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A Doddy-esque Musing

Comments (61)

It seems Doddy Bashing has become a favourite sport on this website, so, as is my nature, I will look at things from what I believe is his point of view. Suggesting that he is a serf, idiot, or actually Bill Kenwright(!) is bad taste and infantile.

Perhaps Doddy is a football fan who supports his club and enjoys supporting his club because he knows that he cannot choose who runs the club even if a sale is forced. He does not waste emotional energy on this subject as he believes that it won't help anyone. Perhaps he is right?

Perhaps he is a football fan who puts up with the manager because he manages the club to the best of his ability in a footballl world that has become a plaything for billionaires, and, contrary to ToffeeWeb readers' views, is very hard to make any money from. Perhaps he is right?

Have any of the Doddy Bashers considered the plethora of possible future scenarios for EFC?

Here's one scenario of many that could occur if many fans get their wish:

A rich Russian Mafia-type buys Everton. He employs Sven Goran Erikkson because Sven is just so professional (?!). Sven buys all his pals from his past clubs/national teams. He gets us to the FA Cup Final. Drogba, going on 37, scores, but it's not enough and Liverpool beat us 2-1. We finish 5th in the league and qualify for the Uefa cup. Sven gets the sack.

Everton employ Jurgen Klinsmann. He manages to win the league after 3 seasons with a team built on German international players. We have NO local lads in the squad. We win lots of matches, but we never seem to get that feeling we had when our team of hard-working lads beat City away. We never get the buzz of making Chelsea look average knowing that our players had to work that much harder. We never see players like Coleman or Rodwell given a chance.

Winning trophies becomes a demand, not a bonus! We moan about every draw like we are a superior race that deserves absolute football dominance! We change our kit to red to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies! We are, err, we are "The New Redshite"!!!

Be careful what you wish for.

Tony Wilson, Liverpool     Posted 15/03/2011 at 23:53:09

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Michael Kenrick
Editorial Team
1   Posted 16/03/2011 at 03:52:22

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You started off with a nice thought there, Tony... but ended up writing a pile of utter shite by the end. Why am I even publishing this?
Chris Bannantyne
2   Posted 16/03/2011 at 04:51:53

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The little takeover scenario was a bit weird, but I suppose possible (???!!?) maybe.

Anyway, I doubt we will become Chelski MK II anytime soon, but if we do, what does everyone think? Does it beat relegation and collapse?

Personally I'd say yes. Myth Busted!
Christine Foster
3   Posted 16/03/2011 at 06:19:24

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Tony, the opposite of "be careful what you wish for" is "be thankful for what you have got".

If you're happy being where we are, in debt, selling players to survive in mid-table mediocrity, with an occasional relegation battle to brighten up our day, then chose the latter choice.

God help us. Whilst we must be realistic it doesn't mean we should be thankful of the crumbs off the table either. It needs people with vision for the club and a plan to get there, if we are to succeed we have to be bold and change. Someone somewhere has the answer. It's not being thankful that makes a winner.
Michael Tracey
4   Posted 16/03/2011 at 07:28:28

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Or is Tony Wilson actually Richard Dodd?
Stephen Kenny
5   Posted 16/03/2011 at 07:20:36

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Almost Tony,

Except Dodd has wasted emotional energy constantly defending the chairman at every turn and insisting he has "the best interests of EFC" at heart, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

To many it appears Richard supports Bill rather than EFC.

Not all rich Russians are mafia types. This is racial stereotyping and while it doesn't bother me at all, it would have many up in arms if you suggested all yanks are brash and arrogant.

Sven has won a hell of a lot more than Moyes has ever won???

Sven has built good young sides on a number of ocassions.

'We have NO local lads in the squad. We win lots of matches, but we never seem to get that feeling we had when our team of hard-working lads beat City away. We never get the buzz of making Chelsea look average knowing that our players had to work that much harder'.

You may like the feeling of seeing City or Chelsea batter us for 80 odd mins but I'd quite like to see us play them off the park through quality football rather than hard work. Each to their own.

Winning trophies has always been a demand at Everton all through our history. A proud one if I know it properly.

I think Michael summed this up perfectly but I just couldn't help myself.

Be careful what you accept!!!
Erik Dols
6   Posted 16/03/2011 at 08:32:56

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I didn't see that coming...
Mark Stone
7   Posted 16/03/2011 at 08:39:58

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"We moan about every draw like we are a superior race that deserves absolute football dominance."

This happens already!
Marc Williams
8   Posted 16/03/2011 at 08:50:07

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Tony Wilson... Are you a Serf, idiot or actually Bill Kenwright?
Gareth Humphreys
9   Posted 16/03/2011 at 08:55:00

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Where do I sign?
Eric Myles
10   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:00:52

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I don't think Richard Dodd would write so much drivel. (Ken Dodd maybe...)
Paul Rice
11   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:04:26

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Personally I agree.... who gives a shite if you win things buy throwing some tycoons money at it?

I'd rather be in a relagation battle.
Peter Laing
12   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:07:18

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After getting on for 16 years of not winning a trophy ? and finishing above the dark-side maybe on one occasion, if my memory serves me right ? I would enjoy every minute of the fantasy land of your final paragraph.
Dick Fearon
13   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:07:15

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Tony, the personal abuse you recieved is par for the course on TW. I have had my share of it, usually from smart-arses who cannot offer a sensible response to anything.

My advice is to stick up for your guns and they will fade into obscurity.

Liam Reilly
14   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:02:13

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Is there any point to this post? Doddy, Russian Gangsters and a parallel universe.

Surely the purpose of a site like TWeb is to have debate and banter between the individuals subscribed?

I'm sure Richard can fight his own battles and is quite aware that that most of the jibes are in jest. I'm also convinced that some of his comments are designed to stir emotion in the troops and thus themselves warrant speculation.
Sam Morrison
15   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:15:51

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Paul Rice, is that sarcasm or not? Can't work it out.
Duncan McDine
16   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:17:15

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Why did you publish it Michael?

I must admit though, I agree with your comments MK!!!
Andrew Laird
17   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:20:11

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Good for you Tony, balls on line.

Have you thought about a part time job or hobbies to fill your time?
Tommy Coleman
18   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:50:01

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Tony Wilson is Richard Dodd's evil twin brother.
Chris Matheson
19   Posted 16/03/2011 at 09:56:09

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What depressed me about this article - and it was an interesting read - is that is is talking about another TW contributor rather than Everton. It's the same with the lad who is the polar opposite of Doddy and is always hyper-negative in an agressive way. I won't mention his name so as to not make another issue about him.

They become the story rather than Everton or football in general. Surely we are not so introspective?

Doddy is amusing, no more than that. Read his posts, laugh, then move on to the more important stuff.
Adam Carey
20   Posted 16/03/2011 at 10:06:16

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Is it just me that thinks the Fulham game can't come quickly enough?

Also, we clearly love Everton that much that we trawl through Toffeeweb each day reading this kind of post because nothing else is going on? Help!

Tony Wilson
21   Posted 16/03/2011 at 10:38:30

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I'm surprised at myself for expecting anything other than a vicious response to this post.

Kenrick: I started out trying to see things from the point of view of fans that support the club through thick and thin. It lead me to postulate a situation within which we are similar to clubs that are denigrated by many Everton fans for being run by playboys. Do you see the connection now Michael? Do you or your church of loyal followers have the imagination to consider different futures? Are you seriously telling me that if the club is sold you know that the owners will do right by the fans?

I hope the club is sold to the perfect owner as a matter of fact. I agree that Kenwright has provided too many false dawns. Bet that melts many of your dichotomised brains!
Trevor Mackie
22   Posted 16/03/2011 at 12:08:33

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Got to the Russian mafia bit then glazed over.
Gavin Ramejkis
23   Posted 16/03/2011 at 12:19:22

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I think the point missed about Doddy, who does stand up for himself, is his consistency on what could be described as fanaticism not faith that many take up with. He's not hurting anyone and his posts always get a bite in response. To imply his angst is some sort of bashing is melodramatic.
David Duffy
24   Posted 16/03/2011 at 13:40:35

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There have been loads of spanking comments recently... The board, Chairman, Manager, Coach, Players and even ourselves, the fans!

I am just wondering, aren't we all killing each other? We are bleeding internally, and our dear neighbour has recovered dramatically and since move forward. Where are we? Stabbing each other.

Can't we have one single direction and MARCH forward?

If you were to slowly analyse the situation, players off form, crappy manager strategies/formation bla bla bla... guys, look at it from bottom up, its' the board and the chairman! When you are not getting support from the chairman, do you think Moyes still has the spirit to fight on? And players will be affected too... SNOWBALL EFFECT!

Billy might have his reasons, unfortunately, getting rid of the others does not solve the problem, they are all soldiers fighting for the General... and dear Billy, is the their General.

Moyes is beginning to show his unhappiness. Why not stand by him? Pressure Billy Liar out of his office.

Billy Liar, you have done good for the club. We thank you for the time and effort. Time for you to go... really.

Michael Kenrick
Editorial Team
25   Posted 16/03/2011 at 14:00:29

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Tony, as I said, you started off well, made a good point about fans who have a very high level of belief in and devotion to the club, see all its officers as high priests beyond reproach, etc.

I thought there was a lot of value in pointing out that fans can't choose who runs their club, even if a sale is forced. That is a great point few have made on these pages.

You started veering off-track in the third paragraph ? Moyes makes a very handsome pack of mullah out of this game...

And beyond that point, for me, it all became rather silly. I'm not a fantasist and so I can't even take in that kind of garbage: it has zero meaning. And whatever message you are trying to convey with bollocks about Sven, Drogba, Klinsmann... well it was all summed up in the ridiculous bit about turning red... and this sanctimonious "Be careful what you wish for" ? that stupid tagline should have been a warning!

But at least it's made you reveal yourself a little more in the comment. I don't have a church of loyal followers, and anyone writing to this site who thinks I do needs to take another look. This is not Twitter or Facebook. Nowhere have I told you that new owners of the club will do right by the fans: more of your personal fantasies?

As for the needless garbage about melting dichotomised brains.. WTF?

Do us all a favour: stop wasting everybody's time.
Brian Waring
26   Posted 16/03/2011 at 14:26:17

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Tony, Richard is entitled to his opinion, and that should be respected.
The problem is that he see's everything through blue tinted-specs.
Jay Harris
27   Posted 16/03/2011 at 14:39:13

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I honestly think Doddy would not support your thinking.

A lot of Doddy's posts are clearly tongue in cheek and just recently even he is questioning his support for Kenwright.

The alternative doesnt have to be Russian mafia.

Look at Spurs and Arsenal as two extremely well run clubs.

Ask yourself why Kenwright will not consider a rights issue which would generate some much needed funds for the club in the absence of a takeover or for his distaste of bringing the fans on board.

The man is a disaster for our club and IMO I would sooner have anybody as chairman.
Stephen Leary
28   Posted 16/03/2011 at 15:33:53

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Most pointless article ever on TW. How the fuck do you know new owners wouldn't do right by the club, the fans? Put it like this ? could it get much worse? We're in turmoil with no money selling all our good players, and the best academy products to. Also, we should be looking and demanding trophies season after season, we're fucking Everton, mate ? not Fulham.
David Holroyd
29   Posted 16/03/2011 at 16:07:57

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Everyone is entitled to his opinion and Richard Dodd is entitled to his... I just wish he kept it to himself.
Eugene Ruane
30   Posted 16/03/2011 at 16:05:40

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Stephen Leary - agree 100%
Michael Kenrick
31   Posted 16/03/2011 at 16:25:37

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I'm not sure I completely agree, Eugene. How do you guarantee that new owners are going to do right by the fans?

As far as I can tell, the elite culture within the hallowed halls of Goodison Park has been cultivated over many many years. The adjacent Podcast thread is a classic example of this.

Ensuring continuity of this arrogance may well be a key part of Bill's plot in pre-selecting the right buyer ? I understand that both Lerner and the City Arabs approached Everton first. Why has not more been made of this???

Brian Waring
32   Posted 16/03/2011 at 16:44:23

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Tony, have you seen Doddy's response to the 'A rock and a hard place' thread written by Christine?

He says "More codswallop from this conspiracy freak".

Now wouldn't you say that is "Bad taste and infantile"?
Chris Matheson
33   Posted 16/03/2011 at 16:44:23

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Michael at 31 - I had hard the Lerner story, but not the City sheiks. Where did that one come from, and is it a reputable source?
Stephen Leary
34   Posted 16/03/2011 at 16:59:12

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Is that true Michael mate? That just proves bill is a lying bastard.
John Audsley
35   Posted 16/03/2011 at 17:03:28

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Dodd never responds to ANYONE who questions him.

I've done it twice lately, just asked him to explain his comments and you don't get a reply

I can only think he is on the payroll, insane, Bill Kenwright or just plain taking the piss.
Tony Wilson
36   Posted 16/03/2011 at 17:10:19

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Michael, I am sorry to have wasted your time and that of so many others. I am sorry for trying to think outside the box in suggesting a situation that involves Everton being sold to the type of owner/s who don't give a fuck for the fans, and I am sorry for pointing out that winning silverware possibly feels rather empty if you field a team of mercenaries. Fantasist? Not on your life. Do I have an IMAGINATION. Yes.

You simply cannot take the moral high gound here because you clearly state (#1) that I wrote "utter shite", which is simply not fair.

You may be the Grandmaster of ToffeeWeb but the truth is you and your cronies have no way of ensuring that Everton FC is sold to a strong commercial team if a sale is forced by fans like yourself. You have no way of knowing what kind of manager they will bring in. You have no way of genuinely influencing these events other than to make a change happen. As an average fan I can only hope that any change that does occur is change that makes supporting the club more enjoyable.

I was trying to point out here that the sale of the club has potential pitfalls in a humorous way, as I am no expert on these matters and so cannot write scientific level material on this subject. I have noticed that you have no problem with writing with great certainty in the face of pseudo-facts.

I won't waste your time again Sir because I can see free thinking and hypotheticals are not liked on this website. I'll leave you to your love-in.

All the best
John Daley
37   Posted 16/03/2011 at 17:58:47

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"You simply cannot take the moral high gound here because you clearly state (#1) that I wrote "utter shite", which is simply not fair."

....but it is true though.

Don't take things so personally Tony. A self-proclaimed free thinker such as yourself must surely aknowledge that others are entitled to take the view that you are talking total bollocks.
John Daley
38   Posted 16/03/2011 at 18:04:38

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By the way, Tony. The whole 'Jurgen Klinsmann leading Everton to the league title with a team full of German internationals' sounds pretty damn appealing to me. In fact I'd snatch your hand off right now.
James Flynn
39   Posted 16/03/2011 at 18:15:29

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Don't know about ManCity owners trying for EFC first, but thank God every day Lerner didn't buy the team. He'a well-known, proven horseshit owner over here in the NFL (where there is no question of funding). His Cleveland Browns are worth a fortune, pack a 70,000-plus stadium, and have a following as fanatical as EFC's. And they suck year-in and year-out (with one fluke, not bad season in there).

Want to see EFC a little closer in the money game as any. But not Lerner. Ever!
Alex Kociuba
40   Posted 16/03/2011 at 18:29:03

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"I can only think he is on the payroll, insane,Bill Kenwright or just plain taking the piss." ? lol!
Andy Crooks
41   Posted 16/03/2011 at 19:14:34

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Free thinking, Tony. Silly thinking, it seems to me. When you write shite on this site, believe me I have done it, people tend to call it shite. Get over it.
Dick Fearon
42   Posted 16/03/2011 at 19:24:48

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Tony, don't desert me now, not when at last I found a fellow traveller. Please take my earlier advice and stick up for your guns. Together, we may conquer the world. Stay, I implore you.
Phil Bellis
43   Posted 16/03/2011 at 19:58:10

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Dick, sounds like Tony's done an Alan Kirwin flounce, and taken his ball home, as well
Michael Kenrick
Editorial Team
44   Posted 16/03/2011 at 19:47:21

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As I posted above, Tony, I gave you credit for saying some things ? which you have pointedly ignored. And, as others have said, if you post something edgy, "out-of-the-box" or just fantastic rubbish (choose your poison) the readers are going to call it as they see it.

Pity, as you have written far better stuff on occasions in the past, which is why I didn't exercise the veto that might have been kinder to your now bruised ego.

But it comes with the territory: if you want to try melt our dichotomised brains (WTF?) but fail in the process, at least be prepared to stay and debate the point or admit to some misjudgement without all this presumptuous mudslinging.

Good luck trying to retrieve a point that was on dangerous ground when you made your initial trip to fantasy island (Imagination? A child could come up with those scenarios). But the moment you spouted that redshite crap, I think any point you had went straight down the toilet.

And now you're coming back with even more garbage: I'm only the Editor of ToffeeWeb, and we have very few cronies to speak of. What we do have are readers who can make up their own minds about what they read. It would do you well to acknowledge that rather than keep fighting it.
Ian McDowell
45   Posted 16/03/2011 at 21:16:56

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Sounds good to me because there is no point in working hard to beat Chelsea away and losing to Reading at home.
Mike Hayes
46   Posted 16/03/2011 at 21:35:27

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Doddy is Tony Marsh's alter ego.
David Hallwood
47   Posted 16/03/2011 at 21:36:06

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Doddy's 'my club, right or wrong, through thick and thin' approach should be admired rather than ridiculed; after all, everyone on this site subscribes to it, albeit on a different level. For instance, after watching almost 25 years of mainly puerile shite, why am I still a season ticket holder? Why haven?t we collectively abandoned Everton and all become Man U or Chelsea fans?

It?s because, like Doddy, we love the club, but unlike him we also love to moan and whinge a lot.
Karl Masters
48   Posted 16/03/2011 at 23:04:35

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Phil #43

What happened to Alan Kirwin and his Rose wine and tennis in West Sussex? I used to enjoy his posts even if I didn't always agree with them.
James McGrady
49   Posted 16/03/2011 at 23:37:16

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Whether you agree or disagree with Doddy's views, I'm astounded that this piece of drivel has been published. Seriously Michael, has ToffeeWeb now became a site where we can open up posts about members of the site? Very disappointing.
Adam Fenlon
50   Posted 17/03/2011 at 01:08:53

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Anyone else hanging out to see what Doddy himself thinks of the above?
Brendan O'Doherty
51   Posted 17/03/2011 at 03:38:43

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'We are "The New Redshite"'

For fuck's sake...
Gavin Ramejkis
52   Posted 17/03/2011 at 08:16:06

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David #47, a slight misnomer there, what Doddy supports is BK and his way of doing things, as he is a child of the Sky era and has had little prior knowledge invested or willingness to consume he believes that BK is the right thing and way for Everton FC. BK is merely a temporary custodian of the club and not the Everton way at all, he is the direct opposite of what Everton should and has been; remember back to the days of innovation and being sat at the top table.

It isn't the responsibility of fans or supporters that neither of these is adhered to any more, that falls fairly and squarely at the Chairman and his board. We are all Everton supporters, Doddy verges on the fanatic siding with BK and his version of what Everton is and for myself that is a flawed and dangerous thing and why apathy is rife. Divide and conquer, have your enemies fight amongst themselves to deflect the light from your failings and strengthen your position.
Phil Bellis
53   Posted 17/03/2011 at 09:25:21

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I too enjoyed Alan's ramblings (apart from his blinkered Kirkby advocacy), always picturing him in a paisley smoking jacket quaffing champers à la Noel Coward as he wrote. I think he submitted an essay which was roundly critiqued so he packed his trunk, turned on his heels and left town. Type his name in the TWeb search box and have a shufty

And I totally agree with Gavin re Mr Dodd ? Bill's suppository. He is the type of post-Sky, money-driven, "realistic" fan who derides our motto and has actually said he doesn't give a toss about "the old days" and "old players". He's never known what it's like to watch successful, top quality Everton teams so thinks Bill is a success by not (yet) leading us to relegation.

Thanfully, there are many younger supporters who DO get it, want more for our club, and see the current Board as less than perfect.

Andy Crooks
54   Posted 17/03/2011 at 19:20:17

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Unless I'm hallucinating, Alan Kirwin sneaked a quiet article on here a few weeks ago.
Michael Kenrick
55   Posted 17/03/2011 at 19:55:10

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He did indeed, Andy: MotM by SMS.

He's probably raking it in by now...
Nick O'Donoghue
56   Posted 17/03/2011 at 20:56:59

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Tony, I enjoyed reading your article. Let's look at the redshite who got their wish with the previous American owners taking over. Look what happened.

Tony, you're bang on right when talking about players. My idols at Everton are Duncan Ferguson and Leighton Baines. I know i'd rather have them than Ashley Cole and Fernando Torres, who are both pound signs. I'm right in thinking Duncan Ferguson offered to pay some of the transfer fee as well as take a deduction in wages when he signed from Newcastle?

Tony isn't saying he doesn't want new owners, he is saying he wants owners who have the best long-term interest in the club. +++

Chad Schofield
57   Posted 17/03/2011 at 22:37:39

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Dick, it's "stick to your guns" rather than "stick up for your guns".

Tony... well there's probably no point in even commenting on your post if you've Llewellyn -Bowen'd it and flounced off - but even the youth players you point to aren't "local lads",,, just poorly thought out piece.
Eugene Ruane
58   Posted 18/03/2011 at 14:46:09

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Michael, you ask..

"How do you guarantee that new owners are going to do right by the fans?".

I can't - nobody can.

But why SHOULD I (or anyone) have to give that guarantee?

I've NEVER seen or heard of a guarantee on behalf of the present owners.

Anyway, as I say, I can't give a guarantee, all I can do is apply the logic of Socrates - 'careful reasoning' to come to a conclusion.

Here's how I reached mine (the one that makes me agree 100% with Stephen Leary)

Ok let's take TWO owners of Everton FC - a hypothetical new owner and the present owner.

The new owner MIGHT fuck up, OR he/she MIGHT succeed.

A new owner MIGHT lie to supporters OR MIGHT tell the truth.

The present owner however IS fucking up and has a RECORD of fucking up.

The present owner IS a proven liar, HAS lied to supporters and rarely tells us the truth.

So even though the new owner doesn't actually exist, careful reasoning says, regarding 'success' we're better off with him...or her.

Nothing to do with me - blame the Sophists.
David Israel
59   Posted 18/03/2011 at 16:33:53

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Like most people here I don't usually agree with what Doddy has to say but, frankly, I think we should all concentrate on Everton & related matters and not on the views of individual fans.
Eugene Ruane
60   Posted 19/03/2011 at 09:36:18

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David Israel - actually to be fair, it IS an 'Everton related matter'.

The fact that Doddy was brought in to make the 'point' is, for me, of no real consequence.

Well, other than it helped make a cack argument even... erm... cacker.
Karl Meighan
61   Posted 20/03/2011 at 12:50:27

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I would take them scenarios every time as it means we're a winning club and how you would rather see an average side beating one of the top four one in ten is beyond me.

The money that City and Chelsea have built their teams on seems to have taken their fans on a fantastic roller-coaster with silverware a plenty in Chelsea's case and City are certain imo to join them in playing Champions League football very soon, whereas we're still riding the waltzers and still falling fuckin off.

That shite about losing our identity and having no local players if (and a big 'if') a zillionaire took over, would not happen as fans don't change and, to be honest, embarrassing achievements like Hibbert's European appearence record being forgotten would not bother me one little bit.

Parading the Champions League trophy around Goodison or celebrating a rare victory against the top four? I know what I would choose and that's what the foreign investment has give Chelsea and City the realistic chance of achieving.

That is the other side of "be careful of what you wish for"... no there would be no guarantee, there never is in football ? just as there is no guarantee that, with the present setup, things will improve and running the club safely will keep us above the Boltons and Stokes of the world. We're all entitled to our opinions, Doddy included, but I would still take the gamble to turn dreams into reality.

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