Apologies for the silly headline, but it could easily be applied to the manager or the club. Saturday’s turgid display against 10-man Brentford only proved what the vast majority watching already knew: we have a squad of players, with only two or three capable of playing in a half-decent Premier League team.
Whilst I have witnessed in over 50 years of watching Everton, similar poor teams with equally poor managers, going to Goodison has never been more depressing. Collectively, I would say that the majority of the crowd has ‘had enough’.
Most would argue that the manager has been dealt a poor hand; we have a motley collection of misfits cobbled together, including free transfers, loan players not wanted by their parent clubs, and players who shouldn’t really have had their contracts extended past the age of 35.
You could argue the manager had little or no choice, minimum cash to spend in the transfer market, and having to sell his best players for the last two seasons… but he really doesn’t help himself at times.
The purchase of Jake O’Brien a perfect example, with three centre-backs on the books – was it absolutely necessary to spend £17M on another, albeit promising youngster?
The fullback positions obviously needed addressing – both left- and right-back, with Coleman now almost permanently injured and Mykolenko suffering from injury and a seeming lack of confidence, his game has gone backwards.
Dyche is a formidable character, no doubt about it, and not many managers could have coped with a double points deduction and the pressure put on the club and the players last season from the media and other sources; but it shouldn’t disguise the fact that, this season, his tactics and team selections have been woefully poor.
The capitulation in seven horrifying minutes against Bournemouth could and should have been avoided; I’ve never ever witnessed anything quite like that before, it was crying out for better game management, and really was a taste of things to come.
The difference in mentality between the two managers at Goodison Park yesterday couldn’t have been more stark. A manager with 10 men made attacking changes to try and beat a manager who was afraid to lose a game with a numerical advantage.
It also seems that, once Dyche has made his mind up about you as a player, your career at Goodison is as good as over. Take his treatment of Nathan Patterson – agreed, not everyone’s first choice of full-back but, since his return to fitness, I can’t even recall him coming on as a substitute.
However, the problem lies a lot deeper with Dyche. His mantra is defence first, everything else is secondary. His recent comments on the role of the Number 10 simply confirmed that.
Doing the ‘hard yards’ with Sean will almost guarantee your first team place; look at the recent performance’s of Doucouré – it’s obvious to everyone watching, his legs have gone and he doesn’t have the physical attributes to apply the press at the top end of the pitch anymore.
But Doucouré will more than likely start each game as Dyche will always rely on what can only be described as his trusted players. The game often passes Doucouré by, another player whose contract really should not have been extended.
Sometimes when a manager nears the end of his tenure, the press conferences before the game (now always on Thursdays at Finch Farm) become little more than agreed PR sessions, the gathered press can’t or won’t ask the questions the fans want answers to.
For instance: Is the manager happy giving the opposition total control of the game? (Saturday excepted!) Why does Calvert-Lewin have to chase his own headers? Why do Everton players have difficulty stringing three or four passes together? You could almost see him grinding his teeth when one scribe asked him, “Would Ndiaye not be better off playing the Number 10 role?”
December’s fixtures look dreadful for Everton; I’m struggling to see where we will pick up any points. The re-emergence of Wolves and their obvious goalscoring threat leads me to believe that they will have enough in their locker to avoid a relegation scrap. That leaves Southampton, Ipswich, Crystal Palace and Leicester as our relegation rivals. I believe Palace will pull out of the Bottom 3, which means a dogfight for Everton and the rest.
If we are planted in the Bottom 3 by the end of December, by which time The Friedkin Grup will have completed their takeover, they simply have to act, and I think they will. They cannot spunk the best part of £600M on a club facing life in the Championship. If they are the astute business people, as we are led to believe they are, they will be looking and talking to potential candidates now.
I don’t buy into the theory that no-one currently at the club has the power to remove Sean Dyche. At the moment, going to Goodison Park is a soul-destroying experience, for players and fans alike. There is no evidence to suggest he can get the best out of these players, or that an upturn in form is just around the corner; it’s a hideous brand of football with no obvious game plan.
It’s sad to see our last season at Goodison Park played out like this. I’m hoping the imminent change in ownership brings about better times for all of us.