The big six, my arse

by   |   06/02/2018  34 Comments  [Jump to last]

I’ve kept my pencil dry on here for far too long now. It’s time to tell it as it is from one who has supported The Toffees since 1967.

My brothers love to remind me that I got a Redshite kit for Chanukah (Jewish Christmas) in 1966 just after my fifth birthday but switched to The Blues less than a year later and have never wavered since. So, bang goes your ‘born a blue’ notion. Anyway, that’s another issue and although it was a stupid decision at such a tender age it was one I’ve never regretted. All the nice girls at primary school supported Everton and all the annoying boys were Reds.

Over the years I’ve seen some bloody awful teams, and some appalling managers. I went to school with Gordon Lee’s poor son. Funny that he was better at rugby union than footy I always thought. Managers like Billy (“speak up Billy” the interviewers on BBC Radio Merseyside always used to say) Bingham, Mike Walker and Walter Smith.

I witnessed us win the league in 1970, 1985 and 1987. I’ve seen us win the cup in 1984 and 1995 and I was in Rotterdam when we beat Rapid Vienna in 1985 where my dad got covered in beer when the third goal went in. The next morning, I actually saw men asleep standing up in phone boxes.

I remember that bastard Clive Thomas (ask your dad) rob us against the redshite. He was one of many referees who stole matches from us over the years but he was the first I remember and I guess that’s why they call us “bitter” as no self-respecting Bluenose would scribe an article like this without bringing up those bastard referees!!

Thomas deprived us of a legit Bryan Hamilton goal in the FA Cup semi in 1977. A few weeks earlier we’d got to Wembley in the League Cup Final and it was 0-0. We went on to lose to Villa in the second replay. For the trip to Wembley we’d left our house in Allerton at 6am. My dad was worried about the traffic. At 9am, six hours before kick off we were sitting in the car in the car park at Wembley where we sat for the next 4½ hours. We weren’t allowed to leave the car in case we got murdered by cockneys!

My most vivid memory from the 1980s was when we lost the second leg of The Milk Cup semi away at Aston Villa 1-0. We’d actually won the first leg 2-0 the week before at Goodison. This meant we were in with the chance of winning something for the first time in 14 years. It was also sweet revenge for Villa having beaten us seven years earlier in the final. Think about that youngsters! 14 years. I ran on the pitch at the end only to be hauled off by a copper. “14 years” I shouted in his face!! As usual we lost to the redshite in the final as we always did and we always will whenever it really counts.

Of course, I was at Wembley to see the first leg end 0-0. The replay was at Maine Road and I was a student at The University of Essex. I watched the replay on the portable colour telly (still unusual in those days – colour telly I mean, not unusually portable.) Ask your dad again, or mum for that matter. We lost 1-0 and I cried myself to sleep.

So many memories from so long ago and only a few of them are captured here. These days I can’t even remember what I had for my tea last night.

Right now, I hate Everton, I hate professional football and I hate the Premier League. I still play three times a week which includes playing left back for our local veterans Sunday 11-a-side team in the Mid Herts Vets League. I’d rather play than watch Everton any day of the week. Those bastards stealing a living in the royal blue tops make me puke. I despise them with a passion.

The media bang on about ‘The Big Six’ but it should be “The Big Seven” because time and again we’ve blown it. That bastard Kenwright who lies incessantly about remortgaging his house to save his beloved Blues drives me insane. This is the twat who turned down the Mansours who went on to buy Citeh, because he thought he could do a better job. Please bugger off Kenwright. The continued shite we spout about the new stadium just to lure idiots into buying season tickets is one of the worst crimes of the lot. Read my lips, there will be no new stadium!

What is the point of us being in the Premier League? What joy does it give anyone? They don’t care about the supporters and it’s only ever about money. What are we doing with Allardyce as our manager? He’s useless. I’m a lover not a fighter but he deserves to be removed from our club with a baseball but up his arse.

Apart from the big six and us, every club in the top flight is a championship club. It would be so much more enjoyable for us playing at a lower level. We shouldn’t bother playing against the big six. Don’t tell me about our amazing point at Citeh this year or I’ll make you watch us play away at Arsenal for the next fifty years.

I’m sick of Everton and our continued inability to capitalise on everything that comes our way. I get more joy out of watching Liverpool lose than when we win these days. I’ve even given that feeling a name - redshitenfreude.

So, I’m out. At least until we get relegated. Hopefully soon. Football is about the joy of winning matches and it just doesn’t do it for me beating Leicester City 2-1 (we were lucky) only to do what we did at The Emirates a few days later.

So, after 51 years of undying love, you can fuck off Everton. You make me sick.

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Reader Comments (34)

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Kevin Tully
1 Posted 07/02/2018 at 17:42:45
Chuckling at you last line there, David. Uttered those words many a time when leaving before the boos rang out. The trouble is though, we are all "Everton crack addicts" mate. We just can't give them up!
Jay Woods

2 Posted 07/02/2018 at 17:48:17
I had my da say the same almost every weekend throughout my entire life, up until a few years ago.

Only it was Man City, not Everton.

"I'm finished with City. No more football. I'm going to start supporting Chelsea..." etc.

And then it all changed.

Alasdair Mackay
3 Posted 07/02/2018 at 18:03:06
I wish I could walk away, but I can't.

I keep promising the wife that I am done this season and we can do something together on a game-day, but at 2.55pm on the Saturday (or whenever) it sucks me back in.

Ray Robinson
4 Posted 07/02/2018 at 18:08:58
You clearly do still care David! I've been supporting Everton even longer than you and I have to say that playing in the Championship would break my heart, so, whilst I understand your frustration, I can't agree with the "better off relegated" sentiment.
Stan Schofield
5 Posted 07/02/2018 at 19:31:41
Your last line is spot on, with 56 years for me. But you know it's bullshit. It's not a choice, and more often than not it's a curse. But there we have it. It's in your blood as they say.

The only positive thing I can say is, if and when we finally do make it big again, the shite years will make it all the sweeter, as it has done for City supporters.

Paul Ellam
6 Posted 07/02/2018 at 19:43:58
Keep the faith - our time will come again.
I'm just hoping another club doesn't ruin it for us like the mid 80s.
Darren Hind
7 Posted 07/02/2018 at 19:47:28
"Just when I thought I was out . They pulled me back in"

Sorry David. I really do get where your coming from, but you're going nowhere. This club is like the hotel California.

You can check out any time you like . . .

John McFarlane
8 Posted 07/02/2018 at 19:58:59
Hi David, you're obviously frustrated, and seemingly looking for a reaction, well here's mine for what it's worth.

Now in my 80th year and having been attending Goodison Park, for 70 of those years. I have [many times] been frustrated, and even experienced the agony of relegation, but unlike yourself I have never hated Everton, or uttered those words, "That's it, I'm finished with Everton!"

I would hope that you are a man of your word, and that your threat to return when Everton are relegated never materialises. What's that phrase again? "Who needs friends like you" etc?

Dave Abrahams
9 Posted 07/02/2018 at 20:10:33
David keep on playing football for as long as you can, as long as you enjoy it, terrible when you can't play anymore.

As for Everton David, you are in, you can't leave, like the Mafia used to be, before Vallechi turned Turk and was followed by dozens more.

John G Davies
10 Posted 07/02/2018 at 20:45:51


John Keating
11 Posted 07/02/2018 at 21:22:48
David well I go back a bit longer than you unfortunately and like you seen good bad and absolute crap.

Sometimes I wish I could have walked away but it's not possible I'm afraid.

Far easier getting rid of the missus that this lot. You can get a new woman but not a new team. Life can be hard.

Rob Halligan
12 Posted 07/02/2018 at 21:40:36
David, it's a drug. Everyone is totally addicted to it. It's something that you cannot give up. You might as well just face up to the fact that you are hooked for life.
John G Davies
13 Posted 07/02/2018 at 21:58:15
Carragher can, Rob. And his dad.

They both easily give it up and turned into Liverpudlians.

Rob Halligan
14 Posted 07/02/2018 at 22:01:14
Yeah, but he was just a gobshite, John.
Clive Rogers
15 Posted 08/02/2018 at 09:46:40
We will never become big again as long as Kenwright is chairman. David mentioned the Mansour episode, but not the King's Dock one where he put himself before the club.
Michael Lynch
16 Posted 08/02/2018 at 10:56:15
Great article, very funny and very true, but most importantly....

Did you say you were a left-back???

John G Davies
17 Posted 08/02/2018 at 11:21:58
True Rob. Very true.
Winston Williamson
18 Posted 08/02/2018 at 11:32:18
Kenwright is what, 70 or 71? He cannot possibly carry on forever??? He's probably in the process of having his consciousness transferred into a computer so he can rule EFC (remotely) for the next 500 years!

I agree with the above comments – I've recently said I cannot continue watching this shite! I've even planned trips with the Mrs so as to avoid the football -– yet I'm on the phone checking the score or logging into the Live Forum to get the fans feel for the game!

Is ToffeeWeb the EFC-anonymous for Everton-related addiction??

John G Davies
19 Posted 08/02/2018 at 15:22:45
Kenwright is what, 70 or 71? He cannot possibly carry on forever???

Dont put your last £1 on that Winston.

Paul McCoy
20 Posted 08/02/2018 at 15:38:07
I've been fine this season, mostly because once Allardyce took over I simply stopped watching the games. Occasionally I'll watch the highlights if we've won, but for the most part I just look at the score, browse ToffeeWeb a couple of times a week and just get on with my life.

Fat Sam has killed what little enthusiasm I had left for professional football.

Jay Harris
21 Posted 08/02/2018 at 15:48:06

I've been following the Blues a bit longer than you but at least we have seen quite a few trophies in the bag.

I feel more sorry for all the young kids who have never experienced the joy of winning a major trophy(or any for that matter) and who take a ribbing from the RS kids at school every day.

I have always maintained an unhealthy dislike for Kenwright who IMO is the biggest phoney ever to set foot in the corridors of Goodison Park and has overseen the leanest spell in EFC history.

As soon as he comes under pressure he will lie his way out to sympathy with a convenient occurrence.

"The money is ring-fenced."
"Fortress Sports Fund check will be in the bank in the morning."
"I would not sell Rooney for £50M."
"Manny Fernandes will be signing tomorrow."
"Goodison Park will fail its safety certificate so we have to move to Destination Kirkby."
"I have four or five prospective buyers calling me every week."
"I am the best salesman for EFC." etc, etc.

And the supposed illness and miraculous recovery when Moshiri bought some of his shares but based on the condition he remained chairman.

I will always remember his legacy in one of his famous promises "Watch this space".

Well we're still watching Bill.

Shane Corcoran
22 Posted 08/02/2018 at 15:53:03
That was fucking hilarious.

I can picture you alone at the bar with the bar man trying to keep a straight face. Like Henry Sellers on Father Ted Link

David Tasker
23 Posted 08/02/2018 at 17:12:21
I thoroughly appreciate the supportive comments. Clearly this forum is read by those of a certain age and with the ability to string more than two words together. Whenever I've expressed these sentiments on twitter as @theevertonbeaky, I'm met with a volley of foul-mouthed abuse.
Michael Kenrick
24 Posted 08/02/2018 at 17:35:36
Maybe it is an age thing, Dave, or some have mastered how to filter out the garbage on Twitter. I can't stand the retweeting which seems utterly banal.

And the other key difference, Dave, is that it is open to all and sundry including the kopite gobshites. Maybe we've created a "bubble" here but you have a captive audience of (mostly) Blue readers.

It's a pity you feel the need to be so forthright about the new stadium not happening. Presumably it's a form of protection against future disappointment, but I'm not sure I really understand why some Blues feel the need to make this prediction when the signs continue to be generally positive. Kudos in the future "I told you so" stakes, perhaps?

That's a pretty sad indictment, but then so is saying you're out. No-one likes a quitter.

Mike Kehoe
25 Posted 08/02/2018 at 19:58:58
I was a kid and for years thought his name was Clive fucking Thomas
John Munro
26 Posted 09/02/2018 at 14:47:43
The book "Ustinov, Hitler, Everton and me" has a story in it called "Zen and the Art of Supporting Everton" and it's why you shouldn't give in, Dave. I've been going since 1955 and feel exactly as you do!

"Redshitefreude" has got to be this year's new word – brilliant!
Terry Underwood
28 Posted 10/02/2018 at 14:38:01
My name is Terry and I am a Blue.

It has been a week since I last said "For fuck's sake, Everton!"

I need help.

Stephen Graham
29 Posted 12/02/2018 at 21:58:42
You say you're a left back, David? Bring your kit next game.

Mazel tov!

Henry Lloyd
30 Posted 13/02/2018 at 04:03:32
Dear Dave Tasker,

What a great read that was and your memories are just like mine although I am slightly younger than you. I feel your pain my friend I really do and you articulated your anger in a very refreshing way and there is nothing I can say to disagree with the majority of what you said.

What I will say is keep the faith! 'The Glory Days' will return. It's only a matter of time and more importantly nowadays money. We have had some real bad luck with all the signings and not one of them can really disagree that they are shite...!!

But remember what happened in Howard Kendall's first Spell?? It all changed virtually overnight! If it was not for the RS we would have won the European Cup at least twice!! We will rise again and this time we wont get Banned from anywhere. COYB.

Pete Clarke
31 Posted 13/02/2018 at 05:34:54
I live in Australia and got back yesterday from England after going over for my dad's 90th.

Went to the game on Saturday for my first in a few years and we are just a very average team to say the least. The win and a few beers with the boys left me with happy memories for the time being but apart from Davies, Sigurdsson, Coleman, Walcott (maybe Rooney) and a few other youngsters then we are going nowhere fast.

It makes it a bit easier to accept being this far away and I really feel for all the lads who stick with them, year after year. I am not sure if I would have done so as the likes of Kenwright would have made me commit some crime by now with all of his lies and deceit for us fans. Also, this manager we have now has taken us down a couple of levels again which suggests the new guy in charge doesn't understand the supporters either.

I am sure there are some supporters of Leeds, Villa, Forrest, Derby etc that can tell you what it feels like to really go down the pan.

All the best.

Mike Prendergast
32 Posted 13/02/2018 at 06:52:45
David. If it was only that easy to walk away. This self-exiled Blue living on a tiny rock in the West Indies, feels your pain. The fact everybody thinks Everton Mike is my given name proves regardless what I might say.

Very next game, it's starts again.

Dermot Byrne
33 Posted 13/02/2018 at 07:06:37
I posted similar views about the Premier League not so long ago.

As for the Blues... it is easy to give them up. I do it weekly.

Dave Speed
34 Posted 20/02/2018 at 21:02:40
David – I agree with a lot of what you say except "Fuck off, Everton". I feel like reporting you for a hate crime. If you were "born a blue", you might find that harder to say.

Perhaps you could become a "born again Evertonian" when it all turns around for us again, which it will?

John Kneale
35 Posted 22/02/2018 at 10:21:41
Hi David,

Hilarious, and so sad. I wasn't born a blue either, but was hooked in late fifties (2nd Division). Being a blue isn't easy and despair is never far away. I bore people with tales of glory, and never admit I've been thrown out by the scuffers for attempting to get at Norman Hunter. Nor do I mention being nicked at the Boleyn.

Don't let the club crooks and charlatans drive you away. Despite my despair, I still cling to the hope that the joy that Everton success brings will come again before I die. And that Liverpool FC will win nothing ever.

Regards, and hope the loft goes well.

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