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Toffees Dance Card 2010-11

By John McLaughlan :  17/06/2010 :  Comments (21) :

14 Rovers (A)
21 Wanderers (H)
28 Villains (A)

11 United (H)
18 Barcodes (H)
25 Cottagers (A)

2 Brum (A)
16 The Shite (H)
23 Spurs (A)
30 Potteries (H)

6 Tangerines (A)
10 Trotters (H)
13 Gunners (H)
20 Black Cats (A)
27 Baggies (H)

4 Chelski (A)
11 Latics (H)
18 City (A)
26 Brum (H)
28 Hammers (A)

1 Potteries (A)
5 Spurs (H)
15 The Shite (A)
22 Hammers (H)

1 Gunners (A)
5 Tangerines (H)
12 Trotters (A)
26 Black Cats (H)

5 Barcodes (A)
19 Cottagers (H)

2 Villains (H)
9 Wanderers (A)
16 Rovers (H)
23 United (A)
30 Latics (A)

7 City (H)
14 Baggies (A)
22 Chelski (H)

John's original submission contained information that is claimed to copyrighted so we have replaced it with this impossible-to-decode dance card to avoid the obligatory emails from the FA. We apologise for the ridiculousness of it, but the buck stops at Lancaster Gate... — Editorial Team

Reader Comments

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Richard Parker
1   Posted 17/06/2010 at 16:22:53

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At last, some Everton related news to break up the World Cup banter and rumours.

The fixture list for next season was just released and it looks like quite a tough start for our lads.

If we want to be troubling the top 4 this season, then we're going to need to get off to a flyer in some pretty hard games.... For my money, if we come through that lot in the top 7 or 8, then we'll be in a pretty decent position.

Jimmy Saville
2   Posted 17/06/2010 at 16:23:49

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Well its certainly looking like a good fixture list for us this year! Which should assist us well in our bid for the Holy Grail of Champions League football!

October and January being the only months where we play two of the top teams back to back. The last month of the season looks hard, but we will have home advantage.

Is this the year we can smash the glass ceiling?

Craig Taylor
3   Posted 17/06/2010 at 16:24:28

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These are looking good to me. In terms of the playing the strong teams (Sky 4 etc) they are nicely spread out, i.e., not playing them all together.

I am confident of a good start, good finish, good all round season.

Fan Mitchell
4   Posted 17/06/2010 at 16:26:36

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22 May 2011: Title Decider vs Chelsea...

Well, maybe a little optimistic but it will be 24 years since 1987 so you never know...

Anyway, first 3 games: Blackburn (a) Wolves (h) Villa (a)

Quite a satisfying start, albeit tough away games, but all are winnable. With two home games following with Utd and Newcastle coming to Goodison.

11/12 points from these opening 5 games would put us in good stead for a great campaign.


Dave Roberts
5   Posted 17/06/2010 at 16:27:31

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Well, once again the first Derby game is at home! I thought the fixtures were randomly calculated by a computer? Five years in a row doesn't seem likely to be random to me (just as the Sky four super Sundays never seemed to be random!)

The good news is we will be able to tie up the League by beating Chelsea, the Champions, in our last game!

Or am I being a little over-optimistic!?

Graham Holliday
6   Posted 17/06/2010 at 16:28:46

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Fairly sure they're not completely random and that representatives from clubs meet to discuss them... or is that just for internationals?
Alex Kociuba
7   Posted 17/06/2010 at 17:28:32

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Dave, in true randomness of numbers between two outcomes, it wouldn't be conisdered unusual, mathematically speaking, if the next five seasons we're at home first too.

The fixture list isn't completely random, there need to be quite a lot of considerations such as local police forces, traffic congestion etc.

Although I consider the FA to be fairly corrupt, I don't think they maliciously alter the fixtures at all, and presumably there's an independent body overseeing it too.
Ciarán McGlone
8   Posted 17/06/2010 at 18:06:22

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At least we'll avoid a 6-1 thrashing on opening day...
Chris Butler
9   Posted 17/06/2010 at 18:41:54

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As long we beat the shite, I'm happy.
David Hallwood
10   Posted 17/06/2010 at 19:12:01

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April & May look tough
Kevy Quinn
11   Posted 17/06/2010 at 19:51:15

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United September 11th, guess I'll have to pay an extra night for a hotel and fly on the 10th. No chance I'll be flying that day!

Ciaran, I hope those words don't come back to haunt you/us. LoL.
David Thomas
12   Posted 17/06/2010 at 20:24:40

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Roll on Aug 14th. I can't wait.
Steve Pugh
13   Posted 17/06/2010 at 21:37:57

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Ciaran, whilst totally agreeing with you, I do hope Arsenal start next season in exactly the same manner as last season on Merseyside.
Andrew Presly
14   Posted 18/06/2010 at 01:01:48

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"United"? The correct terminology is "Manchester".
Albert Dock
15   Posted 18/06/2010 at 07:09:19

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Dear Oh dear. The same old bollocks every year.

Course it's a conspiracy — it's obvious. The more canny observer will have noticed that Everton have to play every other team in the Premier League. Not just once but TWICE! Often entailing journeys to parts of the land where they still eat their young and throw the tough bits out on to the cobbled streets.

And we'll have to put up with them bloody vuvu horn thingies...
Matthew Mackey
16   Posted 18/06/2010 at 08:49:14

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Why do we always play the red shite at home first? Every season the so-called unbiased computer that churns this lot out gives us a home fixture, early on in the season, against the red shite.
Steven Pendleton
17   Posted 18/06/2010 at 09:04:08

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Why does is matter that we play Livershit at home first? How is it not an advantage? Would rather play them early when (cough cough) we have the potential to have a fully fit team and a home game.

Just because we fuck up with either injuries, late transfers, the global financial crisis, ozone layer issue, El Nino et al against the pricks every year doesn't change anything. We shouldn't lose at home. I see it as a bonus personally.
Shaun Brennan
18   Posted 18/06/2010 at 16:02:54

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Gerry Quinn
19   Posted 18/06/2010 at 16:17:11

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Shaun (18) - you had me on that one. Am I the wally having counted 38 twice? Or is it April 1st already?
Shaun Brennan
20   Posted 18/06/2010 at 17:43:17

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Well done, Gerry — got to get my kicks any way they come.
Matt Traynor
21   Posted 19/06/2010 at 16:11:17

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Dear Editorial Team, splitting hairs maybe, but the buck has been stopping at Soho Square, not Lancaster Gate, for 10 years now! Do keep up!

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