It turns out right-backs are boring. So here's a sexier article to get the mouth watering instead.

By the way, I don’t for a moment think that we will buy a striker in January. Probably a slim chance that we would loan one. But the collective mood on ToffeeWeb is that a striker is what we need – so this is a case of giving the people what they want. These are the strikers I think could be vaguely available to us.

The acid test, though: might they score more than 12 goals in season one?  I think there are only two who could do that – although others could achieve that (and more) in future seasons. And although that sounds disappointing, there is some serious talent listed here – and it is several notches above the sorts of players I'd have been listing out in recent years.

Big fee and vaguely gettable

Agahowa: The big 21-year-old Spaniard at Porto is a quality young striker with a Champions League career ahead of him. It was part of the sad fact of modern football that he was let go by Atletico Madrid for the favourable accounting treatment arising from the sale of youth products. He would probably cost £60M(+) and has 8 in 9 this season, albeit for a top club in a weak league. One of the two who might score more than 12 goals in season one with us.

Strand-Larsen: The second-best big Norwegian in the Premier League. After a cracking 14 in 35 league games last season, he has 0 goals in 6 this season for struggling Wolves. He nearly joined Newcastle Utd in summer but they found the cash to sign Woltemade instead. Priced at £50M when touted for that Newcastle move. Now off the boil... Hard to gauge what level he’s really at.

Talent

Costa: Technically excellent 21-year-old Argentine at Genoa. Plays like a young Lautaro Martinez and looks destined for a Champions League career. Just 1 goal in 8 this season but… I think Costa is the biggest talent of all in this group of options. It’d be a big fee for potential though – perhaps even as high as £45M to £55m in today’s market.

Stassin: Technically gifted Belgian 20-year-old playing in the French second division for 90s indie pop band St Etienne. Tempted there for a €10M fee and the chance of meeting Sarah Cracknall (very obscure reference). 4 goals and 3 assists in 9 this season – but at a very mediocre level. 

Abline: Technically gifted French 22-year-old playing for Nantes in the French top-flight. Not having a big scoring season. No goals and 1 assist in 8 so far.

Beier: Decent 23-year-old German striker at Dortmund, reduced to substitute appearances behind Guirassy and (ex-Wolves striker) Silva. Just 1 in 10 this season. Good technique, physique and pace... but limited track record as a goalscorer.

Breakout season

Asllani: Big 23-year-old German / Kosovan at Hoffenheim hitting good figures at the start of the season and now attracting unlikely links with Barcelona.  4 goals and 1 assist in 7 this season. But barely anything of note previously. Very hard to tell if he’s actually any good.

Etta-Eyong: Powerful 22-year-old Cameroonian playing for Levante in Spain after leaving Villarreal in summer. Unlike our mate Barry, Etta-Eyong has banged in 5 goals and 3 assists in 9 so far this season. That was for just €3M. Did we buy the wrong Villarreal striker?

Kaua Elias: 19-year-old Brazilian playing for Shakhtar Donetsk after a €17M move in January. Previously wanted by Thelwell (along with links to about 50 clubs in Europe).  Got 5 in 16 so far this season (all competitions). Could be good.

Ansah: Towering 20-year-old German / Ghanaian at Union Berlin, with 4 goals and 1 assist in 7 this season.

Loan in January

Endrick: Short-arse 19-year-old Brazilian completely frozen out by Alonso at Real Madrid. Very gifted striker. Personally, I think he’d be entirely unsuited to our (lack of) style of play... but it would be fun to have him on loan.

Gimenez: Powerful 24-year-old Mexican who was banging them in at Feyenoord but has found life tricky in Serie A after a £30M(+) move to AC Milan. Has just 1 assist and 0 goals in 7 this season. They might be prepared to let him move on.

Wahi: Repeatedly linked 22-year-old French striker of very high technical ability and pace. After allegations of various unpleasant misdemeanours, he hasn’t quite got going again. He was bought by Frankfurt in readiness to fill the boots of Marmoush and Ekitike but it’s new signing Burkardt who has done that with Wahi consigned to the bench. If he could regain form, he could become outstanding. Like a French Mason Greenwood, he might have too much baggage despite the ability – and may even tarnish the name of the club.

Loan (or even buy) in Summer 2026

Ferguson: I have it on good authority from Conor McCourt that he’s playing well for Roma despite the lack of goals. Personally, I think he’s a big talent and would be an excellent bit of recruitment for us. Still looking to get himself back on track from a goalscoring point of view though, hence he may be available.

Delap: Due to Chelsea’s weird recruitment policy and uncertain managerial situation, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of a loan for Delap next season. Alongside Agahowa, he’s the other who might score more than 12 goals in season one with us.

David: A fairly short Canadian who looked like he would have been an excellent signing when banging them in for Gent when a youngster in Belgium. Shone at Lille and earned himself a move to Juventus on a free this summer. But hasn’t really worked out (1 goal in 8) since they also have Openda and Vlahovic.

By popular demand

Richarlison: Without this man’s guts and determination, we could well be playing third-tier football and resolving administration issues. I’m not mad keen on the idea of going back, but who knows... Why not? If he’s available (especially on loan), then it could be like Ross and Rachel finally getting together in Friends with the spell at Spurs being “we were on a break”.

Not a striker

Zirkzee: It could be a case of third time (at least) lucky with a player who we’ve been linked with since he was 16. Often described as a striker when he is, in fact, not a striker. He is a highly technical Number 10 – like, say, Cantona – and not suited to the Number 9 position at all (unless playing in a Klopp-style 4-3-3 where the goals, pace, and running in behind comes from the wing-forwards).

Reader Comments (5)

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Mal van Schaick
1 Posted 22/10/2025 at 20:12:34
Devlin assist for Portsmouth last night to add to his good stats.
Robert Tressell
2 Posted 22/10/2025 at 20:24:54
What are these good stats, Mal?

Transfermarkt says he has 2 goals and 4 assists in 70 games for Portsmouth.

Mike Gaynes
3 Posted 22/10/2025 at 20:31:46
Mike and Robert, Richarlison may be doomed at Spurs. They're reportedly out front for Vlahović from Juventus, and if they get him, Richi will never see the pitch again.

Personally, I'd rather see us go in big for Vlahović but he's really expensive and on a big contract.

Phil Roberts
4 Posted 22/10/2025 at 21:28:46
All currently playing in Europe.
I know it is hard to get the details but when Watford bought Richy, where from? Brasil.
Why are we not able to pick up bargains like that?
Mike Gaynes
5 Posted 22/10/2025 at 21:52:30
Phil, Charly Alcarez is on the phone for you.

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