Q: Did Moyes get money from Kenwright?

A: No.

Next topic,

Will there ever be world peace?

I'm pretty sure the conversation would have gone like this:

DM: So?
BK: So what?
DM: Do i get any money?
BK: Are you being serious?
DM; Its the same as usual? If i only get money from the players i sell.
BK: Nope.
DM: Really (with a naive optimism)?
BK: You get 50% of the money from the players you sell, the bank's getting edgy.
DM: For f**k's sake! So no sign of that 'mystery investor' then?
BK: hahahaha...good one Davey! I should put you on stage in one of my fruity comedies....genius!


DM skulks off mumbling about free transfers and Randy Lerner being on the phone.....

Or something like this.

DM: How much cash have i got to spend ?
BK: Fuck all as usual.
DM: Right i'm resigning
BK: You can't afford to sunshine the money i pay you and anyway who's gonna employ a loser. Remind me again what trophies you have won !

BK: Don't worry Davey I've got loads of money ringfenced for transfers. I'll get it sorted.Just wath this space.

It certainly seems like there is no money available. Free transfers and loans seems all we can get.

Don't know about you guys, but i'm just sick of it. Every year no new players, strikers not upto the job, never enough of them, defensive line ups. Then look at themtossers Man City! Under Blue Bill, we have stagnated, still in our wooden stadium with no improvements since the Peter Johnson (yes that's Peter Johnson) speaks volumes really. Kenwright will go down in history of Everton Football Club as the Chairman that destroyed everything. Maybe i'm being dramatic, but where have we excatly gone under Bill Kenwright. We don''t need a Sheikh Mansour, but a Niall Quinn will do.

I expect 15m to be available at least whether players are sold or not, the reason being Swansea, Norwich and the smallest clubs who get shit gates will spend that amount and possibly more.

Most here probably think ime dreaming but i will be dissapointed and dislike Kenwright even more if its not the case for the reason i give.

Oh yae of little faith,
Of course Moyes will get money to spend...Just not much.
Of course Bills got billions stashed away and doesn't want to part with it... tight bastard.
Fucking grow up ,

Heard a rumour today about a certain Sheikh-a-nvac is interested,
apparently he has promised to put the freshness back!

Roundy puts the final polish on the training cones when Davey Moyes steams in from a meeting about transfer funds:

" when is kenwright gonna learn how to use a fuckin calculator? 20 million he said...., it's been checked over- an its 20 thou , what a complete twat".

Realising the Moyes sulk can last forever Roundy tries a mood lifter:
"I know boss but remember when he did your contract - you were gonna get 1 mill and he pressed the 3 "

Davey smiles:
"yeah, fuckin nob - bollox to it - let's sing the song, that'll cheer me up"

like an obliging pup Roundy jumps on the table and starts chanting:
"we shall not be moved....oh uncle bill, his calculator don't add up....we shall not be moved"

davey dances around the kitbag throwing 20 pound notes in the air.
"where's the bibs? I wanna sniff the bibs" he yells just as the phone rings

" bollocks to it - fergie only rings the mobile" he shouts, continuing "oh uncle bill, his calcu........"

"no boss, its your home number!!" Roundy interrupts

" it'll be the missus - say I'm busy" says Davey holding phil Neville's training bib close to his nose.

"Hello Mrs M." chuckles Roundy, enthralled by his own cheeky chappiness
" I'm afraid he's out"

Judging by Mrs Moyes trembling voice something is wrong, Roundy presses the intercom button so Davey can hear.

"oh dearie me, I think someone's trying to break in, what can I do?" she wimpers

"what?" says roundy helpfully

"there's 2 men at the back fence, they've got everton shirts on" she cries

"they'll be fans after dave's autograph" laughs roundy

Davey pretends he's just arrived

"hello petal, just got that .....Round person is right they'll be fans don't worry" he smiles

"oh davey, I don't think so - I think they're frauds" she says

"what d'ya mean?" frowns Davey

"Well they can't be real Evertonians" she hesitates
.....they've got number 9's on their shirts"

"ROUNDY GET THE FUCKIN CAR, THEY'RE MURDERERS"

Oh well, to stop the tears we can all have a go:

DM: Bill can I.......

BK: DAVEY DAAAHLING, you were maaaarvellous today, absolutely MAAAAAAARELLOUS....

DM: Bill.....

BK: Mmmwah Mmmwah

DM: Gerroff, ya wee bastard, I?m tellin? ya I'll be givin' ya a skelp...

BK: Oh he's such a one Jon; I said to Jon when the curtain went up, didn't I Jon, Davey's such a one; now Davey... Dave...David dahling, you'll take sherry with us won't you....

DM: No, I want to t.......

BK: Oh just a small one, you deserve it, just a small one, just a small one for your uncle Bill, the performance today was maaaarvellous dahling, absolutely maaaarvellous, the cast were absolutely maaaarvellous love, from the moment the curtain went up to the finale, absolutely maaaarvellous, didn't I say that Jon, didn't I? The way you had them downstage all the time after the interval old dahling, Leighton deserves an Oscar for......

DM: BILL... I want to talk to you about money....

BK: MONEY? Oh how tiresome dahling, isn't it tiresome Jon, isn't it, isn't it just terribly tiresome? Everybody want's to talk about money these days, I blame that mate of Philip's, what his name, Cameroon or something, what is it Jon, what's his name again Jon? CAMERON!! That's him, Cameron; Phil's friend, him and that other one, what's his name, oh you know Jon, you do, the supporting role.....

DM: Clegg.

BK: CLEGG!, yes dahling, Clegg, that's him, did you know I played a Clegg in Coronation St dahling? Did I tell you about being Betty's son, did I tell him Jon, did I? Gordon Clegg, I was maaaarvellous, absolutely......

DM: BILL! I came here to talk about money, my money for.....

BK: Your money dahling, YOUR money? We pay you the same as that fella with the blue nose, what's his name again Jon? You know, the other jo...the other Scottish chap who's rather good.....

DM: Not money for me, money to re-build the team.

BK: Dahling, we can't even afford to rebuild the wall in the park end....we?ve had to send Ian on a brick laying course but he?s fucked that up as well.....

DM: But you said......

BK: Dahling it's just so very very very hard at the moment, look at poor Robert on skype there, look at him; give him a wave dahling; he can?t afford to come over, he had to watch the game on Iraqi goals. Look dahling, it's like this, how much did we give you the season before last?

DM: Och aye Fook all agin...

BK: And where did you come?

DM: Eighth.

BK: And how much did we give you last season?

DM: Haf of fook all

BK: And where did you end up this season?

DM: Seventh...

BK: There you go, you?re absolutely maaaarvellous dahling, that?s sorted then, you?ll get even less this season and Europe here we come again, WE?RE ALL GOIN? ON A EUROPEAN TOUR, A EUROPEAN TOUR, A EUROPEAN TOUR, WE?RE ALL GOIN? ON A EUROPEAN TOUR......

To be continued.........

Sometimes reading on here is so depressing, but now i am really in the poop, my partner wants to know what i have been reading again on my "silly Toffeeweb" laughing out loud so much, Thanks to Trevor and Colin-brilliant

A nice surprise would be welcome

DM: How much this year Bill?

BK: Take Rodwell or Fellaini down to cash converters, see what you can get for 'em. Give me half of that, then the rest is yours... Maybe.

DM: ....twat

That's the whole discussion, according to the Echo anyway.

I'm still waiting for that signing that's going to make me say "Wow!"

Uncle Bill promised, and it's already taken longer than expected when he first said it.

And people wonder why he gets called Billy Bullshit!

Or maybe this is more appropriate:

DM: "Bill, how much transfer pot do we have exactly? As someone on toffeeweb wants to know how much we have to spend on players"

BK: "What? If we publish that, every premier club will know how much we have and our negotiations with them and our player wage talks will be up the spout. Get real"

DM: "fair do's, we'll just keep it between ourselves, like".

I suspect that anything that happens will be just before the window closes. We sent half the squad out on loan to save money , so I doubt anything will go on the wage bill over the summer.

A fit Fellaini would be like a new signing. Seriously.

A new signing would be like a new signing, seriously.

Well done, Jeremy Benson :) N'Zogbia will do me nicely. I'll wake up in a bit . . .

Andy #17, so business as usual then eh!

Just where all this money is to be spirited from Gawd only knows! Virtually all the Club`s income is going in wages and we shall be lucky to get £5M from sales of Yak and Yobo.Add £2.5M from Vaughan and that`s £7.5M for summer purchases UNLESS a `star` is sold.But that`s the scene Davey signed up to and he`s well experienced at making the best of what he`s got.Should be good enough to challenge `Super Six` next season,though.

£7.5m ?! WOW !

I knew I should have worn my industrial strength plastic personal hygiene pants this morning ... with excitement like that an accident was bound to happen.

Probably just me, but I think one decent player would be better than a few selections from the free transfer pick and mix.

If virtually all the Club`s income is going in wages then this is poor management.
I want to believe that new players are coming to Goodison every summer. It is important for both fans and players morale for several ins/outs every year or things get very stale. They need to therefore sell a couple of high earners, who are not earning their crust, and bring in lower salaried replacements so that we have at least 5-10 million each summer to do some deals with.

Just for an example, what if a couple of kids were wanting a Christmas present but they did not get anything. When the parents asked why the kids were upset, and they said all the other kids got something, then the parents simple said ?ahh but we spent all our money on food and clothes, you wouldn?t want less would you???

There is no money. No point putting yourself through all this torture with the numerous rumours doing the rounds daily. Enjoy your summer and come back on Sept 1 2011. All will be revealed then ( well probably not much revealing)

Jamie, I am still watching that fecken space from two seasons ago!!

Colin Fitz #11 absolutely brilliant. Get a publisher mate.

Dave 3, I dunno it worked for Martinez, nearly relegated but offered a better job...now has a better wage

All of these years with no money spent is leading up to one thing!

One magnificant whopper of a signing with all of the money having been banked and saved up designed just for this! So perfect! and yet never tried before! Expect the LeBron James of Football in the coming weeks! You heard it here first!

Colin Fitz (11) That was really funny-the tears are still running down my legs

Top stuff Colin F and not far from the truth id bet

The Earl/Iraq Goals bit made me laugh out loud or lol....

Everton will do the usual. Happily let the club be linked with big players (Klose) all preseason without denying or confirming anything while the fans buy the season tickets. Then, when the season tickets are bought they'll turn around as they have done every preseason for a while now and do nothing.

I hate preseason as an Everton fan, I have no hair left at the end of it!

I suppose if we can`t sell all the players out on loan,they`ll be like new signings too!

Alright,just joking!

Jon Hughes#24,
60% of income goes on players wages the rest goes on interest on loans and the black hole called miscellaneous operating expenses(20 million a year).

Ask BB to explain that and get a straight answer.

Trevor, Colin, Chris = Absolute. Gold.

Kevin, I feel sorry for any fan who is waiting to see who we buy before renewing, I really do.

Don't forget the £2.5m banked from Pienaar, lol!

I don't know whether any of you guys saw Dave Whelan talking after Martinez committed to Wigan. What a great Owner / Chairman. Totally honest and no bull. He was very upfront. saying that he wanted Martinez to improve the squad but he would have to sell to buy in the Summer. At least the Wigan fans know where they stand!

black hole called miscellaneous operating expenses(20 million a year).

This is the key to our issues, 2.5m when PJ left, where and to whom is this money going? An extra 17.5m is going somewhere, stadium? no, players? no, pay off loans? it appears not, as it is not, as loans are increasing and not going down.

Tony J Williams@36 Is there a lot of fans who do that? Waiting on signings would have cost £80.

My own opinion is that, the players we can possibly afford wont be worth the £80 and its difficult to be anymore frustrated.

Most of the talk in the papers will be shite anyway but its still a buzz to be interested in players we like even if it is from the papers.

There's always the lotto.

Gents, just ignore everything for another few weeks because Lord knows its going to be shit watching pissant clubs spending millions in late July while we sit on our hands.

Why do you do this to yourselves? Just resign yourself to a later frustration and make peace with it for the time being.

Altogether now...

We're skint, and we know we are.
We're skint...

I dont know how much other Everton fans care about our transfer situation,I for one feel very strongly for this club and therefore I follow the statements of Kenwright and Moyes closely. In light of the aston-villa link with Moyes I feel that we are best served if he goes. We need a new pair of eyes with new ideas about our squad and who should stay and who can be sold. After 9 years I no longer belive that Moyes can do any better than he has already, only problem is who is going to take over! Inside option: Duncan Ferguson would be my favourite with Phil Neville or Alan Stubbs as an assistant. Duncan knows what this club needs, attackminded formation with players who fit into those roles. Outside option could be Di Matteo or Paul Lambert. It would be a tough call for Kenwright to make, but he has done it before.

I have just heard that our Head of Marketing, Tom Shelston, has been appointed "Members and Donors Director" at the National Trust.

Must of been his experience of promoting historic monuments that got him the job.