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Tim Cahill - The Secret of Success?

By Denis Byrne :  01/04/2010 :  Comments (10) :
A great piece about Tim Cahill (‘Whoever cries goes inside’) and hoping we can get the full version when it comes out as it looks like a heart-warming eulogy to one of our great players and to this club.

Not long after reading this I was banging out the emails it to my brother who works in Australian media and he offered some interesting responses. Apparently Tim was waxing lyrical so much about EFC that much has been edited out due to the need to have a more Aussie focus, which is understandable. But also they have kept out a whole bit (well, in media terms a few minutes worth) which talks about the impact of an alternative treatment used in Australia by some of the leading athletes, including Tim and Steve Waugh, and which is little know about outside the continent.

Similar to the recent Placenta treatments in Serbia used to heal injuries (Van Persie and Serbian forward Lankovic, etc), this little-known treatment utilises some features extracted from marsupial blood to increase the leaping ability of some of Australia’s leading sportspeople and is used widely in Aussie Rules (including the legendary Ron Barassi) and by some cricketers and footballers.

Massaged on to the legs, the treatment is officially called by its Latin name ‘Marcropus oil’ but typically and humorously, the Aussies call it ‘Joey Juice’! Australian legislation classes the treatment as an ‘alternative treatment’ thereby not infringing any ‘doping’ laws and as it is not taken intravenously (officially!) it seems to be outside any formal medical categories that might risk it being banned.

We know that Kangaroos are harvested and farmed in Australia and Kangaroo meat is sold widely. I researched it before trying it on a recent visit and was surprised to see that the meat has a very high concentration of conjugated linoleic acid (CLA) which when compared with other foods, has been attributed with a wide range of health benefits including anti-carcinogenic and anti-diabetes properties, in addition to reducing obesity and atherosclerosis.

Personally I view the placebo effect as having merit although it looks like there may also be some clinical value to the treatment, I’m sure Evertonians and (the appropriately named) Socceroo’s supporters will agree that Timmy can use anything to enhance his prodigious leap and drive us on to further success. Up up and away...

Reader Comments

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Tom Martin
1   Posted 01/04/2010 at 14:05:18

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So it's all down to Joey Juice!?!
April Fool!!!!!!!!
Dave Wilson
2   Posted 01/04/2010 at 14:05:28

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Probably not the best day/date to put this one out...
Colin Ryan
3   Posted 01/04/2010 at 14:09:09

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Anyone know anything about this Tim Cahill DVD coming soon?
Art Jones
4   Posted 01/04/2010 at 14:14:11

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Due to be shown in Aus on April 3, Colin:
Shaun Brennan
5   Posted 01/04/2010 at 15:05:25

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Anyone for some Shauny Juice?
Jay Harris
6   Posted 01/04/2010 at 23:57:28

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Pint of warm Chang beats any placebo effect, especially if poured onto any body part except the mouth.
Brendan O'Doherty
7   Posted 02/04/2010 at 02:00:15

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Ah look, I'll have whatever Warney's been drinking...
Andrew Presly
8   Posted 02/04/2010 at 03:40:31

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Tim has the cliche'd x-factor quality of getting that set piece goal we all rely on when the midfield has been discombobulated / been shite for one reason or the other but am I alone in thinking he has absolutely no technical ability to strike a football at a goal?

Great player without the ball, but can't kick a ball past a goalie, World Cup vs Japan, overheads and Newcastle (h) honourably excepted. Never scored a goal apart from headers or tap-ins. Also, Steve Waugh should be hired in lieu of Woods &/or Round(y), get rid of the nearlymen and install winners because this has been a wasted season, sadly.

Joey Brown
9   Posted 02/04/2010 at 10:44:16

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Finally my juice has a purpose.
Keith Glazzard
10   Posted 02/04/2010 at 23:10:31

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'Can't sing, can't dance, can't jump'.

Wasn't that a talent scout's report on Fred Astaire?

Which is what many a PL manager must have read about Tim The Great. The London based ones had no excuse, and must still be wondering how they missed him. Moyes goes to so many matches...

Anyway, Timmy the Bush Kangaroo has become a Goodison legend (I contend) apparently without the help of any football skills. Just an outback remedy the flying doctor never heard of — or was he she or it never telling us?

Be careful what you rub in.

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