Let's Get It On

If it's at Goodison, if you haven?t got a season ticket, you have queued up for hours and spent nearly half a week's wages on your ticket. If it's at Anfield, you?ve been stalking the postman all week for that precious ticket.

If you don?t have reds in your family or worse in your house, you?ve probably been ?bittering? yourself up and shouting insults about that red shower all week. If you DO have reds in your family, like I do (my dad), you?ll go through a week of awkwardness and that look in your eyes that wants to come out on top. Best friends (My best mate included), Father, brother, it doesn?t matter ? this is one issue you can?t agree on, and one week you just won?t be comfortable around each other for.

One memory that springs to mind of how the derby is just more than a football match is this: I remember sitting at a derby game at Goodison, getting beat 3-0 after Kewell scored, with a young lad a few years older than me, early 20s, literally inconsolable and crying uncontrollably, admitably a bit forced by drink but not even a drunk cried that much. So I enquired ?Are you ok mate?? The answer? ?No lad, Thanks anyway, but I?m the baby of 6 of my brothers who I live with, all Liverpudlian, and when I get home they?ll all be sitting there in wait?. It really does mean that much to people; people get to the point of feeling uncomfortable with their own family.

The rivalry as everyone knows is intense. This is especially evident, if you live in Liverpool, so for this reason let's just cheekily surmise that Evertonians and not Liverpudlians know the meaning of the derby game better, because we only speak one language - it's not Brummy, it's not Norwegian, it's Scouse. In Liverpool we, and I myself, only have to walk around the corner to see a dad and son with conflicting team jerseys on, or (like me) go round the corner for an argument and some banter with a mate who supports ?the other? team. Naturally living here you come into contact with all this.

It's for this reason that, when Everton do lose, especially at Anfield, and I get some whopping Liverpool fan with a Brummy accent goading me with shouts of ?We beat ya, we beat ya!? I become angry, because what would this man know about a derby game, the whole baggage that goes with it through the whole week leading up to it? Nothing is in my opinion the only answer.

Your thoughts throughout the week are of course of only one thing. Winning. Being victorious. Getting one over on them. If it's away from home, watching the home fans silent and stunned also comes into that. You want your team at Anfield to give a good account of themselves, to show that they want it.

Nothing is more annoying, especially when you?ve gone through minute after minute of attending every game, to get and have the right to your precious Anfield Derby ticket, to see an Everton side put out 4-5-1. Appear all too cautious and de-motivated and reluctant to take the bull by the horns and create something for themselves rather than waiting for the that team in red to make a hash of things. I feel that Liverpool this time, with Mascherano suspended, are nowhere near as strong in midfield as usual, which gives us the temptation to go 4-4-2 and really get ?up em and at em? and shake them up. Silence the crowd, and let the Liverpool team not know what?s hit them.

I don?t just want to beat them this time, I want to bury them. I want David Moyes to show the who Liverpool FC establishment that he sees them as nothing to be scared of, nothing special, nothing enough to warrant special focus, and concentrate on showing what we can do. It's been 9 years and 5 visits to Anfield for me now since our last derby win, I?ve lost 4 (my first one was a loss- Dacourt goal, 40 seconds) and drew one, and I want it bad.

I want to put those pompous, over zealous and arrogant Liverpool fans ? many of whom still insist on ?emptying their lungs? spitting saliva from above in the direction of the away tier with 4 scarves wrapped round their necks even though its summer, unfamiliar accents and generally ?whopping? behaviour ? in there place. Bring them right back down to earth. They really do need a reality check after all, what was it at the start of the season ..."ey lad, werr gunna win darrrrrr la--eee-ga- yano" which went from delusion to desperation and a futile attempt to convince themselves that second best, despite it not being what they wanted, was good enough: "werr gunna win it 6 times baby yano cock" (wool accent obviously). Let us give ourselves a lot to shout about and them a big piece of humble pie.

So, because of this, I urge David Moyes, please, Sir, give it a REAL go. I beg you. Be bold. Let's get at them and hurt them, worry about ourselves and don?t worry about them. Watching a derby game is unbearable enough without having to watch endless surges of a Liverpool attack which gives you the horrible sickly ?edgy? feeling that the worst is about to happen. Derby games are hard games to watch anyway, even THINKING about watching them gives you an unpleasant tingle, this feeling usually comes an hour before kick off with all the Everton boys congregated together in the pub, nervously necking a rather strangely unsatisfying pint before they all join themselves in the fateful walk through Stanley Park, past all that shower's coaches that go round the corner with company?s spanning Crewe to Dover supporters clubs like its some sort of away game, not a home match for them, until you finally all end up together at ?that place? where Duncan?s pigeons apparently still defecate over to this day.

You?ll get in and the bitterness really sets n. You won?t buy a pie, a programme or anything that goes towards that sodding club. It's usually at this point I get annoyed - not just at seeing a host of Liverpool fans who think their ?top notch? just because they have a load of scarves, badges and hats and general fancy dress clad all over them, jeering you despite the thought that going to away games and not dressing like a loon is what makes a good fan having never crossed our minds.

What also comes to my attention is the various flags from our fans, my team, Everton, directed towards our unwanted Liverpool cousins. Again, I will plead to people's better judgement here. PLEASE ONLY bring banners that are relevant to Everton. We're good enough without having to mention them or wave American flags or throw Tesco bags round or parade ?Oe City One Club' banners (wish pro-Kirby voters had seen that, but hey, I don?t know any who bother with away matches) like they do.

Knock it all in the head, display something to do with the vastly improving team we have now or from the past about our glorious history. That way, we?ll do ourselves proud, especially if we manage to marry together the practice of all standing up generating a good atmosphere and lots of chants whilst also managing to watch the game instead of sitting there like a theatre-watching audience and getting laughed at by our foes.

A lot lies on the outcome of Sunday, my first away derby win for example (just kidding). Advantage Everton if we win and get in 4th place. Also, a lot can be gained, so instead of hoping Liverpool hand it to us, let's go ahead and grab the opportunity and actually take on Liverpool themselves with both hands and knock them for six. Nil Satis... COYB!!!!!!!!

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