The Mail Bag
Kill the cliché
Comments (49)
How about some sort of New Year gesture to the TW family ?
Annually — preferably January 1st — you could ask the congregation to select the cliche they hated most and want banned.
Say the word and I’ll open a book...
"Be careful what you wish for" would be installed as the immediate odds-on favourite.
Dave Wilson, Posted 11/12/2009 at 11:56:34
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Michael Kenrick
Oh I like it.... Let's do it monthly though. I'm sure there are plenty... starting with one of your favourites: "shows you have no understanding of the game".
How about....’Those who haven’t played the game to a certain level, have no right to comment on a player’...
Who’s sorry nowwwwwww......
Who’s sorry nowwwwwww......
Dave Wilson, you, more than anyone it appears, should be careful what you wish for.
Hahaha, good one!
Such a good idea, it’s almost "like having a new signing"!!
The latest odds .
"Be careful what you wish for" 4-5
"Watch this space" is a generous 5/2
"The anti-Kirkby brigade think " and "according to the Luddites" 7/2
"The glass-half empty crowd" 6/1
"It's Hibbo's and Ossie’s fault" 7/1
"Me? I’m different, I’m a realist" 8/1
"Blindingly obvious" 9/1
10/1 bar
"Be careful what you wish for" 4-5
"Watch this space" is a generous 5/2
"The anti-Kirkby brigade think " and "according to the Luddites" 7/2
"The glass-half empty crowd" 6/1
"It's Hibbo's and Ossie’s fault" 7/1
"Me? I’m different, I’m a realist" 8/1
"Blindingly obvious" 9/1
10/1 bar
Kev Clark
Sorry, that crept under the radar, you’ll only get 2/1 for that
Sorry, that crept under the radar, you’ll only get 2/1 for that
’ 24/7 ’
"Am I missing something?" (Your marbles perhaps?)
"Are you for real?" (No, I exist only in your twisted imagination)
People WHO post words in CAPS because they REALLLLLYYY mean it
"Apologists... usually with the words Moyes, Kenwright, Kirkby or Hibbert stuck in front" (Why is it that someone who holds a different opinion morphs into an ’apologist?’ all of a sudden - what ever happened to diversity of opinion; especially when all the facts can’t be known?"
And the worst of the lot
"end of!"
EG Hibbert is shit - end of!
End of your capacity to construct a coherent argument you thick twat...
"Are you for real?" (No, I exist only in your twisted imagination)
People WHO post words in CAPS because they REALLLLLYYY mean it
"Apologists... usually with the words Moyes, Kenwright, Kirkby or Hibbert stuck in front" (Why is it that someone who holds a different opinion morphs into an ’apologist?’ all of a sudden - what ever happened to diversity of opinion; especially when all the facts can’t be known?"
And the worst of the lot
"end of!"
EG Hibbert is shit - end of!
End of your capacity to construct a coherent argument you thick twat...
Haha...a carthartic thread if ever there was one...
Here’s a nap..
’hidden gem’..
Here’s a nap..
’hidden gem’..
Copy and pasting.
______
Then inserting a sarcastic comment.
______
Then inserting a sarcastic comment.
’Nil Satis’ etc... usually used to refer to a mythical golden age when we won 10-0 every week...
"We need to demand success" (I do every week, very loudly, the bastards don’t seem to be listening)
"The Everton way" - (I wish I knew what this meant?)
"Hoofball" (Even when the team have kept it on the ground as much as the opposition - strangely enough, when the opposition score using exactly the same tactics - not a whisper)
BTW - I think I’ve used ’hidden gem’ a few times... oops!
"We need to demand success" (I do every week, very loudly, the bastards don’t seem to be listening)
"The Everton way" - (I wish I knew what this meant?)
"Hoofball" (Even when the team have kept it on the ground as much as the opposition - strangely enough, when the opposition score using exactly the same tactics - not a whisper)
BTW - I think I’ve used ’hidden gem’ a few times... oops!
Andrew, I’m not sure that qualifies as a cliché... at least not in the intention of this thread.
I do know some internet users seem to have a problem with copy and paste... why is that? Seems a very sensible way to make it crystal clear exactly what it is you’re responding to. And one person’s sarcastic comment is often another’s reasoned response. I presume you’re aiming this at Cairan but he’s not actually sarcastic all that often... is he? Direct, cutting.. even obnoxious perhaps... but not sarcastic.
I do know some internet users seem to have a problem with copy and paste... why is that? Seems a very sensible way to make it crystal clear exactly what it is you’re responding to. And one person’s sarcastic comment is often another’s reasoned response. I presume you’re aiming this at Cairan but he’s not actually sarcastic all that often... is he? Direct, cutting.. even obnoxious perhaps... but not sarcastic.
The one that does it for me is:
"if ya know yer istory"
"if ya know yer istory"
There is one soundbite uttered almost exclusively by people who have never done a real day's (or night's!) work in their lives (Andy Gray, Hansen, Lawrensen etc). It is the truly insulting "He put a full shift in for that game" usually referring to people like Drogba, Gerrard, Terry et al.
I worked for 35 years in the Press Shop at Fords, Halewood, later JLR. I used do 3 shifts, earlies, lates and nights, my shifts lasted for 8 hrs, if you wanted an extra few bob then 12 hrs, including weekends. I played football at the weekends and trained during the week, fitting it in round the shift work, as well as watching the Blues.
In all my 50 years watching Everton and anyone we played, I have never seen any player put in 1% of the work during a game my mates and me had to do to look after ourselves and families. It is a sign of the times how much this previously most working class of sports has moved away from it's roots that remarks like these can be said with such careless impunity.
Rant over, apologies to any Vauhall workers who worked almost as hard as Ford workers!!!
I’ll second Kevin’s "End of", gets right on my nipples that one, reminds me too much of the Koppite’s mantra "FACT"
For anyone who can add up, "they gave 110%" in that game.
How?
How?
It’s pretty innocuous but let’s face it, the most common and perhaps completely redundant cliché used on these pages is "Lets face it..." — 90% without the apostrophe.
Larry... "most working class of sports has moved away from it’s roots" — I can’t help thinking that thought is something of a cliché in itself — especially "if ya know yer ’istory" (sorry!), because the origins of Everton (and apparently a host of other late 19th Century clubs) sounds very distinctly middle-class to me.
No doubt the game was ADOPTED by the working class, and fairly rapidly, but the true roots in church-based Victorian sportsmanship are surely very middle-class... or am I wrong?
No doubt the game was ADOPTED by the working class, and fairly rapidly, but the true roots in church-based Victorian sportsmanship are surely very middle-class... or am I wrong?
"I wont step one foot inside the Tescodome"
"its the deal of the century"
"wow"
"despite all that, Neville’s a born leader"
"Great, we’ve signed another fucken midget"
"its the deal of the century"
"wow"
"despite all that, Neville’s a born leader"
"Great, we’ve signed another fucken midget"
Second the motion on "hoofball"... and I would add "shite" and any of the endless combinations, machinations and repetitions of the words "negative", "tactics" and "Moyes".
"something something apologists"
In the defence of Hibbert: "But He’s a local lad!"
AND!?
In the defence of Hibbert: "But He’s a local lad!"
AND!?
At the end of the day, at the heels of the hunt, the most annoying cliche, in my humble opinion, on this site is, by a country mile, "the dark days of Walter Smith".
Arsene Wenger could not have played the hand Walter was dealt. Without him, Everton would be in the position of Sheffield Wednesday. A decent man who has been unjustly slated on this site.
By the way, Dave Wilson, on the recent Jo thread, in which I concurred with your view, Ciarán McGlone challenged you to produce an article. Stop procrastinating and write it. I think it will lead to a decent debate.
"Blue Bill"
"one of us"
"a blue through and through"
"a true Evertonian"
"FACT"
"luddites"
"Chairman Kenwright"
"Without DK we are doomed"
"Watch this space"
"don’t ask me I’m just the chairman"
"I’m not answering that question"
"wow"
"one of us"
"a blue through and through"
"a true Evertonian"
"FACT"
"luddites"
"Chairman Kenwright"
"Without DK we are doomed"
"Watch this space"
"don’t ask me I’m just the chairman"
"I’m not answering that question"
"wow"
My favourite...
"What's your point?"
"What's your point?"
Or..
"My mate's girlfriend's pet dog's hairdresser is a mate of Kenwright's 2nd cousin's missus and she told her that...."
"My mate's girlfriend's pet dog's hairdresser is a mate of Kenwright's 2nd cousin's missus and she told her that...."
Got to second much of what Kevin has said, especially "end of" and its more recent replacement "full stop". "Apologists" is also an extremely annoying one, as if there’s something wrong with having a positive outlook or trying to defend someone who’s been slagged off.
I disagree with copying and pasting being banned, in fact I wish more people would make it clear exactly what they’re responding to, we need more clarity not less. I also disagree with ’what’s your point?’ in fact I used it myself yesterday. If someone posts a comment that doesn’t seem to make much sense or have a point I think its a fair thing to ask.
I disagree with copying and pasting being banned, in fact I wish more people would make it clear exactly what they’re responding to, we need more clarity not less. I also disagree with ’what’s your point?’ in fact I used it myself yesterday. If someone posts a comment that doesn’t seem to make much sense or have a point I think its a fair thing to ask.
’Osman/Hibbert/the big fella/Cahill/Bily are shit’
’4/5 right backs in the team’
’Jo has the touch of a rapist’ (ok only one once but still funny as hell!)
’4/5 right backs in the team’
’Jo has the touch of a rapist’ (ok only one once but still funny as hell!)
’At the end of the day’
’basically’
’he’s a rough diamond’
and my favourite when cameras pan a derby ’there’s two lads sitting together one blue and one red’
’basically’
’he’s a rough diamond’
and my favourite when cameras pan a derby ’there’s two lads sitting together one blue and one red’
’"he is a top, top player"
"Englands Captain Courageous, John Terry"
"the friendly Derby"
"I didnt see the incident"
"Englands Captain Courageous, John Terry"
"the friendly Derby"
"I didnt see the incident"
"Moyes must go NOW!"
"The people’s club"
"Virtually free"
"Best of the rest"
"He’s only 21"
"He can’t speak English"
"Virtually free"
"Best of the rest"
"He’s only 21"
"He can’t speak English"
"End of"
"Get real"
"Get over it"
"Live with it"
or any other phrase from "realistic" posters
And absolutely anything from Dodd - high (low) point being his terminally hackneyed phrase "I have it on best/good authority"
My arse you do!
"Get real"
"Get over it"
"Live with it"
or any other phrase from "realistic" posters
And absolutely anything from Dodd - high (low) point being his terminally hackneyed phrase "I have it on best/good authority"
My arse you do!
Not really a cliche..but how about banning internet pub psychology...
I’m hurt Michael...HURT!
I’m hurt Michael...HURT!
Black Bill
Bill Kenwrong
Agent Kenshite
Bill Kenwrong
Agent Kenshite
Michael Kenrick — you are quite right, the roots of the modern game are firmly middle class and have origins directly traceable to the public school system and imported to working class areas by Victorian social reformers keen to protect British working class manhood from the evils of drink, fornication and self-abuse.
Team sport was seen as a character building exercise where values such as courage, sacrifice, honesty, manliness and even Godliness could be fostered and encouraged and was a distraction from the demon drink Which is why many clubs were formed around church groups and temperance leagues.
When Rugby split into the Northern Union (Rugby League) and Southern Union (Rugby Union) at the George Hotel, Huddersfield on 29 August 1895 — over players in the North of England who could not afford to play the game without being paid — football became much more popular in the South of England due to no restriction on paying ’working class’ players. There was to be no shamaturism in football and it became firmly a working class game. In 1885 Clubs were allowed to pay players provided that they had either been born or had lived for two years within a six-mile radius of the ground.
The middle classes tended to favour the corinthian spirit and amaturism of Rugby Union.
Team sport was seen as a character building exercise where values such as courage, sacrifice, honesty, manliness and even Godliness could be fostered and encouraged and was a distraction from the demon drink Which is why many clubs were formed around church groups and temperance leagues.
When Rugby split into the Northern Union (Rugby League) and Southern Union (Rugby Union) at the George Hotel, Huddersfield on 29 August 1895 — over players in the North of England who could not afford to play the game without being paid — football became much more popular in the South of England due to no restriction on paying ’working class’ players. There was to be no shamaturism in football and it became firmly a working class game. In 1885 Clubs were allowed to pay players provided that they had either been born or had lived for two years within a six-mile radius of the ground.
The middle classes tended to favour the corinthian spirit and amaturism of Rugby Union.
How about some of the pundits' quotes being banned too.
Like the famous A Gray:
"They’re asking questions of the defence"!!
What is it a fucking quiz?
"He eased him out"
"It was a penalty FFS".
Like the famous A Gray:
"They’re asking questions of the defence"!!
What is it a fucking quiz?
"He eased him out"
"It was a penalty FFS".
"In Moyes we trust"
"Nuff said"
"a real supporter"
"the floor is open"
"Nuff said"
"a real supporter"
"the floor is open"
This one comes up with alarming regularity..
"I can’t believe it, but for once I agree with XXXX" [same person using it for the nth time]
"I can’t believe it, but for once I agree with XXXX" [same person using it for the nth time]
Everything Tony Marsh writes has been written so many times that it must be classified as a cliche by now?
Simples!
What about killing some of the acronyms while we’re at it!!
What about:
IMWT and COYB’s for starters.
What about:
IMWT and COYB’s for starters.
Andy
I agree it will make for interesting debate, but unlike my challenger, I dont have the writnig skills to be able to just knock up an article.
I’ll do it when I get a spare hour mate
I agree it will make for interesting debate, but unlike my challenger, I dont have the writnig skills to be able to just knock up an article.
I’ll do it when I get a spare hour mate
’Sorted’!
@ Larry Boner- bit late I know but I’m putting in my shift. (..eek...cliche alert but I’m allowed...Sat morn at 6am...what a joy! ). My old man, Dennis, worked in Fords for donkeys years too....did you know him by any chance?
@ Larry Boner- bit late I know but I’m putting in my shift. (..eek...cliche alert but I’m allowed...Sat morn at 6am...what a joy! ). My old man, Dennis, worked in Fords for donkeys years too....did you know him by any chance?
To stop this top class fanzine from ending up like that of our neigbhours where every second word starts with F or C or B. I would immediately ban FFS and all its derivitives.
If this was a spelling bee my pet hate is loose as in ’how did we loose that one’.one
If this was a spelling bee my pet hate is loose as in ’how did we loose that one’.one
IMHO - drives me mad, there again so does all text speak...
The one that gets me is "pants" as in Jo is pants, what the fuck does pants mean????
The one I love is " Richard Dodd is a Twat"
When we are winning and on a good run
"Where is Tony Marsh now?"
"Where is Tony Marsh now?"
Before today’s game, I would have suggested new ones like "too good to go down" or "squeaky bum time"! Maybe being just a bit too negative imho, nuff said. End of.
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