This will be my 5th full marathon in about 6 years and now I'm pushing 40 in September. I know I'll be at the point of sobbing from mile 20. If any of you have ever done a marathon, you will know what I mean. It's horrible, but for some daft reason I plod on in the hope I am going to break into the magical top 4 (hours that is). In a strange kind of way it's like being an Everton fan. Only I've got no chance of ever winning.
Ok to the point. I mentioned mile 20 onwards which is like hell on earth and I will be in much need of real inspiration. My IPod Nano has got the worst songs on it. Don't laugh - "The Long and Winding Road", "I'm running up that road", "Here I am a million miles from home" is pitiful and radio one DJ and Everton fan, comedy Dave, would cringe.
Not exactly the inspirational melodies that will inject the much required adrenaline to overcome the dreaded "wall". Lucozade Sport is like a class A drug (I would imagine) but shouts from well meaning, posh, middle class, middle England Chelsea fans shouting "nearly there", "not far now", "well done, have a jelly baby" is effing annoying because you start to believe them after a while.
It's at this point, I want to be able to whip out my Nano from my thigh hugging, just above the knee cycling shorts, and turn to the section I've simply labelled "Everton". I can already feel the rush filtering down to my tired limbs as I remember the first recording is the 8 minutes I got off YouTube for the penalty shoot out. Volume cranked up, I should breeze though the City of London and docklands like a loony with a cheesy grin. Who needs a melted piece of Mars bar off a cockney now. But it's from mile 21 to 25 where you lot come in.
I need suggestions and links to any inspirational Everton commentary moments that can be recorded onto my Nano. I need about an hours worth of things like: "And Kevin Ratcliffe walks up the famous Wembley steps to lift the FA Cup for the first time since 1966";
Or the semi final at Highbury "Ried crosses a short free kick and it's Adrian Heath who has put Everton into the Cup final"; Or the dreaded last 5 minutes against Wimbledon "And Everton have survived".
I've already got "Gosling has scored with 2 minutes of extra time left". There are loads of great moments and the list is quite long on http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=everton&aq=f
But I thought this could be a good topic for debate and suggestions from memory lane (from 1977) as well as some high points this season as it draws to a grand finale. It would also be funny, and I would be really impressed if Tony Marsh recorded a version of one of his posts and emailed it in to Toffeeweb to forward to me. "Hello my name is Tony Marsh and I love Everton, and hate players who I think are shite..etc" A sick sense of humour always helps.
By mile 26 and a bit to go I should be crawling along the Thames embankment, around the Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace and into the finishing few hundred meters. It's just got to be Z-Cars right from the beginning with the low drum roll all the way through to the end. I think I might just play this twice to get me over the line.
They also put loads of MarathonFoto people with cameras at this bit when you look a right mess and so don't want to buy the photo. But I may just have a big grin on my gob with the hallowed tune ringing in my ears. Then again, it will probably set off the waterworks. I promise to send the link to this posting after the event.
So on Sunday morning when you switch on the telly to watch MotD repeat and Everton's midweek thrashing of Chelsea followed by Saturday's dismissal of Man City, just think of where I will be. Will be wearing one of the many 100's of Mr. Men t-shirts as I'm running for Children with Leukaemia again. I've got one of those fundraising pages at http://www.bmycharity.com/ianson2009 but not started raising any funds yet. Feel free to throw in the price of a pint. It's got to be worth it if we can get a recording of Tony Marsh. This could kick off a career in comedy or he could even turn out to be the new John Motson.
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1 Posted 22/04/2009 at 14:24:30
2 Posted 22/04/2009 at 16:18:25
I’m also being disowned by my red family for doing so:
I have some football radio clips - but prob not the one’s that’ll inspire you...
3 Posted 22/04/2009 at 18:24:59
4 Posted 22/04/2009 at 19:00:55
Jamie, I will look out for the shirt. Your fundraising has put me to shame. I will have to get my email list blasted and shame all and sundrie to part with a couple of quid.
Mark - I thought I was nuts. I reckon this iPod idea will work. But watch you dont start doing Hibbo style last minute slide tackles on the moors to other runners, or Tony Marsh will be slagging you off for not being fast enough on the turn.
Hello Tony Marsh. Trying to provoke a light humoured and with m reaction to improve your TW image, but I recall you were off to Chelsea away - have you ever though of going Sky?s fan zone. Vote Tony for fanzone!!!
5 Posted 22/04/2009 at 19:53:36
6 Posted 22/04/2009 at 23:21:05
Good luck! Surely some of the post-match celebrations from Sunday available on youtube will keep you going!
I am usually in total disagreement with your views on this site, but will gladly donate to your course.
Once again, best wishes.
7 Posted 23/04/2009 at 02:12:21
8 Posted 23/04/2009 at 09:49:34
Go to the iTunes store and search on Everton - there?s an album ?Forever Everton?, I would have thought a rendition of Z-Cars would get you over the last 6 miles. You could always download an extract of the penalty shootout from the weekend but you just have to be careful you don?t cum in your lycra shorts in front of all those people!
Good luck either way.
9 Posted 23/04/2009 at 10:35:35
Although...shit, I have to say it - it’s the one event each year that I fuucking hate (always have).
It really depresses me.
Just the phrase ’fun runners’ makes me want to......spew!.
And those fellers playing Dixieland (?) ’Jazz’ and Bob bleeding Wilson, Ron Pickering, Flora, and..er..just..all sorts of twats.
I was in London a couple of years back, on the day of the marathon.
After the ’race’, I saw all these people walking about in Covent Garden wearing T-shirts with (something like) "You saw impossible, I saw the finish line"
Actually I saw self-congratulatory, self-serving BELL-END!
(Oh and we’ve aaaall seen your baco-foil capes that you DON’T need and here’s a thought - when it’s finished, why don’t you put your ’medal’ in your pocket instead of going to Pizza Express STILL wearing it round your neck at 9.30pm!! - you’re not 6 years old nob-heads! Oh and if you’re not in the first 200 to start, you don’t need to look at your 25 nicker Timex as you cross the line, coz nobody gives a shite if your time is 4 hrs 54.7 sec)
Obviously I’m NOT referring to any blues running the London Marathon - they’re all good lads.
I’m only talking about......er..everyone else involved (in any capacity).
10 Posted 23/04/2009 at 11:27:23
I think you were referring to the family and friends of well meaning, posh, middle class, middle England Chelsea fans who cheer all day.
If I get a ticket for Wembley, I may just wear my medal in anticipation of an Everton fan looking at me in digust and I?ll just say "hello EJ Ruane".
Your points did make me chuckle and I will be wearing my medal all day and on the Monday, even more so to annoy lots more people.
But they?ll know I?ve ran a marathon because I will be trailing behind the wife on Oxford steet and through bloody Harrods like a drunken, bent double, disappointed Chelsea fan who has just shit his pants after the final.
More comments please. That was funny EJ.
11 Posted 23/04/2009 at 12:54:29
It’s a like a kind of moaning Tourette’s.
Seriously - good luck.
(mumbles something under breath)
12 Posted 22/04/2009 at
13 Posted 23/04/2009 at 16:46:12
My favourite bit of commentary is not so much inspirational as hilarious, and from one of the greatest ever games: Everton Wimbledon3-2 to avoid the drop!
And the commentary I believe came from Motty as one Barry Horne collected the ball at halfway: "Horne, HORNE...Ooooooooh Horne!"
Might give you a stitch from laughing but worth looking for whilst you’re at it.
14 Posted 23/04/2009 at 18:25:52
To fight the boredom I will be dusting off the mp3 player I bought last year that has been sitting on the kitchen counter for the last six months. I think my selection of sounds will be just general music and something loud to give me a serious push towards the finish line.
Everything and anything usually goes through my head when I’m running, from this month’s gas bill to work stuff to everything Everton related. That will help with the boredom too. With the marathon being in October the season will just be getting interesting so Everton will definitely be given a lot of thought.
With regard to the blister factor, I think plenty of ball room and copious amounts of vasaline are already on standby.
E.J, I know what you mean. I have been trying not to sound like a complete egotist when it comes up in conversation. For me, there are two reasons why I’m doing it. One is that it’s knowing I have the discipline see the job through.The other is a fundraising thing.
15 Posted 23/04/2009 at 20:06:34
My next one is 2 weeks on Saturday, in Blaye (France); only 400 runners, so tiny in comparison. No need for an MP3 player, because, as well as water stops, there are wine stops. Allez Les Bleus le 30 Mai!!!
16 Posted 23/04/2009 at 20:49:35
Possibly the worst purchase i have ever made. Both versions were played on the panpipes from what I can tell and wont inspre me one little bit. Every song on there sounds awful what a dissappointment. So the search goes on.
Incidentally my first port of call for my purchase was the official site. Silly silly me should have known better.
Jamie I would sponsor you but a) your a kopite and b) I am running for Heart UK too and they have already bled me dry. Good luck anyway perhaps we can have a pint together after the run.
17 Posted 23/04/2009 at 23:11:08
Signing off now and flying down to London in the morning. I may not be back on Toffeeweb until Tuesday, so in case I’m not, good luck to all Everton fans running on Sunday.
18 Posted 24/04/2009 at 06:25:28
19 Posted 24/04/2009 at 13:47:40
20 Posted 28/04/2009 at 22:00:15
But the funniest thing was at the end amongst 30,000 runners I spotted an Everton shirt with "Red In Blue" on the back. Couldn’t believe it - a red fan running in an Everton kit (Jamie Singer above) was spotted and I called him over for a picture. For the records, I will upload the photo to www.golfballhunt.com/redinblue.jpg
For the FA Cup final I will now understand any player who falls over with cramp or can’t make a 50 yard sprint in extra time. And I will never understand why there are just some players who manage to do this and win Cups and become legends.
Finally many thanks to Jerome Payne who donated £10 to the online website. We’ve raised over £600 for Children with Leukaemia.
21 Posted 28/04/2009 at 22:00:15
But the funniest thing was at the end amongst 30,000 runners I spotted an Everton shirt with "Red In Blue" on the back. Couldn?t believe it - a red fan running in an Everton kit (Jamie Singer above) was spotted and I called him over for a picture. For the records, I will upload the photo to www.golfballhunt.com/redinblue.jpg
For the FA Cup final I will now understand any player who falls over with cramp or can?t make a 50 yard sprint in extra time. And I will never understand why there are just some players who manage to do this and win Cups and become legends.
Finally many thanks to Jerome Payne who donated £10 to the online website. We?ve raised over £600 for Children with Leukaemia.
22 Posted 30/04/2009 at 09:25:06
Must apologise for running after the blonde n not chatting for longer - she was the Blue Peter presenter who’d run a 78 mile ultra-marathon in Namibia a few weeks ago so was really interested to hear her story (and she was prettier than you ;) )
Hope you’re recovering well!
23 Posted 30/04/2009 at 13:47:54
And http://www.golfballhunt.com/tony.jpg shortly
24 Posted 30/04/2009 at 14:03:34
You can even see the Blue Peter badge on Miss Skelton if you zoom in (just in case you thought I was making that bit up!!)
25 Posted 24/05/2009 at 22:50:47
I run the Porters Lodge, on the corner of Lower Thames and Arthur Street, basicallyMile 23... I had a 3 piece rock band going on just under London Bridge... If i'd have known, I would have had Z-Cars at a million decibels my friend... If I'm still there next year, I will be seeking out the blue runners on here and work out when to Z-Car the 23-mile marker...
26 Posted 12/06/2009 at 21:37:50
27 Posted 12/06/2009 at 21:37:50