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The Mail Bag

Can't We Ban Alan Green From Goodison?

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Circumstances dictated that I had to follow the Chelsea game on Five Live last night. Once again that meant having to listen to that dreadful commentator Alan ('Good Face for Radio') Green for the majority of the match. It really was dreadful!

Now I know it's been mentioned before on ToffeeWeb, and frankly our team not producing the goods on the pitch last night didn't help our cause - but to hear him slagging off our players, club and even the grand old lady (with sarky comments about restricted views etc.) with such glee - really makes me think the club hierarchy should consider requesting that he no longer attends our home games.

Unlike others, I've no definitive proof he's a closet Liverpool fan (although the circumstantial evidence is strong), but I'm sick to death that this pompous, opinionated oaf is allowed to spread his biased views of our club to the nation as a whole (and even via the World Service) at the licence-payers expense. Please can our board think seriously about banning him from Goodison for next season!
David Edwards, Darlington     Posted 18/04/2008 at 10:27:31

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Richard Harris
1   Posted 18/04/2008 at 15:29:56

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Whether he is for us or against us, Alan Green is an inept commentator who clearly has delusions of adequacy.....
Declan Brown
2   Posted 18/04/2008 at 15:28:54

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Good post David.

I have it on great authority, this came from Alan’s Green’s own father, who lives over here in Northern Ireland that he is indeed a Liverpool supporter.

Alan Green has been trying for ages to get his father to go and watch Liverpool’s every home game but he prefers to watch the Irish League games over here in Belfast instead.

I can’t listen to him any more and have posted a few times about his attitude towards Everton FC.

If he was to be banned from Goodison i’d happily hand over the banning notice and gleefully tell him "you’re barred son, now do one and don’t let your sorry pathetic shadow darken this great club ever again".

Words cannot describe how much i loathe that slimy Koppite toad.
Simple Simon
3   Posted 18/04/2008 at 15:38:55

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It would be utterly childish to ban Alan Green from Goodison, but strangely satisfying. He’s a dreadful, creepy man and I cannot fathom out why the BBC still employs him. I’m not a violent man, but the sound of that laugh, or should I say cackle, makes me see red. If his nose was within reach of my head, there would have to be a big, big connection. So yes, let’s ban the odious, slimy little sod. Imagine the fuss it would cause? We would be headline news again, at least for a day.
Chris Marston
4   Posted 18/04/2008 at 16:09:19

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Alan Green = dicksplat
Rob Gee
5   Posted 18/04/2008 at 16:14:48

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I only caught a bit of Green?s commentary, and he was expressing shock at the way the fans expressed disappointment when Nevile?s name was announced, and why they groaned with every misplaced pass! Finger on the pulse? - I think not!
Andrew Humphrey
6   Posted 18/04/2008 at 16:54:05

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Completely agree. It wouldn’t be so bad if he ever gave us credit for good performances/wins, but somehow whenever we show what we can really do he points to a poor performance from the opposition. It sometimes sounds like he is watching a different game to the other commentator.

One particular incident sticks in my mind. It was after we got knocked out of the Champs League and his delighted vitriol knew no bounds, mocking the fans who quite rightly questioned Collina’s crucial decisions, stating that we lost the game anyway, so our chalked off goal wouldn’t have mattered! What an idiot if he can’t see that goals change games.

He also lambasted Moyes for stating at the start of that season that it was our intention to improve on 4th place. Now, that may well have been an optimistic way of looking at things, but who in their right mind would start the season by pledging to do worse than last time! At least it was a more realistic expectation than the redshites’ annual ’this is our title contender year’ prediction.
Albert Dock
7   Posted 18/04/2008 at 16:48:52

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And while we’re about it how about banning the Anfield Advertiser aka The Liverpool Echo.

This paper is getting worse by the day. Talk about biased .

One of these days I swear I’m going to read that former Liverpool ’legend’ Tommy Smith lost his house keys and on page fifty six discover that a mystery virus has ruled out the entire Everton first team squad, with four players on an iron lung, three confined to wheelchairs, and the remainder isolated in a former fever hospital.

But the good news from Anfield is that Tommy has now found his keys. They were in an old jar of Botox cream.

Guy Wilkinson
8   Posted 18/04/2008 at 16:57:50

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He?s got a face you?d never get tired of hitting...
Mike Allison
9   Posted 18/04/2008 at 16:58:35

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I’m sure Botox isn’t a cream...

Albert Dock? That name sounds familiar. Mind you, there was a guy used to win at fifteen-to-one (on Channel Four) who genuinely claimed to be called Sefton Park.
John Jones
10   Posted 18/04/2008 at 17:11:58

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I know I shouldn't be proud of myself as not the first time I've done somehting like this and probably not my last time..... but I am fortunate enough to have seats in the prawn sarnie area and last night after sitting in my seat until at least 10 minutes after the final whistle shaking my head in disbelief, I had the fortune of being 10 yards away from this moron Green .....

I took my opportunity and gave him a tirade of abuse accusing him of being "a biased red nose bastard who is a complete shite comentator "..... He just laughed with embarrasment before getting very annoyed as my verbal continued before complaining to a steward on how this type of thing shouldnt be happening to him....

After telling him to do one .... I left my seat feeling a little better.... If he didn't know how much we hate him before, then he certainly does now and he will dread having to come back for the Villa game

Brian Wolf
11   Posted 18/04/2008 at 17:34:05

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Everybody should email five live at the following link:

Express your disgust for the terrible presenter that is Alan Green.
Sam Dunning
12   Posted 18/04/2008 at 17:55:29

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Whatever Green said on Radio, we really were that awful.... Sometimes I wish they?d ban me!
Marc Williams
13   Posted 18/04/2008 at 18:11:43

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I agree with everything said above about this idiot.
I got back late last night so ended up listening to the game on five live.
I’m sure he was trying to deliberately wind us up with his comments about the Neville boos & groans and is a complete hypocrite as when Neville plays for England, Green slags off his every touch.
I’ve also heard that he was very critical of our supports songs while commentating on the recent Anfield Derby, going off on one of his pathetic ’its a complete disgrace’ rants, while ignoring the RS fans behaviour.
As he was most put out by the Stevie G song I think we should amend it to Alan G & sing it for him at the villa match.
Albert Dock
14   Posted 18/04/2008 at 18:37:54

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John Jones there’s no need to apologise for a liking for dendrobranchiata. I too have a taste for these crustacean delights.

I wouldn’t take Red Green too seriously. Like Motson, he is becoming a parody of himself.

I don’t suppose you’ve got any spare butties have you?
Jim Slade
15   Posted 18/04/2008 at 20:27:52

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I just sent a complaint to the BBC about him , I can't turn him off coz its our beloved blues but he makes me sick. Between him and that guy on Channel 5 I dunno who's worse. If I ever met Alan Green, I would slap him in the face with a big trout.
Declan Burke
16   Posted 18/04/2008 at 22:54:22

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Can?t stand the prick myself. But hey, if I were lucky enough to commentate for the beeb at Anfield, I would take the piss out of the shite at every oppurtunity.
Must say though he was right, we were crap last night and we have been for a while. Let's hope that we make him eat his words at the Villa game
roy coyne
17   Posted 19/04/2008 at 00:06:12

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Brian I took your advice and emailed a complaint but wont hold my breath

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