Chief executive Angus Kinnear talks winter transfer window and progress so far

Er... hyperbole alert! Or perhaps we could get this guy to contribute as a freelance writer and add much-needed sparkle to our dull and drab articles...???

[Just kidding!] Although it does sound a lot like expectation management that we have come to know and loathe.

You might want to drop that requirement, it could explain why we've so many injured.

Don't expect us to flash the cash in January, we're saving it for summer.

Either that or just give it to us straight. We've brought in a couple of good players and quite a few duds. As a result, we have no money to bring any more in at the moment.

But he's essentially saying 'we have no money to spend at Christmas so you'll have to wait for your pressies in the summer'.

I just hope the pressies are better than last summer's.

Papery specious template waffle stuffed with the blind-bleedingly obvious programmed comments. But at least we now have the first shot in the trying to explain/defend our ace recruiters poor January window.

Remember, this fella was complicit in buying Bambi Barry. And some short-term incoming is exactly what we need. Got a right-back target, Mr Kinnear?

Identifying and executing opportunities that will make us stronger in the long term.

Barry and Beto for the rest of the season then.

Was that before the last transfer window and how does that compare to the likes of Brighton etc and second only to Southampton's negotiating team?

Given that two of them came from Leeds, how has their striker search compared with ours?

Players crawl broken glass to wear the shirt? Well, Barry certainly didn't want to come here and was made to. So he was crawling over broken glass in the other direction.

“The recruitment structures we put in place, marrying world-class analytics with industry-leading talent identification and player trading capability, have borne fruit.”

We are in deeper shit transfer-wise than we thought. If their (bluster) recruitment structure married a WC called Annie Lytic whilst swapping figurine Panini football stickers. Doesn't mean anything more than trite tripe.

Straight out of the Bullshit Kenwright book of lies and waffle.
No mention of the three goalkeepers who have come in as vital... erm, exceptiion... erm, waste of money. Or does having two goalkeepers on the bench adhere to the world class talent identifying guff he is on about?

He also missed out Seamus. The blistering quality must be blinding him. No mention of 0 goalscorers. No. I'm wrong. We do have a world class Bollard (thank you, Charles). If he believes Barry is talented, we are fucked.

A right-back? Or don't they have them in the US of A? Aznou and Dibling (not seen much of) coz the manager prefers McNeil and Coleman to those two, everyday of the week.

Keane has been a revelation, granted, and I am delighted for him. Gueye... Nope. Both were only re-signed due to the last DoF's fuck up.

Does he really believe we wanna hear his corporate dross that has no holding when tested? Why can't this self-serving self-sanctifying soulless sell-out walk down a street and listen to how the world is?

Yeh. Just say it. No money. And if we had any, we're likely to get sold another pup and some lemons coz we're clueless.

Depressing Xmas Presents R Us, Santa Kinnear.

What we have done is, apart from Dewsbury-Hall and Grealish, we have bought utter dross. Our world-class analytics team have splashed all our money mainly on youngsters who are struggling to make an impact and may never be first team regulars.

So Mr Kinnear, please don't try and insult our knowledgeable fan base with this diatribe. I wonder if our new owner will ever attend the Hill Dickinson Stadium?

Or is it a smokescreen for actually telling us we aren't spending anything this next window...???

I've got news for you, mate: we need a right-back desperately, and the striker issue obviously needs resolving.

By the way, get me some of the drugs you've been on.

He's right though about the January transfer window. There's no point in going for a long-term right back now if the pool will be 10 times as big come the summer. That's no reason not to pick up an Ashley Young type though, an experienced player on a shortish contract.

Well there would, but you know what I mean.

To me, that's the most important sentence, not the broken-glass one.

Everybody knows what we need but, despite the frustration up top and at right back, we're not in any kind of desperate shape (barring further injuries), and the January shop window is famously overpriced.

Kinnear saying that Phase 2 of the rebuild will take place next summer, rather than next month, suits me just fine. That's when we'll find out if the recruitment committee has a plan and knows its job. Not in January.

Arsenal, Man City, Liverpool and Newcastle Utd are others I can think of whose owners are always no-shows. Hasn't seemed to have hurt them.

For me I care a lot more about how well Dan Friedkin supports the club with his checkbook than with his face in the Directors Box.

This would have enhanced our recruitment process for Phase 2, averting a Summer 2026 rerun of Moyes whinging about his preferred targets not coming to the club because they want European football.

Kinnear's self-aggrandizing nonsense is delusional and irritating. To me, he comes across as a chancer, when we need a serious football operator.

I'll stay by my phone throughout January, then.

The fact that the big Angus beefburger could spit out that statement whilst keeping a straight face says it all.

Big Angus is full of shite and his fondness for big bullshit soundbites reminds me of another teary fella fond of such things called Bill.

As the owner of a single share, I wish the Shareholders Association would post a paragraph summary, even if it's only to say ""It's irrelevant for any small shareholder, file in the bin".

That's modern football ownership -- buy playthings to make more money and get someone trained to talk nonsense to fans.

We've got the only Moyesiah not to get 3 nice presents this Christmas. A golden striker, a mere right-back and a frankly sensible left-back. Where are the three wise men when we need them?

A more honest appraisal would be, we've brought in a couple of players who are clearly better than before, but we have muffed up striker and full back positions. Sorry about that, we'll try to fix it. Give the new young ones a bit of time, we think at least two out of the three will come good.

Self marking gives me 5/10 and room for improvement. But remember what you could have been stuck with...

We always seem to get players when signing saying, "what a wonderful club with great history Everton is"! -- while they are lining their pockets.

If you are going to sign players, sign some that can perform at a level they are paid to do, and for problem areas that are needed. How about a right-back that can defend and a striker who does not want to prove it is easier to miss than score?

Instead of saying what you would like to do, how about doing it, just to prove you can?

...and we've still got nobody who can get on 1st base - oops, sorry wrong sport, play right back.

Moneyball sports babble.

The 3 Amigos? 3 Stooges more like.

And the three men I admire most

The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost (The Holy Trinity?)

They caught the last train for the coast

I was really hoping for a change of culture but seems the same shit, different smell.

The main new players that have made a difference are Dewsbury-Hall and Grealish. The rest haven't done anything of note.

I'll forgive him his complete lack of footballing knowledge (he clearly has none) but the corporate bullshit he spouts whilst preening his own feathers is nothing short of embarrassing. Not that he'd know it.

Was there a cyber attack when we signed Barry then? If not, buy a new computer.