Reader Comments (23)

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John Kavanagh
1 Posted 17/07/2020 at 10:05:50
I've put in a bid to do a research paper on why nearly all our signings are totally fucking useless and the related increase in clinical depression in the local community.
Charles Barrow
2 Posted 17/07/2020 at 14:04:13
Very funny, John.

MRes isn't sufficient – you'd need the length of a PhD to cover all the shit players we've bought.

Steve Hogan
3 Posted 17/07/2020 at 14:34:57
Okay, let's start a thread here... a research paper on the 'Disappearance of Gylfi Sigurdsson from the Everton Midfield', is 30,000 words enough?
Charles Brewer
4 Posted 03/08/2020 at 09:15:20
I would much prefer a sponsored PhD in data science and analytics to study the range of actual football related issues (training, nutrition, passing – and not just “get the stats up” 3 metre backwards passes, positioning, impact of weather, other teams performance, players and management) than some dodgy politically correct “power relations” drivel which is all that emerges from academic history departments these days.
Dave Abrahams
5 Posted 03/08/2020 at 10:19:08
Anyone seriously going in for these scholarships must already have two BAs, so that rules me out, never mind my age, otherwise I would have a place at the front of a long queue to do ”The pros and cons of Kenwright's career as an Everton director and chairman”.

Writing the pros part would have been a doddle, although I would have needed some assistance doing that> I think a few on here might have provided me with some help.

The cons would have taken much longer to write but the assistance from on here would have been gigantic.

Alas, not to be.

Paul Tran
6 Posted 03/08/2020 at 11:04:50
Might have a go at this. My thesis would be "What happened before EitC existed and how good would it be if a winning football team was attached to it?"
Tony McNulty
7 Posted 03/08/2020 at 11:11:21
Agree Charles (4).

This sounds more like hagiography than research to me, a little like those company-sponsored books lauding firms that used to appear years ago.

PhD research, with its literature reviews to set out the paradigm, hypothesis generation and testing, presentation of evidence to support any conclusions reached, followed by oral defence before a team of informed academic and other experts, might produce something more useful.

However, that does not sound like the purpose here.

Joe McMahon
8 Posted 03/08/2020 at 11:20:19
I can imagine Bill sat in the morning room/study with pictures of Dixie, Kendall, Ball and Unsworth (larger frame) on his lavish leather embossed desk. Wearing a cravat with writting quill in hand. Tears of joy in his eyes.
Steve Hogan
9 Posted 03/08/2020 at 11:41:53
Very good, Paul (6), we seem to have become the charity with the football club attached. Anyone for the zip-wire from the Top Balcony?
Brent Stephens
10 Posted 03/08/2020 at 12:43:09
Dave Abrahams, research degrees are occasionally awarded on the basis of works already published. I think you'd get a Litt.D (Doctor of Letters) for your previously published posts on ToffeeWeb.

Viva Dave Abrahams!

Dave Abrahams
11 Posted 03/08/2020 at 12:50:53
Brent (10), brilliant that – wait til our Tony sees that, he'll go green with envy!!!
Ray Said
12 Posted 03/08/2020 at 13:08:07
I hope they research some of the following:

1. Why there was no paper in the fax machine – Kings Dock?

2. How did the Kings Dock money escape the ringfence Bill had around it?

3. Where did the Arteta money go?

4. Where does the midfield disappear to every match?

Patrick McFarlane
13 Posted 03/08/2020 at 13:14:53
Good luck to those who are fortunate enough to make the final cut – hopefully, it's somebody who is struggling to pay their fees.
Brent Stephens
14 Posted 03/08/2020 at 13:45:33
Dave, has he passed his GCSEs yet? And what does he want to be when he “grows up”?
Rob Halligan
15 Posted 03/08/2020 at 13:45:37
٣,200 per course? Maybe Gylfi could sponsor 20 of us – after all, what's one week's wages to him?
Brent Stephens
16 Posted 03/08/2020 at 13:52:25
Rob, you wouldn't get on the course with your Cycling Proficiency Certificate.

Rob Halligan
17 Posted 03/08/2020 at 13:54:47
Maybe not, Brent, I doubt your 25-m swimming certificate would be much help either. 😁😁
Paul Tran
18 Posted 03/08/2020 at 13:59:09
Steve #6, if we start this season like we finished the last one, people might pay to jump off the Top Balcony without a zip wire!
Dave Abrahams
19 Posted 03/08/2020 at 14:02:36
Brent (14), he wasn't bad at school until he discovered football. Mind you, he found out about football when he was 3.

As to what he wanted to be when he grew up, now I know I can trust you, Brent, I'm rolling my eyes, so keep this to yourself: he always used to say “I hope I grow up to be just like you, dad.”

I've got tears rolling down my cheeks writing this, but mum's the word, Brent, not a whisper.

Don Alexander
20 Posted 03/08/2020 at 14:26:54
Nice to see the young lad achieved success, Dave!
Dave Abrahams
21 Posted 03/08/2020 at 14:36:23
Don (20) lol, as they say!!!
Brent Stephens
22 Posted 03/08/2020 at 14:54:24
Rob, that 25-metre certificate. They told me it was 25 yards so that's all I practiced for. They had to rescue me before the 25 metres was up.
Brent Stephens
23 Posted 03/08/2020 at 14:56:16
Dave, that's a cracker. I'm sharing a tear with you!

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