ToffeeWeb - Season 2007-08

The Mail Bag

Who's A pretty Boy Then?

Listened to a female Chelsea supporter on Talk Sport Radio this morning claiming Chelsea always have the best looking managers. So the next one needs to come up to scratch.

Apart from Jose Mourhinio, who all the birds fancy, they have had such eye-candy as Hoddle, Vialli, Hullit and the tinker man Claudio Vianerri. Quite a few slices of prime cuts there dont you think? It made me laugh so I started thinking where Everton would stand in the glamourous manager stakes?

Well lets start with The Screaming Skull Gordon Lee, Light Bulb Nose Howard Kendall, Spud Head Joe Royal and Sour Face Davey Moyes. Now none of that lot could pull a muscle never mind a bird. So I reckon we are in the running for the ugliest manager's award.

Having said that there have been plenty of weather beaten kippers knocking about the leagues over the years. Give it a go for a laugh. I could do with cheeering up. Who are the ugliest managers or players you have ever seen?

By the way, was Mike Walker considered a looker back in the 90s with his bleach-blond barnett?
Tony Marsh, Liverpool Posted 22/09/2007 at 11:16:02

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Comments

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Neil Humphrey
1 Posted 22/09/2007 at 15:42:05

Tony

Much as I’m happy that you’ve posted something that isnt a rant at the EFC establishment, isnt this a little... ’fruity’? And besides, no-one can hold a torch to Ian Dowie in the ugly manager/player stakes. He looks like Sloth from The Goonies.

James Elworthy
2 Posted 22/09/2007 at 15:44:07

I thought the tinkermans name was Ranieri and it was Gullit.

Can you have a picture of yourself posted so we can have a look at you, you might get a female fan club.
Surely Liverpool managers and coaches are uglier Thomson, Lee, Benitez, Paisley, Souness, Fagan, and of course Tommy Smith I think he coached too.

paul okell
3 Posted 22/09/2007 at 15:49:15

Walker had silver hair not blonde.

Tony Miller
4 Posted 22/09/2007 at 15:51:29

A bit off track but at least it alows a rest from other things this week.

How about Sammy Lee could give anyone a run for their monet. I am sure I saw him in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Moyes Golumn I think not but Sammy yes he has just had a bit too much to eat lately. Precious.

Brian Waring
5 Posted 22/09/2007 at 16:09:33

God, your living dangerously Tony.You’ll have all the apologists on your case now,for daring to say Moyes is ugly.Ugliest player,hands down,the winner is that ugly fucker,Luke Chadwick!

Michael Newton
6 Posted 22/09/2007 at 16:32:27

Thats why Chelsea want Redknapp on the coaching staff as he is a pretty boy and that Grant is an ugly fucker

Dave Lynch
7 Posted 22/09/2007 at 16:59:06

The ugliest duo must be Thompson and Neil with that sad 70s perm.
Throw in Criag Bellamy and Wes Craven is sorted for his next movie.
On the pure hatred stakes.
Anyone beat Emlyn Hughes.

Michael Newton
8 Posted 22/09/2007 at 17:41:17

Just one point Tony are you a pretty boy as the possible next manager of Everton if you are then you will break the mould.
See you in Garlands later Tony

Tom Hughes
9 Posted 22/09/2007 at 17:55:16

Pejic?

Cracking full back though

Tony Marsh
10 Posted 22/09/2007 at 17:57:30

Actually Micheal Newton I am a good looking Bastard.6ft Blue Eyes the works mate.Garlands is a bit fruity for me how about the Wine Lodge on Charlotte Street?/As for Ugly EFC still hold the title for ugliest player ever to kick a ball...Mike Pejic.Jim Pearson[minus falsies] was not far behind.

albert velthuijsen
11 Posted 22/09/2007 at 18:07:05

peter crough and dirk cunt.

Mike Hunt
12 Posted 22/09/2007 at 18:14:21

Tony you are a big fucking puff posting that girly wank! Get back to your bile and hate mate else they’ll be bringing on the white coats for ya! ;-)

Anthony Newell
13 Posted 22/09/2007 at 18:16:08

I personally think that Steve Bruce is one ugly get with a face you would like to punch. Always hated the bastard but I’ll make exception for today after stifling them jerks

PS David Burrows must figure in the ugly stakes somewhere?

Brian Waring
14 Posted 22/09/2007 at 18:18:10

Nothing to do with the thread,just after a bit of help.My little attended one of those Everton in the community courses,and we recieved a voucher for cheap tickets for the Boro game.We sent of and recieved our tickets for the lower gwladys street(they were actually supposed to be for the family enclosure,tut,tut)Thing is I havn’t been in the street end for years,and I,m trying to work out how far back the seats are,but can’t picture it.Can anyone let me know how far back row KK is?My little lad is only 8,so I want him to be able to see.

Michael Newton
15 Posted 22/09/2007 at 19:00:07

Tony I will have a Chardonnay ready and waiting for you later

sir oliver reed
16 Posted 22/09/2007 at 19:51:01

dion dublin could have been a great "ugly" for everton...great big packet too...so the missus tells me!

hang tough..sir O!

sir oliver reed
17 Posted 22/09/2007 at 19:51:01

dion dublin could have been a great "ugly" for everton...great big packet too...so the missus tells me!

hang tough..sir O!

Kristian Boyce
18 Posted 22/09/2007 at 19:54:50

How can anyone forget Mark Pembridge, he still gives me nightmares to this day.

Gavin Ramejkis
19 Posted 22/09/2007 at 19:44:49

Jim Smith has always reminded me of a WW2 German Helmet, Steve McLaren looks like his face is the victim of 3rd degree burns and for christs sake just shave of that tuft at the front and accept being a slaphead. Ugly players stakes Pejic was a monster and I’d say most of the RS players for the last 30 odd years, Beardsley has to be up there, Horsey Head Van Nistelrooy Donkey and Shrek and they sold us the ugliest Chuckle Brother

gordon lee
20 Posted 22/09/2007 at 21:48:11

tony marsh outside NOW

Richard Dodd
21 Posted 22/09/2007 at 22:23:44

How dare you suggest that Our Davey is anything but the most handsome manager in our history and certainly the best looking in the Premier League.Only last year he was voted ’The Man we most like to...’by the students of North East Lancashire College.Just think what progress we’ve made in this department since the gory days of Walter Smith!
And who could possibly challenge the inestimable Keith Wyness for the Most Handsome CEO crown?

Gavin Ramejkis
22 Posted 22/09/2007 at 22:47:24

Dickie think you spend too much time in the Blue Oyster if you think Ginger Balls and Fred Elliot are lookers, surprised you didn’t have to change your pants but then you didn’t mention the Blue Rinse Grandma’s favourite Kenshite

Richard Dodd
23 Posted 22/09/2007 at 22:50:44

Sorry Gav,it wasn’t really me who posted that dwaddle although now you mention it I do find Blue Bill rather comely!

Anthony Newell
24 Posted 22/09/2007 at 23:16:07

PMSL at Fred Elliot!!!

Mike Allison
25 Posted 22/09/2007 at 23:56:46

I’m not sure how to take this, but my girlfriend was saying that Moyes was quite handsome the other day...

louise doyle
26 Posted 23/09/2007 at 00:33:22

I think this article needs a womans input! Now, i could tell of a fair few woman who find moysey attractive (not that i am one of them!) In terms of players though we do very well- Arteta, Cahill, Johnson, Baines, Jags, Jimmy Mc and Grav definately has something going for him though i find it hard to pinpoint what exactly!
In terms of mingers- Neville, tricky dickie wright, hibbo, tony grant- the list could be endless!
None though could beat the utter mingingness that has to be luke chadwick or sami hyypia or that lanky piece of piss crouch. Oh and if we are talking about the Goonies, Dirk Kuyt is sloth! HEY U GUYYYS!!

Paul Cook
27 Posted 23/09/2007 at 01:42:26

Anybody remember a Notts County manager called Jimmy Sirrel? Brad Pitt he fucking wasn’t!

It’s a bit unfair to compare Kuyt to Sloth. Sloth’s much sexier! :)

Paul Daly
28 Posted 23/09/2007 at 02:03:17

.......actually Everyone looks better in Everton blue.......

n merrill
29 Posted 23/09/2007 at 05:51:00

Tony, One David Pleat takes some beating, besides running across muddy fields with his best suede’s
on, he was a a nifty kerb crawler,

Lue Glover
30 Posted 23/09/2007 at 08:46:05

DM is certianly not my cup of tea but as Loiuse said, we don’t do too badly in the player department. Mikel, Jags, Nuno, Vaughan, Tim Cahill, BT when he was here but then contrast that with ...well, it would be rude to say but who cares, they pissed me off big style on Thursday night Nev and Hibbo. No, not attractive.
Martin Keown must be one of the ugliest ones EVER and Big Nev wasnt exactly a looker either.Only a mother could love those faces!
Well, this just sums up how things are at the moment - discussing who are the best lookers! Tony Marsh, how’s about a photo boyo?

Phil Oddie
31 Posted 23/09/2007 at 09:21:16

As a gay who came out years ago,I have to say that I find David Moyes alluring.Yakubu does it for me BIG TIME but Howard,Lescott and Neville-yuk!

Anthony Newell
32 Posted 23/09/2007 at 15:11:16

Phil, are you the only gay in the village?

Jarrod Prosser
33 Posted 24/09/2007 at 00:06:46

The decaying corpse of Mark Pembridge - surely!

Has anybody actually confirmed if he was alive when he was playing for us?

Mike Homfray
34 Posted 24/09/2007 at 00:30:25

Nope, I’m gay and an Evertonian. Plenty of gays in the Everton village!

Kevin Kilbane was ugly. The current squad is quite decorative though, particularly Jagielka and Cahill. Pretty sure BT won the Gay Football Supporters competition for the best looking player when he was with Southampton, though.

Matthew Hayhurst
35 Posted 24/09/2007 at 09:40:09

Phil Oddie gay? I got the impression you were into birds on your tv programme "Springwatch"!!!