ToffeeWeb - Season 2010-11

The Mail Bag

Just Shut It !

There have been more calls to arms from Everton players this season than an octopus has legs. They come in various guises such as "the players have to look at themselves", "we're much better than our league position but we have to produce results" etc and ad nauseam.

Personally, I am sick to death of Neville, Jagielka and (occasionally) Baines, Howard and Arteta, trotting out these inane phrases (it's Jags turn this week by the look of it), as though we buy it anymore.

I've another phrase for them to consider taking on board: "Do your talking on the pitch" and in the meantime, shut up and get on with learning how to pass, cross, take free-kicks and shoot. Start earning the ridiculous amounts you get paid with performances of some merit instead of trying to talk your way to the next win.
Steve Guy, Harrogate Posted 29/11/2010 at 12:56:51

back Return to the Mail Bag

Comments

Note: the following content is not moderated or vetted by the site owners at the time of submission. Comments are the responsibility of the poster. Disclaimer

Shaun Brennan
1 Posted 29/11/2010 at 14:42:34

It's just all part and parcel of the club's PR, so you can go on the OS and give it a big thumbs up, because we believe that some of them actually give a toss.

However, I didn't mind Neville coming out and saying Coleman is a warrior. Now that made me grin.

Jimmy Hacking
2 Posted 29/11/2010 at 14:59:18

I agree 100%. I'm pre-emptively cringing at the inevitable full-page interview with Phil Neville in Saturdays Guardian where he informs us that "We are good enough to beat them" and we "won't be playing for the draw", right before he vanishes for 90 minutes and Drogba gets a hat-trick.

John Roberts
3 Posted 29/11/2010 at 14:59:20

Couldn't agree more! I'm fed up of getting the Echo and reading the players talking a good game or what they're going to do!!! JUST DO IT ON THE PITCH! ENOUGH SAID!

Lee Courtliff
4 Posted 29/11/2010 at 16:13:49

I do agree but we must remember that the players are asked a million questions a week by various media sources and they have to "make the right noises".

A part of me would love to hear, for example, Osman say, "I fuckin' hate playing right wing. I am shite at it but the stubborn cunt won't listen. To me, the fans, the coaching staff ? ANYONE!!! He's like the PE teacher at school that makes the WHOLE class stay behind until the fat kid has climbed to the top of the rope! Pissing me off no end!!"

However, I do not think this would help anything.

Kunal Desai
5 Posted 29/11/2010 at 16:22:16

Performance related Pay - they certainly would shut the fuck up and would never appear in the media if this was the case.

David Barks
6 Posted 29/11/2010 at 17:33:35

An octopus does not have any legs.

Mike Hughes
7 Posted 29/11/2010 at 17:56:08

I agree with your post regarding gobby pledges from players and have mentioned it on TW before.

It just gets on my nerves, much like a boxer mouthing off pre-fight then crapping himself in the ring when the big night arrives. At least the boxer can be excused by the hype required to sell tickets.

Any tosspot can talk. When you can't back that talk up you are officially a gobshite in my eyes.

P.S. Can I add to my grumpy old man gripe that one other thing I hate are stupid post-match interview questions like, "Were you pleased with the three points?" Fuckwits! (Not that EFC staff have heard that question for a while).

Brian Garside
8 Posted 29/11/2010 at 19:11:56

Steady on, Steve... Pass, cross, free-kicks and SHOOT!!! Don´t get too technically/ (tentically?) advanced for our boys.

How many of these octopus legs does Davey have left to stand on?

Leon Perrin
9 Posted 29/11/2010 at 19:06:34

Trouble is anything beyond glib or the party line has the old boy network in full cry, or they get the boot.
Roy Keane and Craig Bellamy to name but 2 and Danny Murphy stating the truth about managers sending players out to clog.

Eg. If Baines said Moyes is clueless and Neville suggests Round is only there because Moyes loves his "knock knock" jokes there'd be uproar.

John Ford
10 Posted 29/11/2010 at 20:05:28

Agree with, Leon. It's a bit like modern political debate. Nothing is said because everything is routinely taken out of context or sexed up for extra media impact. Consequently noone says anything other than flatlined banal nothings.

The other point is that theres always some quill clogger around with a microphone ready to stick it up someones nose. What are players supposed to say? It amazes me, TW included, that media are prepared to give these interviews headline billing.

Next headline: 'Neville confirmed as dull as shit .....the boy can't help it confirms manager'.

Stephen Kenny
11 Posted 29/11/2010 at 20:30:13

I knew exactly what you were talking about before I read the main article. Shut your shit faces and do your talking on the pitch. Phil Neville has issued more rallying cries than Julius fucking Caesar!!!

Rob Hollis
12 Posted 29/11/2010 at 20:26:24

'We are Shite' roars Neville

'I'm off' cries Pienaar

'What are we called again?' asks Heitinga

'It was first out of the hat' admits Moyes after team selection and positioning is questioned.

'We are a joke' laughs Kenwright after Beckham swoop

Declan Brown
13 Posted 29/11/2010 at 21:04:07

Couldn't have put it better myself Steve. Totally agree with all of that.

If it came to talking ourselves up / talking crap our players would be title contenders every year.

Reminds me of a quote from Roy Keane's book about when Utd got beat, their training sessions would be all out war, players wouldn't talk to each other, they would fly into tackles in their training games, Brian Kidd would have split the players up when fists started flying, such was their frustration at getting beat in their previous match.

Pity our lot couldn't be that fired up when they're beat. A winning mentality is easy to talk about, winners prove it week in and week out, if you get beat you should be chomping at the bit to sort it out and put it right in the next match.

Chelsea away should be interesting. Time to see just how much heart for the fight we've really got.

David Hallwood
14 Posted 29/11/2010 at 21:09:27

Unfortunately it?s part of the Faustian pact that comes with being a footballer id that you got to talk to the media and taking the 5th isn?t an option. So when the press speaks to Pip he?s got to come out with the usual sound bites-what is the option? ?So Phil how do you rate Everton?s chances of getting a European spot? ?Are you ?aving a larff!!? ?Saha?s been a bit unlucky of late? ?Unlucky!?? The only thing the lazy twat needs is a dog, at least the mutt would be getting some exercise?

I don?t think honesty is going to come out of the mouth of a footballer anytime soon

Dick Fearon
15 Posted 29/11/2010 at 21:05:13

A few headlines I would love to see but never will:

Neville blames fat bastard!
Saha, anaemic, blames blood sucking Leeches!
Heitinga buys a bike and atlas!
Wages linked to League position!
Osman demands transfer!
New law passed, Moyes and Kenwright to marry?

Michael Kenrick
Editorial Team
16 Posted 29/11/2010 at 22:28:32

Oi, John Ford (#10). Retraction please.

We very rarely carry stories or links to the kind of meaningless shit the players come out with that is being discussed here.

If, on the other hand, they have something to say that strikes a chord ? the latest example being Tim Cahill describing how he sees his role in the team ? then we will publish and link to that.

But we are very... VERY selective.

Ernie McAllister
17 Posted 30/11/2010 at 02:25:38

I hate our stupid post-match interview questions like, "Were you pleased with the three points?" Fuckwits! (Not that EFC staff have heard that question for a while).

lmao best comment all season!

Dick Fearon
18 Posted 30/11/2010 at 05:10:02

A few who also are desperately clinging to the branch might remember a so-called 'expose' by the 'People' tried to blacken Everton's good name with a pack of outrageous lies. To his everlasting shame, Albert Dunlop our ex-goalkeeper accepted that paper's dirt money to support its diabolical beat-up.

The then secretary of the Football League was a chap named Alan Hardacre. When asked about the Dunlop input, Alan responded with, 'I would not hang a dog on the words of a footballer, particularly an ex player." That was an example of how low a player's words were valued in the 50s.

Times change... but the same holds true. I used to get annoyed at the modern players' inane blurbs but then I realised that intellectually the average player is little more than a moron. A rich moron though, and that opens up a whole new scenario.

Paul Sullivan
19 Posted 30/11/2010 at 10:33:44

It's not the players' fault, it's the press - too many pages/websites/blogs/twatters/24 hr tickers to fill with meaningless garbage.

Richard Diver
20 Posted 30/11/2010 at 11:09:13

The trouble with making more rallying cries than an octopus has legs is that it leaves you open to the sucker punch.

I?ll get my coat.

Kevin Jones
21 Posted 30/11/2010 at 12:16:28

Sounds a bit fishy, but if Moyes had a few million squid to spend we'd be Perched on top of the Leagues instead of in the doldrums. He'll fathom it out scooner or later.

Tony J Williams
22 Posted 30/11/2010 at 13:23:42

It's that time of the week again, Neville comes out with the boring pre-penned responses to dickhead questions and a few on here bang on about how they are bored/fed up of hearing them... and around and around we go.

Add Your Comments

In order to post a comment to the MailBag, you need to be logged in as a registered user of the site.

Log in now

Or Sign up as a ToffeeWeb Member — it's free, takes just a few minutes and will allow you to post your comments on articles and MailBag submissions across the site.