In an emotional and revealing interview with Gary Neville, Dele Alli has opened up about his past and recent struggles, admitting that he recently decided that it was time to take the bold step of seeking professional help to address his mental health.
Dele’s dip in his football career, first at Tottenham Hotspur after Mauricio Pochettino left the North London club and then the failure thus far of his subsequent move to Merseyside, left many people wondering what was happening behind the scenes and the 27-year-old sat down with Man Utd legend Neville for the latest episode of The Overlap where he laid bare his mental problems and battles with addiction.
Neville shared the interview on his social media channels, describing it as, “the most emotional, difficult yet inspirational conversation I’ve ever had in my life,” where Dele describes how the news of the surgery he needed last season to correct a hip problem was the moment where he felt he needed to seek counseling, spending six weeks at a facility in an effort to get this life and career back on track.
I’m struggling to find the words to put with this post but please watch my most recent interview with Dele. It’s the most emotional, difficult yet inspirational conversation I’ve ever had in my life. Watch the interview on @wearetheoverlap here https://t.co/60d4IZwQmR pic.twitter.com/0cZowJGW77
— Gary Neville (@GNev2) July 13, 2023
In the interview, Dele confesses to his past dependence on drink and prescription sleeping pills and the fact that, in a moment he described as “heartbreaking”, he contemplated retiring at the age of 24, well before the usual peak in a footballer’s career.
“Now is probably the right time to tell people what’s been going on,” Dele began. “It’s tough to talk about because it’s quite recent and it’s something I’ve kind of hid (sic). I’m scared to talk about it but it’s the right thing to do.”
He explained that, when he came back from Turkey, he was “in a bad place mentally” contemplating the operation and on the back of what was largely a failed loan spell with Besiktas.
With pictures surfacing of him at a party surrounded by alcohol and laughing gas canisters splashed across the tabloids, the former Spurs and England star says that he decided to go to a rehab facility in the United States for “mental health, addiction and trauma”.
“I was in a bad cycle,” he confesses. “I was relying on things that were doing me harm and I was waking up every day, winning the fight, going into training showing that I was happy but inside I was definitely losing the battle and it was time for me to change it.
“Because when I got injured and they told me I needed surgery, I could feel the old feelings that I had when the cycle begins and I didn’t want it to happen anymore.
“Everton were amazing about it and supported me 100%. I’ll be grateful to them forever, whatever happens in the future… for them to be so open and understanding, I couldn’t have asked for anything more at that time.
“I was making the biggest decision of my life; something I was scared to do and I’m happy I’ve done it and, to be honest, I don’t think I could have expected it to go as well as it did.”
Dele revealed that the roots of his troubles lie in events when he was much younger that prompted him to do “stupid things that I blamed myself for” like drinking and becoming addicted to sleeping tablets which he was taking during the day on his days off to “numb” the feelings that were dogging him.
However, his time in rehab opened his eyes to what he was dealing with and how much of it was out of his control before he learned how to understand and process it all.
He spoke of how he had always wanted to cope alone with the trauma of the abuse and instability he suffered living with his biological family — including being molested by a family friend at the age of just 6, being sent to Africa “to learn some discipline” with his father by his alcoholic mother, using and selling drugs by age 8 — and found it impossible to let his “amazing” adopted family in even though they could see he was struggling.
Then, though he credits the game with saving his life, Dele admitted that the stresses of being in the glare of the spotlight of top-level football took a different toll: “Mentally, I don’t think anyone will ever understand unless you’re in it what it can do to you – you know, rejection, being told you’re not good enough, fighting every day, even losing a game can affect you mentally.”
Though he is still recovering from the surgery he underwent in the spring, Dele admitted that he is feeling as though he is in a very good place heading into the new season.
“I think this is the first time in a long time where I can say, yeah [I’m okay] and mean it,” he said. “Mentally, I’m probably in the best place I’ve ever been and I feel good. I’ve got that passion back for football, so I’m doing really well.
“I know what I can do on the pitch; I think I’ve shown people what I can do on the pitch. Now I’ve got the feeling back like before I went to Tottenham when I had a lot to prove, I wanted to fight and I had a lot of passion and love for football — I have that back which, for me, is something I’ve missed for longer than I wanted to.
“I want to be a better player [than I was at my peak]. I want to be a better person. I’m looking forward and the journey from here is just exciting to me.”