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I had a dream....

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It?s Saturday morning, Moysie?s tucking into his porridge (with heaps of salt ? just too maintain that puckered facial expression 24/7) and he suddenly starts choking. He?s at death?s door and looking into that tunnel of bright light when his missus smacks him with a rolling pin and he comes to.

Energised by his brush with death and with a new lease of life he decides to take each day as it comes and to be positive in all he does from now on.

He skips down to meet the players, waving the teamsheet for the Chelski game gaily over his head. There are gasps as he reads it out: Jags in for Jonny Rotten, Becks up front with Bily in the hole and he mutters something about ?sexy football.? Big Vic is sadly unavailable, having been loaned out to a feeder club in Kazakhstan for the next 20 years.

And so to the game: we run them ragged with Bily supplying killer through balls for Becks to run on to and Seamus giving Cole the run around.

2 ? 0 up after an hour, then Moyes replaces the tiring Bily with Timmy who pops another in for good measure. There has been a bit of trouble though when a mis-hit ball skews off sideways and catches the Ladyboy squarely in the mush, driving his lipstick right up his nostril. Luckily it misses his brain by a yard.

It?s Sunday morning, I wake up and read the press reports and ......

Oh


Chris Jones, Lincoln, NZ     Posted 18/02/2011 at 00:13:19

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Tony Wilson
1   Posted 18/02/2011 at 00:34:11

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Brilliant, humour makes the point the way ranting never could.
Daniel Johnson
2   Posted 18/02/2011 at 01:01:55

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It must be a dream, because Torres is cup-tied I do believe... so won't be eligible to play.
Dennis Stevens
3   Posted 18/02/2011 at 01:02:14

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I may never be able to see Moyes in the same light again: "He skips down to meet the players, waving the teamsheet for the Chelski game gaily over his head." Thanks for making me chuckle at that image you've put in my head, Chris!
Dermot Ryan
4   Posted 18/02/2011 at 01:51:01

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Sadly with Jags hoofing log balls up to John Terry, Bily will never get to make those killer passes. For my desired "barsenalona light" dream to work (and believe it or not I actually do dream of trying Bily in that position), we need to play from the back and that means Heitenga must play (even if he is defensively woeful). The key is possession and Jagielka and Neville just don't like having the ball that much.
Christopher McCullough
5   Posted 18/02/2011 at 02:06:06

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You make Moyes sound like Harry Redknapp. I don't care if Distin has had a great season, here's the team I believe would beat Chelsea:

Howard
Neville Jagielka Heitinga Baines
Coleman Arteta Fellaini Baxter
Bily Beckford
John Barnes
6   Posted 18/02/2011 at 02:14:53

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Christopher, I can't agree with dropping Distin. At the moment I think Jagielka for Heitinga might not make too much difference. Jagielka hoofs it, whereas Heitinga passes it... out for a throw-in.

And what makes you think Baxter would work on the left? I'm all for giving the young lads a run, but where they are comfortable, confident. I've not seen much of him except the few cameos in the 1st team but he doesn't look a left-sided player to me. Correct me if I'm wrong and he tears reserves teams apart from the left wing.

Why not our secret French weapon?

Dick Fearon
7   Posted 18/02/2011 at 03:06:51

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I can see it now, Moyes has the boys pumped to such an extent it is coming out of their ears... Ears, I said, not Rears.

Lined up for the usual pre-match ritual, our boys cannot contain their enthusiasm and give an impromptu performance of Riverdance. It had the crowd roaring it delight. Taking advantage of the moment, they do a lap of honour and once again, the crowd roars its approval.

Then the Referee blew his whistle to start the game.

Alan Williams
8   Posted 18/02/2011 at 08:45:41

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My team is:-
Howard
Neville Jags Distin Baines
Arteta Fellani Heitinga Bily
Cahill Beckford

Push Arteta back to the right thats the answer. COYB
Janet Doyle
9   Posted 18/02/2011 at 09:03:02

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Oh how I love the humour of fellow Eveortonians. Just getting ready to go into work feeling down and nervous about tomorrow and then up pops 'I had a dream' and my faith is restored. Come on You Blues ? we can do it if we all 'Believe'. For one I am going to have a bet on Chris's prediction.
Duncan McDine
10   Posted 18/02/2011 at 09:25:29

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Nice one Chris... that gave me a wee chuckle!

I played football with a couple of Chelsea season ticketers last night, and we were bickering over who's team was worse. I assured them Everton were as shit as I've seen in the last 8 years or so, and will certainly lose tomorrow if we play the way we did at Bolton.

My dream is that Anichebe doesn't start the game (at least not up front anyway).
Kevin Jones
11   Posted 18/02/2011 at 08:26:03

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Very good, started off like a Janet & John story from the Terry Wogan show. For those who don't know these stories just click on the next comment.

See Davey hop and skip along waving his teamsheet on pink scented paper. Davey's a fop, do you know what a fop is, he wears a purple crushed velvet cat suit, black shiny thigh long boots and a big floppy sun hat with a silk neckerchief.

Mrs Bickerdyke there pouring the tea out and asks Davey, "Why don't you try playing Bily in the hole behind the front two, he could pick up any knocked down balls and play them through for the two strikers creating some good chances. After I've finished here I'll try to catch the last ten minutes."

After the 4-0 win Davey arrives home to Mrs Davey, who asks, "Well, how did it go?"

"Brilliant thanks to Mrs Bickerdyke" says Davey, "She said I should put one in the hole for extra penetration and get more use out of the two big ones out front, we even made good use of the loose balls ? she came just as the last one was going in."

See Mr's Davey's face go the same colour as Davey's suit, Run Davey Run

Stephen Kenny
12   Posted 18/02/2011 at 10:06:23

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I don't think were favourites by any stretch, but we can beat them and they have struggled against us at their place on a few ocassions recently.

If you think putting Cahill sub and playing Bily in his position is they key however you need to book a check up.
Norman Merrill
13   Posted 18/02/2011 at 12:05:36

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Chris, well at least you enjoyed your dream, problem is we all have to wake up, sometime?

I will leave the team selection to Moyes, and just hope the players show more passion and desire than last week, and wear the shirt with real pride. As for Ladyboy, well he will be in the stand, so we will just have to worry about the usual twosome.

With 6,000 fans travelling down, if that cannot get some proper response from the players, then we will be in trouble.

Alan McGuffog
14   Posted 18/02/2011 at 14:17:10

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Kevin (11 ) Bravo
Christopher McCullough
15   Posted 18/02/2011 at 14:31:03

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John Barnes ? Sorry you can't agree.
David Price
16   Posted 18/02/2011 at 16:01:17

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Arteta on the left to try and re-create the link on the left with Baines again. Try Bily centre behind Beckford with Cahill alongside Fellaini and Coleman on the right. Back four unchanged with Heitinga roughing up Drogba.

Yes, we've a chance but the problem is we don't know which team turns up, the one winning at City or the one losing at Bolton.
COYB.

Col Noon
17   Posted 18/02/2011 at 19:06:29

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Good call trying to put a comedy spin on what will no doubt be another shocker from Mr "predictable" David Moyes. The man simply WILL NOT deviate from the norm and is incapable of freshining the squad up unless it's forced upon him. Add to that the tangiable sense of nervousness and fear and we may be in for a right hiding. If Anichebe starts then Moyes has lost all credibility I ever had for him and I really mean that. I'Il be happy with 3 shots on target and avoiding a drubbing... So would Moyes.
John Campbell
18   Posted 18/02/2011 at 19:30:44

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My team, Big Nev in goal, and 10 Big Duncs to rip Chelsea to bits!
Anthony Millington
19   Posted 18/02/2011 at 20:04:15

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And then Hibbert comes on and gets a hatrick!
John Campbell
20   Posted 18/02/2011 at 20:38:16

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Just one question and one question only!

When oh when is Marvin going to make an appearance???

Surely he is better than what we have? Oh how we miss Sheedy!

John Barnes
21   Posted 19/02/2011 at 04:27:57

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Christopher,
Nothing wrong in differing opinions. And I'd be as pleased as you if you were right.

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