurt his knee.

Having signalled to the bench that he should be withdrawn he was swiftly removed, his game not even lasting 10 minutes. He did come off unaided however and appeared to be more disappointed than anything else so let's hope for the best.

Looks like those leeches didn't help much. Incidentally Belarus are 1 up with less than 5 minutes to play.
Alan Gubbins     Posted 03/09/2010 at 21:35:16   Comments (21)

Brentford vs Everton

Just wondering what the feeling is towards this fixture. I know if you are a local Evertonian, it's just a date in the diary, but it's 56 years since we played Brentford and it is generating interest in the area that they (BFC) maybe would not get from another Premier League club (Brentford have played Spurs, Liverpool, Newcastle in the past).

It's a great draw, and great for a small town in West London that is not fashionable. BFC on tv live Sunday, try to watch it, its a solid club that deserves the draw with the blues. I have waited 10 years for this fixture, cannot wait to see the Blues in Brentford.
Paul Skelhorn     Posted 03/09/2010 at 20:33:58   Comments (7)

The Best or Nothing

I assume I'm not the only Evertonian to have picked up on the brand new strapline for Mercedes. "The Best or Nothing" is so close to Nil Satis Nisi Optimum as to be indistinguishable.

Which presents an obvious opportunity, rather than a problem. Especially as Stuttgart (their base) doesn't have much of a team.

If I were Marketing Director, I'd be on to Mercedes yesterday to highlight this synergy and suggest a little exploitation of it. EPL games are screened globally. As good a marque as Mercedes obviously is, we can always do with some new marketing to wider audiences. I'd much prefer that smart logo on our shirts than an oriental beer.

I envisage management & players driving Mercs. Competitions for fans to do the same. A Mercedes stand with integral showroom & corporate facilities. Sheesh, the list of opportunities is endless.

Then again...
Alan Kirwin     Posted 03/09/2010 at 12:47:12   Comments (26)

Good old Goodison

No, not how dated it is... nor where our new stadium should be... not even how desperate for a new stadium we are.

Instead, where is you're favourite seat at Goodsion?

I've pretty much been in every stand with Lower Gwladys my favourite. Just wondered what others thoughts were?
Matt Brown     Posted 03/09/2010 at 12:02:23   Comments (28)

Pienaar's Contract

Okay, so the window is now closed and it has been, even by our high standards, a low-key end to the window — and that's saying something. Now that it is shut, I would like to particularly focus on Pienaar and "will he, won't he" sign a new contract?

A few things that need to be discussed.

1. Everton have made him a great offer, if we are to believe reports of £60k per week. However great this offer may be, I feel we may need to go another £5-10k per week to get the deal signed. I personally think that Pienaar is worth this as I class him in our Top 3 Players along with Arteta and Fellaini. Also, it is his last contract and if we can get him signed long-term it will settle him and we will get the best years of Pienaar's footballing career gracing the pitch each and every other week at Goodison Park.
2. The alternative. Well, this is for Mr Kenwright to dig in his heels not stump up the extra let's say £10k per week and Pienaar gets offered let's say £100k per week and signs a pre-contract agreement in January with for example Spurs.

Now the extra £10k per week would work out at £2.6M over 5 years... which, don't get me wrong, is a lot of money. The alternative, however, is to lose an asset worth £12-15M and get nothing but a Thank You card when he leaves for reserecting his career that had gone to shit in Germany.

Bill, stump up the bloody cash, for god's sake! It makes sense thinking with the heart and the head.
Brian Murphy     Posted 02/09/2010 at 11:52:47   Comments (70)

What will be our 25 man squad?

I suspect it will be:

Mucha, Turner, Howard – 3

Hibbert, Baines, Heitinga, Jagielka, Distin, Coleman, Rodwell, Duffy – 8

Bilyaletdinov, Arteta, Cahill, Neville, Pienaar, Osman, Fellaini, Wallace – 8

Saha, Vaughan, Beckford, Yakubu, Anichebe, Baxter - 6
Helikaon Bow     Posted 01/09/2010 at 16:41:36   Comments (21)

Failing to prepare

With an International week ahead of us and anticlimactic transfer window behind us (I did watch the countdown on SSN, Mr Round, and all I got was the most annoying idiots in studio waiting for Big Ben to chime). I started to think about our limp starts we seem to have each season. A case of failing to prepare... or preparing to fail?

What puzzles me is the constant choosing of lower league opposition and, what I see is, substandard preseason teams. Maybe someone else on here has covered this, but can someone explain to me why, while we’re playing the mighty Melbourne Heart, our rivals are playing top quality opposition?

Here's a list of the teams from preseason on the OS (granted some of the games were just the reserves)

Sydney FC
Bangor City
Melbourne Heart
Brisbane
Airbus UK
Clyde FC
Forfar Athletic
Preston North End
Norwich City
CD Everton
VfL Wolfsburg
Sligo Rovers

The only decent team in that whole list is Steve McClaren's Wolfsburg, and we lost that 2-0!

As a build up this season,
• Man City played Inter, Borussia Dortmund and Valencia
• Spurs played Villarreal and Fiorentina
• Liverpoool played Grasshopper Zurich,Kaiserslautern and Borussia Monchengladbach
• Villa played Valencia, Feyenoord and Benfica.

All top opposition and enough to give the players a taste of what’s to come.

I can understand one or two lower league teams at the start to welcome the players back to the pitch and get fitness levels up but why a full preseason of them? I know the Oz tour was probably more to do with marketing than getting good match time under our belts against other top players, but surely games against top European teams is required.

I’d prefer to be losing to top opposition, than getting meaningless victories over lesser teams. You can learn more from defeat then victory.

Am I seeing this from too a simplistic view point? If it seems this obvious to me, why not Everton and David Moyes!...or am I missing something??
David McKitt     Posted 01/09/2010 at 11:54:13   Comments (35)

What goes through their head?

First of all, thank you, Joey Yobo for your service; you where great when we needed you but now we have grown into a much better side it was best for you to move on!

Surely Yobo going frees up £20k to £30k a week to spend on a loan signings' wages or why not just sell him, pay a loan fee... or again wages! Birmingham sign Hleb on loan who is a quality player, Birmingham's wage structure surely isn't bigger than ours! Ben Arfa signs for Newcastle on loan — again their new wage structure isn't bigger than ours and both these players would prefer to be at Goodison than a small club and a relegation candidate.

And if we did make a late bid for Donovan or Bentley why not do it a week ago or well before Deadline Day! And Grafite from Wolfsburg, knowing Yobo was going, why not offer him the extra wages he wanted with the spare money! Or if he didn't want Yobo why not offer him to clubs weeks ago and give himself time to use the wages or loan fee instead of having an hour!

To me it seems really simple!
Chris  Hannon     Posted 01/09/2010 at 09:49:02   Comments (53)

Remember the Lucas Neill surprise?

Sitting over here in Boston on business — checking my blackberry under the meeting table and seeing the deadline come and go with no activity — it struck me that maybe Davey has a master plan: a great free transfer we can pick up in the next 2 weeks for nothing and then sell on for a milion squids in January, a la Lucas Neill.

So I just wanted to check the PFA free agent list... looking for a six-foot-plus centre-forward with Premier League experience who just might fit the bill... and we come up with Jeremy Alladiere, Benjani, Vas Te and Vennigor of Hesslink, along with a host of scholars just released. So that's that then — no real quality, as you might suspect. Unless you like the look of 38-year-old Barrington Hayles...

Then I had a look for right sided midfielders with electric pace... couldn't find any — unless we want Anderson Franco de Silva back again. So I guess we shouldn't expect any free transfers to give us a nice surprise — or can you find a hidden gem who might improve our squad?

http://www.givemefootball.com/pfa-transfer-list

Answers on a post card please to one Mr Kenwright, OBE.
Steve Jones     Posted 01/09/2010 at 02:31:51   Comments (13)

What was all that about?

Lost in the disappointment of Sunday’s defeat and the crazy twittering of Transfer Dead Donkey Dday was something that caught my eye last Thursday or Friday…. It was officially announced that Jack Rodwell would play against Villa on Sunday.

How very strange... as Moyesie rarely gives anything away before the mandatory 30 minutes prior to kick off comes around. Now why would he do that???

Maybe it was to let Mr Capello know that he would be playing and it was worth coming along to watch… Maybe it was to keep young Jack happy before he got his head turned by offers from the Man Utd Godfather… Maybe …maybe …maybe…answers on a postcard…

Then, true to form, Moyes plays a master stroke and plays him out of position with more accustomed wide players Bily and maybe Ossie on the bench Poor Jack has a bit of a ‘mare — everyone knows his only position is in a central area — but who are you going to move to let him play there? Jags, Fellaini, or John H ...when DM decides to play our best defender rather than leave him on the bench for the whole game…

Am I imagining all of this or does anyone else have a read on this strange happening or am I bored already???
David Cooper     Posted 01/09/2010 at 00:04:20   Comments (25)

Is this a coincidence, Landon?

I know the whole Landon Donavon thing has been done to death on here but I just wanted to point out something I noticed on Deadline Day.

Mr Donovan has been proudly sporting the picture of his number '9 Donovan' shirt on his twitter profile ever since he left us; I notice today it has changed back to him in a Galaxy shirt.

It's no secret he wanted to join the Blues permanently... maybe he was secretly hoping Bill would dig deep into those empty pockets of his. Or maybe it's just a coincidence!

Either way, I hope he comes back on loan in January because we sure look exposed over on the right... Let's be honest: Rodwell is no winger!
Matt Brown     Posted 31/08/2010 at 23:02:04   Comments (20)

Bye Joe

Mixed feelings today with the departure of Joey Yobo. He gave us great service, but was allowed to go in search of more regular first-team football.

Who could forget the 'calamity' errors against the likes of Man Utd when he passed straight to Rooney? But then there were great moments, like some last-gasp tackling, and of course his goal against Chelsea.

But overall a great servant of 8 years, which is quite a long time these days. I wish him well in Fenerbahce.

Best of luck, Joe.
Brendan O' Doherty     Posted 31/08/2010 at 19:51:39   Comments (62)

Shut that Window, and open the door

Now all the nonsense is behind us and we haven't been able to snare DJ Campbell or Grafite, can someone give us some info on Gueye and the Portugese lad, da Silva? Is there any possibility either of these two can do something for us this season?

We now have to work (well, Davey or his replacement does) with what we have got. What about the defender we got from Hamburg (Mustafi)?

Should Yobo come back into the picture if Jags is crocked for a while? Can Coleman cement a place in the team ahead of Pip? Questions,Questions, so many questions. Oh, I'm so tired after todays speculation, just... so, you know... tired.
John Brennan     Posted 31/08/2010 at 18:41:05   Comments (33)

Ladbrokes suspend bets...

Ladbrokes suspend bets on Moyes becoming next Villa boss! Whats going on?!
Rob Hackett     Posted 30/08/2010 at 18:15:47   Comments (145)