It's 48 years since that first playtime at my first school in Rainhill. One end of the playground was shouting "Liverpool" and the other "Everton" – I of course chose the wrong way to go but there's no turning back.
I've spent the last 30 years living and working in SE Asia so I should have got this out of my system by now; after all, I've always got the rugby league and the Saints to fall back on and they're going pretty well. (Remember, I am from the Rainhill borderlands after all...) But no, come the Monday after a loss, everyone knows to give me a wide berth; especially the Man Utd supporters who proliferate over here.
Why do I still care? Goodness only knows – but care I do.
ToffeeWeb has a lot to answer for: just when the latest poor result or failure to get players makes me think I've had enough, the fun, sarcasm and caustic wit on the site rekindles the home-sickness and the love of Everton and Liverpool (the city, not the team of course).
I do have one abject apology to make: my wife didn't tell me everything before we married. I knew she was from a different religion and race (being Chinese Malaysian, that's pretty obvious) but she never told me she was a Liverpool supporter. For that, I beg forgiveness and would ask if anyone knows if this is grounds for divorce – I mean, what's 25 years of marriage compared to 48 years of Everton? She even likes Gerrard, for goodness sake... Her whole family is the same. It puts me off heading up to Malaysia – if only the food (and her cooking) wasn't so good!
I am enjoying Liverpool fans' complete and utter lack of appreciation of irony in their moaning about their "undeserved" punishment for the ratboy saga – and they call us the 'Bitters' for the Heysel aftermath! I hate them. (But not the wife!)
Reader Comments (16)
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1 Posted 03/07/2014 at 08:04:06
Why? because you're just an arl woolieback what don't know no better, cocker, and yes it is grounds for divorce Â— not automatically, but grounds for a good think, if She's giving you stick. (Source: The Onslow Declaration in Keeping Up Appearances)
2 Posted 03/07/2014 at 08:18:51
Supporting Everton can wreck your head and break your heart in equal measures. Could I stop even if I wanted to, especially after thirty years of suffering? I don't think so.
I discovered ToffeeWeb seven or eight years ago. At the time, I was reliant on newspapers, the official site, Match of the Day and ceefax/teletext for my information. (For the younger readers, ceefax/teletext may have it's own wikipedia page, look it up. I'm sure it's a social history project in the making.) I honestly don't think I would have half the interest in, or knowledge about the club, if it wasn't for ToffeeWeb. I may have drifted away in increments.
3 Posted 03/07/2014 at 08:36:01
I married a Liverpool supporter from Ireland 28 years ago this August. Took her to the Charity Shield on our honeymoon (1-1 draw was quite acceptable as regards a fledgling marriage).
Somehow got us tickets in the Bullens to watch THAT Wimbledon game. That day she saw the light and ever since she can't stand the Kopites! My sis has always been a Blue. Now I just have to work on my two brothers!
My advice Â– get her to Goodison!
4 Posted 03/07/2014 at 08:58:12
My thinking is, if I try and lay down the law, it'll backfire Â– he's a determined chap. So I'm beginning a subtle bit of social engineering whereby I develop positive associations with Everton and crappy ones with our neighbours Â– starting with buying him his first kit (positive). Regarding the negative, Mr Suarez has done me a favour there.
It will take time, but I feel the investment is worth it. FOR HIS SOUL.
5 Posted 03/07/2014 at 09:46:41
Maybe divorce isn't the option... but I wonder if any Blue out there has a cure for Redshite supporting wives. A Blue friend whose second son started supporting Man Utd against family tradition offered a Playstation if he would change; being young enough and eyeing the Playstation, he changed and is now a grown up member of the Blue family.
But a Redshite-supporting wife would have to have something special...
6 Posted 03/07/2014 at 10:12:23
If he continues, remove him from your will.
7 Posted 03/07/2014 at 10:15:21
8 Posted 03/07/2014 at 10:16:29
9 Posted 03/07/2014 at 10:26:00
How do you figure?
10 Posted 03/07/2014 at 11:09:33
Having said that, life might have been a heck of a lot easier on the dark side!
11 Posted 03/07/2014 at 11:12:50
He won't get that following the club across the park.
12 Posted 03/07/2014 at 12:18:39
Because, once Everton touch you, nothing will be the same....
Wise words, them!
13 Posted 03/07/2014 at 13:01:31
14 Posted 03/07/2014 at 18:18:15
Michael Owen is to blame for a lot of the Asian women I know supporting the rs.
At least our daughter is following the right path and is a Blue.
15 Posted 03/07/2014 at 23:49:21
16 Posted 04/07/2014 at 00:34:56
I'm glad to hear your daughter has seen the light. My daughter too Â– now my son, well, what can I say. The Owen observation is spot on.
Ste, It's yin and yang, light and dark, good and evil Â– you can't have one without the other... they just make us look so much better. I know we should rise above it but, if we win, they lose, it still makes the perfect weekend for me.
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