Me? I'm fine with a good rumour. After all, what will be will be and what.. um won't be (?)... won't be.
A rumour in my opinion rarely changes the course of anything significant. Also the rumour, for me, is VERY human. Like gossip and war, it's just something we can't help.
Of course rumours don't show us at our best... but neither does most of what we do. (eg: producing/watching reality TV, buying Nuts/Zoo, inventing Pot Noodles etc etc)
I am curious though about where they start. I mean if a rumour is completely invented then... who invented it? And (much more importantly), why?
The Joey Barton rumour for instance. It has him linked with us - 'linked' How loose is that? Of course it's possible he COULD play for us (Bernie Wright did!) but I don't believe he ever will, so the rumour bothers me not one jot.
Many of the rumours ToffeeWebbers will be most familiar come in two categories. Odd sex and football transfers.
In the odd sex category, most will have heard the Richard Gere-carboard tube-small rodent story that went worldwide some years ago. And many will have heard the Rod Stewart 3 pints of 'baby-batter' story.
Filming commercials over the years, I heard two beauts from film crews (notorious liars):
A grip told me that Ghurka hero Joanna Lovely had had "That much arse action over the years, she had to have a plastic arse fitted". A PLASTIC ARSE!
Another feller (spark) on a shoot in Australia told me "Michael Caine? Best kept secret in showbiz!" When I asked what the 'secret was' he pulled a kind of Larry Grayson "look at the muck in 'ere" expression"
Both of these rumours had me falling about laughing and I believed not half a percent of either was true (despite both rumour-mongers stating "It's a well-known fact!"). Neither tale bothered me though and both provided me with a laugh.
With that in mind, I have decided to invent one. One that has no basis in anything at all. I will tell you all and ask you to spread it. The point? Just an experiment to see how long it takes until someone pulls you/me aside and says...
"..Know when Ken Loach made The Golden Vision? Well apparently Shankly tried to persuade him to make the film about Liverpool but Loach wouldn't have it — said Everton were the bigger side. After that Shankly always hated Loach. In fact when the film Kes came out, Shankly told anyone who would listen that it was shite and "amateurish in the extreme" — he hated Loach til the day he died apparently"
Note: the following content is not moderated or vetted by the site owners at the time of submission. Comments are the responsibility of the poster. Disclaimer
1 Posted 05/08/2009 at 22:37:37
1) You can’t tell anyone you’re inventing a rumour. That’s just never gonna work.
2) Your rumour is not contemporary. How ever juicy, it lacks immediacy and will not flourish.
Now... have you heard about Anichebe’s gambling debts? Thought not.
2 Posted 05/08/2009 at 22:50:21
The stadium will be built with public money and the clubs will sell their old grounds for modern public housing.................now thats a rumour.......
How journalist make a story out of that is they ring up somebody say they have heard this beeing brandied about and await the offical denial.
"City Clubs deny ground share plan."
August is silly season so something must be done to sell papers.
3 Posted 05/08/2009 at 23:02:04
4 Posted 05/08/2009 at 23:13:44
5 Posted 05/08/2009 at 23:25:20
6 Posted 05/08/2009 at 23:29:31
7 Posted 05/08/2009 at 23:52:37
8 Posted 06/08/2009 at 00:28:08
9 Posted 06/08/2009 at 00:33:06
10 Posted 06/08/2009 at 00:52:03
Rumours are the lifeblood for most fans. But apparently, if you can’t name your source, then it’s bad...
I don’t do rumours for that reason, though I’m sure I just saw Moutihno in Everton 2 at Liverpool 1....
11 Posted 06/08/2009 at 01:00:44
12 Posted 06/08/2009 at 06:57:47
I just googled ’ EJ Ruane’s shankly rumour and got a link... ’ and so it begins ’.
It was Churchill who said ’ I don’t believe any statistics I haven’t made up myself. ’
Consider my hat doffed to a true genius, but you must promise to use your powers for good, or just to wind up the misery gutses which ever is easier.
13 Posted 06/08/2009 at 07:11:01
14 Posted 06/08/2009 at 07:50:37
Talking of rumours, here’s one from a few years back....I doubt anyone will remember, but about 7 years ago, while at Ipswich Town, Marcus Stewart was walking around displaying a massive black eye, official story at the time from the club was that he was involved in a ’training ground incident’. Well my old man used to play golf with the then Ipswich Town physio, and my dad swears blind that the physio told him that club captain Matty Holland had found out that Stewart was fucking his missus, hence black eye! Weeks later, Stewart was sold to Sunderland.
15 Posted 06/08/2009 at 08:19:19
16 Posted 06/08/2009 at 08:29:18
My auntie is a season ticket holder at Tranmere and was shocked by Ronnie Moore’s sacking at the end of last season escpecially after only just missing the play offs by a last minute Scunthorpe goal. None of the Tranmere fans could work out why he was sacked especially now that dickhead John Barnes has been put in his place.
Alledgedly, I heard through a friend of a friend’s grapevine, Ronnie, the dirty old dog, was shagging his son, Ian’s, wife. For those who don’t know, Ian plays up front forTranmere. I would love to be round theirs this Christmas!
17 Posted 06/08/2009 at 08:35:17
Nothing like a good festival rumour to spread around - they usual involve jeremy beadle, a death or Terry wogan falling off the stena line.
18 Posted 06/08/2009 at 08:41:26
I then bet my mate a tenner the rumour would work it’s way back to me by the end of the night.
19 Posted 06/08/2009 at 09:07:08
20 Posted 06/08/2009 at 09:08:56
You gotta believe it!
21 Posted 06/08/2009 at 09:20:31
22 Posted 06/08/2009 at 09:28:17
"Oh a false clock tries to tick out my time
To disgrace, distract, and bother me.
And the dirt of gossip blows into my face,
And the dust of rumors covers me.
But if the arrow is straight
And the point is slick,
It can pierce through dust no matter how thick.
So I’ll make my stand
And remain as I am
And bid farewell and not give a damn.
As I said earlier genius
23 Posted 06/08/2009 at 09:36:34
Ps. Have it good authority that Requelmi is at Speke airport as we speak.
24 Posted 06/08/2009 at 09:38:35
I kid you not!
25 Posted 06/08/2009 at 10:09:59
26 Posted 06/08/2009 at 10:27:40
27 Posted 06/08/2009 at 12:09:06
28 Posted 06/08/2009 at 12:22:39
29 Posted 06/08/2009 at 12:39:10
Anyone got any news on the iminent arrival of Messi.
30 Posted 06/08/2009 at 13:02:34
31 Posted 06/08/2009 at 13:02:17
32 Posted 06/08/2009 at 13:24:54
P.S. Wasn’t Ghurkan a song by Chas & Dave ?
33 Posted 06/08/2009 at 14:22:33
Don’t know about Ghurkan.
Are you sure you don’t mean snooker loopy ?
That was a song by the two cockernee chirpsters.
34 Posted 06/08/2009 at 14:28:17
35 Posted 06/08/2009 at 15:31:41
36 Posted 06/08/2009 at 17:17:53
37 Posted 06/08/2009 at 18:17:41
38 Posted 06/08/2009 at 18:11:33
39 Posted 06/08/2009 at 18:26:57
Links below :)
40 Posted 06/08/2009 at 19:20:46
41 Posted 06/08/2009 at 20:58:55
I could be wrong, as this may just be a rumour started on the tinterweb!
42 Posted 06/08/2009 at 22:47:30
Kenwright allegedly responded that it was all dreams and told them to go their own way.
43 Posted 07/08/2009 at 07:48:03
Everton and at least one of it’s sycophants will use twaddle like "players we wanted were not available", "the manager will wait until the January transfer window" and "keeping his powder dry".......... oh shit that’s another one which did happen.
Oh well, I’ll stick by the rumour fuck all new players of any note will be signed, do I win a coconut?
44 Posted 07/08/2009 at 08:42:21
45 Posted 07/08/2009 at 08:43:48
1) Ferdinand is becoming very injury prone, some would say a liability.
2) Vidic wants to leave and go abroad coz his missus can’t settle in sunny England.
3) Lescott claims that by moving away from us to the trash with cash that it would improve his chances of getting on the plane for South Africa next summer.
4) Ferguson is steaming inside still over the trash with cash taking Tevez and then taunting him with those Teves posters
5) He’s got wads of cash to spend still after the sale of Ronaldo and it’s burning a hole in his pocket.
6) So he’s planning another last minute hijack of a City target just like he did last year with Berbatov. (remember he signed him with about 15 minutes before the transfer window closed)
7) So what better way for Ferguson to get one over his City rivals than to pinch Lescott from under their noses.
8) JLo then gets his wish plus more, for now he’s earning mega bucks AND playing champions league football (as assured guarantee that he’ll be on the plane to South Africa.
9) And just for good measure, Ferguson gives us £30 million coz he likes us!
So there’s a rumour I hope goes nowhere coz I don’t want the lad to go.
46 Posted 07/08/2009 at 10:13:58
47 Posted 07/08/2009 at 10:12:45
I always like to read a certain rumour page in a morning, and over the last week, the following "facts /rumours" — hey there nearly the same thing — have stated.
A Bentley (sorry guy didnt get the model) -was seen on the M56 with the reg plate LE55COT - it's not quite how you spell it i thought but hey.
And then there's the ever so proffessional estate agent who blabbed to his best mate's cousin's girlfriend that they were looking for a house for Lescott in Manchester (as opposed to the house that he’s already got in manchester!!) — based on the fact that he’s moving down the road, and there's someone driving a car in the northwest with a number plate similar to Roger's surname...
I love silly season - dont you!!.
But here's one for you: Churchill the dog's just been seen in Paris with Melanie Sykes
48 Posted 07/08/2009 at 20:17:10
Add Your Comments
In order to post a comment to Fan Articles, you need to be logged in as a registered user of the site.
Or Sign up as a ToffeeWeb Member — it's free, takes just a few minutes and will allow you to post your comments on articles and MailBag submissions across the site.