Summer sucked; now back to the football

It all got a bit much. Seventeen full days of non-stop slack-jawed sports viewing and I was Olympicked-out. Towards the end, it felt like the last days of Christmas. Nothing but penny toffees and coconut left in the Quality Street tin but you weren’t going to stop till it was all over.

Like every Summer, I signed off from ToffeeWeb and distanced myself from all football news in the days following the Champion’s League final. I took, admittedly, a stroll southward to view Chelsea’s open-top parade. There was a certain grudging admiration for their exploits even if I stared as Ashley Cole just sat listening to his overlarge headphones, or I found myself in a bizarre stony-faced stare-off with John Obi Mikel.

As an aside, have you ever been online and bored of Facebook, typed in a new address, only to find yourself staring right back at… Facebook? How much internet viewing comes from habit I don’t know, but I suspect the majority is as beneficial and nourishing as biting your toenails.

So not long into my sabbatical, it was for this reason ToffeeWeb flashed up on screen. I realised my error but not in time to avoid ‘Fernandes back at Goodison’. I refused further viewing and had hopes for this transfer throughout the summer, but on my return it was a mere mail-bag discussion. Hopes extinguished.

I had also glimpsed an upturned Metro on the tube. “Cahill moves to Red Bulls”. That had to be Gary right? No. All the highs the Aussie dynamo provided since 2004 reversed into a sinking feeling reminiscent of the adios to Arteta, and the forlorn two-fingered salute in the direction of that Rooney person. Acceptance followed. Tiger Tim and his waning influence was gone, leaving behind a team that performed better without him.

My abiding memory of Tim was the last minute equaliser in the first of the three derbies, early 2009. I was watching in a Madrid bar and resigned to another Anfield loss over a Spanish gin and tonic. Think gin to the brim, moistened with a passing tonic bottle’s vapor. Glancing header. 1-1. Corner flag punch. Hangover.

Like a boomerang, he will be back, in some role, I’m sure.

Coming back to the football fold has delivered a calm satisfaction. Pienaar’s returned as expected (cough), Baines, Fellaini and Heitinga remain and long may they do so. No real loss on the Rodwell front. It just wasn’t working. Thanks for the cash and oh, good luck playing for Sunderland or Villa a couple years down the line.

Now this Naismith fella. Guilty by last-name association, I initially thought him a limited Scot, bought in as cover for Baines. But looking into his career we could well have another Moyes masterstroke, a talisman to spur on the team and crowd alike. Lovely job.

And, unlike past summers, the squad is more balanced and effective thanks to astute business in these last transfer windows. Any future additions are welcome of course, but there is talent within the players coming through: Barkley, Vellios, McAleny, Junior, Gueye, Duffy. Given our finances these players are way above the quality one may expect of mere young hopefuls.

And even Hibbert scored a goal! An AEK-supporting friend, a long proud participant of the lunacy of AEK’s support for the Europa match, was witness to this history and was left dumbfounded at what unfolded. I hope there’s a new banner: "Hibbert Scores, We Still Riot!"

So what of this season to be? I don’t know if Moyes can make tangible efforts to stop the poor starts that plague our final position, but Manchester Utd under floodlights... (well, the second half maybe) is a great way to start the campaign. Win and momentum is Go; lose and the following fixtures seem perfect for retribution. All easy games, right?

The Manchester clubs will walk away with it again. Though 3rd and 4th place is an all-out fight between six clubs: Everton, Arsenal, Chelsea, Newcastle, Spurs and Liverpool.

Liverpool could challenge, but will do well to move forward from last season’s face-palm belief that Dalglish was somehow the answer. What Brendan Rodgers demands in wages and transfer kitty reflect Liverpool’s post Champion’s League era that yielded nothing for title ambitions and served-up minimum returns where three others could view their monied period as successful. Think of all the financial reserves the Americans are depleting to prop up what is a… argh, OK I’ll admit, the Liverpool hate has returned and I’m sliding into some anti-red diatribe. I’d forgotten what it was like. I was free of this anger all summer. But fuck ‘em. I hope they implode.

I watched some Olympic football. It progressed with little sign of the ref chasing, child-like strops and the diving that plagues our national sport. The Premier League showed no change following Beijing’s Olympic showcase, so same again for 2012 unfortunately. Though a great step forward would be made were The FA to issue a press release asking players to reflect the spirit shown from the athletes at the London Olympiad.

And so it happens all over again. The football is season is upon us, and it’s interesting times as Moyes builds what looks to be a very tasty first XI. Are we to have another season where he is called everything under the sun? I don’t think so. Its going to be a good’un!

As for the Obi Mikel stare-off? I lost. Bastard.

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