ToffeeWeb - Season 2010-11

The Mail Bag

What if they hadn't become footballers?

Growing up, many of us dreamed of playing for Everton. Scoring goals in FA Cup finals... etc. But what about those whose childhood dreams were fulfilled and did manage to become professional footballers. I would like to ask what if they hadn't become footballers?

Where would they be and what would they be doing? Given the recent TW articles about past players and the antics of a former player, I would like to open the debate to suggestions. There are no restrictions on the player or the suggestion, unless MK says there has to be a relevance to Everton. Brendan McGlouglan read in his mum's catholic newsletter that Wayne Rooney would have become a priest if not a footballer, and was disturbed by the idea.

Pat van den Hauwe would have made a good assassin.

Andy Gray could have made it as a football pundit.

Neville Southall looks like a miner, so could have been one.

Yakubu - bouncer in town.

Phil Neville looks like a teacher. Don't know why?

Further suggestions below. But beware ? the red tops are watching...

Tony I'Anson, Stirling Posted 10/09/2010 at 21:59:26

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Steven Pendleton
1 Posted 11/09/2010 at 03:04:44

Two potential movie stars of 'classic cartoons made to movies':
Tim Cahill as Dennis the Menace and Leon Osman as a smurf.

John Clarke
2 Posted 11/09/2010 at 06:11:04

Duncan Ferguson ? a social worker.
Alex Young Pope Alexander the 1st
Ralph W Dean ? Leading man in 'film noir'
Alan Ball ? a ventriloquist
Roy Vernon ? a tax officer.
Wayne Rooney Alans dummy
Gordon West ? a 'Ladies Hairdresser'
Marouane Fellaini ? a model for a popular jam company
Peter Reid ? Abattoir worker

Garry Martin
3 Posted 11/09/2010 at 07:40:22

Ray Wilson ... funeral director.
Gordon West.... security guard.
Mike Pejic.... pig farmer.
Ian Snodin... football pundit.
Trevor Stevens..... player agent.
etc.etc.etc.
Sorry, got bored with this one.

Robert Daniels
4 Posted 11/09/2010 at 08:00:30

Materazzi ............. mafia
Arteta ................... bullfighter
Van den Hauwe ......... serial killer
J Bailey ..................... boxer
Trever Steven ........ Ballet dancer
Cahill ....................... Kangaroo
Beardsey ........... Bellringer
Samways ............. Pawnbroker
Heath .... singer in Bucks Fizz.

P Beagrie .............. Evil Kineval

Alan McGuffog
5 Posted 11/09/2010 at 08:09:49

Sandy Young (?) who scored the winner in the 1906 Cup Final became a sheep russler in Oz. Or so I was told...

Robert Daniels
6 Posted 11/09/2010 at 08:19:00

Strewth mate!

As opposed to Mark Lawrenson, who used to worry them.

Tony I'Anson
7 Posted 11/09/2010 at 08:41:18

Arteta - a Spanish Torero or an Orchestra conductor.

Garry, if you got bored, wait until the TW funnymen put their 2 bob's worth in. Only a few hours until kick off.

Gary Neville - tour guide for Liverpool City Council.

Thor Sørensen
8 Posted 11/09/2010 at 08:42:44

I think Southall was a binman before becoming a footballer.

Thor Sørensen
9 Posted 11/09/2010 at 08:47:38

Gary Ablett, pipping Pierce Brosnan for role as James Bond.

http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-fc/liverpool-fc-news/2009/05/28/rafael-benitez-reassesses-set-up-with-gary-ablett-leading-out-four-staff-liverpool-fc-latest-92534-23730822/

Danny Burke
10 Posted 11/09/2010 at 09:32:59

Bill Kenwright could have starred in the Jim Carey film, Liar Liar. Or as Jack Bauer in a spin off series 24 7, the search for investment.

Mike Walker, manager of Liverpool?

Would it be too obvious to say Rafa as a Fat Spanish Waiter?

Torres, bra and suspenders model for M&S, or Carragher's blow up doll.

Peter Beardsley and Rooney, panto Ugly sisters.

Kevin Sheedy could have painted the sistine chapel, using a brush held in his left foot.

Danny Burke
11 Posted 11/09/2010 at 09:32:59

Tony I'Anson
12 Posted 11/09/2010 at 10:22:46

Some good funnies to distract us until kick off.

Who would be the Avatar from our current first team?

Nick Entwistle
13 Posted 11/09/2010 at 11:18:59

Ashley Cole to me would be a go-go dancer at establishments with particular clientel.... just a hunch.

Simon Birkett
14 Posted 11/09/2010 at 18:07:52

David Unsworth - Zoo Keeper (specialising in Rhino's)

Tony I'Anson
15 Posted 11/09/2010 at 19:49:59

After today, Big Neville should call some of his contacts in the Refuse Collection trade to offer the services of a centre half who embarrassed himself on the pitch today.

Ed Fitzgerald
16 Posted 11/09/2010 at 20:15:49

Tony, there are many teachers who look normal, unlike the Adams Family-like Mr Neville. He would however scare the kids! which would be an advantage. He would be too negative, however and often provide students with wrong directions.

Tony I'Anson
17 Posted 12/09/2010 at 00:26:01

Ed - teacher I suspect. Enjoy the weekends marking. Maybe offer a few tips to Bainey about today (only)

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