Fans Comment
Gavin Ramejkis

End-of-season last-match report card
8 May 2006

Today's class:

Iain Turner: 8 out of 10 — class compared to Wright, but who isn't; some brave and well-taken saves — first team over Wright.

Nuno Valente: 7 out of 10 — hair redyed for today but still looks better than Pistone or Naysmith even though much older; has a comical dive action to earn free kicks (not applauded, Mr Sparke) — first teamer given opposition.

Davie Weir: 5 out of 10 — great servant but now too slow and has become a shirt pulling one-trick pony; not good enough even as squad player and certainly too quiet for captain's armband.

Alan Stubbs: 6 out of 10 — another great servant and has at least half a yard on Weir; a squad player and possible captain as he can be heard.

Phil Neville: 6 out of 10 — not the greatest right back we have and showed how missing the midfield was that he ran out of position in frustration to earn yellow card today fouling Kanu (see S Davies score); perfect as a first or squad player, multi-position available

Kevin Kilbane: 4 out of 10 — past his best and but for competition would be a squad player already; has more mares of games than good ones; squad player???

Leon Osman: 7 out of 10 — lion-hearted but small build means he will never be a Viera or such... his strength is his ability to create space and pass but sadly today he left passing a little late and was strangely short of his usual 25/30 yard shooting boots as were everyone else; first team or squad player.

Simon Davies: 0 out of 10 — flatters to decieve as a footballer, clearly out of his depth in the top flight, goes missing far too often; a winger who can't stay on a wing or central midfielder that can't wait to get rid of the ball once he has it instead of trying to go past his marker or choosing a half decent pass to make; not fit to carry the half-time oranges at a Sunday league game - get shut.

Mikel Arteta: 8 out of 10 — way too classy for many of his team mates, a player who can switch either wing and did several times today but needs class ahead of him to deliver a killing pass to; a first teamer.

James McFadden: 5 out of 10 — terrible flashes of selfishness and lack of passing and choosing to try to walk ball through three or four opposition players, is always going to end up in tears, flatters to deceive, Scottish Rooney my arse; squad player

Duncan Ferguson: 5 out of 10 — finished at end of last season, plays hard but way too slow and predictable to be of any future value, great servant now past his sell by date, bad penalty and rebound that luckily went in off the keeper today for the equaliser, both shots straight at keeper; retire.

Victor Anichebe: 7 out of 10 — obviously no world stormer but looks strong and has a striker's eye for goal, took his chance well and deserved penalty that ref failed to give today; future first team... but will Moyes give him any chance????

Andy van der Meyde: 5 out of 10 — did he actually touch the ball after he came on?? It didn't help that the second he did come on, ALL the play went up the opposite wing from him; a sign?? A risky squad player given injuries.

Other players to comment on — not involved today:

Richard Wright: 4 out of 10 — a squad keeper never good enough after he left Ipswich; get sold.

John Ruddy: 5 out of 10 — not enough known but still very very young; squad player, get on loan.

Nigel Martyn: 8 out of 10 — great keeper! Everton fucked up getting him 10 years ago... if only! First choice given current squad — fingers crossed.

Matteo Ferrari: 7 out of 10 — looks quality, fast, strong and plays ball out of trouble rather than hoofing it, Moyes and Kenwright appear to be only people who know why he hasn't played; should be first team.

Joey Yobo: 7 out of 10 — strong and improving player, still personally rate him way above Weir even for his mistakes; first team.

Tony Hibbert: 6 out of 10 — best current-choice right back, looks good defending and has improved going forward but needs to train on his cross delivery; first team

Sandro Pistone: 4 out of 10 — ponced about at the end of last season claiming he was wanted in Italy... we should have driven him to airport; squad player.

Gary Naysmith: 3 out of 10 — has improved but still poor and prone to bad mistakes against quicker players, rumoured to be wanted in Scotland, again taxi should have been paid for; squad player.

James Beattie: 6 out of 10 — jury still out, much improved but can be very lazy and needs to sort weight out once and for all, some good goals but needs a foil and should NEVER PLAY AS A LONE STRIKER as he just can't do it; first team.

Lee Carsley: 6 out of 10 — good squad player but need to play to his strengths in a 4-5-1 holding role... is this just too negative á la Moyes style? First team or squad player dependent on formation.

Tim Cahill: 7 out of 10 — bad second season and some injuries, not helped by his silly fouls/tackling style, still great to watch him rise like a salmon and bury the occasional header; first team

Li Tie: 0 out of 10 — too injured for Everton but playing internationals; bye bye

James Vaughan: 7 out of 10 — the great young hope, crippled in some meaningless Engerland shite match/warm up, says it all, upsetting that some butcher carved his knee rather than getting club insurance to get it right first time with specialist; future first team as long as his knee can be repaired.

Thoughts from the match today: Tomasz Kuszczak — why not a dabble on who appears to be a great shot stopper now condemned to lower league tat... and Jonathon Greening, a winger who can stay on one, run down it and cross a ball - all Chsampionship Manager stuff... but why not?
Gavin Ramejkis


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