The Life of Dave
Scene One: A star shoots over Goodison Park as Dave appears on the pitch for the first time since moving to God?s country from the satanic mills of Preston.
Dave: I name this Club, the ?People?s Club?. All those who are with me and who abide within shall be blessed. Those who do not will be forever damned as the ?Dark Side?.
Crowd: Hail the Moyesiah, Hail!
Scene Two Five Years later. A meeting of the Goodison United For Evertonians (GUFFE) revolutionary committee.
GUFFE Leader: So, in summary, I say get rid of Dave and his Mum Billy. They?ve brought us nothing but misery and despair. The football is crap, I could manage the team far better given the chance. In short what have the Everton management ever done for us?
Revolutionary One: Well he did save us from relegation in his first season????
Rev Two: plus he got rid of loads of dead wood whilst improving our league position from annual relegation candidates to a consistent top six side???
Rev Three: and he made great signings like Saint Timothy of Cahill and the Blessed Arteta????.
GUFFE Leader: Yes! Yes !, saviour from relegation, got shut of the preening Ginola and gave us new faith with the Sainted Tim, but, apart from that, what has Dave ever done for us?..................
Rev One: well he did get us our highest ever Premier League finish???
Rev Two: we qualified for back to back seasons in Europe for the first time since we were ruled by the Pharoahs????.
Rev Three: does doing it all without the same money as the managers from the rich lands of Analfield, Trafford and the Emirates count? P> GUFFE Leader: I give up, the revolution will never come, if you lot can?t see the bleeding obvious. We will never reach the Promised Land with Dave and his Mum leading us. Scene Three: Weeks later, on Goodison Road, Dave (with his Mum carrying his suitcase), is leaving for the last time to take charge of his new flock; the adoring disciples in the land of the Tyne. The massed crowd of GUFFE are cheering.
GUFFE Leader: At last, we have rid ourselves of the accursed Dave ! A new Leader will soon be amongst us and will take us to the Promised Land and on the way we will continue to live on fresh air and hope! The Moyesiah is gone.
Dave?s Mum: He?s not the Moyesiah! He?s just a very naughty boy!
Scene Ends with all singing ?Always Look on the Bright side of Life?
Cast: Dave Moyes as the Moyesiah. Bill Kenwright as Dave?s Mum. Tony Marsh as GUFFE Leader.
I know it?s not exactly Shakespeare but it was just for fun, folks!
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1 Posted 30/09/2008 at 15:25:48
2 Posted 30/09/2008 at 15:18:44
3 Posted 30/09/2008 at 15:51:51
4 Posted 30/09/2008 at 16:03:52
Apart from falling at the final hurdle last season and missing out on 4th place( we had that spot in our grasp and threw it away), a Carling Cup final and getting further in the UEFA Cup, it was an improvement on 2006/7 and far better than 2005/6. But apart from last season it has been up and down with David Moyes. 7th place followed by 17th and an appalling points total, 4th place then followed by 11th place and a minus 15 goal difference. Can we match 5th, 6th or even 7th this season ? At the moment some people think a top ten finish is fine !!
5 Posted 30/09/2008 at 16:28:53
?Tenth is Good?
6 Posted 30/09/2008 at 16:46:50
Is that like the Tenth Commandment where we shouldn’t covet thy neighbours wife (nor his ox)? I have often coveted my neighbour’s wife :0)
7 Posted 30/09/2008 at 16:50:03
8 Posted 30/09/2008 at 16:51:57
9 Posted 30/09/2008 at 17:00:48
10 Posted 30/09/2008 at 17:12:24
11 Posted 30/09/2008 at 17:11:25
Ah, back to the good old days - such is the Everton way :0) Sometimes it would be so much easier if I hadn?t been blessed with seeing the Holy Trinity at their peak........
12 Posted 30/09/2008 at 17:26:23
13 Posted 30/09/2008 at 17:49:53
Fuck off were Evertonians united for Goodison lol
14 Posted 30/09/2008 at 18:00:50
15 Posted 30/09/2008 at 17:58:38
16 Posted 30/09/2008 at 18:08:07
17 Posted 30/09/2008 at 18:19:19
Bwian is now going to watch the latics
and now i feel weeweesed ,good luck Everton but i can’t be arsed any more after 46 years.
18 Posted 30/09/2008 at 20:32:33
19 Posted 01/10/2008 at 09:10:45
Jumping up and down. Shouting.
"Moysie and Billy we love the long ball".
Repeat till he is stoned to death.
20 Posted 01/10/2008 at 15:37:49
21 Posted 01/10/2008 at 18:40:56
22 Posted 01/10/2008 at 19:24:39
23 Posted 01/10/2008 at 20:27:55