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Derby Rituals

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Ok. It's getting to the time before a derby that my arse is starting to twitch.

I constantly think about the game and stupidly perform little rituals in the hope it might bring us some luck, ie, today I am stirring my tea in one direction (no this is not a wind-up). Anybody else do daft things before derbies or other big games for that matter?

By Friday, I will be praying for the gods to shine on us for once. Daft thing is, I don't even believe in god. I just wish the game was over so i could just get on with my life, because from now until late Sunday afternoon it will dominate my every thought.
Dave Lynch, Merseyside     Posted 11/10/2010 at 10:44:04

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Dave Toby
1   Posted 11/10/2010 at 14:48:23

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My only ritual is after the game; win and I go out and get slaughtered to celebrate, lose and I go out and get slaughtered to forget about it.
Erik Dols
2   Posted 11/10/2010 at 15:14:09

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Am I the only one wondering what Dave Toby will do in case of a draw??
Christopher Anakin
3   Posted 11/10/2010 at 15:22:48

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Go out and get slaughtered is what I'm guessing.
Dave Toby
4   Posted 11/10/2010 at 15:35:10

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Christopher has it in one! In that case the reason for the slaughtering will depend on the manner of the draw: Were we robbed? Were we poor? Did we rob them? You get the gist...
Norman Merrill
5   Posted 11/10/2010 at 15:29:46

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As long as getting slaughtered only apply's to what happens in the boozer afterwards, and not to the team on he pitch.

The lowly league positions of both, is a first, we have lost Jagielka, and by the time the game is played they may have lost more.

I just hope that we are really up for it.

As always the crowd will be tense, and lets hope the man in the middle is up to the job too,

Dave Toby
6   Posted 11/10/2010 at 15:44:24

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In all seriousness, an early goal (for us) would be a great bonus and would relax us so we can play the way we know we can, rather than panicking and getting dragged into a kicking match like the last game. A 'shoot on sight' policy would be a good place to start especially in the first 20 minutes.
Dave Richman
7   Posted 11/10/2010 at 16:26:18

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Three words:

Howard Fucking Webb
Adam Bennett
8   Posted 11/10/2010 at 16:32:36

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My main decision this week involves what to wear.

I wore the new vanilla third shirt at Birmingham and we won. Sounds simple, wear it again, but, does that mean the third shirt is now my lucky away game shirt, and if so will not work for a home game?.

Or, will the luck it brought for an away game transfer itself to a home game?

Now, if wearing it for away games means we win said away games, if I wear it to a home game, the luck gods will think I?m trying to pull a fast one on them and make us lose.

However, as I?ve only worn it once, and we won, are the luck gods telling me that, if I wear it, Everton win ? no matter where we play?

I?ve already decided the home shirt doesn?t work for home games as the only game we?ve won at home this season I wasn?t wearing it and, to make it worse, I can?t remember what I was wearing that night.

Now, I could decide to wear something new and play safe, but would the luck gods then think that they?ve given me a lucky shirt and as I?m not wearing it, it will show a lack of thankfulness to them and they will make us lose?

My head is all over the place. Get this wrong and we?re fucked.
Kris Boner
9   Posted 11/10/2010 at 16:45:40

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@8 Adam are you sure your name isn't Gordon Bennett... after a struggle like that i'm surprised you find the time to go to the games given the clothing problems.

Personally, I find coincidence tends to take me on derby days... say prior to a match if luck shines on me in other areas of my life we tend to win... i.e. Dan Gosling's derby was on a day where I found a pound coin in my chair... the Clatternburg incident came after spilling tea on the way to the sofa to watch the game.
Eugene Ruane
10   Posted 11/10/2010 at 16:44:49

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Pre-match ritual - feeling 'a bit spewy'

After-match - see above....unless we win, then it's getting blind drunk and falling asleep in an alehouse somewhere between "And we love our Kev The Rat" and "Oh Andy is our King".

The only derby I've ever felt relaxed in was the Cars 1-0.

For some reason, I was convinced they wouldn't get past our defence that day.

When we scored I just felt we'd won.

Very unusual feeling for me as I'm usually sweating even if we're two up with 5 mins to go.
David Price
11   Posted 11/10/2010 at 17:10:17

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It's not in the ritual, fate is already written so look for the signs.

Morning of the Derby, you realise too late there's only one sheet of loo roll left; the missus has used all the space on the Sky box for This Morning, Loose Women etc and your 'Friday night Movies for Men special' hasn't recorded; the dog has pissed on the floor during the night and you uncannily find the exact spot with your barefeet at 5 in the morning, coz you can't sleep with Derby nerves; your lad spills red sauce down his Everton top eating burger and chips outside the ground.

These are an example of the bad signs... oh yeah, and Howard Webb... Ah bolloxs.

Bill Slater
12   Posted 11/10/2010 at 17:24:14

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This is a bleeding nightmare. It's only Monday and I can't get any work done. God knows what I'll be like by Friday. Probably completely exhausted through a lack of sleep.

Who thought football finances could be so engaging. There has been no chat about football for fuckin ages. Can anyone explain the offside rule as I can't remember how it works?
James Cadwaladr
13   Posted 11/10/2010 at 17:22:36

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The week up to the game tends to see my levels of concentration drop to that of a nursery school Kid. I cant keep my mind on work for more than a few minutes before I start day dreaming about everything to do with the match.

On the morning of the game it really gets bad, the Mrs gets on my tits more than usual and I get on her tits more than usual due to relentless heavy breathing so to make sure I dont hypaventillate. Large breath in, hold for a few seconds and exhale thinking / saying to myself "fuck me".

Once Im dressed I shit myself until the final whistle.

I hate them, I really really fucking hate them, everything about them!
Bill Slater
14   Posted 11/10/2010 at 17:28:29

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Oh rituals - bladdered win, lose or draw. The talks and debates in the pub after the Derby are absolutely priceless. "A tell ye wha...'
Mike Gwyer
15   Posted 11/10/2010 at 18:53:59

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Dave (post 4):

Your comment "did we rob them?" - I'm afraid that scenario will never happen!

In my 34 years of supporting the blues I have never seen us "rob them", never, not even close. We have always earned the win.

Don't get me wrong, I would fucking love us to play totally shite for the full 90 minutes, for LFC to hit the bar at least twice, for LFC to have at least 3 penalty claims ignored and then ... the mighty blues get an OG from the mighty Carragher in the 93 minute.

Nope you will never see any of the above, that's because the evil one looks after his own and we will, without doubt, have to earn the victory.
Mike Green
16   Posted 11/10/2010 at 19:48:37

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Adam (8)

I think you're too close to the situation to really see the answer.

You need to wear that vanilla shirt. Not doing so would be like dropping a striker who'd scored on his debut - it'd just crush the shirts confidence. As Marc Bolan said - "Get it on".
Tom Rowe
17   Posted 11/10/2010 at 20:23:45

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You're all fuckin' mad! The only bad Omen is Howard Webb. Bet he sends Johnny Heitinga Off!
Chris Jones
18   Posted 11/10/2010 at 20:59:44

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I'm in New Zealand and Sky don't show every game, but the derby's on live at 1:30 am Monday. So, do I stay up until half past three in the morning, have two hours sleep and then have to deal with the kids, wife, work etc., do I record it and watch it at 6 am with the kids running around demanding food and arse-wipes and not letting me concentrate... or do I record it to watch after work in relative peace, but run the risk of finding out the score by accident (or one of the five redshites I work with)???

Christ, I hate Sunday games!

And when I do watch it, do I drink from my Goodison Park mug? Every time I've used it this season, we've been shite. I didn't use it for the Birmingham game.
Ajay Timothy
19   Posted 11/10/2010 at 21:31:24

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My heart says us but my brain says them. They always pull it off when it counts ? remember Istanbul and countless other games, especially in derbies.

My first was the game at Anfield in 1971 where we were 2-0 up ? I think Whittle and Royle put us ahead only for them to come back and win 3-2. Next was the FA Cup semi where Bally put us up and then Labone gets injured and we lose 2-1. It has basically followed the same pattern since then.

I can just see those jammy bastards sneaking a win to ignite their season and get a new wealthy sugar daddy to boot.

Trevor Lynes
20   Posted 11/10/2010 at 22:32:10

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Derbies are always nervy for everyone... players and fans alike. Only a neutral could really enjoy watching and my experiences go all the way back to being terrified every time Billy Liddell cut inside... and that dates back to 1948 for me!! The best derbies were in the 60s for me when we had a really top side but, even when Liverpool were dominant after Shankley started his conveyer belt, we still had a good team and always pushed them. It was a case of who were Man Utd and Chelsea in those days.... I wish they were back!!!!!!
Jon Cox
21   Posted 11/10/2010 at 22:28:57

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Ajay, wrong! Forget history, it's about now.

Chris, all you've said, it's about now. I've done the shit with the bottles at 2 in the morning. I've had kids.

What us Evertonians are looking at is whether we can win on Sunday. Once that game gets under way, the politics have nothing to do with anything. It's all about winning on the day.

What Moyes does is irrelevant. It's what the guys on the pitch think and DO.

As far as I'm concerned the only thing is about Sunday is, How many of our 11 are going to be "Flying into it"?

I see this as Moyes's last chance. He has to forget negative and go for all guns blazing. Trying to think of something else to say, but that's it.

Forget politics ? A WIN IS NEEDED ON SUNDAY, END OF!!!!

COYB, FTRS

Charles King
22   Posted 11/10/2010 at 23:33:02

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Ajay, I'd say those were the games that started the devil's pact, we had better individuals but somehow they pulled it out of the fire, and on they went leaving us in their wake.

If we don't symbolically destroy that pact now, with all thats going on, we never will.

Certainly under this regime.
Afzan Yusuf
23   Posted 12/10/2010 at 01:05:29

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I won't wear anything underneath on the day of the derby... :)
Alan Clarke
24   Posted 12/10/2010 at 08:19:15

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Adam (8), what if it wasn't to do with your shirt but the fact you left the lights on in your house that morning or the way you'd folded your towels or were your shoes lined up in the correct way before you went to bed the night before or the fact that you didn't step on any cracks on the pavement during your walk to the ground?

My main ritual is not to talk to any RS fans for the week leading up to the game.
Tony J Williams
25   Posted 12/10/2010 at 09:08:56

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My ritual is to give an air of nonchalance to the pricky Redshites I work with.

I won't ever wear an Everton top anymore when we play....anyone, I can't remember a game we have won when I have had a Everton top/T-shirt on.

Oh and I like to be called Bessie prior to the game.
Bill Slater
26   Posted 12/10/2010 at 09:29:14

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Absolutely priceless. Buy that kid anything he wants.

Thomas Christensen
27   Posted 12/10/2010 at 09:48:54

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I won't talk to family or friends who are Liverpool fans in the week leading up to the derby. I work and go jogging with a Liverpool fan... we don't run this week.

Sounds stupid, but I don't want to get drawn into an argument about who's going to win and then have them lording it up.

I have to say this year I understand they themselves are fearing the worst.

COYB
David Price
28   Posted 12/10/2010 at 13:34:04

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Superb Bill, cheered me up after reading about this Peter Lim.

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