It's been a menace on your mind quite often. The excitement, the passion, the fear, the dread, the nervousness, and in some cases I know of, the hatred of it, in Work, School, on the bus, or out in the garden with your kids. These are the moments where you?ve probably taken a minute or so to just thinking and hoping We?ll beat THEM. If you take an extra moment or too, you start to daydream about how we're going to beat them, by how much, at what end, and how you're going to celebrate. You can almost picture the goals being scored, the players wheeling away in celebration, and the fans going absolutely mental.
Thought processes like this go on and on. If you're in work you can't work, and if you're in school you can't try, if you're talking to your best mate/dad who happens to be (unfortunately in both my cases) a red, you can't speak, and when your mum talks to you, you're unable to listen. Bring on Monday, bring on Sunday is all that is in your head.
I most definitely have my own idea of what would be a utopian unravelling of events, listed below, for either, preferably both, of the two games. This Utopia is one that?s been in my head since April 1999 when Robbie Fowler levelled Olivier Dacourt?s 40-second opener. I?ve been there many times since, 9 to be exact, witnessed two 0-0 draws, and 7 rather painful defeats, and a lot of other stuff to go with it. What I want to happen in either/both of these two games has had a lot of time to manifest its clarity in my mind. Especially having only had the pleasure, despite numerous times of being in attendance, of only seeing ONE derby victory when Carsley scored, that was good enough, and that was at Goodison. So the yearning for a victory at Anfield is something I can literally taste... it?ll taste better than any fine wine, champagne, lasagna or cheesecake. In short, it?ll be payback for 10 years of under-achievement against our Red and White cousins across the park.
My Utopia goes something like this, picture it if you can. This applies to both League & Cup games, we don't want to mess up both don?t we? By the Sunday they?ll be sick of the sight of us.
Set off for the pub. In a mood like I will be on day like this, I will be desperate to avoid and will manage not viewing any article relating to Liverpool presenting itself in front of me, especially Liverpool shirts or those beloved stupid scarfs they're so fond of wearing, particularly as I once saw, in summer, when they wear three!
I, unlike every other time and every other derby, will as usual be in the pub early only this time, I will be calm, relaxed, not a nervous wreck sitting on the floor in the corner chewing my nails, ignoring the pint of Guinness I bought myself, and not ignoring the endless text messages off my Kopite Dad to see whether I?m alright, and actually have the bollocks to speak to him, whatever little we can both manage. I will try as I and everyone else always does not to overdo it on the ale. As I gradually get more drunk, I go into my ?Zone?. This is where the Utopia really comes out, goes into overdrive and I lose all sense of what?s around me, and I let it flow.
It?s a picture of the big, magnificence of the Kop, the arrogance of it, the pressure they throw on their team's players, the expectation, and the hope that within the first five minutes Everton Football Club will stick all that up their noses and settle my nerves as well by Cahill ghosting in at the far post and well and truly silencing their lot. Hopefully this will also help our songs, in the whole joy of the situation, stem from topics only involving EVERTON.
In situations like that, you expect a rocky ride; you have to... you have to earn something like this ? it can't just be given to you. I?d love to see their hopes rise that they're going to get back into the game and, just as they think they are, we break away on the counter-attack, you can hear their inrush of breath go to an exhalation of pure tension, whilst Osman rushes 20 yards unchallenged towards the onrushing Reina guarding the Anfield Road net with every last one of the 6,100 Evertonians behind it holding their breath...
SLOT IT LEON SLOT IT LAD??.YES! FUCKING YES. STICK THAT KOPITES.
Leon, keeps his cool, slots it round the keeper into the empty net, giving those urchins a big slice of humble pie and our own satisfaction that we?ve ruined their league and cup hopes. Then the realisation that something you?ve desired to see for YEARS has finally happened and the feeling of elation finally makes its way flowing through your body, along with dozens of other delighted Evertonians who will hopefully and probably be heading in the general direction of the pub for quite a large lock out, laughing at all the Liverpool home fans coaches with ?Stoke? and ?Bristol? written all over them along the way.
That?s my utopia. I might even wager it with Ladbrokes. So come on Blues, let's shut them up, do ourselves proud and get the bragging rights back on our side, and hopefully, some silverware in the process as well.
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1 Posted 07/01/2009 at 08:12:15
2 Posted 07/01/2009 at 09:10:15
3 Posted 07/01/2009 at 09:20:26
4 Posted 07/01/2009 at 09:30:22
5 Posted 07/01/2009 at 11:51:11
6 Posted 07/01/2009 at 12:07:41
No, in all fairness I just want to see us actually fight this time and not roll over and die like the last two derbies. If we work our balls off and get beat, so be it. It will be hard to accept but as long as we walk out of it with our heads held high, thats my priority personally. They are beatable if you work hard. Any other season and they would NOT be top of the league. Dream land here, but imagine we put 3 or 4 past the fuckers?
Since City away, the team have grown their bollocks back. This is the perfect opportunity to cement this!
7 Posted 07/01/2009 at 12:37:07
1. Shocking refereeing decision towards the RS resulting in a goal wiped out for Everton and a penalty or 2 for the shower
2. One of our players will be sent off for next to nothing whilst Stevie G(BH) chases the ref around the pitch flapping his arms around claiming his inocence after cutting Osman in half
3. We will be branded ?thuggish? Everton for trying to get stuck in and the games will be seen as Beauty V The Beast, with the lovely game coming out winner.
8 Posted 07/01/2009 at 14:22:59
9 Posted 07/01/2009 at 14:31:23
10 Posted 07/01/2009 at 16:13:53
I?m hoping with all my being for a win in either game but I just cant see it happening. Sorry to be negative already... I hate derby day... I really do..
11 Posted 07/01/2009 at 16:37:53
12 Posted 07/01/2009 at 17:09:03
13 Posted 07/01/2009 at 17:36:39
all the kopites will be in tears while the blue boys will be laughing!! COYB!!
14 Posted 07/01/2009 at 18:16:06
1 out the 2 will do me... but the cup would be more giigles as we get Torquay or someone in the 5th Round.
15 Posted 07/01/2009 at 20:56:03
16 Posted 07/01/2009 at 22:35:13
17 Posted 07/01/2009 at 23:14:45
Particularly at times like these some of the bretheren get a little tribal, and might brand someone from as far away as Ellesmere Port (see Wikipedia) as unworthy. This will pass, and the good times will come. Keep the faith. Amen.
18 Posted 07/01/2009 at 23:54:01
19 Posted 08/01/2009 at 00:48:11
Personally, as long as we win at least one of them I?ll be happy (I would lean towards the FA Cup) but the sheer mind-boggling thought that we?d beat them twice is just too much to contemplate! NOT because it can?t be done (I have every belief we can do ?em twice) but the sheer drunken, delirious, happy, state I?d be in if that happened doesn?t bear thinking about!
An added bonus would be seeing that wanker Gerrard get red-carded.... oh, and Kuyt too! That would be even better!
20 Posted 08/01/2009 at 02:39:00
I as fucking scared as you are. We are all screaming for Redshite blood right now, but I hate to imagine how we would feel should we exit the FA Cup (our only remaining hope for long-overdue silverware) at the hands of the Shite. I admit to being a coward!
21 Posted 08/01/2009 at 03:28:40
I hope Gerrard gets booked for diving at Anfield but I’m not holding my breath. Sorry. COYB.
22 Posted 08/01/2009 at 08:57:46
23 Posted 08/01/2009 at 09:28:35
24 Posted 08/01/2009 at 09:41:50
When I sat and watched the draw last Sunday and the Shite came out the hat first I just knew (as did many of you I?m sure) that we would be next. It felt like destiny, it also felt like my chances of making it to the end of the month alcohol free had completely disappeared.
25 Posted 08/01/2009 at 10:46:37
Like many old buggers, I’ve seen everything in derbies from; the late Maine Road offside robbery from dickhead ref Clive Thomas; Andy Kings top corner winner at the Park End; the painfull 0-5 drubbing at GP and Sharpy’s classic at Anfield.
I’m in Brisbane these days but hope Moyesy fires the boys up so we play like 2nd half of the Manure game and get stuck into the bastards.
2-1 for us in the EPL and 1-0 for the Cup will do for me........ with Steve GBH watching from his cell with Jan Molby.
26 Posted 08/01/2009 at 13:18:03
27 Posted 08/01/2009 at 13:35:47
Would you rather:
a) lose in the league (and they go on to win the Premier League) and win in the cup (and we go on to win the FA Cup)?
b) win in the league (and they lose the league by 3 points) and lose in the cup (and neither club win the FA Cup)?
Would you take a trophy for them taking a trophy OR would you rather not take the Cup so they don?t take the league.
Silly question I know but I?m interested in the opinions...
28 Posted 08/01/2009 at 15:09:50
29 Posted 08/01/2009 at 15:00:56
B for sure.
30 Posted 08/01/2009 at 15:18:09
I’d rather scenario A because I’m DESPERATE for success. I really really wanna win something. 13 years ago is too long (I was there).
I just want our day out in the sun, even if it meant that shite having theirs too...
31 Posted 08/01/2009 at 15:50:00
32 Posted 08/01/2009 at 17:35:39
Neither (option B).
Do you hate them MORE than you love us?
33 Posted 08/01/2009 at 17:40:08
34 Posted 08/01/2009 at 18:36:20
Mark my words.....we do not fare well against that lot because of refs.
35 Posted 08/01/2009 at 20:42:13
36 Posted 09/01/2009 at 06:56:52
Post of the week, funny stuff.
I didn't realise how much I too hated that fucken twig in the Liver bird's mouth, until you pointed it out.
When are you going to finish your list ?
37 Posted 09/01/2009 at 17:40:06
38 Posted 09/01/2009 at 23:13:32
You seem to have forgotten the obvious, or are you too young to remember?
I still wear my "I hate Emlyn Hughes" badge at every game I go to!