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Blue Religion

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I completed my census form yesterday and, under the question about religion, I ticked the ?Other? box and wrote in "Evertonian" in the space provided.

I would be interested to know if anyone else will doing the same.

Thanks.

Jimmy Walker, Oakley, Bedfordshire     Posted 14/03/2011 at 09:04:36

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Phil Bellis
1   Posted 14/03/2011 at 13:14:34

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"James Ball Sheedy Walker...you have been found guilty of trivialising Her Majesty's Census and I have no option but to..."
Tony J Williams
2   Posted 14/03/2011 at 13:19:32

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Why not? It worked for the Star Wars geeks a few years back.
Christopher McCullough
3   Posted 14/03/2011 at 14:03:07

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EFC is deeply impressed on my soul but it's a football club. It's also an identity, of course. It's not a religion.

Feel free to be associated with the Star Wars school of metaphysics.
Adam McCulloch
4   Posted 14/03/2011 at 14:10:38

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I think I am... but then I've had a crisis of faith this year. 3 points v Fulham, amen.
Kevin Tully
5   Posted 14/03/2011 at 14:50:14

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It was a Kenwright clone who made all those stories up in the Bible.
Alan Clarke
6   Posted 14/03/2011 at 14:52:25

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Jimmy, if Everton is the religion and Goodison your church, who is god? Also which false prophets should we beware of?
Stephen Graham
7   Posted 14/03/2011 at 15:48:15

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Being Evertonians means having to bear our cross.
Dennis Stevens
8   Posted 14/03/2011 at 16:26:17

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I'll stick with Jedi!
Sean McCarthy
9   Posted 14/03/2011 at 16:55:49

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You're not meant to complete it til the 27th!!! It's not like Evertonians to be ahead of the pack and to make such a flying start!!!

It's meant to be a snapshot of the make-up of the country on the 27th so expect it back thru your door with a big 'return to sender' slapped across the front!!

Surely, as a blue, you should've known to read the small print... just so we know exactly when and where and by whom we've been had off!!!

Bertie Alloff
10   Posted 14/03/2011 at 17:26:29

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No I most defintely won't.
Dan Patterson
11   Posted 14/03/2011 at 17:42:13

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Jimmy, clearly we are all Buddhists experiencing reincarnation. In past lives, we must all have been serial killers, robbers and general bastards to be punished so badly in this life as Blues!!!!
Andy Morden
12   Posted 14/03/2011 at 17:44:10

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Sounds more like a brainwashing cult to me - asks you to unquestioningly follow the doctrine, extracts money for very little return (well this season anyway) from the faithful, inspires devoted (if somewhat blind at times) loyalty amongst the diehards.

The Everton Cult...
Ellen West
13   Posted 14/03/2011 at 17:46:47

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Chris (3) according to Ninian Smart's 7 dimensions, being an Evertonian fits the model perfectly and therefore is a religion.
Christopher McCullough
14   Posted 14/03/2011 at 17:54:46

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Well, if Ninian Smart says so. :)

Although I stand corrected I would prefer a religion with nine demensions. Seven is more a redshite number.

That said, I'll still be in church on Sunday.
Gareth Humphreys
15   Posted 14/03/2011 at 17:37:19

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I don't know whats more fictitious - the bible or Bill's search for investment.
Karl Masters
16   Posted 14/03/2011 at 18:35:31

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Does being of the Everton faith mean I can ride a moped without a crash helmet on?
Sam Morrison
17   Posted 14/03/2011 at 19:00:20

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Sorry to be the voice of boring reason here, but unless you are religious it's best to put 'no religion'...

http://census-campaign.org.uk/faq/jedi-knights/
Eugene Ruane
18   Posted 14/03/2011 at 18:55:06

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Being of the Everton faith means it feels like you've crashed on a moped without a crash helmet on.
Robert Daniels
19   Posted 14/03/2011 at 19:08:07

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The Gospel according to Moyes:

Thou shall not cross halfway line unless instructed.

My eleven disciples must stay behind the ball at all times, (Judas Rooney, is the twelfth).

Beware of false prophets, oh except Blue Bill!
Phil Bellis
20   Posted 15/03/2011 at 09:10:42

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"Beware of ANY profits" - Blue Bill
Dave Roberts
21   Posted 15/03/2011 at 11:03:57

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If ever we get around to actually making a protest about the state of the club, this could well be the way forward. We could invade the pitch after the next home draw and self-flagellate, then rub ashes into the wounds with a flea infested sackcloth while chanting NIL SATIS NISI OPTIMUM in unison and ad infinitum until the Board resigned en-masse and Moyes promised to sign Landon Donovan or anybody else who can run faster than a snail.

In the unlikely event of this not working, we could nominate a fan (my mate would be interested) to set fire to him/herself in the centre circle like Buddhist monks do when they really, really want something. MInd you, I was doing that at half time at the Reading game and nobody took a blind bit of notice.

Chris Briddon
22   Posted 15/03/2011 at 11:25:33

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Do you know, if there's one thing that really annoys me, it's people messing around with the census and not taking it seriously.

The information collected is used for a number of different purposes ? not least for calculating local authority funding ? yet people seem to insist on not filling it in, or making a complete joke of it by filling in stupid answers (such as this case in point).

It's not perfect but, for those of us who use it, it is the best we source of information we have. As such, for your communities' and towns' sake, I would advise you to not mess about with it and answer the questions accurately and sensibly.

Tony (2): It didn't work for the Star Wars geeks as it acheived nothing other than a number of completely pointless answers to a question making the rest of it slightly more inaccurate ? so thanks for that, Star Wars geeks.

Matthew Mackey
23   Posted 15/03/2011 at 11:46:51

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Chris #22 ? either your sense of humour is way over my head or you need to chill out a bit.

Of course we'll all fill in our census forms diligently ? we're all slaves to the system aren't we?
Shaun Brennan
24   Posted 15/03/2011 at 12:26:06

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You will get into trouble for filling it in early.

Be careful; fellow blues have been known to grass on eachother. But I guess you'll be ok if you don't write 'French'.
Alan Rooney
25   Posted 15/03/2011 at 13:10:36

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Chris (22) ? "not least for calculating local authority funding".

Don't you mean local authority cuts?

And exactly how much are we tax paying for this information? £500 million? Wasting that amount of money in economic times like these is far more annoying. But hey, civil servants don't get that do they? They just get pensions and bonuses!
Brian Denton
26   Posted 15/03/2011 at 14:12:40

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Though not, presumably, at the same time.......
Erik Dols
27   Posted 15/03/2011 at 15:55:37

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Spilled my coffee, thanks Brian!
David Hallwood
28   Posted 15/03/2011 at 17:15:50

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How about "Former Devout Evertonian, curently questioning belief system"?
Tom Rowe
29   Posted 15/03/2011 at 19:19:55

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And Dickhead of the day award goes to... *Drum Roll*....
Peter Dry
30   Posted 16/03/2011 at 00:15:45

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I don't know whether it's a religion but I do know that I've experienced the numinous inside Goodison Park, something I have never felt inside any church.
Duncan McDine
31   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:34:26

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I wonder if our Lord Bill Kenwright will be taken in such dramatic circumstances...

... always look on the bright side of life!
Ernie Baywood
32   Posted 16/03/2011 at 10:37:16

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Is Arteta likely to return at Easter? Hmmmm...
Alan Rycroft
33   Posted 16/03/2011 at 14:16:08

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Kiddin, right?

With BK as god the father and DM as the son of god no wonder the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket!

This season, except for a few great performances, we have been abysmal!

Andy Callan
34   Posted 18/03/2011 at 07:33:48

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Jedi - it's the only answer to that question.

The Ethnic Group always makes me smile - tick 'other' and put somethin' like "We're all humans, so what fuckin' difference does it make what God (if any) I believe in, you interfering, nosy, good-for-nothing twat ? stop claiming expenses for TVs and duck houses and DO YOUR FUCKIN JOB'....

Amen.

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