Why Do I Do it?

If my missus was to read this post she would be convinced I'd written it (although a few years younger).

I honestly wish I could give them up but after 40 years it's not easy – I'm trying really hard – they are driving me mad and yes the older I get the more angry I become, some of us need counselling.

She sat me down on Saturday night and said "look I know you're upset but don't you think it's time you changed your team or watch rugby because they are making you".

She's right but like you Dave I've tried but I can't.

Help!

Why do I care? It doesn't impact me. It doesn't affect me. But it does. It scorches my soul. It turns me into the pessimist that actually felt relief when we drew Manchester City in the semi-finals because if we lose to them then I don't have to face the agony of losing to Liverpool in the final. We all know that's what Everton would do to us. Beat the champions-elect then fail to turn up against the worst Liverpool side in 60 years. Because when we hope, just for a minute, that's when Everton get us.

The only thing Everton will never let you down on, is letting you down.

As you rightly say your whole life is enveloped by your passion for your football team. No decisions are ever made without checking the fixture list first. Weddings are arranged when your team is playing away. In most cases you indoctrinate your children into this cult, knowing you are going to adversely affect their whole lives. You would think with the advances in the sciences that somebody would have come up with a cure to erase football from your life.

Yes there are rare occasions it gives you great joy, but most of the time you fret and worry over people you probably may never speak too. It's complete madness.

As for the hope, for me, the last 50-odd games under Martinez have crushed any hope I had of believing that this team will do anything special under him. Hope, therefore, has made way to resignation on our fate as a mid-table outfit flattering to deceive, just like our manager.

The self-imposed exile lasted about six weeks – true, I didn't renew my two lounge tickets but then, I was thousands of miles away – but, as the new season drew near, I found I was as hungry for Everton news as I had been in almost half a century. Before a ball had been kicked in 2015-16, I was again ranting about our manager's shortcomings and expressing my feelings on here so vehemently that inevitable action was taken to calm me down.

Back on Merseyside a little over a month ago, I sneaked into 'an obscured view' for the Villa game and was rewarded with four Everton goals AND a clean sheet. But, so poor was the seat, I have not chosen to repeat the exercise. I don't think we've won since so perhaps I chanced upon the highlight of the season. So now I am reduced to listening to the enduring optimism of Daz and Diamond on the on-site commentaries and watching snapshots of games on MotD.

In a few weeks time, I shall be back in Cyprus where modern technology makes available every game on the planet and, no doubt, the Sports Bar in Pafos will be seeing their takings very considerably enhanced. As Dave Lynch says above, "It's the hope that kills ya!"

After at least 53 years of supporting, I've moved on from sulking all weekend after a defeat. By about 7pm, I've recovered enough to carry on enjoying life. In my teens it took me all week to recover – or at least until the next match. However, odd matches can still crush me – like the Bournemouth match this season (and that was a draw!).

Why do we do it? It's in my blood. Accept it –you can't change anything.

I have no business supporting Everton but it just rules my life. Hoping, hoping, hoping...

Nil Desperandum should be our motto.

This current lot, week in week out promise so much – but delivers "0" – the league table never lies, we are just not good enough!!

I've watched the Blues for 64 years, but this heartless, tactical naive, no-mark Spanish twat is totally without backbone. To endlessly tolerate these characterless weekly displays & spout this abject rubbish, just shows you – with no team changes – he is laughing all the way to the bank.

Not mentioning our beloved chairman, tolerating this pathetic situation, & taking no positive action or comment. Goodison used to be fortress for all 1st Division or Premier League sides to dread, now it's a cemetery, silent, with ANY opposition, rubbing their hands for 3 points, all too easily won.

With no mark sides like Stoke, Palace or West Ham etc. weekly showing greater desire & ability surely something must be done by this so-called "Blue" chairman, taking some positive action. Way back the removal of John Carey for Harry Catterick was when they were a winning, successful team, not like these no-marks!!

Our Spanish ambassador is a tactical non entity, a loser with no pedigree – Wigan – he is just attempting / failing to punch above his weight. Surely inheriting this squad of players, is just beyond him, & his transfers are nothing to shout about.

This group of players are just not of the same ilk, only he has seen Kone, Alcaraz, Howard etc. perform consistently, now to most opposition sides, they are just "joke players" / no-marks-!!

Do our players get coached during the week, because Leicester, basically offered nothing a good continental team, would not continuously present. We are just not good enough, the players collectively heartless – not fit to wear the shirt. Our players offer minimal & the crowd expect the worst, Goodison, in my younger days was a cert home win. Our players enthralled one, without requiring an upbeat following – that they always had.

This tippy-tappy approach is not Everton – we have always been brought up on skill – but with pace; this is just so boring, predictable & heartless, hence the opposition lap it up – regardless of the fixture. What are the crowd getting – Stoke City, next Goodison fixture – the mind boggles!! Surely a victory, but who now, would back us to win or draw ?

Week in, week out, we turn up & just pray. I've been a season ticket holder of too many years, maybe the enemy is right, on the subject of wasted money.

But... Once a Blue, always a Blue!!

As the years go by it doesn't get any easier, spoils your moods and affects most of your life. I've lost jobs, borrowed money to see them, hitched hiked, jibbed on trains to see them, cursed them and swore that's it (a million times) but I still follow them and resigned to the fact that I'm stuck with them to the end.

Surely I'll get 10,000 years off my time in Purgatory for all my sufferings with "My Team", I just hope I don't have to spend any of that time with David Moyes.

Charoen Sirivadhanabhakdi.

I hope you are right but suspect you've got your wires crossed there. Perhaps an employee of Chang's Fish & Chips, personal wealth 㾶, 17 when he had the first of 5 kids (he's now 23) has just invested by buying a ticket for the next home game.

But I hope I'm wrong and you are right.

But for those who started watching the Toffees in the mid 90s or later, it must seem like an impossible dream to see the lads lift a trophy any time soon, but it might happen and we might knock seven shades of the brown stuff out of our neighbours at their place or indeed at Goodison or go on an extended winning streak in both league and cup or set some major record at some point in time, it's this constant dream that keeps us all going, some say that certain substances are the drug of choice, but Everton are a drug in which we have no choice about, there is no cure, no anti-dote no cold-turkey once you have been bitten that's it for the rest of your life.

The most difficult part of being a blue is evident on this thread, somebody throwing a rumour into the mix, that someone will buy the club and quicken our return to the top-table, but as much as we all want that to be true, we all know deep down that the rumour will disappear into the ether, quickly forgotten until the next ray of hope arrives, and we carry on supporting the club regardless of how it operates, or how the players constantly fall short of our ambitions.

We are all without exception certifiably crazy but would we really have it any other way?

I'm at it again. Watching the Arsenal v City game and guess what?

I found myself thinking. We can take these, if we can just blah blah blah...

Do you think we could have played all these seasons, in the top flight without being pragmatic? It's in our blood, as much as anything, and is responsible for the way most of us are feeling right now.

Dave (#10), I've hated you for many things down the years, but taking me to Goodison to meet my first love, is something I will always be eternally grateful for!

Football's changed, Goodison's changed. I love good football as much as anyone, but when you take away the pragmatism, there really isn't much to get excited about anymore. Is this manager capable of change?

Everton-Dependency should be treatable on the NHS like drink or drug dependency. But it's a misnomer. You can't depend on them. That's the problem, having a dependency on something you can't depend on. It's a joke by God on people who have faith in something. You'd think he might know better, but suffering seems to be part of the deal. Maybe our reward comes in a later life as suggested above because it is a rare Evertonian commodity in this one.

I've watched Everton since February 1954 and that was in the old second division and a pretty crap team that got promoted back to Division 1 that season. Hickson scored the first Everton goal I saw that day, and my Dad picked me up and gave me a big kiss. That was it the start of my dependency.

One of the few benefits of being an old Evertonian is having seen the once a generation great teams. The latest one is now overdue by a number of years sadly and it's difficult to see the next one.

And yet.... Still you go to feed the craving. I came away from Goodison on Saturday feeling more despondent than I have in recent times. I'm still gloomy now. I've regressed to being 18 again in my disappointment, because I've learned that sometimes you get beaten by a better team, or that sometimes it's just not your day, or a great player turns a game against you with a moment of class.

None of that happened on Saturday. We gifted them not one but three goals. Leicester are not a good team but they are clearly a TEAM first and foremost and they work like dogs for each other. They defend together and they attack together. No prima donnas looking for a free kick every time anyone comes within a foot of them. No idiot who is a mistake waiting to happen in goal. No manager who believes that more of the same is an adequate response to serial underachievement .

You see? I'm off on one again. That's one of the symptoms. And there's no cure. I've just got tickets for the City game and just texted my son and we're both delighted.

He's got it too. It's a guilt I have to carry.

Cheech & Chong could definitely be joint owners and would make sure we'd always play on grass, no astro turf for those guys. Bit worried though with a run of bad results they might get the manager stoned. Weed be sponsored by Munchies. Probably.

Everton versus Altrincham in the cup: you were four, you were in wonderland, never took your eyes off the ball throughout the whole game, nearly got knocked out of the cup by a non-league team.

You were a jinx then and have been nearly every year since!!!

Then, on Christmas Eve last year, my wife died suddenly, aged 40, and so I could no longer attend games. I returned my ticket and watched listlessly from afar as Everton stumbled haplessly through last season.

This season, I've signed up for Sky and watched a few Everton matches. I can feel the interest creeping back. With it, however, comes the firm conviction that Everton will blow it as they always do: League Cup defeat by Liverpool and implosion in the league will follow as surely as does night the day.

But do you know what? It really doesn't matter. Just enjoy the moment.

That's all.

Keep going with the head down, that's all you can do.

Dave, I agree I've been a jinx, and that's why I worry about my two boys, who have never saw us win a cup. I think it affects most of us.

As Darren says, it just what we do, but it's sometimes not enough for me. I pray we beat City, and then fuck Liverpool in the final at Wembley.

TAKE AWAY THE PAIN OF BEING AN EVERTONIAN, AND GIVE US THE JOY, THAT SUCH A VICTORY WOULD BRING!! It's the dream that keeps me going, it's got to be!!

MAYBE THIS AMERICAN PHILANTHROPIST CAN CHANGE THINGS!!!

Now there is a crazy dream. Big business looking to make money from the worldwide appeal of the EPL is what that is, certainly no philanthropy.

You can hope for many things but philanthropy ain't gonna be one of them. If they build us a new stadium they will want a return on it etc, etc.

On subject of original post, knowing a lot of West Ham and Spurs fans in particular, we're all in a similar position and we've all been cursed to be football fans. But, losing makes winning even better and that's the drug we're all on.

He could be both, after all, most people in life are full of contradictions.

Out of the frying pan, and into THE FIRE, I feel we must take our chance on someone, if only to try to find that lovely winning drug again!!

You have to have an excuse to let of steam now and again, and Everton are guaranteed to supply this, other wise you would end up under psychiatric care. Problem is it takes around 20-40 years to realize it. "Oh well" whens the next game, so I remember to take my medication.

Looking back we've never capitalised on any of our successful teams for various reasons (it's Christmas so I'll refrain from naming names..............for once) but Peter Murray at "9" hits the nail on the head for this present regime, and the complacency/incompetance is doing my head in like no other time I can remember.

If teams whose "spend" has been way less than even ours, but who are visibly fitter, more organised, and determined can get towards the top of the league and stay there this season, why can't we?

The answer is because we're saddled with a Real Muppet/Rambling Moron/Ridiculous Manager.................oh bugger Christmas!

Martinez!!!