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Steve Ferns
1 Posted 05/12/2019 at 17:39:53
Dave, that was brilliant. Appreciate the effort you spent on that, the humour and the message is spot on.
Jay Wood

2 Posted 05/12/2019 at 17:47:18
Top drawer, Dave.

Anything to alleviate the tedium of the Long Goodbye.

John Keating
3 Posted 05/12/2019 at 18:58:33
Nice one Dave. Very apt

Like the young bird down the road. Heard she was good in the sack. Been around a bit. Had a fella in Hull and one down in Watford and been booted out by both lads.

You couldn't believe it. She's young, good looking in a latin type way and you can't wait to get to grips even though she's stringing you along a bit

Finally, after spending a few bob on her she moves in.
After a while you realise looks aren't everything. You completely understand why those two lads in Hull and Watford binned her.

You realise you've got to bin her quick before any little ones come along so finally you just tell her straight. It's not working she has to go.
Before she leaves though she wants a pay off. It's worth every penny in order to send her on her way.

You close the door, lean against it, bang your head on it and say " Fucking close call that !!!"
Reach for your phone, smile, chuckle even; open up Tinder and move on.

Alexander Murphy
4 Posted 05/12/2019 at 20:26:51
Bravo Dave.

Brilliant and accurate.

Tindr it is !

A few bevvies first tho with My good mate, Big feller from north of the border. He takes no shit.

Dave McDowell
5 Posted 06/12/2019 at 11:30:28
Many thanks guys, gallows humour seems to be the default on the roller coaster ride of supporting Everton.
Dave Evans
6 Posted 06/12/2019 at 13:11:35
Great read, Dave.

You must try not to be tempted by a mercenary in a red dress residing in the far east.

Jerome Shields
7 Posted 06/12/2019 at 16:33:10
Very Good Dave, I am sure many can relate to the story and absurdity of real life as it unfolds. Seems to parallel my relationship with Everton.
John Nugent
8 Posted 07/12/2019 at 10:42:19
The funniest and cleverest analogous article I've read on TW for years.

Thank you, Dave.

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