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Bloody Liverpool

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I'm completely unmotivated by tomorrow's game. Certainly, if there was any motivation on my behalf it would be centred around clinging on to fifth and not challenging for fourth because, regardless of fixtures and form, the general feel of our place does not strike me as being strong enough to galvanise a tired and disillusioned squad.

The irony that our most successful season (in terms of points and cup runs) for years should end on such a downer shouldn't be lost on anyone. The reasons for this: Arteta's lack of form? a copntributing factor; injuries / small squad? a contributing factor; The bubble bursting post fiorentina? a contributing factor.

However, i can't help but think that underpinning all this doom and gloom is Liverpool's inevitable fortune/success. I know i'll get slaughtered for that, but it's how I feel. Year after year of poxy glory nights at Anfield and we get a defeat in a penalty shoot out to cling on to. The way it will always be I suppose.

The purpose of my post? To put my hands in the air and admit it's the way I feel. Just like every other blue at the moment I guess ? completely disillusioned?
Jon Sellick, Crosby     Posted 11/04/2008 at 12:46:29

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Michael Kenrick
"We don't... care... what..." [trails off into the gloom... ]
Anthony Lamb
1   Posted 10/04/2008 at 22:32:13

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I am sure that all Evertonians were as shocked as the rest of the world today at the news that Pope Benedict has sensationally resigned the Papacy. His spokesperson announcing the shock news stated the Pope's reasons as "Incontrovertible proof, emanating from Anfield the home of Liverpool FC that the fight against the power of the Devil is lost. In the light of the obvious devil worship emanating from the highest levels at Anfield and the alarming riches it continues to bring them, the Pope (a life-long Bayern fan) has resigned in a state of utter depair".

Subsequent events have only confirmed the Pope's understandable conclusions. Chelsea's crucial midfield player Essien was induced by some malign influences to raise his voice to the referee during Tuesday's QF, prompting the official to book him and thus ensure he misses the next game against the said devil worshippers. An outbreak of the deadly "custodian lurgy" has already rendered Chelsea's two first team squad keepers also unable to play and leaving Chelsea only enough time to teach a possible replacement from Aston Villa how to clap his hands without missing one of them.

The Pope was heard to utter a primeval scream from his quarters today at the news that the devil worshippers were hoping to play their trump card against the forces of light by ensuring that Chelsea are managerless for the next game by exerting pressure on Mr Grant to live up to his racial obligations (as a member of the "Chosen One's") and refrain from his duties on Holocaust Day that the devil worshippers have ensured falls on the day of the game.

We are all asked to pray for the pope in his current dilemma but to reassure him that thousand upon thousands of Evertonians world-wide fully empathise with his despair.

Shaun Sparke
2   Posted 10/04/2008 at 20:56:37

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Don?t you just hate it when?

The season is over and the transfer rumours begin
We are linked with quality and eventually buy shite
We check the internet 10 times an hour just in case we sign somebody
The transfer window closes and we feel kind of flat
We get denied another penalty
And Liverpool win again.

And don?t you just hate it when,
We never get penalties
Liverpool always get penalties
The fat waiter smiles
Gerrard scores a goal
More glory nights at Anfield
We lose a game
We get denied another penalty
And Liverpool win again

And don?t you just hate it when
Kenwright talks about Kirkby
KEIOC talk about conspiracies
Mark Lawrenson talks about Everton
Wyness talks about ANYTHING
We get denied another penalty
And Liverpool win again

And don?t you just hate it when
Neville plays in midfield
Neville plays at fullback
Neville misplaces another pass
Neville is in the starting eleven
We get denied another penalty
And Liverpool win again

And don?t you just hate it when
To finish Fourth becomes a goal
We loose to crap teams in the FA cup
We bottle it when we play the big three
We bottle it when we play Liverpool
We get denied another penalty
And Liverpool win again

And don?t you just hate it when
Mark Clattenburg referees our games
Mark Clattenburg wakes up in the morning
Mark Clattenburg takes a breath of air
Mark Clattenburg does anything
We get denied another penalty
It's no fucking wonder that Liverpool keep winning!

Patty Beesley
3   Posted 11/04/2008 at 14:34:01

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Well that lifted the doom and gloom, Shaun - really enjoyed that!!

Also Anthony?s contribution ... being of Irish Liverpool stock, I am very superstitious and have long thought that Satan appears to rule the roost at Anfield - but just remember, guys, the price for selling your soul to the Devil has to be paid and they may get theirs yet. I would just love to wipe the smug smiles off some of the bastard?s faces.
Seamus Murphy
4   Posted 11/04/2008 at 14:42:52

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I have decided to give up hoping that Liverpool lose. It’s a pointless task.
Gregory Doyle
5   Posted 11/04/2008 at 14:43:17

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Benitez is currently chasing a sacrificial chicken around melwood....
Paul Niklas
6   Posted 11/04/2008 at 14:39:25

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I was walking back across stanley Park to my car parked at Goodison, I was tapped on the shoulder by a true evertonian and died in the wool scouser who said to me following the derby.

"I hate them so much that at the moment I could not even say to any one who asked me where I am from, that I am from Liverpool. I can't say the word and dont want to any more."

It summed up exactly how I felt about them and the world of football that just puts them on a pedestal.

I do believe that's what all Evertonians should feel about Liverpool. We need to declare a state of independance from the City. The club are doing their utmost to support that any way.

City of Culture dont recognise us at all. The media don't. So fuck them all and as it says, we don't care really.

Or do we? I think we really do and it gets to us more and more, hence the derby atmosphere (they just rise to our taunting) because they are are who they are it's not picked up on.

Any way back to pretending I don't care about them and what they say and what they are perceived to be by everyone else. Ignorance is bliss at times, until the next game that is when they win and we lose to Birmingham.

Can't wait.

Call me a pessimist, I am not just a feeling that won't go away. But please don't slag me off and get personal as I am entitled to feel this way.
Kevin Tully
7   Posted 11/04/2008 at 14:47:01

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It gets worse, I was filling up my car this morning and was stuck in the middle of a conversation between two R.S. about the best flights to Moscow. At this point I had to ask if they had already beaten Chelsea and the blank looks confirmed they were the typical clueless eejits who really believe they are untouchable. Please God, let us have fourth this season.
Jay McGrady
8   Posted 11/04/2008 at 15:01:48

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I’ve got a tenner on Liverpool to win the CL, which will give me £72 return and yet I’d rather see United or Barca hammer them in the final
Peter Laing
9   Posted 11/04/2008 at 15:04:31

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The one factor that the R.S will be concerned about is that the second leg against Chelsea is not at Anfield. In previous years Mourinho got his tatics wrong and thought he would shut them out at Anfield only to come unstuck.
Peter Eastoe
10   Posted 11/04/2008 at 15:06:09

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My father was the eldest of 11 kids and the whole family were died-in-the-wool reds. As a kid my old man saw Liverpool thrash Everton 6-0 and through some sort of perverse attraction to the underdog broke with the family tradition and started supporting Everton..... the blue sheep of the family. Thank God for that 6-0 hammering or I might have been brought up the family tradition!

Like father like son and now my own kids are fanatical blues. Despite the Red silverware, supporting Liverpool to me seems like watching ITV on a Saturday night, keeping a Rottweiler on a chain outside, wearing a baseball cap backwards, wearing a medallion, driving a P reg Corsa with fluffy dice, watching tribute bands and having holidays in Benidorm.

In short LFC are common oiks. All fur coat and no knickers. I pity their poor supporters who watch a corporate circus rather than a football club.

Paul Johnson
11   Posted 11/04/2008 at 15:10:24

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Good post Jon. I feel exactly the same, demotivated and somewhat uninterested after their spawny win on Tuesday. I know I shouldn?t care but I do and if anybody can give me a sound reason why they seem to get every single big decision go in their favour and we get the opposite, then I?d be grateful. Talk to a Red and he will gloat about Stevie G and how the decisions ballance out over a season, but they simply do not. Football is heavily weighted in the favour of certain clubs and the sad fact is that the RS are one of those clubs and we most certainly are not. No wonder I go bananas when we beat the cunts.
Jason Lam
12   Posted 11/04/2008 at 15:14:57

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Thanks Shaun, great way to start the weekend. Masterpiece.
Patty Beesley
13   Posted 11/04/2008 at 15:57:21

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Asked my RS boss this afternoon who he thought would play in goal for Chelsea as their two first goal keepers were unable to play against them in the Semi-Final, adding that "everything goes your way, you jammy sods!". He asked why the goal-keepers couldn?t play and I told him one was injured and one had 50 stitches in his face through a training ground accident... he thought for a second and then said "Well why does 50 stitches in your face stop you playing in goal!!!"
Obviously thought it would be opportune for Callagher & Co to boot him in the face!! I give up!!!
John Dawson
14   Posted 11/04/2008 at 16:11:03

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The worse thing about kopites and the most delusional thing i have ever heard is that they actually think we want to be them. You couldnt script that kind of shit. I wouldnt give up 1 of our many relegation battles (i am 25) to have won their champs league as a redshite. That is all.
Ste Kenny
15   Posted 11/04/2008 at 16:45:11

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Get a fucking grip of yourselves so they beat a team full of shitbags (Arsenal) who always fold when the going gets tough and we all give up. I do care what they say and I?d care even more if we beat them to fourth and they don't win the Champions League, and we all get to witness the death of thier club/franchise. There?s only 3 points in it, so liven up and make a bit of noise next time we play at home. it?s our job to make the difference sometimes.
Chris Masey
16   Posted 11/04/2008 at 16:55:52

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I feel exactly the same, I just didn’t have the balls to say it, heart-wrenching post but true
Martin Kulkarni
17   Posted 11/04/2008 at 16:55:32

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Ste Kenny

It ain?t going to happen mate and they will win the CL.
Just give in to it, have no expectations and don?t fight it!

I guess it takes time for everyone to reach the bottom with the realisation that our past present and future is linked to the Dark Side. Learning to live with it is painful!
Anthony Newell
18   Posted 11/04/2008 at 17:31:29

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Jay McG, that’s not a bad strategy, I’m gonna put £20 on them to win and If I lose it, it will be the best £20 I ever spent
Micky Norman
19   Posted 11/04/2008 at 18:01:08

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Just think of it this way. Liverpool are 4th in a league of 4 teams. We are top of a league of 16.
Si Page
20   Posted 11/04/2008 at 18:19:43

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On Tuesday night the only words I could muster on the blower to a mate were ?I give up?. Them twats are genuinely turning me against football. It defies belief that in 4 games they can get 4 match defining decisions (Inter 2 red cards and the 2 pens against Arsenal) and every one goes in their favour. I honestly cannot believe that Arsenal, a team that excels so brilliantly at the actual art of playing football, can be fucked over by that shite wrecking style of football that that Spanish cunt employs in European games. They?re just a shower of twats and I hope bad things befall each and every one of the glory hunting pricks.
Joe Carroll
21   Posted 11/04/2008 at 18:26:19

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I know the seson's coming to a close and it doesn't seem like we've anything to play for, (I'm also bearing in mind that we are indeed Evertonians; far too used to doom and gloom over the years) but it is only 3 points (okay and 10 goals difference) but it's football, and who knows what's going to happen?

All we can do as loyal supporters is get behind the team and have a bit of fucking optimism, regardless of those lucky twats in red, because there?s 5 games left and as far as I'm concerned, a CL place still up for grabs.

If we don't believe we can still make fourth,then we blatantly never will; its all about belief (and talent, alright).

Now stop feeling sorry for ourselves, we're never gonna get anywhere by moping around cursing our luck! COYB 3 points agianst the Brum!!!
Paul Niklas
22   Posted 11/04/2008 at 18:47:50

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I think we should stop refering to them as liverpool, it's affecting my birth right.

RS is not great either.

We need something that represents that they represent less than half of merseyside and something that portrays what we really feel about them.

They are not Liverpool that's for certain.

Any ideas
Dawson Boyle
23   Posted 10/04/2008 at 12:05:32

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History has a habit of repeating itself: first as tragedy; second as farce. With this in mind, it saddens me that Liverpool FC could be on course for yet another Champions League final in as many years.

Although I?m well aware that Everton are pushing for inclusion in next year's advertising extravaganza, a part of me can?t help wishing we don?t make it. I?ve heard it said by a million lottery winners that money changes a person; therefore the same might be true of us. You don?t know what you?ve got ?til it?s gone, we most certainly will the day we finally grace this most prestigious of product placements. I don?t want to get all bleary eyed with sentimentality, but I think we?re better than all that hoopla.

I don?t want to turn into Liverpool, so entrenched in the razzmatazz of European football they forget all about the people back home; waiting eternally for a first Premier League trophy. We may not be any nearer the prize than they are, but we would certainly never give Harry Kewell a game through choice.

I?ve heard all the arguments about returning to our rightful place and that the Champions League is the only way to get there. But what is our rightful place? I would suggest it was some time in the heady days of the 1980s. When the European Cup was played out by League winners and when players would not feel duty bound to associate with the fans and did so because they wanted to, not because it was good PR.

Do we really want to associate ourselves with the money obsessive of the modern game? Sometimes you should be careful what you wish for. The Russian and Texan oil barons will be readying themselves for the latest gold rush as we speak.

In view of Liverpool?s latest success, I tried to imagine ways that could ease my guilt were we ever to qualify for the tournament via the back door. It drew me to their much lauded victory in the 2005 final and the fact that at the time of their success, they had failed to win the English league in 15 prior attempts. To make me feel better, I devised three requests to put to UEFA in readiness for our inclusion in next year?s tournament. Only then would I feel able to face all those turgid glamour ties and properly digest my Amstel.

1. The word ?Champion?s League? be removed from the trophy for the year 2005 and be replaced with a more suitable moniker such as ?European Exhibition Vase? or ?The UEFA Commemorative Cup for Effort.?

2. That Liverpool FC be expelled from the tournament until such a time as they stop devaluing all domestic competitions with the presence of Dirk Kuyt.

3. In the interest of fairness, every single team who have won the top division in England since its conception in 1888 is awarded yearly entry into the Champions League qualifying draw. This would go some way towards explaining Liverpool?s annual appearance and the baffling use of the word ?Champions.?

I will await Monsieur Platini?s answer with anticipation?

Gerard Horton
24   Posted 11/04/2008 at 19:12:05

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Good post Joe. There is plenty still to play for, we need fire in our bellies and belief that we can beat the red shite into fourth! Pessemism will not get us there! Im not criticising those with pessemistic views. In fact, I fully understand them.. years of relegation battles and getting constantly screwed over has left us always expecting the worst.

But consider the fact that we are only 3 points behind the shite. They have now got the semi-final and perhaps the final of the Champions League to concentrate on. I cant see the waiter risking the likes of Gerrard and Torres in lowly Premier League games!

Stranger things have happened...
Tony Williams
25   Posted 11/04/2008 at 19:46:28

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"2. That Liverpool FC be expelled from the tournament until such a time as they stop devaluing all domestic competitions with the presence of Dirk Kuyt"

Pissed myself laughing at that.
Neal King
26   Posted 11/04/2008 at 19:53:40

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Fucking hell guys, listen to you?s, it's no wonder were called bitter blues by them. Let's concentrate on our own team, and as for someone betting on Liverpool to win the Champions League for £72 pound, are you taking the piss, son?
Paul English
27   Posted 11/04/2008 at 20:20:40

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Come on gang we would have bitten anything off for our season.I know were all on a downer because of Arsenal letting us down,Has anyone else noticed who plays THE DOGS OF WAR ,yes its the fat waiter, what a tactical genius he’s not.spread the word.In Moyes we trust.
Paul English
28   Posted 11/04/2008 at 21:11:01

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How lovely it is to see people with my point of view! I hate Liverpool with every fibre of my body, my skin crawls every time I see those "I?ve got a ticket in a couple of weeks!",and the eternal "I?m on the season ticket waiting list!" bastards! Paul English is right with his views about the fact that the shite are the new "Dogs of War"! I am unfortunate enough to know a kopite or 3,and I can honestly say that every single 1 of them is a narrow minded Norwegian TWAT! COYB FTRS.
Mark Lancaster
29   Posted 11/04/2008 at 22:01:27

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Don?t usually post but have to try and raise the general optimism amongst you TRUE BLUES. What is up with all you pessimistic people! Regardless of what happens in the next 5 games we will finish fifth at least, with our best season, both points and football wise. We will be playing in Europe in sucessive seasons and we are developing into a strong squad capable of challenging for honours (hands up anyone who can remember saying that in the last 15 years). Are we all too hard on ourselves as Evertonians after so many slaps in the face. But don?t let the dark side grind you down. Get behind the boys cos "it?s a grand old team"
We?ve surpassed our season targets and objectives already ? can any other teams in Liverpool say this!!!

c.o.y.b
Mark Canes
30   Posted 12/04/2008 at 01:51:40

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Posting this from Canada. I recentky decided (after the derby) to stop caring about what they do unless it directly affects us. So what they do in CL now makes no difference to me, I just laughed when they got the penalty. And it actually felt good. (Call it self-hypnosis if you like).

Oh, and Paul Nilklas, in my house we simply refer to the "Red Blight".
Nick Xenos
31   Posted 12/04/2008 at 02:12:40

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If we can somehow draw level with them, I think that will give us that extra drive and belief that we can reach 4th. Consequently, the pressure will be on the shite knowing that they could be out of Champs’ League football next season if they don’t win it. With the fat waiter playing a second rate team in the league, the wheels could quite easily fall off for them.

In terms of them getting all the favourable decisions, I think it just comes down to reputation and intimidation. The Swedish ref bottled it big time and I’m sure the penalty would not of been awarded at the Emirates.

Dave Lynch
32   Posted 12/04/2008 at 11:57:24

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I made a new years resoloution.
To get up 1/2 an hour earlier so i could hate them longer.
Only resoloution i have ever kept in my life.
Harvey Smith
33   Posted 12/04/2008 at 12:44:56

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Despite the Blues performing unexpected heroics in being 5th at this stage of the season (remember Spurs were tipped to break into the Top 4 this season with VIlla hanging on their coat tails) we are, much as in 2004-05, in danger of having our season eclipsed by the army of Darkness.

In the words of Kevin Keegan, I?d luv it, just luv it if the Blues can pip them to 4th place.

But they can still qualify for the "Champions" league by winning it I hear you say.......

Rooney to finally redeem himself by scoring a 91st minute winner against them in the final, reveal "once a Blue, always a Blue" tattooed on his chest and convince Ronaldo to join him in demanding a move to the Blue half of Merseyside.

Forza Blues!
Ed MacDonald
34   Posted 12/04/2008 at 12:59:40

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Bollocks to that

They haven’t won the league in 17 years
They won’t win it in the next 17 years
They are going bankrupt
We are catching up
We know our history
They should be ashamed of theirs
Anto Meehan
35   Posted 12/04/2008 at 13:11:42

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Can?t see us winning today! SIMPLE AS!
Alan Clarke
36   Posted 12/04/2008 at 13:29:51

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Can I be controversial? Liverpool don’t have a pact with the devil. God doesn’t exist and neither does the devil and there’s no such thing as angels or gremlins or fairies or trolls.
Jon Sellick
37   Posted 12/04/2008 at 18:28:58

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?Just think of it this way. Liverpool are 4th in a league of 4 teams. We are top of a league of 16.? Micky Norman (Toffeeweb Mailbag)

?Another person?s success does not make you a failure.? Noel Edmonds (The Cosmic Order)

?I see God?s team did it again? (Dave the Blue from my work)

Baulking and biting your lip at the same time is a difficult facial configuration to pull off. But as I dived out of my red infested work?s canteen yesterday lunchtime I experienced this involuntary spasm, I?d like to say for the first time, but alas for what seems like the zillionth time.

For this is the product of being an Evertonian in a time where red is the colour and reality defying logic is their game. Time and time again I approach these ?Anfield Glory Nights? (Copywright the Meeja) with a steely willed intention to go for a drive or take my annual visit to the gym. Obviously, this never happens; I sit there, convince myself this could be the night where it turns to rat shit for them and then watch the inevitable unfold in front of my eyes. A red commented on Wednesday morning how nervous he was watching it on telly, I can?t really believe that; if I was a red I think I?d just chill out, sit back and watch the LFC victory unfold ? no need to get uptight because it always turns out ok for them in the end. Bitter and twisted? You betcha.

My escape from the canteen took me straight to the sanctuary of Toffeeweb, where I admitted my feelings in a post to the mailbag, conscious of the response from a following who prefer (quite rightly) to keep the site strictly blue and not anti-red. I was pleased with the support my posting got because it seemed to reflect the views of all the Evertonians I know ? they hate Liverpool, simple as that.

On one hand, there is no shame in that, it?s what football is all about ? good old fashioned rivalry ? and lets face it, they don?t like us much either. However, Micky Norman?s succinct post has got me thinking: is that the way to cure my bitter angst? Is it time to admit they belong to a different footballing stratosphere and save my emotion solely for EFC? That would certainly make life easier, but then as I sit here at midday waiting for Football Focus to start I can?t help but think, ?how can they belong to a different stratosphere when we could be level with them in five hours time?? Perhaps that?s were the ultimate heartbreak lies for me: the fact that we are, on one level, so close to them; the fact that our tremendous improvement coincides with their incomprehensible successes; the fact that our most successful season in years is coming to an end and all I seem to feel is apathy.

So, do Oldham Athletic fans spend hours consoling themselves after Manchester United victories? Of course they don?t. They knew very well that they wouldn?t be winning European Cups the minute they committed to the Latics; they doubtless celebrate beating Tranmere as much as United celebrate beating Tottenham; they look back to glory days like FA Cup semi finals in the nineties and winning at Goodison with as much fondness as United fans do reminiscing about the treble. The joys and despairs of supporting a football club are relative to the expectations of your own club, not the size of the others. So, by bowing to the media and applying this logic to our grand old selves, can we ease our woes? Is it time we held our hands up in the air and admitted we are a smaller club than them and so finishing top of a sixteen team league is comparable to finishing fourth in a four team league?

I know what my answer to this is, but is there anyone out there who believes this is the way forward? I hope not, I really do: I became a football fan when it all seemed so much fairer. Back then, it seemed that if they won the league one year, we won it the next; if they were in the cup final, so were we. So I?ll never accept the Oldham analogy, but I just wonder of there are those who think it is the way to ease the anguish.

Andy Callan
38   Posted 14/04/2008 at 10:52:39

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Just wonderin '....... Does anyone know if The Shite have an annual period of silence for the 39 killed at Hysel... I will bet ya a big gold pig they don't....

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