Premier League — Matchweek 31

Cracking start to the promotion battle between Ipswich and Southampton. 1-1 after 15 minutes.

2-1 sinbads.

What a well-taken goal by Broadhead.

Great game: great finish: great scenes: how to make subs Mr. Dyche – that's another long trip for you next season, Rob, mate.

What a great game that Ipswich game was. Two team going for it, but can actually pass and move. Far far better than anything we do.

Think I'd take either of the Ipswich or Southampton managers over Dyche.

Yep, I was on that train, Paul.

Still waiting to hear if I won the match ball in the raffle??

We need 4 away wins tonight, please.

Yesssss
Come on you Arse

Luton are four points back and we have an old favorite, the game in hand.

Barkley trying hard, he seems to chase and press more than he did with us. Nailed on to move to Brighton, I reckon, if the hatters go down.

Paul, WHEN the Hatters go down

Agree Edward.

Luton giving it a go at least

They're getting battered PH

Hardly.

This is Arsenal in second gear without Martinelli. Oh wait here he is.

and Rice

We'll show the hatters how to park the bus for 90 minutes and get REALLY battered away at Arse.

Yes Soren, we’ll be so negative.

Agricultural, please.

Can’t do with being negative.

Arsenal coasting here - it's more embarrassing to have the other side coasting than winning 6-0. Ah, Soren, on cue. To be fair Brent, it is what he is and does.

10 to go City could make up a four goal GD deficit.

that would have been goal of the month if City had scored there - how good is Foden

Who was in goal for Arsenal? Just asking cos I never saw him all game!

It was Raya. But you're right Rob. Luton got nowhere near him. They were shite. Going down for sure.

10 Dale? 37

Paul. Foden is an outstanding footballer.
A joy to watch. Most of his midfield colleagues are pretty impressive too. Must be tough for him when he plays for England - surrounded by lesser players than he’s used to.

It aint that bad at England Mike, Saka, Bellingham, Rice, but no Rodri and crap forwards last week. Get fecking Haaland on Pep you fecking knobhead, he's captain of my fantasy team

Three horse race, go and score as many goals as possible, because goal difference might just count in the end.

I still haven’t forgiven Arteta, for coming on and strolling (on his way back from injury) when we were beating Sporting Lisbon, 2-0, and there was more goals in the game for us until he slowed the game right down, and then we gave away a stupid goal, and then Osman, was sent off, and we ended up going to Portugal, with a one goal lead, instead of being comfortably out of sight.

We capitulated in Lisbon, but I suppose I can’t remember that many nights when we did ourselves justice under Moyes, away from Goodison Pk.

Well, Foden is also in my FPL team so well done fella x2 - great work by Rodri

Sorry, was thinking 40 for some reason

Paul #34 I think you’re being very fair!

Brentford still in touching distance (points deduction notwithstanding)

And they play Luton next

Sorry it’s Bournemouth next for The Amazing Luton

It's funny Brent. Some fella did it on the match thread. All of sudden someoe pops on spouting doom and gloom drivel and it's completely out of step with how the thread is going.

That works for my FantasyL - Foden hat trick Jesus, world class, the way he slipped and got up and did that.

Did you see that scarf, Polish Blues!

Foden hat trick. An unbelievable player.

maybe it was a question, polish blues? To clean the PL trophy once we win it

Having gone through our fixtures home and away, I reckon we will end up on between 34pts and 38pts depending on how the results go, and I am hoping that would be enough to keep us up, but that is also dependent on any further points deduction via psr.

Luton’s next away game is at Man City. I dread to think how many city will put past them?

Mind, I dread to think how many the RS will put past the blades tomorrow night.

Paul #48 you wouldn’t want to spoil their narrative. All prepared even before a game starts.

Mal - Luton won’t get any more than 32 points and they will be lucky to get near that. I’ve got them down to beat us but if they don’t win that then I can see them getting less that 30

and to get as quickly as possible on the match thread to predict doom and gloom and the inevitable, they hope, told yer so.

I wonder if that Andy Meighan fella who told us all how badly we would lose yesterday before he left for the game – and called Rob an "idiot" – celebrated when Calvert-Lewin scored and had a better trip home than to Skunkville.

Paul, I think that's exactly what it is.

All noise when we're losing (I give you Newcastle this week). Nowhere to be seen when the same later turns.

We have a few games that are winnable against the teams around us and we simply have to do it to stay up.

Shooting practice and scoring should be top of the list in training.

Palace have a lot more about them than all of the teams at the bottom but their run in is nightmarish. Glad we don't have that to deal with.

Even if the league docks us more points before the season ends, which I think is unlikely, Everton still have games against those around them to replenish the points total. Brentford dropping two today and Luton losing is all good.

We have had a horrendous run which surely should end soon — and it will if the defensive side of things holds firm.

Paul, didn't Andy Meighan say something like he was going to Newcastle and then was going to come on here after we lost and give it loads about Dyche etc? Funny thing to say.

It's almost like saying you want to lose the game, despite travelling to the game. I guess only an idiot would say something like that!

Rob,

I think it's something to do with feeling good in one way or another. Good if we win. But good if we lose by being able to say “I told you so”.

Rob and Brent,

Andy Meighan's bizarre rant did unintentionally make me chuckle…

Rob, that's exactly what I wrote because you're right: Andy Meighan as going to the match to watch us lose and knew we would lose.

So I pointed out that that was idiotic but, in his view, you were the idiot because you believed we could get a result!

I haven't seen anything from Andy Meighan since.

He's probably feeling a little sheepish now, about such an idiotic comment!

Chris #55. I think that Luton will be a tough game and I have factored that in as a loss. I hope that I am wrong.

Burnley I am hoping for a win, I can't see us getting anything at Chelsea, I think that we might draw at home to Nottm Forest, nil points from the derby game, Brentford a draw or a win for us. Sheffield United we will beat them, and Arsenal we will be lucky to get anything.

I hope that we have a run of decent form in some winnable games and, like you say, some below us look doomed, so let's get some points in the bag, try and avoid a points deduction and, survive to fight another day next season.

Andy Meighan is a pretty vocal fellow, Rob, not normally one of those who slinks away. He'll be back. Anyway, I was made up for the travelling blues when that goal went in and you all seemed to have made it back without a heart attack climbing up those stairs.

Why don't Everton and everyone else complain to the Premier League that the Skunks are breaching regulations which say that away fans ought to be at least partly pitchside like they are at the Old Lady?

I used to travel to loads of away games when I was younger knowing they would lose, and I used to hate watching “Disappointing Walter's - Everton” so I actually think that I know where Andy, was coming from.

Everton, means a lot to us and people vent their frustration in different ways, but like I've been saying since Saturday, (after a game I didn't even watch, which is also not normal, me not wanting to watch Everton, or at least listen on the radio) everyone has got to stick together right now.

The players look to be playing with no real confidence, and this is reflected in the stands, because the fans don't have much confidence in the team right now either. Tuesday night was the perfect example, because the first hour must have filled a lot of Evertonians with pain, but then suddenly the players started having a proper go, and showed us that we have actually got some players.

Confidence is key, so it's vitally important that we beat Burnley, because it's the only way confidence and momentum will grow at such an important time in our history.

I'll give Andy Meighan 10 out of 10 for going to the game, same as the rest of those brilliant supporters who went. I doubt very much he was calling Rob an idiot personally, just questioning himself and all the fans who travel away to watch this wretched squad performing like they have done for the last 3 months.

Haven't we all reflected, when coming out of Goodison Park after the last few home games, thinking "What the fuck am I coming here for watching that rubbish?"

I think it is the love of Everton, the team we have followed for donkey's years, good, bad and indifferent but now sunk to this pathetic level getting us thinking this way.

This is in no way a reflection on the managership of Dyche. God knows what he thinks about the squad he inherited, he has made mistakes and continues to make them but, if we stay up, I think he deserves a lot of credit.

But no way as much as us supporters who have stayed with the team and club over many years of failure, with those fantastic away fans right at the front of the queue.

Very well put, Dave.

I'm sure Andy meant no harm or insult and it was just an outburst.

I get that daily from family and friends.

I'm equally sure that if I met Andy at a match, we'd get on fine.

Given that you and Paul are now best buddies, Danny, I'm sure that's true! 👍

Seems like there is now a move away from points being deducted for any overspend and instead the rumours are that the Premier League are thinking about introducing a luxury tax next season.

So instead of deducting points like ourselves and Forest have had, they will fine clubs who overspend, with the money shared amongst the rest of the Premier League.

Looks like the penny has dropped with the Premier League that many clubs worrying over breaking P&S rules and therefore the richest league in football could be a league where spending becomes very limited.

That is the last thing the Premier League want as that would make selling the Premier League to other countries far less attractive.

So, like so many rules that have been brought in by the authorities over the last 25 years, it always seems Everton fall foul before amendments are made.

I don't know how to phrase it Brian, so I'll have to revert to my roots.

They've shit themselves!

They would have to prosecute every club and there is no way they are taking on Chelsea or Manchester City.

So they get a free pass.

Now give us and Forest our points back.

And then get DCMS and true independent regulators in.

And have Masters sit next to me at a match.

Couldn't have put it better myself, Danny, but can't see them backing down over our deduction and Forest, they will peddle the line that they were only applying the rules as voted on by the majority of Premier League clubs. So how do they let City and Chelsea off the hook as their rule breaks happened under the old rules?

As I say, the penny has dropped they now realize they are in danger of killing the golden goose. I am convinced changes will be made for next season, otherwise everything collapses.

Brian and Danny… it's getting ridiculous now.

There's talk that Newcastle may have to sell Isak and Guimaraes, Villa may have to sell Watkins, Chelsea may have to sell Reece James and / or Conor Gallagher, all just so they don't breach PSR.

Squads will start being decimated, all for the sake of a fear of a few points deduction. I know there are possible rule changes coming into force for next season, but didn't Masters say PSR would remain for a least a few more years?

If so, I'd tell him to stick it and just go spend whatever any club wants, after all, only three clubs can be relegated. So let the Premier League deduct points off its clubs who breach PSR.

My better half said Villa would get off the hook, Rob.

In fact, forget my previous. Let's have Masters sat between you, I and Dave!

It would be entertaining even though we might get ejected!

Blades nearly ahead after 40 seconds. McAtee with a clear shot on goal from about four yards out but hits it straight at the keeper.

Come on, you Blades...

For fuck's sake, Blades lol. What the fuck was that!?

What a poxy goal for the shite. Keeper smacks the ball right against Nunez and the ball rebounds into the net.

Well that's Sheffield done for. Stupid goal.

Sheffield just have to hang on 70 minutes and then nick one.

Sheffield Goalie high fiving with defender after his bollock up. ????.

Last night Luton were 30/1 to win, in a two horse race. God knows what Sheff Utd’s odds are tonight?

3 horse race Rob, draw counts in 90 mins

Rob. You can have 145/1 on Betfair. Tempted ??

A pedalo’s chance in the Mersey, Rob.

No thanks, Simon. Ain’t gonna happen!

Best league in the world were one team are 1-0 down and 150/1 after 25 mins.

Brent, there’s more chance of the pedalo sinking in the Mersey than there is of Sheff. Utd winning tonight.

You have a lot of faith in my shipbuilding skills, Rob.

Brent, if it was built by Cammell Lairds, then maybe I’d have faith, but…………😁😁😁

Man Utd goalie shocking again.

£47 million!!!

Sheffield Utd are doing okay. They might nick one, you never know. Shite look well under par.

That kid Cole Palmer is mustard. He has a bit of everything.

Sheffield just have to hang on 45 minutes and then nick one.

I've always said that we should never listen to ToffeeWebbers with no hair they just don't get it.

Is dissent not a booking anymore? Antony tells the linesman to “Fuck Off” because he never got a corner.

How Ferry dare you!

Shocking player Rob.

Sometimes you wonder how the hell do the Manure do the double on us almost every bloody season! They are total shit tbh.

It's all pretty easy for Chelsea - barely out of first gear and all over Utd like a cheap suit

Sheffield just have to hang on 35 minutes and then nick one.

hahahahahahaha

Brent, what will you say in 30 minutes time?

He's a lazy twat Rob, that Dr. Stephens, he just keeps the words and changes the number as appropriate

1-1

1-1 crikey

Very poor by Caicedo. That’s what £115M gets you. 2-1.

There’s the nicked one.

Fuckin gerrrinnn, hopefully.

gerrriinnnnn

Sheffield just got to hold on for 30 minutes and nick a second.

even better Bradley boy wonder OG

Good plan, Brent! 😁😁😁

2-2. Chelsea shit defending again.

Only 20 minutes left for Sheffield to nick that second. Don’t leave it too late.

Virgil Van Choke

17 minutes to go now.

SHIT. 2-1

I really think we can beat this Chelsea team. Their defence is shocking.

Looks like Holgate has finally got rid of that chewing gum. About time, it’s about 10 years old.

Looks like the ref is panicking as full time is approaching and the shite can score the winner! Every decision in RS favour now.

Fuck sake…….knew I shouldn’t have turned over. 😡😡

OH FUCK (shite most goals in final 15 so far this season)

Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in. Anybody got a beer?

Well we had some good times while it lasted.

That should keep Sheffield below us.

Oh dear

BRING DAVIES ON

Someone just texted me: 1-1. I replied "Fuckn shut up" and then I came back on ToffeeWeb to see your orange faces Rob. Two fuckn schoolboy errors, and Liverpool are back in front.

Let's all just shut our eyes and wait for Brent to tell us there's been an equalizer🤞

Holgate losing position 5 feet from their own 18-yard box.

I've always been a big fan of Mac Allister.

Then he signed for them and ruined everything.

5 minutes for that Sheffield equaliser.

He had a great world cup James.

3-1.

All over

He did Paul. He was great to watch for Argentina, he dovetails nicely with Messi

fuck off

Script, Sheffield. Read the fecking script.

Is the Chelsea match on Sky or the other one, I need to get out of this match - they'll be singing YNWA in a minute…

I turned it off too - Chelsea is on the other TNT Sports

Fuck Liverpool until we play them. Hopefully by then the team will have had a few wins under their belt, and everyone will be feeling a lot more confident.

I can imagine the noise if Everton put in a proper performance that night, so I just hope my imagination isn't playing tricks on me.

Especially because we are going to be getting called the bitterest bastards under the floodlights, if it's not my imagination playing tricks on me.💙

When Sheffield Utd equalised my son texted me from Italy where he's on holiday to celebrate.

I texted back and said “Too early to equalise, I'm going 3-1 to the shite - 78 and 94 mins” I was so nearly spot on!

Thanks James

Law of averages, Tony. As I’ve been saying to myself for years. Law of averages. Gotta get a win sometime.

That "for years" is the rub Brent.

Paul, just this once, mate. A vital 3 points for us and a crucial defeat for them. Please.

I'm kneeling next to you Brother Brent.

We have been shit “for years” but sometimes, something’s just restore the faith, Paul!

Tony, I'm thinking really nice thoughts over here.

Chelsea now losing. Terrible team

What a pass from Anthony.

This Chelsea team are nowhere near the one from a few years back, with Ashley Cole, John Terry, Lampard etc. Think it will be a long time before we see them win the league again, or even make champions league.

They have bought too many players Rob at top dollar and crazy long contracts.

I think we can beat Chelsea. They are poor. The only thing that do us is if the sack poch. There fuck all commitment there. They are not playing for their manager

Palmer is the only Chelsea player I would be worried about Sean.

What a bunch of twats booing Mount.

I’d have Palmer in a flash. And what a penalty taker.

Beat me by a second, Paul!

Story of your life Dr. Stephens.

Palmer is a really good player but tends to revert to Man City mentality and tries to walk ball into net Paul. Bar him the rest are overpaid mercenaries.
How can you waste so much money on players and end up worse off. Oh wait…they must have asked Kenwright what would Everton do.

Ha ha Sean. And the big fat Greek Forest owner Sean. How many players should I buy? 41. OK (41 fecking players).

Paul #155

"crazy long contracts"... not long ago posters were arguing Chelsea were unfairly exploiting a loophole in the Premier League rules.

Died a death pretty quickly that...

Stupid penalty. Idiots. Da lot of them.

On my mind as I was typing Brendan.

Palmer again from the spot. 3-3.

I saw what you did there Brent nailed on, why are they taking so long

4-3 Palmer hat trick. 😅😅😅😅

He’s so cool taking penalties

You wont see a calmer and cooler penalty after a delay like that.

Palmer again saves poch

Chelsea win 4-3, but they were shite.

OMG

Blimey it took about 3min from Poch on the edge, back to Haag on the chop

We will still beat chelsea

Don,t think I can criticize Everton after watching the shambles of supposedly 2 top teams

Bill, if we won or lost 4-3 I might actually be happy mate.

United are shite. To leave a player like Palmer unmarked in the edge of the box is just crazy.. they must have thought it was Mudryk.

Even more shite Sean, is what the feck were Man City thinking selling Palmer. Mind you, he is a Man Utd fan. Signing of the season and with Foden two best players in the Premier League this season.

Paul, I would only be happy if we won.

Hell of a game. I wonder how many punk Chelsea fans who had already left will claim in future years they saw it out to the end.

Understand Bill, but at least if we lost 4-3 we must have played some good stuff with a heart.

Paul 178

I’d be happy if we scored two, never mind three or four.

They showed a fella in a wheelchair Mike being wheeled back in at the speed of light after the third.

I know Charles, Saturday surely, but I'll take a scrappy 1-0.

Well, Sheffield United are pretty much through the trapdoor.

Whether they are on the beach or play with freedom when we meet the remains to be seen.

And Ollie McBurnie is a yard dog.

Goals flying in so far in these Champions League matches.

Arsenal were bossing it, up 1-0, then a stupid giveaway and concede a penalty to go down 1-2 to Bayern.

On CBS regular cable in North America.

Beauty by Foden

Arsenal 2-2 Bayern Munich
Real Madrid 3-3 Madrid City

As usual the knockout stages bring the drama after the foregone conclusion snoozefest of the group stages.

Fuck me, Micah Richards is the most annoying "analyst" in the history of football. Take a Valium dude.