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Vole-arr-AY, oh oh, ...
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Yep, 1958 Eurovision Song Contest winner - I'm sure there's a few on TW that remember it!!! Just read this on the Echo website — is it April 1st or is it KEIOC's secret weapon?
A COLONY of water voles is threatening Everton FC and Tesco’s £400m to move to Kirkby. Knowsley Council approved planning permission in March that would allow Tesco to move Kirkby Brook to make way for Everton’s 50,000 seater stadium. But the waterway is home to a group of cute and highly-protected water voles. Planners heard that work on realigning the brook, and relocating the voles, would have to be carried out by September as it is illegal to disturb a hibernating vole. But the ECHO has learned the diversion work will now not take place until the Secretary of State has made a decision on the Blues’ ambitious plans.For a bit of light-hearted banter to pass the summer doldrums, hasn anyone else got any more gremlins we may be able to throw at the club to stop the move?
It seems the project managers are unwilling to start an expensive piece of work while the result of the public inquiry hangs in the balance. Kate McLean, senior planning consultant at Development Planning Partnership, who are managing the project on behalf of Tesco, said: "We’re waiting for the wider Secretary of State’s decision to tie in with the larger scheme. "It’s to do with making cost savings.
"We’re now going to encourage them (the voles) to move downstream, rather than moving their habitat." Now the developers face a race against time to get each one of the Water Rats to move home before they begin hibernating.. This would allow work on the project to start immediately if approved by the inquiry.
Gerry Quinn, Posted 18/07/2009 at 08:51:22
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It’s the rats pushing DK who I’d like to rehabilitate.
Apparently, animal 'language' experts have been involved in all this. Rumour has it the Voles will be taking a vote as to whether or not to move to a new home 'up river'. A Vole spokesman for the newly formed action commitee KVDR (keep voles down river) said, "I'm confident, even with our tiny brains, we won't make the same mistake as many Evertonians did. The travel facilities up river are shite and basically it'd be a stretch of river in a retail park. Unlike some we don't intend to be sold up the river... without a paddle".
Well anyway... that's what I heard.
Ratty, the water vole of Wind in the Willows fame, and a stalwart in central defence for the all-conquering Everton team of the mid 80s, recently waxed wistfully of his kind’s catastrophic decline since those sepia-tinged better times.
"Where once we ranged freely, supping on roots and waterside grasses, perhaps a celebratory acorn or two for those special occasions, like defeating Man U 5-0, we now face hard days indeed."
Citing a variety of causative factors such as gross mismanagement by "Chairvoles" past and present, and the introduction of moneyed foreign invader species, such as the American mink who have set up shop across the park at Anfield, to which the parochial vole has no defence and must suffer in abject penury.
"We had our chances, though," Ratty bemoaned. "We were told we had King’s Dock ring-fenced, which would have kept out our voracious predators. Small fishes, lush waterside grasses, sedges, rushes, a veritable pleasuredome of plenty. You name it, it was all there for the taking."
Sipping from his pint, Ratty, gazed out the pub window before gathering his thoughts.
"Unfortunately, we were in a hibernation phase and slept through the whole thing. When we awoke, King’s Dock had slipped right through our small paws."
When pressed about destination Kirkby, Ratty seemed to tense, twittering his whiskers ever so slightly.
"This really could be the end of us. I don’t know. There won’t be any turning back, however, that much I do know."
"Where once we ranged freely, supping on roots and waterside grasses, perhaps a celebratory acorn or two for those special occasions, like defeating Man U 5-0, we now face hard days indeed."
Citing a variety of causative factors such as gross mismanagement by "Chairvoles" past and present, and the introduction of moneyed foreign invader species, such as the American mink who have set up shop across the park at Anfield, to which the parochial vole has no defence and must suffer in abject penury.
"We had our chances, though," Ratty bemoaned. "We were told we had King’s Dock ring-fenced, which would have kept out our voracious predators. Small fishes, lush waterside grasses, sedges, rushes, a veritable pleasuredome of plenty. You name it, it was all there for the taking."
Sipping from his pint, Ratty, gazed out the pub window before gathering his thoughts.
"Unfortunately, we were in a hibernation phase and slept through the whole thing. When we awoke, King’s Dock had slipped right through our small paws."
When pressed about destination Kirkby, Ratty seemed to tense, twittering his whiskers ever so slightly.
"This really could be the end of us. I don’t know. There won’t be any turning back, however, that much I do know."
France won the contest in 1958 with "Dors, mon amoour". I remember it well.
The potential environmental impact of these developments isn’t insignificant. I recall one of Pompey’s many new stadium schemes falling foul of migrating geese — migrating, they didn’t even live there!
Is there any way we can help these poor creatures procreate? A bit of Barry White played into their nesting areas? Can I take some Oysters and asparagus down there for them and some red satin cushions? A copy of the ’Joy of Sex’ maybe?
I stand corrected Gerry M. - and impressed with your musical know-how — no, sorry it’s not a musical contest — it’s the Eurovision Song Contest!!
Could we say that the players involved in this transfer saga to the Riverside were Nuno Vole-ente and Phil Nev-vole...???
OK, I’ll get my furry coat and go.
Unfortunately the Voles did not have a plan B so they’re stuck between a rock and a hard place otherwise known as the "Hard Rock Tescodome".
I believe BK has hired Keith Wyness to talk to the voles. He has offered them a new place wich would be a world class nest, and it will be virtually free. The capacity would be for 1,000 voles, but able to rise to 3,000 in the future. Wyness has rolled out some of the old timers to back him. Stubbsy the vole has made a statement saying " We will need this move to progress our standing on the river " The voles are concerned about the proposition because it has come straight from Bk’s mouth.
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1 Posted 18/07/2009 at 15:05:54
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