Toffeeweb - The Mail Bag - The thoughts of Alan Green

The Mail Bag

The thoughts of Alan Green

At a difficult period for the club, many Evertonians have probably been wondering that the mighty Alan Green thinks of it all. Wait no longer: In his column in today's "Belfast Telegraph" ? byline: "our man shoots from the lip", the Liverpool-loving pundit hits nails squarely on the head.

There is a case, he muses for "making Moyes manager of the year every year" (I'm not making this up). He adds however that "bluntly, he doesn't have a chance of meaningful success. This isn't a dig at a terrific club" he sportingly continues, "but I hope isn't forever to be seen as one of the games also-rans."

The main article in his column is a ferocious attack on Torres for betraying Green's beloved Reds. Green no longer annoys me. As he gets older, his deranged comments provide a source of wonderful entertainment. Check out his column each Tuesday in the Belfast Telegraph online...

Andy Crooks, Belfast Posted 01/02/2011 at 17:33:13

back Return to the Mail Bag

Comments

Note: the following content is not moderated or vetted by the site owners at the time of submission. Comments are the responsibility of the poster. Disclaimer

Ray Said
1 Posted 01/02/2011 at 18:47:59

Andy
i don't think you will get many here taking your advice to read anything this dick writes.

Andrew Lawrenson
2 Posted 01/02/2011 at 18:50:41

I can't stand the twat.

Oliver Molloy
3 Posted 01/02/2011 at 18:50:17

No thanks, Andy ? the man is an idiot, and do you work at this paper or what?

David Hallwood
4 Posted 01/02/2011 at 18:48:06

Andy, I truely fuckin detest that horrible bastard Alan Green, I also detest columnists that have corny tag lines ie 'he gives it to you straight' or 'he shoots from the lip' or even ' the man they tried to gag' persumably because his knowledge of football is so profound that it undermines national security.

So put Alan Green and corny tagline together, I've got something that I doubly detest, and don't actually give a flying fuck about the RS opinions ? shoots from the lip? Blows out the arse more likely. Rant over, medication time.

Andrew Lawrenson
5 Posted 01/02/2011 at 18:56:05

Post removed by moderator

Marc Williams
6 Posted 01/02/2011 at 18:54:51

Alan Green is the only man who could beat Toffeeweb's very own Doddy in a 'Talking complete & utter shite about footy' competition!

Andrew Lawrenson
7 Posted 01/02/2011 at 19:03:39

I would rather have Harry 'kebab-face' Redknapp than this twat Green in my company... although on second thoughts no... they are both slimy twats.

Tim Spring
8 Posted 01/02/2011 at 19:08:07

Andrew Lawrenson profound words there mate, you really rise above the rest with that one!

Jon Cox
9 Posted 01/02/2011 at 19:03:46

Sorry lads, dont entirely agree. "If everybody agreed.......Blah blah" I know he's a RS arsewipe but at least the guy doesn't whimp out and says what he thinks when commentating.

Unlike the rest of the limp wristed PC nancy boys we have to put up with.

And what about Alan bloody Parry? His voice is full on over sensational and dramatic even when it's a throw in FFS.

Andy Crooks
10 Posted 01/02/2011 at 19:14:34

Sorry, if I appeared to defending Green. The man is a total moron and this can be confirmed by checking out his column. He's not hard hitting, he's hilarious.

Al Reddish
11 Posted 01/02/2011 at 19:19:36

"Kebab face" ? wrong but classic!

James McGrady
12 Posted 01/02/2011 at 19:36:59

Alan Green supports Linfield, Liverpool and Rangers.

Why the fuck would anyone want to listen to his opinions?

Adrian Arnold
13 Posted 01/02/2011 at 19:59:05

Andrew Lawrenson - I think that is a bit over the top

Andrew Lawrenson
14 Posted 01/02/2011 at 20:02:35

Adrian.....which one is over the top....me hating the twat...or me calling saggy chops..kebab-face........or my little prayer about green getting cancer.....of course I dont mean that...I meant to say I hope he dies in his sleep........now thats over the top

ian robert
15 Posted 01/02/2011 at 20:29:50

post 12..Linfield and Rangers? your point?

Ian Kearney
16 Posted 01/02/2011 at 20:37:07

He's right in this instance, but even a broken clock is right twice a day, besides, he's still a cockhead

Larry Boner
17 Posted 01/02/2011 at 22:13:27

Mr Kenrick, or whoever checks out the posts on this site, you seriously need to get a grip of the insults and disgusting remarks some of these so called supporters are making.

What kind of reputation do you want ToffeeWeb to have? If it's the one I have seen over the last week or so, then I want no part of it?

I wait, to see if anything transpires, if not then take it away, I want no further part of it.

Steve Smith
18 Posted 01/02/2011 at 22:35:55

With due respect to Larry above and my apologies in advance, the following comment probably adds nothing to the debate but with any luck it will stay on here longer than it ever does on the various BBC websites that I've posted it on, so here goes.......

Alan Green is a complete twat!..

Ahhh....that's better.

David Mathieson
19 Posted 01/02/2011 at 23:39:46

Old Kebab face was charged with tax evasion and any of colour remarks he receives, he deserves, in my opinion, especially with the amount of money he earns and the current financial climate. It could be worse though, old kebab face could be a jumped up politically correct moron.

Mr Boner: Toffee Web is by far the best Everton website, official or unofficial. That is the reputation it has and deserves. I dread to think what the site would look like with you as a moderator but I imagine it would have nowhere near as many hits as it does now.

Michael Kenrick
Editorial Team
20 Posted 02/02/2011 at 00:24:48

Larry, if you have issues with specific posts, hit the Report Abuse link and we will deal with them as we see fit.

Some persons, Alan Green and Harry Redknapp to name but two, will always attract insults from Evertonians that range from ribald to distasteful, depending on your tolerance level. We can't cater for everyone's peccadilloes in this regard, but we will act on the more extreme postings.

Chad Schofield
21 Posted 02/02/2011 at 00:24:24

My favourite Rednapp reference is one I saw on here that he "has the face of a careless bee keeper"... still makes me chuckle - but then so did the name Larry Boner, so you may see my level.

Thomas Williams
22 Posted 02/02/2011 at 01:56:14

Well, it's all "melted candle" face's fault for offering £½ million for Pip... and as for that fat gobshite Green, who the hell cares what he thinks or says?

Tony J Williams
23 Posted 02/02/2011 at 08:55:51

(sarcastic font) Who is this Alan Green that people are referring to? That name means nothing to me (sarcastic font)

Sam Morrison
24 Posted 02/02/2011 at 09:12:18

I like Alan Green. Whenever I listen to the game it's the tiny details like the view from his seat, the temperature of his tea, and the prolonged sighs of his continuous exasperation that really make it a pleasurable experience.

James Elworthy
25 Posted 02/02/2011 at 09:23:44

Green never played the game at any level by the look of him and got his job winning a competition. His insults on players during his commentary make him a big turn off and I don't understand why the BBC, who will not allow him to work on TV, continue to employ him on the radio. If he is the commentator then you should do what I do, turn over... but not to Talksport if the more infuriating Stan Collymore is on.

As for his article, no thanks... because I don't really care one iota what the man thinks.

Andy Callan
26 Posted 02/02/2011 at 09:29:42

I disagree totally - Green is total cock....

He can take his patronising comments and shove em up his arse.

You obviously can't see that he's takin' the piss out of us all.

Roberto Birquet
27 Posted 02/02/2011 at 11:40:37

Toney
"sarcastic font"
---------
It's fount, not font. Bloody Microsoft
Cheers from the Campaign for Real English!

Norman Merrill
28 Posted 02/02/2011 at 12:10:56

Andy, THANKS BUT NO FUCKING THANKS, I have had the misfortune of having a conversation with the little shit. It was at a derby game at Anfield, and only that I was a guest of a good friend of mine who is a Liverpool fan, I would have been tempted to throw him down the stairs, he is a poison dwarf.

His vitriol and bile comments about Everton Football Club were disgusting. I did write to Radio 5, and got no joy but, on reflection, what did I really expect?

Andrew Gilbert
29 Posted 02/02/2011 at 12:47:56

I always turn off or put a CD on when Alan Green is on the radio while I'm driving. He used to make me feel physically sick until I took the alternatives. (It was cheaper than drugs!)

Harry the careless bee keeper made me smile! The other one that comes to mind is a boxer dog chewing a wasp!

Ray Roche
30 Posted 02/02/2011 at 13:17:02

Or a bulldog licking piss off a nettle..

Michael Upton
31 Posted 02/02/2011 at 13:24:10

I actually quite like Alan Green and I don't particularly think he favours the RS.

Don't laugh - when he commentates on the RS and they're doing badly (so quite often lately) he seems to relish talking about how poor they are.

Green refuses to buy the Sky/Premier League/isn't modern football wonderful rubbish and is not afraid to say when he's watching a stinker, which I quite like.

He huffs, moans and grumbles about the low standard of what he's watching, without paying even lip service to the PL myth.

In that, I think he's a lot like the average football fan, and a lot like a lot of Evertonians.

Without the likes of him, it would be dullards like Mike Ingham and idiots like Clive Tyldesley all round. Careful what you wish for...

Andrew Gilbert
32 Posted 02/02/2011 at 19:19:55

Omg, Gary Neville has retired what could be worse than him as a pundit?

Give me mr Green any day over him (maybe) in fact no hate em both!

Add Your Comments

In order to post a comment to the MailBag, you need to be logged in as a registered user of the site.

Log in now

Or Sign up as a ToffeeWeb Member — it's free, takes just a few minutes and will allow you to post your comments on articles and MailBag submissions across the site.