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The Forgotten XI

by   |   15/08/2014  Comments (83)  jump

Before the new season kicks off and all of the talk on here gets very serious, let’s take a look back through the years at an Everton team that none of us were ever very serious about. This is the team that time forgot; the team that makes you stop and think to yourself for a minute about whether these players ever actually pulled on the royal blue shirt, the team that most non-Evertonians wouldn’t even recognize as an Everton line-up. Did they play for Everton? Really? When?

The Forgotten XI is reserved for players that never made a career or even a name for themselves at Everton. Some may have never even crossed the touchline. Some were unlucky with injuries, some were loan signings that just didn’t work out and some were just simply forgettable. This is not the worst Everton team of all time, those absolute shockers we’ve had down the years were at least memorable.

Before I begin, let me stress, this post is designed to be a bit of fun before the serious stuff starts tomorrow. My forgotten XI is based on my own opinions having watched Everton for over 30 years. I invite and encourage you to share yours. Clearly there will be players that, well, I’ve forgotten.

1. Espen Baardsen – The Norwegian stopper played one game, against his former club, conceding four goals. He retired citing that he’d fallen out of love with the game. Evertonians don’t fall out of love with the game, mate.

2. Li Weifeng – A member of the Kejian’s HQ 5-a-side team that negotiated himself into the shirt sponsorship deal. Now back in the accounts department where he belongs.

3. John O’Kane – Who said we take Manchester United’s unwanted rubbish?

4. Anthony Gardner – Another former Spurs man who seemingly used Everton as a more luxurious version of the NHS.

5. Per Krøldrup – Moyes made some great signings on the cheap, he really did. But oddly when he did get the chance to blurt out a sizeable wad of cash it never seemed to quite work out for him. The signing of this centre-half went particularly per-shaped... I’ll get my coat.

6. Billy Kenny – No joke here, just a very sad waste of talent and opportunity. Sigh.

7. Rodrigo – The Brazilian winger, the next Rivaldo, personally remembered by me for confidently stepping up at Maine Road to sting a direct free-kick from just outside the area… out for a throw in.

8. Alex Nyarko – Had two bites of the cherry and squandered both. Career highlight was hitting the underside of the bar against Chelsea… he didn’t half hit that one shot well though didn’t he.

9. John Spencer – The former Chelsea man came in during those very special Walter Smith years and his goal-scoring exploits contributed to many a clean sheet for the other team.

10. Tommy Johnson – The ex-Villa and Celtic red-haired assassin. Another striker who smashed home a grand total of zero goals in a blue shirt.

11. Jesper Blomqvist – The highly regarded tricky Swedish winger looked to banish the memories of our previous tricky Swedish winger Niklas Alexanderson. Lesson learned. Don’t buy Swedish wingers.

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Reader Comments (83)

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Dick Brady
1 Posted 15/08/2014 at 15:29:30
Marouane Fellaini cost Everton 㾻 million and was sold to Man Utd for nearly double (㿇.5M). You could say that big money Moyes signing worked out.

Yakubu cost 㾷.5 million and he was the first Everton player since Peter Beardsley to hit 20 goals in a season. He wasn't too bad a transfer too until injuries got to him.

Dick Brady
2 Posted 15/08/2014 at 15:40:45
And no Forgotten XI would be complete without Claus Thomsen or Danny Williamson.
Stephen Brown
3 Posted 15/08/2014 at 15:53:21
Steffan Rehn was one of our first foreign signings and came with a big CV. Didn't happen for him!
Stephen Brown
4 Posted 15/08/2014 at 15:58:21
David Burrows.
Phil Bellis
5 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:02:34
I give you...
Ibrahima Bakayoko
Ian Durrant and
Glenn "32 minutes" Keeley
Tony J Williams
6 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:01:39
The usual suspect with me – fecking Ian Wilson.

Does no good for my blood pressure just the mere mention of his name sends it soaring.

Jon Ferguson
7 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:08:50
I seem to remember we had some Danish midfielder or full back Peter Degn who has much hyped then only played a handfull of games over a few years.
Ray Robinson
8 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:04:08
Philippe Senderos, Carlo Nash, Segundo Castillio, Anderson da Silva, Stefan Wessels, Matteo Ferrari, Peter Degn .......
Andy Mack
9 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:19:37
Mr A Pistone's second spell, surely gives him a place on the subs bench or more likely the treatment room. Memory is hazy, I quite liked him but he always seemed injured during his initial spell. He left the club for a few weeks and then re-signed for two years and made only a handful of appearances before being released yet again.
Ray Roche
10 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:32:49
Marc Hottiger, Vinnie Samways, Terry Phelan, Earl feckin Barrett, Mark Hughes, Mike Milligan, Mikael Madar...

Christ, I need a lie down!

Chris Rudd
11 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:43:17
When Mike Milligan entered the fray in the infamous "Southall sitting by the goalpost' first game of the season against Leeds, I thought we'd sent a ball boy or the mascot on.

He cost us one million pounds – and one season of very little followed as I recall, before he was shipped out to Oldham.

Chris Rudd
12 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:47:02
Actually I quite liked Mad Mick Madar in a strange way and he did score a few important goals to help us survive once again.
Phil Walling
13 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:44:25
Aren't those of us of a certain age still having nightmares about the likes of Bernie Wright and Brett Angell?

They don't make the 'Forgotten XI' because you can never forget just how bad they were!

Dave Abrahams
14 Posted 15/08/2014 at 16:47:59
One lad who never made it at Everton was Gerry Humphries but strangely scored one of the best goals IÂ’ve ever seen at Goodison against Sheffield Wednesday in a 3-0 win.

This was under Harry Catterick in the 60s.

Ray Roche
15 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:05:35
Dave, was that the volley he smashed in in the Gwladys St? Some goal...
Anthony Flack
16 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:06:38
I seem to remember Nyarko having a blinder away at Spurs early in the season, then that was it. Couple of other suggestions

- Kenny Sansom
- Glenn Keeley
- Norman Whiteside

Great article - well done

Trevor Thompson
17 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:06:58
You guy, stop! What a depressing list. I can't believe we had so many shite players during those austere years (mostly under Walter Smith). The only player that I thought might have been good was Vinnie Samways (I know, I know how naif) but he turned out to be crap...actually, I did think Bakayoko was going to be truly tremendous but that never materialised, either.

PS. Stefan Rehn turned out to be quite good once he left us.

PPS. Anyone remember Ray Atteveld? I barely can.

Craig Walker
18 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:15:11
Stephen Hughes
Paul Ferry
19 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:06:15
IÂ’m crying as I write this. This baffling bunch have brought me out in sweats and rashes. WTF were we thinking?

J. Kearton
E. Barrett
M. Hottiger
G. Keeley
C. Tiler
S. Rehn
P. Degn
K. Langley
B. Angell
I. Marshall
C. Thompson

Subs: not to be used in any circumstances, even if five of the above het red cards.

D. Brand
A. Cleland
P. Koldrop
I. Tal
M. Ward
N. Alexanderson
R. Belfitt
J. Spencer

M. Walker

Assistant Manager
W. Smith

David Hallwood
20 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:13:57
LetÂ’s face it, we could have a 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc etc of Crap players; my all time favourite is Claus Thomsen, a great all-rounder; he could, shoot, pass, head, defend, attack and slow as a snail. he must have had the negatives of the office party.
Craig Walker
21 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:18:20
Simon Davies
Tony Kelly
22 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:04:05
My all time Bums 11 is as follows in a 442 formation.
Dai Davies.
Marc Hottiger.
Per Krøldrup.
Glen Keeley.
David Burrows.
John Spencer.
Claus Thomsen.
Stefan Rehn.
Niklas Alexandersson.
Bernie Wright.
Rod Belfitt.
Subs: Richard Wright, Tony Thomas, Brett Angell, Terry Phelan, Carl Tiler, Magaye Gueye, John O'Kane, Mike Milligan.

What a gang of beauts.

Craig Walker
23 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:19:18
Richard Wright
Craig Walker
24 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:21:43
Mitch Ward
Lee Courtliff
25 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:22:13
Does anyone else remember Jon O'Connor ?

Came through the ranks and made 3 successive starts under Royle back in '96.

He was actually a CB but played RB due to injuries.

He looked superb. Very cultured. Then he just disappeared.

Not sure what happened but he drifted out of the game.

BtW , Spencer was actually signed by Kendall.

Gary Russell
26 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:25:41
Alan McGuffog
27 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:20:46
Dave and Ray

I can still see that goal. Ball played out to the left going into Gwladys, corner of the area, and he hit it first time (not sure which foot) past the great Ron Springett into the opposite top corner. Went like shit off a hot shovel, as Kenneth Wolstenholme used to say.

Only surpassed, for me, by Fargas (?) for Hungary against Brasil in 1966.

Chris... cracking looping header Madar scored against Blackburn.

Gary Russell
28 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:26:38
I can't remember.....
Stephen Brown
29 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:39:55
Sub keeper - Gerry Peyton
Stephen Brown
30 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:40:58
Or Jason Kearton or Mike Stowell
Barry Stevens
31 Posted 15/08/2014 at 17:43:26
Ibrahim Said, Antolin Perrilon, Cody Arnox, Paul Holmes, Iain Jenkins, Neil Moore,

Agree with most of the names mentioned but have to defend Mikel Madar and Ian Wilson.
Mad Mickey I always thought was ok. Scored a couple on his debut, and I remember a cracker vs Blackburn I think. He was just mental, which was his downfall. Wilson scored 1 of the best goals I've ever seen at Goodison vs Derby in an end of season encounter. Down by corner flag, flicked the ball over his shoulder and volleyed into the oppisite top corner. Thats how I remember it anyway. Was about 10 at the time.

Paul Hewitt
32 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:04:46
Biggest waste of money ever must be Mr Claus Thomson signed from Ipswich on 㾶,000 a week a lot back then.
Ray Roche
33 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:04:43
"Was about 10 at the time"....and overdosed on Sunnydelight....

Some of the names here will keep me awake tonight, in a cold sweat with eyes as big as fried eggs.

Robert Elliott
34 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:07:57
Norman Whiteside's a bit harsh. Think he bagged something like 13 goals in his first season before injury finished him off at the age of 25. Massive shame. Fergie in his book had him down as one of the best players he ever saw but moved him on to break up the Robson-Whiteside-McGrath drinking group ruling Old Trafford at the time.

My own nominee for the forgotten XI? Phillipe Senderos! Any player who is not only crap but gives Iain Dowie a run in the looks stakes has no place in Everton blue!

Ray Said
36 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:45:06
Ibrahim Said. Same surname as me and I was about to proclaim him to every girl in town as my cousin....then I saw him play.
Ged Simpson
37 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:50:49
They'd all be brill under Martinez!

OK... I'm excited pre season

Sue Brown
38 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:55:06
Is it too soon to add Robles name to this list? I break out in a cold sweat just seeing his name on the team sheet!!
Ian Bennett
39 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:56:38
Nick Barmby, spit.
any Walter signing.
Danny Williamson.

Sam Morrison
40 Posted 15/08/2014 at 19:03:36
Simon Davies - as crap in an Everton shirt as he was good in a Tottenham one.
Santosh Benjamin
41 Posted 15/08/2014 at 18:51:03
Espen Baardsen always stands out in my mind when I think of terrible games. Think we were playing Spurs and I took one look at Baardsen and decided that he would do well on the day....couldnt have been further from the truth - he let in 4 goals and was never seen again.
Trevor Thompson
42 Posted 15/08/2014 at 19:05:37
Michael Branch.
Spragg Johnson
43 Posted 15/08/2014 at 19:35:50
Idan Tal anyone?
Richard Nelson
44 Posted 15/08/2014 at 19:57:54
Who was that right back they had from Tranmere?
Phil Walling
45 Posted 15/08/2014 at 20:13:28
Think Gueye, Robles and Kone deserve a mention.
Richard Nelson
46 Posted 15/08/2014 at 20:22:02
Nobody's mentioned Vellios!
Dave Abrahams
47 Posted 15/08/2014 at 20:21:36
Ray Roche, sorry just got in, yes that was the goal, I think the ball got lodged the back of the net and one the net supports. Gerry was the stepson of Jack Humphries who played for Everton in the ’40s and ’50s.
Dave Abrahams
48 Posted 15/08/2014 at 20:33:30
No-one has mentioned Gareth Farrelly, signed by Howard Kendall; I think he signed him in Yates Wine Lodge just after the towel had gone on.
Dave Abrahams
50 Posted 15/08/2014 at 21:09:36
I have posted three notes in the last half an hour I,m still waiting for them to come up.
Johnny Rainford
51 Posted 15/08/2014 at 21:02:11
Tony #6. Thought it was just me, mate. This was Harvey's first signing, and as crap-signings go, it was a portent. Kendall had left a month earlier and I knew it spelled the end of our great 80s team.

We should have been signing Hullit or Van Basten FFS. The other clubs of the day saw it as a measure of our "ambition" and its fair to say we've never recovered.

Only time I saw him play was in the 89 cup final as a sub. Bet the RS were shitting themselves.

Ray Robinson
52 Posted 15/08/2014 at 21:23:41
Dave @14, I remember that goal. It was a rising shot into the Gwladys St End in a 3-0 win against Sheffield Wednesday in 1968, Thought I was the only one who ever remembered it, as it's never spoken about - but definitely one of the sweetest struck, long-distance shots that I've ever seen in 53 years of visiting Goodison.

Thanks for reminding me that it wasn't a figment of my imagination!

Peter Bell
53 Posted 15/08/2014 at 21:29:05
Kevin McLoud.
Dave Abrahams
54 Posted 15/08/2014 at 21:30:48
Going for a bevy, see you tomorrow.

Goodnight, God Bless.

Micky Norman
55 Posted 15/08/2014 at 21:32:48
Definitely not in the crap department but didn't we have Pat Jennings for a week as cover for Big Nev in Cup Final week?
Colin Gee
56 Posted 15/08/2014 at 21:36:58
Kevin Langley, round about 1986(?) signed from Wigan, played about 10 games then went back to Wigan at the end of the season.

Warren Aspinall, another one from Wigan, played about 5 games before we sold him to Aston Villa I think.

Possibly two of the worst signings, however nothing will beat Brett Angell.

Denver Daniels
57 Posted 15/08/2014 at 22:08:29
Eddie Bosnar and Lucas Neill.........both Aussies
Seb Niemand
58 Posted 15/08/2014 at 22:13:38
Alex Nyarko was, without a doubt, the worst player (in terms of skill and attitude) I have ever seen in an Everton shirt. That makes him, f or me, uniquely and unfortunately Unforgotten!
Danny Broderick
59 Posted 15/08/2014 at 22:14:58
Kenny Samson played a few games for us under Kendall Mk II. Shortly before he was diagnosed as an alcoholic and later went on to be sleeping rough!
Stephen Brown
60 Posted 15/08/2014 at 22:42:30
5 a side expert Preki
Dave Kelly
61 Posted 15/08/2014 at 22:46:10
This set me thinking. Which of these two ex-Everton squads would fare best - assuming they were all at their career best and peak fitness?

Squad A: Howard; Alexandersson, Le WeiFeng, Yobo, Sansom; Donovan, Li Tie, Rooney, Kilbane; Max-Moore, McBride.
Subs: Southall, Heitinga, Dunne, Speed, Lineker, Linderoth

Squad B: Mimms; Snodin, Distin, Hurst, Pistone; King, Kendall, Arteta, Morrisey; Campbell, Heath.
Subs: Rankin, Kenyon, Lyons, Grant, Husband, Rideout.

I actually favour squad B. However, squad A won no less than a total of 1,657 full international caps between them! Squad B... not a single cap !

Funny old game, eh?...

Michael Kenrick
62 Posted 15/08/2014 at 23:28:34
Dave (#61),

"... ex-Everton..."

Howard & Distin?

Do you know something we don't?

Dave Kelly
63 Posted 15/08/2014 at 23:36:54
Haha you're sharp for this time of night, Michael! A combination of too much wine and the shock of young Ross's injury got to me, I confess!
Nigel Gregson
64 Posted 16/08/2014 at 00:15:33
No mention of Andy van der Meyde?

Or that git Royston Drenthe?

Gavin Ramejkis
65 Posted 16/08/2014 at 01:34:08
Scott Gemmill has to get a mention, his dad must have cringed and looked at his milkman when he saw him play, I remember him running away from the ball a few times at Goodison.

So many crap players over the years many mentioned above... Dai Davies, the psycho keeper from my childhood, used to cringe whenever he went one-on-one with a player.

Gareth Farrelly was that crap he couldn't even get a game before Andy Townsend when he was all but retired. His one moment of glory was that goal that kept us up.

Danny Kewley
66 Posted 16/08/2014 at 01:53:20
Mo Johnston stands out for me! One lazy sod; I remember taking a close look at him during a match, I can’t for the life of me remember who against! All he did was bluff his way through the game waving his arms around and shouting at no-one in particular and hardly got involved!

No doubt he must have been half-decent for Celtic/Rangers but not for the Toffees.

Danny Kewley
67 Posted 16/08/2014 at 02:16:20
Alan Biley was not a legend.
Tony Rice
68 Posted 16/08/2014 at 06:15:51
Phil Traynor
69 Posted 16/08/2014 at 08:08:16
Paul Gascoigne & David Ginola
Matt Traynor
70 Posted 16/08/2014 at 08:20:26
Yeah, just the thread we need at the start of a new season...

A few observations:
The Aussies - Eddie Bosnar never actually kicked a ball for the 1st team? And Lucas Neill wasn't a bad player - we signed him on a free, and basically cashed in on him within 6 months.

Norman Whiteside - was fucked when we signed him. But in that 1 full season he played, he was joint top scorer with 14 goals Next season he only managed 1 appearance before packing up.

Mik Madar - like one of the posters above. Can't hate on him. He scored some good goals, particularly away from home, but missing an open goal at Anfield (when Paul Ince equalised in what felt like 30 seconds after) did for him.

Ian Wilson - the Daily Star described him as our Scottish Midfield Trickster... Seemed a nice guy. Actually signed my programme when I was outside the players entrance waiting for someone. I wasn't actually looking for autographs at the time either...

Dave Abrahams
71 Posted 16/08/2014 at 09:16:29
As an aside, Pat Jennings must be the best Everton player who never turned out for us.
Kevin Naylor
72 Posted 16/08/2014 at 09:30:53
One shocking omission, was to be the next Ryan Giggs, I give you John Oster.
Stephen Brown
73 Posted 16/08/2014 at 10:06:00
A great side but shite for us !?
Bilic matterazzi Ferrari Sansom
Ginola Gazza Whiteside(?) Blomquist
Mark Hughes Mo Johnston
Brian Denton
74 Posted 16/08/2014 at 12:27:19
Kevin Langley got a Championship winners medal, didn't he? He laid on a great goal for Adrian Heath in a Sunday game against Man U, if I remember correctly.

Re that Gerry Humphries goal - I don't remember it, which surprises me as I was going to a lot of games then aged 9-10. I do remember John Hurst scoring against [Chelsea?] in a night game around that time. I was by the Cage and he scored from the Bullens Road side, but it seemed to me that he was only just past the half-way line.

Can anyone recall that?

Peter Bell
75 Posted 16/08/2014 at 12:46:57
The ex Tranmere right back was Tony Thomas
John Scott
76 Posted 16/08/2014 at 14:40:09
As a Scotsman can I ask you to remember Alec Cleland, John Collins (good player but not at Everton), Scot Gemmill and Joe Harper.
Neil Quinn
77 Posted 17/08/2014 at 08:18:43
Some shocking centre forwards in these posts. My worst are Rod Belfitt, signed to replace a young David Johnson who we offloaded to Ipswich, following some alleged misdemeanours.

Mick Ferguson, one of Kendall's first signings. A lumbering ox of a No 9 who could trap a ball further than I could kick it.

Alan Biley. We all thought we had a new hero after he scored with an audacious lob on his début. Think he scored one more goal & then disappeared into oblivion.

Sam Higgins
78 Posted 17/08/2014 at 12:12:12
Dixie Dean.
Jason Heng
79 Posted 17/08/2014 at 17:30:38
Neil McDonald who was signed to replace Gary Stevens.

Stuart Barlow, he worked previously in the butchers didnÂ’t he?

Dave Williams
80 Posted 17/08/2014 at 20:10:30
Mark Pembridge, Dave Lawson, Terry Darracott, John McLaughlin, Mark Hottiger, David Irving, Bilyaletdinov, Gary Naysmith, Drew Brand, Carl Tiler...
Peter Jamieson
81 Posted 17/08/2014 at 21:25:01
David Johnson - second time around after he'd been with the RS.

Mickey Thomas

Peter Howard
82 Posted 18/08/2014 at 11:03:06

I really taxed my brain on that!

Tom Loudon
83 Posted 18/08/2014 at 11:58:27
Not the paciest wingmen, and not too many goals in this team, but such nostalgia:

Gerry Peyton
Paul Holmes
Phillippe Senderos
Carl Tiler
Terry Phelan
Mitch Ward
Tony Grant
Mike Milligan
David Burrows
Nick Chadwick
Phil Jevons

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