There are those who claim to have not yet hit the panic button?although I can?t imagine how. Perhaps they?re inertial or amidst of a euphoric episode. Whatever their reasons, I for one am struggling to maintain my equanimity. Nevertheless, like many other supporters I am quietly hoping that Moyes has been busily hatching a master plan behind the scenes?that he is about to unleash something miraculous. Whilst I?m certainly not one who unerringly trusts in Moyes, and I most definitely do not deify him, I was in fact cogitating this idea when it suddenly dawned on me that Moyes may be about to shock us all with a shift towards divine intervention. My suspicions are borne out by our recent association with God-fearing players.
The elusive Joao Moutinho reportedly stated, in an attempt to appease disgruntled Sporting fans;
?Right now I am at Sporting and will continue to give everything for Sporting, but the future belongs to God, as I have said in all the years that I am here.?
Then, of course, Diego Milito, when queried over his future at Real Zaragoza in light of supposed interest from Everton, Spurs, and Newcastle is on record as saying;
?I have no problem in staying. Last year I had some important offers too. I am very grateful to this club and the fans who have given me a lot and if I have to remain here, no problem. God will decide the future.?
So, what to make of this dalliance with new-found faith? Could Moyes be onto something? Are we about to embrace the Omnipotent through His earthly disciples? I mean who wouldn?t turn the other way were the ?Hand of God? to intervene in the derby to secure victory for the Blues? Perhaps our match referees could be blinded by heavenly visions and so award us penalties for no reason, or disallow the opposition?s goals. If all misguided decisions went in our favour imagine how much better off we?d be.
Maybe at the end of next season we would have accrued an extra twenty plus points according to ?The Right Result?. How good would that be? With the pope taking care of PR our fan base would multiply overnight. It wouldn?t matter where we built our new stadium or how large the capacity because fans the world over would descend upon it and fill it for every home match. What an atmosphere, with God an honorary season-ticket holder and a plethora of angels overhead we?d be infallible.
Anyhow, back down on earth as someone devoid of any religious calling I found this theory somewhat bemusing, if totally absurd. If you are a devoutly religious type I mean you no offence. I?m merely trying to keep my head when all around me others are losing theirs, whilst simultaneously trying to make sense of our club?s lack of new faces. Oh! (And, of course, I still maintain that any new stadium should remain in the city). Sometimes, I find a sense of the ridiculous is just the tonic one needs to combat these dreary times.
As for our latest target Vagner Love, I really don?t know. Godspeed, my Love?
On a final note, if we were to recruit God, surely He would constitute a hundred new signings! Signings ad infinitum even? We wouldn?t need to buy anyone. Ah! You?ve cracked it this time Mr. Moyes, what a masterstroke! ... Oh dear, I fear I?m teetering again!
Well, roll on the signings. God-willing?of course!
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1 Posted 13/08/2008 at 13:12:34
Either that or he lost EFC on a game of poker with the devil, and we were put into limbo with "Watch this space" as a means of torture.
Perhaps being an Everton supporter means we won’t have to suffer in hell as we have already served our time on Earth.
Or God forbid, lol.. God could be a Liverpool supporter, and at the moment he is just using us as light entertainment before the season starts.
Now, being a devout ish... Roman Catholic I have said more prayers than anyone I know hoping for salvation, perhaps a few more are needed.
Good post Cindy, made me smaile anyway.. something thats hard to do whilst you wait..
2 Posted 13/08/2008 at 13:24:54
3 Posted 13/08/2008 at 15:00:12
4 Posted 13/08/2008 at 15:14:18
5 Posted 13/08/2008 at 15:15:34
6 Posted 13/08/2008 at 15:33:23
7 Posted 13/08/2008 at 16:08:29
European Cups in return for their black putrid souls.
For us it will be an eternity spent in paradise (apparently it’s a bit like Spain but without the Bravo channel scruff).
For the other shower, the pits of Hell (like being part of stag do in Blackpool.....that NEVER ends).
8 Posted 13/08/2008 at 17:06:22
9 Posted 13/08/2008 at 18:41:09
10 Posted 14/08/2008 at 02:21:54
11 Posted 14/08/2008 at 06:00:49
12 Posted 14/08/2008 at 06:52:11
Now, I wonder if I could turn this water into transfers!
13 Posted 14/08/2008 at 06:57:18
The answer of course, as any Christian Brother educated supporter ( Mr Leahy ) can tell you, is as many as wants to.
14 Posted 14/08/2008 at 07:04:16
Diddle ide de de diddle e de de etc etc
15 Posted 14/08/2008 at 07:28:10
Looks like being an Everton supporter is one of the paths to heaven! Unfortunately our rewards may not be in this life!
16 Posted 14/08/2008 at 08:15:10
But it’s not cool really to mock folk who have a faith though it’s fashionable to do so in our materialistic age. I think you’ve been reading too much Richard Dawkins ’God Delusion’ kind of wallops. Anyhow have a slight heart for footballers who like all us mortals have their anxieities and insecurities, brutally short killingly compettive career, loads of uncertainty, and the sword of Damcles of injury etc. constantly hanging over one’s head. I am reminded of my childhood hero Alan Ball and his tragicaly early death, God rest his soul. Strange as it may seem many folk still believe there is a higher force on which our very lives depend and that we didn’t create ourselves or are merely made up of molecular slime (unless of course one is Liverpool supporter!). Not sure how much freewill/ divine intervention there may be in this universe but I have a terrible feeling Everton are going to need spades of the latter this coming season!
17 Posted 14/08/2008 at 11:11:31
"And now can we all turn to page 1 of our hymn books - ’Grandeth and aged is our team’
18 Posted 14/08/2008 at 11:34:17
19 Posted 14/08/2008 at 12:05:27
So maybe he is waiting for the ’right’ players to be available.......even Kaka?!!!
20 Posted 14/08/2008 at 12:48:35
for he was put on this earth to suffer..
But currently, we’re only having a few blips.. after all the whinging, hand wringing etc has been done..
We’re still at Goodison Park, we’ve still got a great team, a great a manager and great support, especially if the vocal minority whingers can now give it a rest and do what we’re supposed to do..
Support the team...
21 Posted 14/08/2008 at 13:25:13
It entirely ok for Cindy to indulge in some very gentle satire of peoples religious beliefs, for that is all they are beliefs. There are many people who don?t believe in some form of omnipotent force in the Universe. FFS this is a web site about Everton don?t take umbrage about something which is humorous and playful in tone.
22 Posted 14/08/2008 at 13:29:02
23 Posted 14/08/2008 at 14:58:02
I take no umbrage just pointing out something in the tone of the article that’s all, - a kind of unholier than thou attitude - I did say I enjoyed the article and the humour! But people generally take their beliefs seriously and fotballers are human beings who are entitled to their beliefswithout being lampooned and that’s all I was saying.
24 Posted 14/08/2008 at 15:46:01
My point is they are just beliefs and as such are open to scrutiny and a bit of satire!! It's when beliefs cannot be challenged or made fun of that we are in trouble. Should I respect everyones beliefs regardless of how barmy they sound? (Like Wyness?s belief that Kirkby was good for the long term future of the club?)
What's the difference between people who believe in alien abduction, Islam or Christianity? IMHO there is actual little difference as there is no hard evidence for any of them. In fact the people who subscribe to the little green men theory have probably done the least harm!
I also don't believe players who kiss the badge or chairman who claim they are just a fan either.
25 Posted 14/08/2008 at 17:05:26
26 Posted 14/08/2008 at 17:55:49
27 Posted 15/08/2008 at 08:05:57
28 Posted 15/08/2008 at 12:21:12
Prematch mass for me in the morning. Light a few candles and some spiritual clensing before battle, a time-honoured tradition!
29 Posted 15/08/2008 at 14:07:05
there must be some connection because trying to get through to the ticket office is like trying to get through to the Vatican.