Rantings of a frustrated football fan

I?m heavily involved with a team of my own - I?m the manager. We?ve got a good squad made up of a number of different individuals who all combine to create a whole, bigger than the sum of its parts. We?re short of a few squad members though, which makes life tough sometimes ? we all have to play different positions occasionally, be flexible in our approach. The most important thing is that everyone works for each other ? we know that?s the way we all win the prizes on offer.

Our season finishes at the end of April. We?ve outperformed this year ? the goals we were set seemed completely unobtainable at the beginning, but through some brilliant decision-making, sheer hard work and a fairly large slice of luck, we?re in a superb position to make this season the most memorable we?ve ever had.

We?ll all earn good money this year - some would say that we earn more than we deserve and at times it?s hard to disagree. But, that?s the going rate ? we could all earn more money at bigger teams but we?re in a very competitive environment and we think our team is capable of reaching the heights of the big 4 ? sometimes its better being in a small, committed group who are on the up.

Does this sound a little like our beloved Everton? I hope you think so.

So, why you may be asking, am I waffling on about my own sporting prowess? Well, those that know me reading this will know that I have nothing to do with football ? or any sport actually.

My team is actually a bunch of highly committed, very well paid IT professionals who work their arses off day in, day out for our company (with a bunch of American owners who drive us up the wall sometimes ? hey, even that sounds familiar, doesn?t it!). Five of us cover a region that stretches from the UK in the West to the far reaches of Russia in the East; from Finland in the North to South Africa in the South and also takes in the extreme temperatures and culture shock of the Middle East.

Our season does indeed end on April 30th ? that?s our end of year. Unfortunately, for anyone who works in a Sales environment, you will all know full well that the new season starts on May 1st. For us, there is no 10-12 week summer holiday, no pre-season tour of the US (actually, that?s not strictly true ? for hitting our sales target we get to spend a jet-lagged 5 day holiday with our colleagues on a beach in the Caribbean ? we?re not complaining).

We spend our lives on a plane, always down the back in the cheap seats, rather than the luxuries of First Class or even a privately chartered jet. We get off the other end, find a taxi to another unremarkable hotel or office block and have to perform in front of customers and prospects straight from the airport. If we fail ? if we don?t win the deal, then questions get asked. And you don?t want your America owners asking questions too often because very quickly the answer comes in the shape of a P45.

We frequently work 6 days a week - we frequently work 12 hour days. Take Monday this week, for example. I?ll be up at 6:00am for a conference call with a prospect in Kuwait then on the train for a meeting in London at 12:00. I?ll be lucky to be home before 5:00pm (11 hours after I started work) and will then have to start on my day?s work ? all the emails and calls that have built up during the day whilst I?ve been on the road.

Do you give a damn? I hope not. It?s my choice to do this and I absolutely love it. I love it nearly as much as I love Everton. Which makes the time and money I spent at Birmingham on Saturday all the more frigging frustrating.

You see, all the crap excuses about being physically and mentally tired, of it having been a long season, of all the games we?ve had to play, all the squad not being big enough for the challenge of the Premiership and Europe etc etc etc ? I?m sorry, they don?t wash with me.

I do my job for the money, for the prizes, for the challenge of being the best at what we do (which, as it happens, most of our competitors think we are), for the camaraderie, for lots of other reasons. Sometimes I moan about it because its hard work, tiring physically and mentally (try being coherent in front of a customer who you hope will part with half a million dollars of his money when you?ve just walked straight off a sleepless, uncomfortable, overnight 12 hour flight to South Africa!) ? But the one thing I can guarantee you is that I will always give 100%, always give my best.

I wish I could say the same about the load of shite I had to suffer on Saturday afternoon at St. Andrews ? which incidentally was pretty much the same load of shite I suffered at Fulham 4 weeks ago. If my level of performance was as up and down as Everton?s has been this calendar year, then I?d be out of job. If I played as badly as most of the 12 outfield players in the Royal Blue on Saturday, then no-one else would want to employ me either.

But I?m not a poor, cosseted over-paid footballer who can play brilliantly one week and then appear to be completely disinterested the next. I?m not the guy who has every move of my working life planned out for me, who turns up for work for a couple of hours each weekday and then for a couple of hours again at the weekend. I?m not the guy who earns so much money that I don?t know what to do with it apart from spend it on gambling, alcohol or drugs.

But it?s not just the players who I blame. As I mentioned earlier (if you can remember that far back!), any good team is bigger than the sum of its parts. You see, the problem at Everton at the moment is that no-one is performing; everyone has got their eyes on that Caribbean holiday in May. How come it has been blindingly obvious to everyone watching us this season that Neville and Carsley can not play together in midfield? We?ve proved it on a number of occasions this year. So, in a game that we absolutely had to win, not only to try and put pressure on Liverpool for 4th place, but also to ensure we finish 5th, why did we stick with this formation pretty much all game? By half-time we had created nothing. No serious shots on goal, no corners, no incisive moves at all. The only option available to Moyes was to break up the Neville/Carsley axis of evil by introducing the Court Jester that is Thomas Gravesen. But what happened? Diddley squat ? until 3 minutes before the end when he was introduced and promptly showed why he should have been on at half-time by producing our best, in fact our only half-decent move of the game by playing a superb ball in behind the defence for Hibbert to cross.

Everyone at the club is guilty of this recent, appalling, apparent lack of commitment to the cause, from Bill Kenwright (as the man at the top of the tree, he holds ultimate responsibility in my business), down through Moyes for not being adventurous enough to the players who simply are not earning their money and haven?t been since the Fiorentina game. Actually, I absolve the tea-lady.

I?m beginning to fear that we won?t finish 5th. I can see Portsmouth pipping us for that place. As long as they win the FA Cup (and surely they will), then 6th will be good enough for a European place. Trouble is, we have to play Villa at the end of this month. Soccerbot (http://www.soccerbot.com/fa/tables/ukprem08.htm) is currently forecasting that Villa will finish 6 points behind us. However, they are forecasting that we will beat them on April 26th. If they beat us, then that?s a six point swing. That puts us on the same number of points. Our goal difference is +4 on them ? so if they win 2-0, then that goal difference has gone. The nightmare scenario for us this season could not be finishing 4th, not 5th or 6th but 7th with no European football next season except via the Intertoto.

That must not be allowed to happen.

I?ve rattled on long enough now (am I Colm Kavanagh in disguise, you may ask?) ? I?ve got a day job to attend to (and I need some sleep before that 6:00 call). I just wish that sometimes professional footballers showed the same level of commitment.

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