Skip to Main Content
Members:   Log In Sign Up
Text:  A  A  A

Dateline: Kirkby, August 8th, 2032

By Peter Fearon :  07/08/2007 :  Comments (35) :
It?s almost 25 years to the day since Everton fans narrowly approved the plan to leave the City of Liverpool for a new stadium development in Kirkby. Everton?s links to Liverpool are today a distant memory for many fans, but older supporters may recall that the ?Knowsley People?s Club? was once very much a thriving part of the fabric of life in Liverpool, our neighbors to the West, which at that time had two Premiership teams. In fact, some may not know that the name, Everton, comes from a district in the city.

When the logo of Knowsley Safari Park was incorporated into the club badge, it replaced an old Liverpool building that had been the centerpiece of the club emblem for many years. The old club motto was also replaced by the now familiar, ?Nil Mercor Nisi Tescoii? ? ?Shop Only At Tesco?s.?

The decision to leave Liverpool and their then stadium — on the site of what is now the Bill Shankly Health, Recreation & Entertainment Complex on Goodison Road — was a controversial one and taken amid much acrimony. It seems laughable now — this was before Knowsley achieved city status — but attempts were even made to convince some fans that Kirkby was really part of the city of Liverpool even when it patently is not.

The outrage felt by some supporters was intensified when cost over runs and long delays in completion of what was once heralded as a ?the deal of the century? almost bankrupted the club.

By the time the StenaLine Freight & Ferries Arena was finished, the man who had championed the move, Sir Keith Wyness, had long since left Everton for greener business pastures. He did not have to deal with the anger of fans who felt betrayed when none of the promised money for new players materialized because it was all spent on huge debts accrued to pay for stadium at fantastic interest rates during one of the worst global credit squeezes in history.

Some claim to this day it was a mistake for Everton to abandon the club?s traditional base to carve out a future in one of the most blighted districts of a neighboring borough, one beset by crime, drugs and other social problems, at a time when every other major club was rebuilding closer to home. But hindsight is 20/20.

It?s ironic then that 25 years later, the club faces another big decision. Kirkby was recently identified by Strasburg as a Shops, Homes, Infrastructure & Transportation Emergency investment sector (SHITE). The old crumbling concrete stadium is to be torn down. Evertonians must decide whether to stay in Knowsley, their home for nearly a quarter of a century, or move to a new purpose-built stadium in Runcorn.

?There is no Plan B,? said a club official. ?It would be too expensive to redevelop the current stadium. The move to Runcorn is important to secure the future of the club. It will be a wrench for some fans, but many Runcornians are of Knowsley origin, and the lines separating them from us here in the City of Knowsley are purely imaginary.

?And it will mean more revenue, which will be made available to manager Wayne Rooney for players,? he promised.

Some may still hanker after a return to the city of their origin, but that is very much a pipedream. Land prices in Liverpool are astronomical and the land abandoned by Everton in 2010 is worth 20 times what it was sold for.

With Everton?s current finances in such a parlous state, their fan base severely eroded and their business management floundering, some fans wish they could turn the clock back to 2007 and that historic vote.

Alas, that can never be.

Reader Comments

Note: the following content is not moderated or vetted by the site owners at the time of submission. Comments are the responsibility of the poster. Disclaimer


James
1   Posted 08/08/2007 at 01:35:27

Report abuse

Absolutely laughable! You’ve gone way too far there.

I admit you had me going up to a point, then had to spoil it didn’t you? The idea that Wayne Rooney could ever become manager of any club, let alone Everton, is just too far fetched for words.

;-)
Gerard Madden
2   Posted 08/08/2007 at 02:12:50

Report abuse

What a desperate article absolutely hilarious - not. Some of these articles are getting increasingly desperate.
Nick Harrison
3   Posted 08/08/2007 at 01:53:38

Report abuse

These articles are getting a little cheesy.
middleastblue
4   Posted 08/08/2007 at 04:45:28

Report abuse

Peter,

Great article and a little refreshing considering some of the serious debates this topic has raised over the past weeks.

I am eligible to vote as a season ticket holder and my vote "to move out of the city" stay’s as a NO to Kirkby.

If it happens which I doubt it will, a move across to Kirkby will be disastrous for our great club. (R.I.P)
paul
5   Posted 08/08/2007 at 05:43:13

Report abuse

tosh!
Dave Southword
6   Posted 08/08/2007 at 08:32:55

Report abuse

Drivel. This adds nothing to the debate and only proves that you can’t write satire.
matt kassell
7   Posted 08/08/2007 at 08:58:32

Report abuse

this is bollocks
ryan crest
8   Posted 08/08/2007 at 09:24:36

Report abuse

It might have worked if it was remotely funny, but it isn’t.

Don’t give up your day job Pete. I really don’t think comedy writing is for you.
Brian Waring
9   Posted 08/08/2007 at 09:35:43

Report abuse

Some of you guys need to take a chill pill.It’s tongue in cheek,a bit of light satire.Don,t get so fucking touchy!On the other hand....you never know.
ryan crest
10   Posted 08/08/2007 at 09:53:43

Report abuse

Brian - but tongue in cheek implies it’s funny. This is just pants.
Dan Mckie
11   Posted 08/08/2007 at 10:05:45

Report abuse

Why dont you do another for if we stay at Goodison Peter? No doubt it will say that soon after the ’no’ vote was anounced an Everton loving billionaire purchased the club and we are now in 2032 top of the league heading for our 20th straight premier league title playing at the gratest stadium in the world on the Kings Dock!!
Bunnyman
12   Posted 08/08/2007 at 10:38:06

Report abuse

If the boundary commission hasn’t wiped the false boroughs of Knowsley and Sefton off the face of the earth by 2032 they must’ve poached Wyness and Kenwright.

As soon as they’re absorbed into the city proper, all this bollocks will come to an end.
Lee Spargo
13   Posted 08/08/2007 at 11:38:45

Report abuse

This is wank.

I’m voting yes.

Shaun Sparke
14   Posted 08/08/2007 at 12:03:02

Report abuse

I actually found the article quite amusing. Have we become so entwined in the hysteria of the ground move debate that we have forgotten how to smile? Sure, the ground move issue is important, but come on get a grip. I don?t think Peter is trying to become the next Nostradamus, Mystic Meg maybe?
toffee rapper
15   Posted 08/08/2007 at 13:34:26

Report abuse

the KEIOC scare campaign goes into full swing! Won’t make a blind bit of difference to my vote, you lot are as weak as piss, long on sentiment and rhetoric, short on ideas or alternatives. What next? Kirkby is on an earthquake fault line? Absolute bollocks, stop writing such rubbish and show us how your crap ideas for the loop and GP can actually be paid for.

What was that? More deafening silence..............
blooblood
16   Posted 08/08/2007 at 13:39:05

Report abuse

More and more we are seeing and hearing this fkn shite from the antikirkby lot, its getting very repetitive and makes me wonder do they care that there are plenty of evertonians living outside the city? me for one, ive never considered myself a liverpudlian as much as a proud evertonian, supporting the pride of merseyside.
big blue bill
17   Posted 08/08/2007 at 13:53:14

Report abuse

idiot
Kevin Sparke
18   Posted 08/08/2007 at 15:01:19

Report abuse

Very good Peter!
Simon
19   Posted 08/08/2007 at 15:01:20

Report abuse

Umm...I take it you think Kirkby is a bad idea then?

They say the club is using scare tactics, well here is full proof that some fans are using that too.
Clare Evans
20   Posted 08/08/2007 at 15:12:50

Report abuse

Funny article because some people will be stupid enough to believe it!

The KEIOC brigade are getting ever more desperate with their propaganda!!!

COYB
Joe Rourke
21   Posted 08/08/2007 at 15:44:59

Report abuse

?Nil Mercor Nisi Tescoii? ? ?Shop Only At Tesco?s.?...theres a tee-shirt in this surely!!!...well done Peter! nice piece...its funny to see the reaction here though - like you have struck a raw nerve or two...
big blue bill
22   Posted 08/08/2007 at 16:46:14

Report abuse

Kirkby here we come!!
Steve Claringbold
23   Posted 08/08/2007 at 17:32:25

Report abuse

I suppose when you were writing this you were pissing yourself weren’t you?

Sorry to tell you though, it ain’t funny. If it was on the BBC it would come with canned laughter.
Jim lloyd
24   Posted 08/08/2007 at 19:29:54

Report abuse

I think the article was trying to present a projection of the future which is worrying a lot of Evertonians, me included. There are a lot of issues in this proposed move, not just financial, although that is obviously a massive component.
The picture painted is a bit over the top, I think, but it tries to portray the importance that the leaving of Liverpool will have on our club.
All the other issues are important but in my humble opinion the writer of the article is right about the massive importance of moving out of the city. I have read comments which say Kirkby is in Liverpool, well it isn’t. It’s full of scousers but it isn’t in Liverpool. I’ve also read comments saying that it doesn’t matter where we play, we will still be Everton. I believe it does matter. I believe it is vital for us to stay in Liverpool.The fear, and I know it is something that I may not be able to prove but my fear is that if we leave this city we will begin to lose our support from future generations within the city. The flag flown at anfield,"One club, one city, one name" will just be the start.Certainly, a lot of Evertonians will bring up their kids to be Blues but over time the link with our city will go. So on this issue alone I think we ought to weigh things up very carefully before voting. We cannot put this right if it turns out as a lot of us fear it will.
We have a couple of weeks in which to use our votes, if this is so, then I want to see what the Council come up with. If there is any alternative to moving out of the cit, I will vote for it. If ther is no alternative, just why have we been given the vote?
MIke Kay
25   Posted 08/08/2007 at 20:41:47

Report abuse

Absolute drivel and not remotely funny.

Afetr reading Paddy Shennan’s little piece in the Echo - there must be a job opportunity in that rag for you - because he talked a load of crap as well.
Bob Turner
26   Posted 08/08/2007 at 20:58:10

Report abuse

The funniest thing about this is your "ironic" quote that "hindsight is 20/20" - as always, everyone who sees the move to Kirkby as bad KNOWS exactly what the future holds! I wish they’d stop being so fucking patronising trying to pass their predictions as FACT. Nostradamus would be proud of you!

When you’ve passed your Fortune Telling exams, then you can come to us and tell us what’s going to happen - until then, yours views are no more valid than the rest of us, as they are just OPINIONS!!
art
27   Posted 08/08/2007 at 21:12:58

Report abuse

one part of what I found to be a tongue-in-cheek post that I think we may regret in a few years time , inner city land will be worth a lot more than the peanuts we will give up Goodison for.. and yes Peter , there are some people posting on here who have had a sense of humour by-pass !
strangers from space
28   Posted 08/08/2007 at 23:08:16

Report abuse

Of course this is funny you humourless humans!
Have you never heard of the story about the emperor’s new clothes?

For the cretins:
Bill - emperor
Bully - tailor
yessies- mindless common folk unable to come to their own conclusions about anything.
Matteff
29   Posted 09/08/2007 at 11:20:40

Report abuse

Peter,

Perfectly pitched but it would appear that alot of Evertonians have lost their sense of humour. While reading the lamentable responses I couldn’t help but think of those poor Americans who barricaded themselves in basements or rand fleeing for the woods when H.G.Wells’ War of the Worlds was broadcast on US radio.

However, some of the responses are just shamefully spiteful, a feeling that is perpetuating itself amongst Evertonians with alarming regularity. I just hope some of this virulent passion is actually chanelled with a bit more imagination and unison this Saturday. It hurts to admit it but the atmosphere at Goodison (apart from when we’re winning) belies the idea that we are still in love with the Grand Old Lady - it isn’t the players job to provoke atmosphere but it is ours to generate one, it’s our club not theirs and as we often read on these pages, we’ll all still be here (or there) long after they’ve gone.
M James
30   Posted 09/08/2007 at 12:17:03

Report abuse

Dan Mckie ............. If we were heading for our 20th straight title at the Kings Dock surely the article would not be about staying at Goodison would it?
Dan Mckie
31   Posted 09/08/2007 at 13:53:14

Report abuse

The article doesnt once mention staying at Goodison M James,its just slagging Kirkby! :)
Julian
32   Posted 09/08/2007 at 16:19:28

Report abuse

Very amusing.

Of course one could write an equally amusing piece about how the club in 2032 has prospered in Kirkby, and how silly it seems looking back at 2007 that some people were against moving!

Also (more seriously) why (according to "no" supporters) is it only a stadium in Kirkby that would inevitably be delayed/cost more than currently suggested/need knocking down in 25 years? Would The Loop or a redeveloped Goodison somehow be immune to this?
M James
33   Posted 10/08/2007 at 08:24:40

Report abuse

Dan Mckie, You’ve missed your own point! You invited him to write a piece regarding staying at goodison, then went on to assume the article would involve heading for our 20th straight title at the Kings Dock! Why would we be at Kings Dock in article about staying a Goodison??
J.Connolly
34   Posted 10/08/2007 at 11:38:46

Report abuse

This article is just going too far for me. It’s not tongue in cheek, it reeks of a desperate man trying to poison the minds of the undecided.

There are a couple of things I will say. Everton are not known as a Liverpool team, they are known as a Merseyside team and moving to Kirkby wont change that! We will still be ’Merseyside Club Everton.’.

Liverpool FC have always and will always be associated with the City of Liverpool because they are bloody called Liverpool. That wont change!

Anyone who knows North Liverpool i.e. Sefton and Knowsley are fully aware that the new ground is only a 5 minute drive from Fazakerley Hospital, not the other side of the world.

And people who say Kirkby is not in Liverpool, well neither is Bootle, Seaforth, Litherland, Crosby, Waterloo, Maghull, Netherton, Melling. These areas house the bulk of Evertons local support so try telling these people that a five minute drive from Fazakerley Hospital is gonna make ’em support Liverpool.

You anti-Kirkby lot need to realise that this is a golden opportunity for EFC. For me and many other sensible Evertonians, the move to Kirkby does not destroy our history, it secures it!
Paul Mills
35   Posted 15/08/2007 at 21:56:18

Report abuse

what a load of crap .......tesco are trying to move everton forward into a town thats prospering at a massive rate and thats why tesco have done a study of where to invest their money.........no matter how to try to block this move it will go ahead because everton also want to move forward to a prospering area......I cant wait

Add Your Comments

In order to post a comment to Column articles, you need to be logged in as a registered user of the site.

Log in now

Or Sign up as a ToffeeWeb Member — it's free, takes just a few minutes and will allow you to post your comments on articles and MailBag submissions across the site.



© ToffeeWeb
Menu
OK

We use cookies to enhance your experience on ToffeeWeb and to enable certain features. By using the website you are consenting to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.