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I am Sorry

By Anthony  Jaras :  30/08/2008 :  Comments (20) :
I am sorry for being optimistic, when the startling truth has been there to see for such a long time.

I am sorry for telling the 'Doom Merchants' that they are wrong and that I am right.

I am sorry for saying Jack Rodwell is a boy and is not ready for the first team, when today he proved that he is the only man amongst those in blue shirts around him.

I am sorry for saying that we should give the new boys a chance and mentioning their names in the same sentence as Cahill, as not even Moyes is sure about why he has signed them.

I am sorry for allowing my love for all things Everton to cloud the real isues and underlying problems at our once respected club.

I am sorry that I today paid £34 for my match ticket, £8 for parking, £4 for burger and chips, £1 for a can of coke, £3 for a programme and £3.80 for a pint of nasty warm Chang, when my car tax is due up tomorrow.

I am sorry for taking our brand new family car to the game instead of taking my 2001 Fiesta work car so that I could get my mate and I to the game quicker and in more comfort, leaving the Mrs to struggle with my 2 kids with no real boot space or air conditioning, to witness the utter shite I have just had the displeasure of witnessing.

I am sorry for telling my mates that after the Blackburn game that Everton could never play as bad. Today was worse.

I am sorry for throwing my Mrs off the computer every 5 minutes when she is trying to book a holiday or order the shopping from Asda because I want to see if we have made the big signing that BK promised.

I am sorry for 'Watching this space'.

I am sorry to my work collegues for spending a disgusting portion of my work day checking ToffeeWeb, BBC, Sky Sports, My phone to see if there is breaking news that makes me sigh with relief.

I am sorry to my hair for giving it a few more grey ones today to add to the many I have given it over the summer.

I am sorry to my mum for only taking the kids to her house for 20 minutes this morning as I had to clean the car and get ready for the match.

I am sorry to my laptop for banging the keys too hard in anger, frustration and disappointment whilst writing this article.

I now see why the sheer panic is so evident from so many of you. We are in crisis. Moyes is disillusioned. There were so few people in the ground at the end of that match, although we all booed, it is doubtful it was heard enough. I have no idea what to do. Do I boycott Everton until we next play? Do I stop logging on to ToffeeWeb in an effort to clear my mind, reduce the stress and allow my heart to heal its broken self?

I have a lot of thinking to do. As do you all.

Good luck fellow Blues, God knows, we need it.

Reader Comments

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Gareth Humphreys
1   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:04:50

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Anthony, don’t be sorry.

Its that liar kenwight who should be sorry.

Andrew Hicks
2   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:05:05

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Bluekipper is reporting that Moutinho is in Merseyside to sign deal!!
Jason Broome
3   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:07:00

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Don’t be sorry Anthony your not the one sailing the Titanic.

To turn this around will require one fat fucking rabbit and one impressively tight hat.

Jason Broome
4   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:13:33

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Let’s hope he didn’t see the game!
Jim Slade
5   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:10:39

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I am that soldier Anthony, I feel every word you wrote. I can associate with everything you said. Its time for us all to admit our wrongs. I am sorry too. I am sorry I wasted so much time this summer watching "this space" and that shite I saw today. I give up.
David Edwards
6   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:16:51

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Anthony - as a fellow optimist in recent years (after so many fallow seasons in the 70s and 90s), all I can do is acknowledge your eloquent post and advise you you are not alone.

All this sadly goes with the territory of being an Evertonian - that’s why we are such a passionate bunch of fans - because any other football fans without that commitment have long left and got themselves and their children on the success bandwagons of the Sky 4.

This summer has been an eye-opener for me, and I think this result marks a watershed in the club’s fortunes. Even if a surprise signing comes out of the bag over the next couple of days, I think some permanent damage has been done to our club’s morale - from the manager, through the squad and down to the fans. I can’t believe I’m now thinking that avoiding relegation might be our main priority now - rather than any cup or league position success. Premature pessimism - no. I think we’re in for a fight unless some big changes take place higher up in the club’s hierarchy, finances and exexcutive leadership.

But, this isn’t the time for boycotts etc...our club needs our support (albeit accompanied with some words of wisdom to our so-called leadership). Hang in there, Anthony - if you’re hurting as much as you seem to be, you’re a true fan, and boy do we need you and others now! COYBs
Bob Lanteen
7   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:34:42

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YEAH he is staying in the same hotel as Juan Román Riquelme stayed in last season when we signed him
Nick Heady
8   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:51:17

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Great post Anthony,Although you always ’sort of know’ that that is what fellow Evertonians are thinking its nice to see it in black and white that im not alone in my way of just sorry you had to write it!
Everton Carter
9   Posted 30/08/2008 at 18:34:10

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If, like Spurs, we had been playing our best team, and our strongest bench, I’d be very worried. I’d understand your worries.

We haven’t. not even close to it. we’re Jags and a kid in MF. Kids on the bench. Even the 4 players we have just got in (hopefully) will make a big difference. There are more to come.

It’s bad, but it is not like 2005 when our "best" team couldn’t win. Hell even today we should have sscored at least 3.

Bad, but unless Moyes quits (!please no!!) it will get better
Thom Coleman
10   Posted 30/08/2008 at 19:01:25

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Great post mate, I think you are not alone in the way you feel.
John Andrews
11   Posted 30/08/2008 at 19:33:42

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I feel your pain Anthony.
Jay Harris
12   Posted 30/08/2008 at 20:09:46

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Great post Anthony despite Barry no mark?s snide remark.

The worrying thing for me today was Moyes making a point of going around the pitch to shake all the player?s hands at the end.

It either means he has had enough and is going to resign or he was trying to pick them up which I doubt.

Whatever way it goes Kenwright should be man enough to resign his position. He is responsible for this situation.
Andy Crooks
13   Posted 30/08/2008 at 20:24:06

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Jay, unfortunately Kenwright will never resign. He just loves being chairman, it feeds his showbiz ego. He doesn't want a buyer for the club, he wants someone to invest money and let him keep on being boss. I am angry that I actually used to respect this man.
Anne O'Brien
14   Posted 30/08/2008 at 20:44:26

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Well said, Anthony.
Ellis Talbot
15   Posted 30/08/2008 at 20:44:39

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Anthony, I also feel your pain, deeply, although you shouldn’t feel too bad about leaving your wife with no boot space as she orders the shopping on line and gets it delivered.

Darren Dempsey
16   Posted 30/08/2008 at 22:38:31

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Look on the bright side Anthony; you've got 2 cars and you're not a kopite! COYB
Dave Campbell
17   Posted 30/08/2008 at 23:01:59

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£3.80 for a pint of Chang.

Its only £3.30 in the PE.

Sorry for paying less than you mate.
Graham Rathbone
18   Posted 31/08/2008 at 00:46:49

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Can we all stop saying that Kenwright should resign his position. As I see it he is THE major shareholder, that makes him the owner, he dosn?t work for the club, he sells up not resigns and that seems unlikely at this point.

Remember he is looking for INVESTMENT not BUYOUT 24/7 watch this space, yada yada yada whatever!

joao moutinho
19   Posted 31/08/2008 at 09:26:09

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i will sign
EJ Ruane
20   Posted 01/09/2008 at 09:46:42

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Great news Joao, welcome!!

You writing to TW has really picked me up.

I’ve had a lot of let-downs and deception from Everton and it’s good to know that you’re an up-front, honest kind of feller, who would come to a supporters site to let them know of your intention.

I am a small boy who has had my hear broken by this club, indeed my doctor said ’one more Everton-related disappointment and my heart could give out’.

Great to know this will not be the case and you are genuine

By the way, do we pronounce it ’Joe’ or ’Jow’?

(need to know so I can invent a song in your honour).

Can’t wait to see you play at Goodison (obviously, I’ll have to wait until after my operations and then see if they’ll allow me to bring in the Oxygen tanks in).

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