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The Echo

Comments (33)

Don?t you just love the Echo at this time? They have a policy to come up with a Blues story every day and our superb club PR team duly oblige. However, this all costs money and to save us the cost of the Blues PR team I have written some headlines for the next few days. May save the club a few quid...

?Lescott: we need to invest in a new ball.?

?Arteta: missing tapas scare?

?Baines: splinter nearly out of finger boost.?

?Superlambanana backs Kirkby?

?MK Dons hail EFC progress?

?Neville: Blues must eat fish?

?Blues join race for Ronaldo?

?Keioc: Kirkby leprosy claim?

?I knew in the first 5 seconds,? recalls Kenwright.

?Ground share with Marine gathers pace?

I can supply Dominic King full copy for these stories if he needs a holiday and every ToffeeWeb reader can have a copy to save 46p.
Ged Simpson, Northwich     Posted 21/06/2008 at 08:28:23

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Michael Kenrick
Heheh.... you have a point, Ged. I've been really struggling to find anything worthy of a link on the homepage. I can't remember other close-seasons being like this... I blame t'internet!
Micky Norman
1   Posted 21/06/2008 at 12:37:04

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You forgot " Plan B: groundshare with the Ruleteros- Ryanair promise cheap flights"
This has the makings of a great thread.Defo keep checking this one all weekend.
Ron Leith
2   Posted 21/06/2008 at 12:59:07

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Headline: Russian Billionaire still in prison
Alex French
3   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:13:39

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Everton CEO Keith Wyness and Tesco boss, Terry Leahy caught with their pants down
Jay Harris
4   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:31:10

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Keith Wyness resigns after discovering he miscalculated by £78 million and Kirkby will be Free after all.
Paul Maghee
5   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:29:40

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** INSERT ANY SQUAD PLAYERS NAME** : Transfers will come.
Rich Jones
6   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:35:57

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Kenwright?s search draws a blank

Bill Kenwrights search for the star of his new west end show Billy Liar has far prooved unfriutful... CAN ANYONE HELP HIM?

Alex Baker
7   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:40:39

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New growth hormone isolated by scientists - Leighton Baines agrees to be test subject for resulting experiments!!!
Jay Harris
8   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:34:04

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Keith Wyness was today reinstated after discovering he hadnt miscalculated by 78 million and Kirkby won’t be Free after all.

He then asked the fans to apologise for misleading him.
Jay Harris
9   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:59:31

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Bill Kenwright stated today that the real reason for going to Kirkby was to build a big enough treatment room for the squad, a private press room for Phil Neville to issue daily bulletins on what the team were going to achieve, and private garages for the players' Aston Martins.
Ray Said
10   Posted 21/06/2008 at 13:38:51

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Local school to supply ball boys ; ’just like a new signing claims Wyness’

KEIOC; ’Kirkby is the secret portal to Hell ’ shocking claim

Arteta; ’seen eating Spanish food again-is he on his way?

Kenwright; ’Monster, monster sponsorship from Kirkby Pies’ n ’Pasties is key to squad additions’

Terry Smith
11   Posted 21/06/2008 at 14:24:48

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I think you have missed next Sundays headlines: Riquelme spotted at JLA with the Fortress money
James Braid
12   Posted 21/06/2008 at 14:42:00

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How about "Some Evertonians moan about anything" ?
Rich Jones
13   Posted 21/06/2008 at 14:54:27

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... or "some Evertonians will believe anything", James!
Jimmy Fearns
14   Posted 21/06/2008 at 14:56:03

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Wyness secures lead role in Kenwright's new production Billy Liar
Perry Umbown
15   Posted 21/06/2008 at 14:52:37

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NEVILLE THROWS AN ACE
Everton skipper Phil Neville has once again put his neck on the line and promised that the blues will definitely win more throw-ins next season. Dominic King caught up with him at Finch Farm in the beautiful borough of Knowsley where the club captain was recounting the number of throw-ins he had last season. The blues captain said, "Last season I averaged 7.548 throws per game with a mean distance of 14.279m. This puts me right at the top of Everton’s throw-in charts and easily justifies my guaranteed starting place, but of course there is still room for improvement. Opposition players best be worried as I guarantee I will be throwing bombs into their box, especially at home where having every fan 100% behind me gives my elbows that extra strength. I recommend all fans that love seeing me throw long and hopeful balls about get their season tickets booked early in the Kirkbydome."
Kevin Sparke
16   Posted 21/06/2008 at 14:49:00

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Echo exclusive:

Moyes "Referees are wonderful".... singling out Mark Clattenburg for particular praise he added "This man is a footballing genius, decisive and unbiased... and he has definitely got 20/20 vision".

The FA have charged Moyes with bringing the game into disrepute, a spokesman for the FA made a statement suggesting that Moyes had cast doubt on Clattenburg's character by deliberately not mentioning Clattenburg?s humanitarian work for the UN and distinguished war record in Vietnam...

Brian Waring
17   Posted 21/06/2008 at 15:41:28

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James Braid, how about "James Braid lightens up and realises it?s only a bit of fun"
Graham Mccann
18   Posted 21/06/2008 at 15:46:48

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How about "Cristiano Ronaldo reveals he is in talks with Everton......"
James Braid
19   Posted 21/06/2008 at 16:00:04

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Brian Waring, Rich Jones,

Whoooooooshhhh!!!
Jim Hourigan
20   Posted 21/06/2008 at 15:58:48

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Exclusive - Growth hormones working "AJ jumped so high he saw Blackpool Tower"

Howard explains his high punts by saying he saw blue men in space.

When asked by Andy Gray what he thought the pitch was like Moyes said " green with white lines".


Adam Cunliffe
21   Posted 21/06/2008 at 16:22:40

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Tom Hicks and George Gillet are the Democratic and Republican and Democratic presedential nominations for the 2008 elections.

"Who ever wins will settle down well here"says current president George W Bush."Liverpool Soccer team and the White house aren’t so different.Over here we work with fat Americans, over there they both worked with a Fat spanish witer."
Ron Leith
22   Posted 21/06/2008 at 16:37:09

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Headline: Everton Fans look on bright side
Stuey Day
23   Posted 21/06/2008 at 16:53:22

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The Echo’s 46p now? Bloody hell!
Karl Masters
24   Posted 21/06/2008 at 18:13:46

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Wyness in Slimfast Fiasco

Neville: I want to be the new Johnny Wilkinson

Tony Marsh in Moyes Love Triangle

Bill Kenwright ate my hamster

Peter Johnson ate my hamper
Jay Harris
25   Posted 21/06/2008 at 18:29:37

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Bill Kenwright pledged 100 million and ten new signings in the morning.

The media are still waiting for him to confirm which morning.
Alex Baker
26   Posted 21/06/2008 at 22:33:29

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Exclusive:

Moyes not a natural ginger!!!
Ray Williams
27   Posted 21/06/2008 at 22:31:24

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Headline: Hazel Blears’ laptop goes missing containing thousands of names on a petition objecting to Destination Kirkby. Police wish to talk to fat CEO.
Alex French
28   Posted 21/06/2008 at 23:42:36

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Tony Marsh admits to having no sense of humour!
Phyllis Glass
29   Posted 22/06/2008 at 02:36:32

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James Braid in De la Salle/Jimmy Husband /Alan Whittle ’Wasn’t Me’ farago
Curt Manners
30   Posted 22/06/2008 at 02:48:01

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Tomorrow’s Wow!
Cilla ...James (Jim) Braid is my love child
Barry Scott
31   Posted 22/06/2008 at 17:06:54

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Canal Link could prove be EFC stadium transport solution
Bu Arua’ Vinalaff

THE Leeds and Liverpool canal link could allow Everton to set sail to Kirkby.

Today?s new hope came as Everton launched a major offensive to persuade fans to vote for a move to Kirkby.

Blues supporters and residents remain split over the development, with opposition gathering strength.

Everton?s proposed Valley Road stadium would be close to a canal route.

A spokesman from Steer Davies Gleave said ?This will be the best served stadium in the North West, if not the UK?.

British Waterways are committed to the scheme that would link the Liverpool city centre to Maghull near Kirkby and say it will bring 173 net additional local jobs to the Liverpool City Region and will bring benefits such as wider socio-economic impacts such as an improved city image, added interest to the Mersey River Festival, increased access to heritage and interpretation, and increased recreation and amenity resources to the area.

A spokesman said ?We are happy for fans to use our canal link to travel to the stadium, the stadium?s position and parking arrangements are clearly suitable for a 50,000 stadium ? we are just trying to help. If you see a canal barge traveling towards the stadium, try and hitchhike.?

It is understood that fans traveling by canal will be able to park closer to the stadium than those who use the park and ride or park and walk scheme..

A club official said ?the transport plan is still a work in progress? but welcomed the idea of traveling by barge as part of a ?green solution?.

The scheme that links Kirkby with Liverpool city centre is expected to be open in Spring 2009 in time for the stadiums opening in 2010 should it be given the green light.

The Leeds and Liverpool Canal is the longest canal in Northern England at 127 miles long.
Ged Simpson
32   Posted 23/06/2008 at 06:23:09

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Glad we all respect the media
Guy Wilkinson
33   Posted 23/06/2008 at 15:04:20

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Clattenburg & Stevie-me; The love that dare not speak it?s name.

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