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Guess What? Andy Van Der Meyde is nearly ready for a comeback. Did you know he's only been out for ten weeks!
Andrew Cunningham, Australia     Posted 10/10/2008 at 13:38:06

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Matt Bone
1   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:01:39

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He has been out for a long time with an injury that usually heals in about half the time it has taken for him. I decided that Moyes was just refusing to play him. It will be interesting to see if he gets an opportunity and to see how he performs. We need competition in midfield, I?m just not sure he will provide it.

On a seperate note, I think Moyes persists with the Yak for too long in games where is ineffective. I felt particularly in the last game that he should have subbed him on the hour mark.
Connor Rohrer
2   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:03:02

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He could be a useful squad player, nothing more nothing less really. With seven subs aloud and us having our usually injury crisis he might get a chance.

If he wants to contribute I have no problems with that. Hopefully he does. I’m not getting my hopes up though.
Tom Edwards
3   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:05:02

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I just wish we knew the full story with AVDM. He is either a very unfortunate individual who has had more than his fair share of personal and professional strife or a malingering tosser who makes the most of every opportunity to take a pay cheque for nothing.

Will the truth ever come out?
Ciarán McGlone
4   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:15:33

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As far as i’m aware he’s on about 30k a week...useful squad player?

He should be shot out of a cannon.

I don’t know how he has the brasss neck to do those daft editorial pieces on the official site. The man is a disgrace.

But then again....he’s merely another example of our ’buy the chronically sick and hope they are lazarus’ transfer policy..

He did exactly the same at inter...was that warning enough? Was it fúck!
Connor Rohrer
5   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:15:16

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I think he’s had problems for some time now, even is his days in Holland there where rumours about his personal life.

I think he’s mentally weak, he’s also injury prone. I think he wants to play but he just can’t keep himself in the right place.

Such a shame really, a sad story.
Graham Nolan
6   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:23:28

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Sorry, I have never heard of Andy Van Der Meyde. Dunno who he is, where he is from or what he does. Does he even exist or are yis only messing?
Nick Broadhurst
7   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:26:33

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To be fair to him, in what was a really dismal pre-season, he was pretty much our best player by far in the games before he injured himself.

I for one think his experience will be invaluble to us on his return to the squad, especially in the current situation we find ourselves in. When fully fit, I'd throw him straight into the first XI.
Andy Crooks
8   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:29:44

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Give AVDM a break. He has had dreadful luck and while some of his troubles are self-inflicted many aren?t. He is the best crosser of a ball at the club and given a decent run in the side I believe he can turn his career around. He owes us so give him a chance to pay us back.
Ciarán McGlone
9   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:38:53

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How much of a break would you like us to give him... because obviously 3 years is not enough? How about 5 years? A decade? How about we just make him club chariman?
Andrew Cunningham
10   Posted 10/10/2008 at 14:29:18

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Hey Ciaran!
For £30k a week, I?d love to be cannon fodder. lol;)
James Marshall
11   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:07:33

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The problem is, that people have got to the point where they think he?s doing it on purpose ? getting injured and having personal-life fuck-ups which have stopped him playing for so many reasons.

There?s no doubt the bloke's a quality player, one of the best players we have by far; we?ve just never seen (any) enough of it.

He was easily our best player pre-season and would be well handy if (IF) he could stay fit and not piss his career away.

Will it ever happen? Fuck knows!
Mark Wynne
12   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:11:47

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Comeback? I never knew he’d been "in" in the first place.
Colin Smith
13   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:07:55

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Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Give VdM a go; if he bombs are we any worse off than before? Not really, we would just have confirmed, what a lot of us already suspect ? that he is "a malingering tosser".
Tony Marsh
14   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:14:38

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Andy Crooks, ADVM is an arsehole waste of space. If he is not shacking up with lapdancers and putting them up the duff, leaning on the bar in the Baby Blue at 2:00am in the morning, or reporting being spiked, he is driving around in flash sports cars with the gobshites he knocks about with sitting next to him.

Shandy Andy is a joke of a man as far as football is concerned and should've been sacked years ago. It's another black mark against DM's name if you ask me and I don't think we will ever see Shandy complete 90 mins in an Everton shirt. Sorry, make that 30 mins.
James Marshall
15   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:19:44

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I dont think he?s a tosser, I quite like him - who else do you know thats been paid £30 grand a week for the last 3 years and done pretty much nothing to earn it?!

Good on him, I know we?d all do the same, given the opportunity!

He's always described as ?likeable? too, which I suspect is the reason he?s still on our books... because he?s such a nice fella to have around the place! ;)
Patty Beesley
16   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:22:16

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Might be good fun to hear the crowd chanting "Shandy Andy" when he gets a goal!!
Roy Coyne
17   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:28:21

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Patty, you win Optimist of the Year by a mile!
Tony Marsh
18   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:38:49

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Patty, a goal you say. I would pay extra money to see that. First though, Shandy would have to leave his wheelchair on the touchline while he crawled in to the 18-yard box. Then he would need 10 cups of coffee to sober up. Then someone would have to remove the rolled up £20 note from his conk. Then the ball would have to land slap bang on his head a yard out from goal while the keeper is having a swig of his drink and talking to photographers behind his nets while the rest of the defenders are making their way down the tunnel for half-time. Ah this is getting silly Shandy will never score a goal for us end of story...
Keith Glazzard
19   Posted 10/10/2008 at 15:33:09

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If footballers were sacked for being arseholes, many clubs would struggle to put a team out. I don?t know if he?s been in breach of contract with EFC, and selling him on must have been impossible, but we have been stuck with him. The only possible saving grace could be that he does us some good in the time that he is still with us.
James Marshall
20   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:00:56

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Tony - libellous? Possibly.

Your scathing personal attacks no no bounds eh!
Tommy Coleman
21   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:01:44

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I thnk AVDM means it this time purely based on his performances during pre-season, but, I also think he has not looked after himself enough to keep himself injury free. It will be a case of ADVM finally finding form only to pull his eye lash muscle which causes him to be out for 18 months.
It’s a shame really because what a talent he was.
Tony Marsh
22   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:04:01

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James definetly not libellous mate.Its common knowledge in these parts what Shandy has been up to and with whom..Let him take me to court if he likes..I very much doubt it though.
Kevin Jones
23   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:08:35

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Apparently, Ciaran, he was going to be shot out of a cannon but Moyes said "he wasn?t the right calibre"...

An oldie but a goodie!
Amanda Huddleston
24   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:14:07

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FISH & CHIPS!

A real prem league players meal (check out the ToffeeTV ad on OS)
Ciarán McGlone
25   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:32:52

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Kevin,

I heard he hadn?t got the balls.

Dear god, Richard Whitley would be turning in his grade at the quality fo these efforts.
James Marshall
26   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:42:14

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Tony relax man, this thread is meant to be a laugh, as per the title!

Do you ever laugh at Everton or anything Everton related? AvDM is a funny story all round!
Tony Marsh
27   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:52:45

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James, I am laughing mate. I have laughed all the way through Shandy's Everton career. Nothing is as funny as a Shandy comeback story. The thing is, how can you call it a comeback? He never got started anyway.
James Marshall
28   Posted 10/10/2008 at 16:59:38

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You always appear to be dead narky about it Tony - in fact you appear to be dead narky about most things!

I have a suspicion that in the ’real world’ you’re an absolutely hoot!
Tony Marsh
29   Posted 10/10/2008 at 17:20:44

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Can anyone give a rough estimate of Shandy Andy's time spent on the field of play playing for Everton in hours and minutes. I haven't got a clue but of the top of my head I reckon it's about 4 hours in 3 years. Now that is funny or am I way out?
Sean Patton
30   Posted 10/10/2008 at 17:21:19

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Maybe as an incentive for him, we can agree a performance-related bonus scheme with our sponsors.
Connor Rohrer
31   Posted 10/10/2008 at 17:27:21

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I couldn?t answer that but he has completed one 90 minutes from what I remember. 90 minutes in the cup against Blackburn in the 06-07 season.

All in all he?s started 14 games and made 7 sub appearances.
Gavin Ramejkis
32   Posted 10/10/2008 at 19:31:26

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Bigger laugh is Billy Bullshitter trying to tell a potential buyer Desperation Kirkby is still viable - was it ever?
James Carroll
33   Posted 10/10/2008 at 21:04:32

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Who?
Sean Condon
34   Posted 11/10/2008 at 05:40:17

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Oh, so he?s a coke head, eh?
I had thought that maybe he was in those photos with Sol and Jermaine Jenas.
Andy Crooks
35   Posted 11/10/2008 at 09:08:20

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Tony Marsh ,a few months ago I said on this site that if by Christmas AVDM had not proved to be a top class player and an asset to the club I would happily admit to being a wanker who knows fuck all about football. Now... obviously I didn?t know what you say is common knowledge about his private life. (I assume that our manager doesn?t know either).

Still, I believe that anyone can change and AVDM has a natural talent which I hope he will use for Everton. I don?t think that David Moyes is an "arm round the shoulder" type of guy and I think a new manager at Goodison Park will see a revival in quite a few of the squad.
Anj Stama
36   Posted 11/10/2008 at 09:41:34

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AVDM should ?literally? be wrapped in cotton wool to avoid futher injuries to himself. This guy is really a ? waste of space? and has been since day 1.
Garry Martin
37   Posted 11/10/2008 at 09:46:07

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Tell you what! If he?s been on £30k a week for the last 3 years then, who are the mugs?
David Foster
38   Posted 11/10/2008 at 13:22:56

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They say he is always injured and unfit but he doesn?t look injured or unfit on the dancefloor in town every weekend.
Nick Armitage
39   Posted 11/10/2008 at 15:11:24

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Andy Crooks, sorry mate but you might as well admit now to being a "wanker who knows fuck all about football" becasue Andy van der Meyde will never be an asset to any football club in any major league in Europe.

I can assure you that he was finished as a professional sportsman two years ago.

Nothing sadder than wasted talent and it is sad for him because he is a nice fella and he does want to play. He genuinely could have been a great but he just hasn?t got what you need up top.
Andy Crooks
40   Posted 11/10/2008 at 15:45:09

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Nick, here?s the problem. Ninety five percent of the time I agree with Tony Marsh. So, am I a wanker 5% of the time? Or 95%?
Chris Dibleway
41   Posted 11/10/2008 at 19:43:48

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If he was a horse, he’d have been shot a long time ago.
Blair Johnson
42   Posted 13/10/2008 at 09:54:33

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I wonder if he?s in cahoots with Winston Bogarde? I reckon they have a bet on ... and Shandy Andy is trying him for the biggest Dutch waste of money in the Premier League ever!!
Andrew Fletcher
43   Posted 13/10/2008 at 13:02:12

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Matt Bone, one rule of management: you never take off your top striker.
Jonathan Tasker
44   Posted 13/10/2008 at 13:14:00

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I cannot believe that he has the nerve to expect to be paid. He?s a disgrace to his profession and Moyes is a disgrace for offering him such a long contract.
Kerry Frahm
45   Posted 13/10/2008 at 13:23:32

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I was very excited when it was announce AVDM was signing for us because I had seen him play some stellar football and match winning performances... Then I found out just how far behind our football coverage is here in Australia and I was still watching him play for Ajax. I didn’t even know he had been to play in Italy ... apparantly neither did many Italians!! ;-)
James Inglis
46   Posted 13/10/2008 at 16:00:49

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I have AVDM in my Championship Manager side. He?s great, charges down the wing and puts crosses in to Beattie. Everton?s doing very nicely with this combo!!
Bryan Hurst
47   Posted 21/10/2008 at 13:34:10

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Tony, you?re my new Hero.

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