The Mail Bag

In Memoriam

Comments (42)

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence Johnny Todd and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message ?Everton are Dead?,
Put blue and white scarves round the necks of the public doves,
(The traffic cops in Kirkby are going to need boxing gloves).

Everton were my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought our club would last for ever? boy I was wrong.

The season ticket?s not wanted now: you can have it back;
You can stick your Kirkby stadium up your fat hairy crack;
With your ?fast food franchises? and watered down ale.
You can buy the bread-heads Bill ? but this heart is not for sale.

The spirit of ?Everton from Everton? is officially gone
And the lads who fought at Normandy and the trenches of the Somme
Wouldn?t thank you for your calculated clinical corporate decision
Because your short term expedience is culturally lacking in vision

And when in years to come in our ?one club? city
When the only team is Liverpool, (and they?re still shitty!)
And your lad says to you ?Dad? how did we get in this mess?
You can look him in the eye and say ? ?Son, I voted ?Yes?

(With apologies to W H Auden)
Kevin  Sparke, Northumberland     Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:37:52

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Wayne Francis
1   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:47:43

Oh, what wit.
Mark Creevy
2   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:46:38

Nice poem. How long have you been working on that?

The point is, Man City, Sunderland, Derby, Arsenal et al haven’t died a death since moving, so why will Everton?

It’s not like we’re Leeds United, is it?
tony ainscough
3   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:50:16

What a load of Fucking shite
Steve Hogan
4   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:50:18

I’m a little suprised at your reaction Kevin, I used to enjoy your ’fact’ based articles. All that’s missing from your latest contribution is a pipers lament.

Is this just the start of the weeping and wailing from the NO camp.

For gods sake accept the decision which the MAJORITY voted on.
Matt Geraghty
5   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:49:26

There was a team who played in blue,
They were much bigger than me - or you.
They wanted to move grounds,
The majority said sound,
But the arl’arses wanted to stay in situ.
Dan Brierley
6   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:51:37

I think its fantastic that people from Northumberland are so passionate about Everton.

Give the farmer some credit, he has been fighting foot and mouth all year for fucks sake.
Peter Fearon
7   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:58:17

Kevin, you can’t explain this to people who don’t get it and you don’t have to with people who do. Well done.
Mike Allison
8   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:48:20

When does the official period of mourning end? I totally understand why people didn’t want to move, I don’t even know how I’d have voted if I’d been eligible, but the facts are in now, we are moving, so there is no debate. The mudslinging, as harmful as it was, was kind of understandable while people were trying to influence the decision about their beloved club, you all wanted what you thought was best for Everton Football Club, and you tried to achieve that.

Okay, so you disagreed on what ’the best’ was for the club, but you all had the same interest at heart, and you’re all on the same side. Look now, and see what’s best for the club, it certainly isn’t having its fans sniping at each other. There is only one course of action for every Everton fan now, support the team, support the club, support each other.

Things often don’t go your way in life, and when that happens, you make the best of whatever the situation is. I believe that, as ever in life, the situation is not as bad as some of you think, and not as good as the rest of you think. We are very much in the balance as a club, with such a massive, historic and divisive decision having been taken, this is the time we need to be one, together and blue.

The club is not dead, not by any means, in fact, the club may well have just been given the boost that prevents it from dying a slow painful death (I’m not saying it has, none of us know). It depends on us, and how we react. A negative outlook will generally breed negative results, a postivie outlook can do the opposite. The doom and gloom merchants will inevitably stand accused of wanting the club to fail to prove themselves right. Show us this isn’t true, get behind the team, and do your bit, whatever that may be, to help this next stage in our history work, as it is dependent on the fans.
craig Taylor
9   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:58:49

Sad, sad, sad and pointless bollocks.
This is moving the club in the right direction.

In life we do not always get what we want, we have to live with it.

We are moving stadium, not changing our name, our history, club, our team.

Time to support Everton FC you numpty
Rob Hamilton
10   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:50:10

Adjective: pretentious (pritenshus)

1. Making claim to or creating an appearance of importance or distinction.

2. Intended to attract notice and impress others.

3. Writing shit poetry.

4. Behaving like a twat.

(With apologies to The Oxford-English Dictionary)
paul c
11   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:59:03

I get well pissed when the club and other yes wankers state that the majority of Evertonians are in favour of relocating to Kirkby. I and all of my mates are as blue as they come, but alas we don’t own shares or can’t afford season tickets, however everyone of us are against this move. Give the ordinary supporter like me a vote, and i’ll gurantee an overwhelming NO vote.
Bill Latimer
12   Posted 24/08/2007 at 12:59:07

For God’s sake fellers, get a grip. I know everyone has got a bit het up over recent weeks and months, so I’m not having a go at any of you - I’m just suggesting that everyone take a moment to calm down.

The poem is clever and funny (and now the vote is in, no threat to anyone), so just appreciate it for itself, even though the message it contains is arguably nonsense. The time for snarling at each other is surely now past.

Why can’t we all just get along ? (He said, possibly pushing the triteness just a bit too far).
brian
13   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:06:40

and paul c, how would you stop people unconnected to the club voting?
Tony Fryer
14   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:09:29

Paul C. It’s been said before (not in reference to yourself of course)that just cos you and all your circle of mates has one opinion it doesn’t mean that you are a decent cross section of the vote and you shouldn’t claim to know the minds of other ordinary supporters. Everyone I know was a yes voter but I certainly wasn’t expecting a 100% yes vote.
paul c
15   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:16:15

Brian, you can’t gurantee to stop those not connected with the club voting. But lets get something straight, you would have to be either a sad twat or a kopite to want to get inviolved in the politics of another club.
paul c
16   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:27:13

Tony, I wasn’t expecting a 100% no vote either. Thinking more on the lines of 99%.
Kevin Sparke
17   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:20:25

Mike Allison, I do take your point re ’the situation is not as bad as some of you think, and not as good as the rest of you think’

However, I’m not able to reconcile myself to the position that moving Everton FC out of the City of Liverpool is not a blunder of colossal proportions and believe me I’ve thought about it quite a bit.

I really do hope I am wrong and will be very happy indeed if I am eventually proved to be.

But, voting ’yes’ to me represents an absolute step into the unknown...

We should have held out for a City based location.
Shaun Brennan
18   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:29:30

I always follow everton, sit in a half empty shiny new stadium.

it will happen.

however i’ll have a tear in my eye.

i voted no

love and faith are blind.
alan rollinson
19   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:11:15

stop fooling yourselves.
Everton at goodison is sadly champagne lifestyle with lemonade money.
Every business man who passes goodison road slowly does so like a disinterested house buyer not even bothering to stop.
Yes we all love our club but sadly football is big business these days and the big money men put big money in to get big money out and our present home cannot give us that.
I have as many memories as most and i will purchase one of those goodison bricks when sold by the club engraved with my three sons names on it and also my fathers.
The spade will fall on the new ground in kirkby and the investors will roll in sadly thats the way it is......
Steve
20   Posted 24/08/2007 at 13:38:59

get well pissed when the club and other yes wankers state that the majority of Evertonians are in favour of relocating to Kirkby. I and all of my mates are as blue as they come, but alas we don?t own shares or can?t afford season tickets, however everyone of us are against this move. Give the ordinary supporter like me a vote, and i?ll gurantee an overwhelming NO vote.

------------------------------

So you & all your mates don’t want Kirkby - so what?

You didn’t get a vote - so what?

59% of those who were entitled to a vote - voted for the move - so what makes you think that all Evertonian’s that weren’t entitled to a vote - would have agreed with you & your mates?

The odds are that the %age would have been the same. All of the Blues I know that weren’t entitled to vote - would have voted Yes.


Craig Taylor
21   Posted 24/08/2007 at 14:12:11

Paul C you are an unrealistic prick.

I wasnt able to vote as either but the vote was carried out in the fairest way possible.

if the result had been in your favour you would have been saying that it was fair and the best way of stopping redshite fans messing it up. Also unless you live on a different planet their are plenty of sad twats around who would mess it up.
Anyway just for the record I would have voted yes
andrew brown
22   Posted 24/08/2007 at 14:18:24

NO FRILLS!
craig stanley
23   Posted 24/08/2007 at 14:12:34

i come from doncaster and i didnt get a vote,but while im reading these comments i feel i wouldnt know what to vote,ive said on this web site the only way forward for this mighty club is to move and if its to kirkby then so be it,but now the vote in and we are moving and seeing all this upset between the fans(which i belive are the best in the world)i hope we arnt making a massive mistake im just woundering if any the yes voters are feeling this way,im not having a go at anybody im just feeling that now we are leaving goodison,are we making a mistake,or im i just feeling sad that its coming to an end of such good days at the groung ive been going to for 22 years.
paul c
24   Posted 24/08/2007 at 14:26:13

Craig, pity this wasn’t a face to face forum, as I would kick your sad arse all the way to Kirkby if you dared call me a prick to my face. Get your point across by all means, but don’t get personal lad.
Matt Geraghty
25   Posted 24/08/2007 at 14:46:11

Well said Paul C - there’s no need for personal insults.
In my experience, people start throwing insults when their argument is poor, and they have run out of things to say.
A Codd
26   Posted 24/08/2007 at 14:53:47

"get well pissed when the club and other yes wankers state that the majority of Evertonians are in favour of relocating to Kirkby"
followed by
"Craig, pity this wasn?t a face to face forum, as I would kick your sad arse all the way to Kirkby if you dared call me a prick to my face. Get your point across by all means, but don?t get personal lad"

You Kind of contradict yourself Paul.
I voted yes because I happen to think its for the good of the club
Colin Potter
27   Posted 24/08/2007 at 15:01:57

Simply great poem Kevin!!obviously wasted on the Mr quick fix its!
Kevin Sparke
28   Posted 24/08/2007 at 15:08:00

Rob Hamilton - rhymes with nob

1. A type of ad hominem argument employed when the user is unable to engage in reasoned debate

2. A shithouse who hides behind Internet anonymity to trade insults

3. Probably someone with a very little dick - (not including the visible one on his head)

I could go on... but I’m debating with the grown ups
Gavin Ramejkis
29   Posted 24/08/2007 at 15:29:50

Kevin many thanks for your version of a great Auden piece, sad to say it’s wasted on the childish gloating and mud slinging, just the type we now have years to listen to from the RS strangely enough. You are simply wasting your time.
paul c
30   Posted 24/08/2007 at 15:36:49

A.Codd. The word wankers was used to generalise and not personalise. Thanks for your comments though.
A codd
31   Posted 24/08/2007 at 15:55:54

So lets get this straight,
You are generalising that everyone who voted yes are wankers?
So isnt this an example of using vulgar and derogative language to berate a fellow evertonians opinions.
When you start slinging insults around then it is getting personal and it also kind of weakens any argument you present on the grounds that this is how children act.
Also the threat of physical violence on an internet makes look even more of a child.
My dads bigger than your dad eh?
paul c
32   Posted 24/08/2007 at 16:05:09

My dad is bigger than yours. He’s 6’3.
Brian Wolf
33   Posted 24/08/2007 at 16:28:30

You can stick that shite poem up your big fat hair crack.
Mike Hunt
34   Posted 24/08/2007 at 16:45:01

Kevin, I empathise with your feelings, but surely your duty as an Evertonian is not to invoke fear and unhappiness at this pivotal time? I assume though you are big enough to support Everton in future, even though most voting Evertonians diagree with your view of the proposed move?
COYB
Mike Allison
35   Posted 24/08/2007 at 17:01:20

I know it was a bit long, but please read my comment again. Insulting and slagging each other off now is A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME and can only do harm and no good to us the fans and therefore the club in general. The debate, whichever side of it you were on, is over. Feel free to ignore someone you don’t agree with, but the anger that invokes the use of ’wanker’, ’prick’ and ’dickhead’ is pointless, and makes us all look like idiots. If I was a red reading this I’d be laughing my arse off.
Kevin Sparke
36   Posted 24/08/2007 at 17:29:44

Mike Hunt, I’ll be supporting Everton until the the day I expire mate.

I just do not see where the club is going to get the extra 12,000 supporters to fill the ’Tesco No Frills Stadium’.

Why would any business want to entertian it’s corporate clients in Kirkby?

Why are we marginalising our team?




Brian Finnigan
37   Posted 24/08/2007 at 17:53:34

Steve.....it’s over according to you so why persist with the lies. You say that 59% of those who were eligible to vote, voted yes. Simply not true.....41.5% of those who were eligible to vote, voted yes.
Brian Wolf
38   Posted 24/08/2007 at 18:07:07

Yes 15,230 59.27%
NO 10,468 40.73%
Brian Finnigan
39   Posted 24/08/2007 at 18:57:36

Now Brian Wolf is doing it......you can tell what lies you like but it won’t change the fact that only 41.5% of those eligible to vote, voted yes. Steve and Brian Wolf must be looking for a job with Wyness or Professor Tom....neither of them bother too much about mathematical accuracy either. Get used to the fact that it will be the FORTY-TWO PERCENT STADIUM and not the FIFTY-NINE PERCENT STADIUM.
Andy N
40   Posted 24/08/2007 at 20:49:37

Dramatic, but sums it up for me Kevin. Agree with Peter Fearon that you won’t get through to those trying to clear their conscience (and it’s too late anyway) - those who understand need to explanation; those that don’t... don’t matter.
The Everton we all love has now changed for ever; but you never know, we might get the premier league to change our fixtures so they don’t clash with Super League then all these extra fans from Knowsley will be able to come and fill our new shiny seats!
Mike Hunt
41   Posted 25/08/2007 at 05:59:25

Kevin, in reply: ’just do not see where the club is going to get the extra 12,000 supporters to fill the ?Tesco No Frills Stadium?. Re this, I believe the increase in attendence will come from the ’new stadium effect’ and hopefully the attractiveness and success of the team on the field.

’Why would any business want to entertain it?s corporate clients in Kirkby?’ Due to the quality of the facility and attractiveness of the team on and off the pitch, IMHO.

’Why are we marginalising our team?’ I feel Kirkby is very much in Everton territory and the team will succeed and therefore will be better placed to bring joy and succcess to the Everton faithful. If we did not move, or moved somewhere that necessitated massive and crippling debt e.g. the loop? then the on pitch performance would suffer massively due to the financial straight jacket...that truly would marginalise the team because we’d be unable to compete effectievly with the Shite on or off the pitch.

I feel you are far too overly pessimistic. The best thing now is surely for the entire fanbase (other than those who are not committed to the cause of course) to get on with supporting EFC wholeheartedly and look forward not back. Onward Evertonians!
Mike Neely
42   Posted 25/08/2007 at 08:11:19

Paul.C

Paul,I,m afraid I just don,t see how anyone can,t afford aseason ticket.Interest rates have been so low over recent years that buying aseason ticket "on the drip" adds very little to the price with 12 months to pay.For the extras it gives you,like first dibs at cup tickets and votes on new grounds it seems logical to get a loan.
This isn,t a dig Paul I honestly believe that the more people who have season tickets the better off the club would be.We may even have had a different result in the ballot.
I voted for further negotiations with Tesco and Knowsley,but if the vote had gone the other way I would have accepted it and gotten on with my life.I would however have feared for the future of the club,because no matter how many other sites have been mentioned no one has shown me a viable financial package.

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