Candy Crush timeout rambling

The Sunderland game sucked massive balls. It seems I mercifully only saw the highlights (for want of a better word) on MotD and it was even harder to watch than Alan Shearer trying to construct sentences. The Di Canio effect may be a few games of euphoria, then a year or so of mediocrity... then the sack — but at least it’s not mundane and dull.

I wrote couple of articles a few years ago about how a team play to a manager’s ethos — especially in the critical moments and, regardless of some moments of individual excellence or indeed individual errors, like Baines’s howler the other day, the way the team play overall is the Moyes way. It’s as we all know primarily defensive and a wee bit old school: effective-ish but not inspiring.

I wasn’t surprised really by the Sunderland game; we all knew Barkley wouldn’t play consecutive games, we knew Di Canio would have Sunderland champing at the bit and fired up. I figured we would get a draw and we didn’t.

The thing that pissed me off more was the Arsenal game. We played okay initially, some joined-up football with the ball being given away more by guys trying to play than by guys hoofing it up the park. I’d rather Barkley tried to beat a man or do something proactive and lose the ball than lose it by having no belief in his ability and doing a Neville backspin floaty pass to nobody. However, as the game wore on and it got into the last 20 minutes or so, we became Stoke. In the crunch moments, we played Moyes’s default style: hoof and hope — and that does my head in.

I didn’t support any football team really before this, I just supported Scotland and I guess followed Scottish players down south. When McFadden signed for Everton, I listened to his debut and Googled and found this website and have been following Everton since.

I’ve never been to Goodison Park, I don’t have my coaching badges, I’ve never played beyond Sunday League level, so I’m entirely unqualified to make a call on who should manage us. However, as someone who has come to care about the fortunes of Everton FC and who wants to see us play a brand of football befitting the club’s history and that entertains, I would prefer to see a manager whose ethos was ’pass and move’. So, when we are under the cosh or chasing a goal, that’s how we play.

One can’t help wonder how our forwards would get on being coached by Di Canio or indeed a young McFadden. I know it’s the done thing to slate McFadden who was a behind-the-striker type player but Moyes used him as a wide player in our confidence-draining "run around after long balls" tedium.

Anyways, Moyes isn’t very adaptive: he’s not a young manager, we play how we play, and we always will under him. Will he get us a cup success, into the Champions League or relegated? Probably not. Would another manager get us a cup success, into the Champions League or relegated? Probably not. However, maybe another manager will breathe some enthusiasm into things, give flair a chance, give youth a chance, penalise poor form, be bolder making changes during games, be driven to win more than to avoid defeat and provide more entertainment.

I’m not Tony Marsh evidently... but maybe I would be if I’d been going to Goodison for years and seen the 80s and spent thousands and thousands on Everton. Or maybe I’d be Richard Dodd... Um, nope: I’m just not capable of being that upbeat about anything.

I’m aware this lacks structure and I’m rambling a bit but in closing I’d say I was a little jealous of Sunderland the other day: young manager leaping around, clearly giving a shit about what happened on the park, and clearly not earning £4 million a year while he leaves the club hanging on the "Will he? Won’t he?" contract issue… It’s like we are all dating Moyes and he will tell us after his summer holidays if he still wants to bone us, but it depends if he manages to pull a DJ in Ibiza. We are getting shafted and some here seem to think that’s okay.

I got a pay rise the other week, in line with my achievements; Moyes is looking for one in excess of his. Lot of talk about how we aren’t a Champions League calibre team (and that’s spot-on), stadium, squad quality, wage bill, transfer spending — the list goes on. The only thing that’s of a Champions League team level is the salary we pay our manager — and that’s just bonkers.

[I’d like to apologise if I made anyone imagine themselves in a sex act with our manager earlier — that was not my intention... Though I’m sure it would be quite direct with a lot of pointing and shouting.]

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