ToffeeWeb - Season 2007-08

The Mail Bag

Club Sold

I have it on good authority that Bill Kenwright has sold all his shares in Everton Football Club as of last Monday to a Geordie Millionare for £120M pounds.
David Foster, Formby, Lancashire Posted 13/09/2007 at 22:43:32

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Rumour of the year, that. Almost as good as Riquelme... and that one almost turned out to be true!

Phil Bellis
1 Posted 14/09/2007 at 00:26:17

One of my clients is Organised Fraud Investigation at Longbenton; a senior official told me he’d heard Everton FC is moving to Gateshead. 2 = 2 ??

Michael Tracey
2 Posted 14/09/2007 at 00:53:26

One can only hope this is true! Bill can take his great mate Keith with him as well. Terry Tesco I’m sure will have jobs waiting for them.

Freddie Shepherd
3 Posted 14/09/2007 at 01:04:55

This was supposed to be under wraps till next week, but as it’s out I’ll tell you all now its true. We look forward to a long succesful spell at the helm of Everton, and we will be looking to replace the manager straight away. Graeme Souness is top of list of priorities.

Gerard Madden
4 Posted 14/09/2007 at 01:01:38

Hilarious stuff! I know this is a joke (obviously) but the club can’t simply just change hands ’just like that’ as Tommy Cooper would say. Like what David Moores had to do at LFC before their takeover there would have to be a statement made to the stock exchange beforehand (even though like EFC they’re not a listed company) that the club was under offer and that ’due diligance’ was taking place. And no way are Kenwrights shares worth £120M.:lol:

John F Kennedy
5 Posted 14/09/2007 at 01:08:04

Will the new stadium be called the Grassy Knoll?

Paul Conatzer
6 Posted 14/09/2007 at 01:13:03

A Geordie millionaire, so Sting has bought Everton?. I couldn’t resist.

Peter Pridgeon
7 Posted 14/09/2007 at 01:18:40

Dont you just love these "i Have it on good authority" stories, does it make them feel important or something.

Roy coyne
8 Posted 14/09/2007 at 02:53:41

Just as toffeeweb had finally got Colms cash to put in a offer for the club I blame Lyndon for not acting quicker mind you Michael was a bit slow to chip in as well

Michael Kenrick
9 Posted 14/09/2007 at 04:00:08

Yeah, I guess the cat is now outta the bag. All the money we have raked in from running this website over the years as enabled us to buy out Bill Kenwright, who took no issue with the controversial knowledge that Lyndon has successfully run this website from his humble miner’s hovel on the outskirts of Newcastle, saving every penny of the massive advertising income in order fullfil a lifelong dream he has had since he was a spotty lad in the Boys Pen...

Our first step will be to replace the negative and non-achieving Moyes with an umproven but outspoken and self-confessed expert on the game ? no other than Tony Marsh. He has promised to hold weekly internet discussion sessions to solicit input from ToffeeWeb readers (except anyone who voted Yes) before each game. Oh, and Richard Dodd will be appointed Head of Communications.

Yes indeed... exciting times ahead

Kevin Sparke
10 Posted 14/09/2007 at 09:03:11

Dave Foster speaks the truth... I know this because I saw Alan Shearer on the Metro reading a book called ’Teach Yourself Scouse’

... it’s all falling into place

Mark Creevy
11 Posted 14/09/2007 at 09:17:19

So some pleb has Everton valued at £480m? Only an absolute prat with no knowledge of football would think that.

So when is Freddie making his big announcement?

Michael Tracey
12 Posted 14/09/2007 at 09:34:08

’So some pleb has Everton valued at £480m? Only an absolute prat with no knowledge of football would think that’

Couldn’t of put it better myself Mark, but maybe you should of said smug pleb! Because thats how he comes across.

James Elworthy
13 Posted 14/09/2007 at 09:45:38

Kenwright would never sell up he loves the ego trip of being chairman

Richard Dodd
14 Posted 14/09/2007 at 09:43:18

Everybody in Formby knows Dave Foster as a wind-up merchant whose sympathies lie with the Dark Side.How can you print this drivel?Blue Bill will NEVER desert us!

Peter Singer
15 Posted 14/09/2007 at 10:08:58

Michael, I hope you start off with offloading AJ on a free as he’s utterly shite. Can we at least have a vote on that?

harry catterick
16 Posted 14/09/2007 at 10:32:01

god I’m dizzy

Fritz Spiegl (RIP) & Frank Shaw
17 Posted 14/09/2007 at 12:01:39

It’s ’Lern Yerself Scouse’

Tony Marsh
18 Posted 14/09/2007 at 13:30:20

HELLO HELLO GAZZA IS BACK GAZZA IS BACK HELLO HELLO GAZZA......

Alan Clarke
19 Posted 14/09/2007 at 16:52:32

I have it on good authority that Kenwright has sold all his chairs for his latest production in the West End not shares! David Foster, you were almost right - there is a bus load of barcodes on their way down to London as we speak.

willo
20 Posted 14/09/2007 at 18:00:46

With a bit of luck he will take those KEIOC wankers with him!! Demo tomorrow after the game!!! I’m so pissed off with them I’m glad I voted yes! what’s the point of having a vote if you dont accept the result fuck off! As usual scousers love to be the victim. I knew this would happen I see these people at the away games and its all self publicity and i for one will be telling them tomorrow. Was looking forward to the game now am piss off. Hurry up Freddie!!!

the wisp
21 Posted 14/09/2007 at 21:08:54

Doesn’t matter where they move us to, eh Willo? I’m sure you won’t mind following us to the North East; we’ll still be Everton wherever we play, won’t we?

Gavin Ramejkis
22 Posted 14/09/2007 at 21:37:39

Dickie if half of Formby know this bloke as a RS wind up merchant what do the other half, the poor sods subjected to your Beloved Chairman Bill loved up sermons call you?

Total B*llox
23 Posted 14/09/2007 at 23:01:37

Get a life

Alan Shearer
24 Posted 15/09/2007 at 00:01:17

Ok,
Yes it’s me that bought Everton but the 120 mill is way off the mark, it was £1-20p.
My reason for buying was sentimental, as I scored my bestest ever goal against Everton and I want to keep the memory.

I promise to build a new stadium, within the city boundaries next to the docks. You’ll notice the bridge over the Tyne, well it’s just north of there.
See u tomorow.
Alan
xx