The Mail Bag
A crystal ball
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This time next year where will Everton be? Well, here's my prediction.
Kirkby will get the go ahead. BK will sell to a moderately rich investor and will remain as chairman. He will pocket a substantial amount and will tell us he had no choice and he has done what was necessary to keep the club afloat. The fan base will be more divided than ever and there will be a season ticket boycott.
On the pitch we'll miss out on Europe and Lescott will be gone.
Now, I don't want to sound like a totally miserable sod, so here's the good news. Saha will be the new Andy Gray. The Premier League bubble will have burst and we'll be one of the survivors. Finally, we will win a cup and it will be the sweetest ever.
Andy Crooks, Posted 17/09/2008 at 00:50:46
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Unfortunately I think you might be right there. As for the rest of your article...
Mist clears, followed by Kenwright sitting in a deckchair in his garden.
Suddenly a small hole open in the lawn.
He investigates and suddenly, the ground opens up and he falls through.
At first shaken, he dusts himself off, wipes his eyes and.....OH MY GOD!!
He can’t believe what he sees - a steel mine!
Not only that, but it’s a CHEAP steel mine.
Also there, covered in dust, an ancient document allowing planning permission to build houses on Bellefield "wifout need off ye consente off ye council off ye Pool off Liver"
(rolls eyes and shakes head, Private Frazer-style)
Remember them old laced leather balls ?
They weighed about two stone when they were full of water, fuck knows how much brain damage they’ve caused down the years, although judging by my mates . . . . .
If the lace hit you in the face when you headed it, it could scar you for life.
The strange this was, if ever anyone had one really hammered at his head, every one else would fall about laughing as the poor fucker staggered about
A bit like one of your posts, funny as fuck, if your not on the recieving end
Mad things ain’t they these crystal balls?
Saha is a class act and he must have convinced our medical team that he?ll get fit. Joleon Lescott is a prize asset but Man U seem to be able to take prize assets from whomever they like. We?re just about due a cup win and have the players ,when fit,to do it. Okay the premier bubble may not be burst in a years time but burst it must
Finally, Tom Edwards, believe me you would not want a pint of what I was on. 80% proof Austrian schnapps (apparently they do a 60% ladies version). It may well give amazing powers of foresight but,as I?ve learned today, it gives one bastard of a hangover.
you’ve finally entered the fantasy world of "Black Bill" who has been having the same "dreams" for the last 8 years.
Lescott stays, Torres leaves the RS for Man City.
Actually I cheated as I’d already seen the news - but nobody needed a crystal ball for these two, did they.
Just one question, what colour is the sky on your planet?
ps. I did enjoy the taking the piss outta Andy Gray though. Good one la.
All this will be answered in the next episode of Soap (anyone remember that ???)
More Crystal Meth than Ball I think.
The strangest thing was, her real hair is cut almost exactly the same way but...there’s very little of it.
(ie: scalp showing through in a mad, ’bit iffy’ sort of way - shudders recalling it)
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1 Posted 17/09/2008 at 07:18:41
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In these dreams of yours, how long does it take to get round Kirkby town hall on an open top bus as literally ... dozens - hundreds if they close the roads - of supporters celebrate the cup win?