Two Dutch Party Animals...

I suppose it could be a dodgy translation.

While he digs in his memory the cases quiet poem with clarification. "With Andy van der Meyde, I got your number by Johnny Heitinga".

"Hi man, nice that you are calling." "Royston, I hear that you are on your way to Everton", sounds concerned. "Don't do it boy, I beg you, don't do it. Liverpool has too many temptations for guys like us. Before you know it you become the nightclubs in dragged. Beware that you your career is not broke ... ".

Royston Drenthe interrupts the caller. Andy's wild stories he knows through via. Although he has some escapades can laugh, He finds it unfortunate that Andy no longer plays soccer. In the field he had like to not fit in front of a Van der Meyde.

"No worries man, I go here all for football. You know, I dare not to say out loud. But I stand at the European Championships in 2012. I go for it, brother ". Andy's concerns were not appeased.

"Promise me you didn't go to the Newz Bar. There flows Bacardi by the WCS and you can ski on cocaine. And the women, Royston. O man, o man, o man. Those English women with their short skirts, "said a voice in which regret and longing for times past each other the hand shaking.

"Don't worry, bro. I'm more mature. They get me going insane. I go here flames. ""Great to hear. Can I ask you occasionally reading? ", asks Andy. "Sure man." "Ok, love you at odds with and always keep your eyes open for other clubs man. Because that Bar you can the European Championships cost "Newz. The former Feyenoord player hangs on. Fine cock, which Andy, but what a busybody.

A small three weeks later scores Royston his first goal, the 3-1 at Wigan Athletic. Come home reads a text message from Andy.

"Congratulations on your first goal. On to the EK! ". Sympathetic, judge Royston. Answers does he later yet though. Now first take pieces and soon a small drink on the success of today. Andy continues to send messages during the season, also as Royston play less. More and more often it remains silent on the other side.

Andy must stand by and watch Royston after the summer break no new club. Stories about wild parties, fast cars and poker parties reach Andy. Hopefully it's not true.

December 2012. Royston saunters through the Rotterdam koopgoot looking for Christmas presents for his family. If he runs, he holds in his stride along the Bruna. Andy looks at him from the display case. "No mercy", reads Royston. He steps in, picks up a book from the pile and grist two dozen euros, the spoils of an evening of poker with friends, out of his pocket and throws it on the desk. "This please".

It is a while ago, read. But the biography of Andy is in a sigh. Shortly before Christmas sends a sms to his comrade Royston. "Do you know if there is anything to do in Vladikavkaz? Regards, RR ".

Andy replies, "I'm going for you figure out. Let me hear ". Van der Meyde gives his wife and kids a kiss on the forehead. "Papa, help a friend".

Less than half a day later, he checked into the Aleksandrovskiy Grand Hotel. Shower and eau de cologne on and Andy is ready for the Vladikavkazaanse night life.

Andy returns home after three days of research. "No nut to do. Ugly women. The coast is clear", he sends to Royston. That was bombed in 2010 and that 25 Vladikavkaz kilometers further, in Beslan, in 2004 more than 300 people perished in a hostage drama, let Andy. "Anything is better than the Newz Bar", he argues.

I'm not sure what a lot of that means but I know think in a Dutch accent.

1 - Cokehead
2 - Still at the club, although currently defending like he is on Coke
3 - Cokehead
4 - Failed his medical (traces of coke anyone?)

I don't think the Moyesiah will be bringing any more Dutch players to Goodison.