How Bellamy almost joined Everton

I met David Moyes at the Celtic Manor hotel just outside Newport after my loan spell at Celtic from Newcastle had finished in the summer of 2005.

I really enjoyed talking to him.

I always liked the way Everton played under him. I love their work ethic and their attitude.

Moyes was very persuasive.

I felt a bid odd about the prospect of joining them because I had been a committed Liverpool fan since I was a kid, but he sold me on Everton.

I agreed terms and went up to meet Moyes again, this time at his house near Preston.

I took my suitcase with me, so I could move into a hotel that night after I had signed and start pre-season training the next day.

But when I got there, I could tell straight away that something had changed.

It was like talking to a different bloke. He seemed tense and hostile.

He presented me with a list of rules.

They were very detailed and exact.

They tried to imagine certain scenarios and dictate how I would react.

“If I ask you to move to the right in the 60th minute, I don’t want you shaking your head” or “If you have got something to say, do not speak to anyone else about it, come and see me.”

They went on and on.

I thought ‘Where are we going with this?’

It was a completely different individual to the guy I was speaking to a month ago.

It was as if he had spoken to someone who had changed his mind about me. It felt like he was looking for a way out.

It was bizarre.

If we hadn’t had that second meeting, I would have signed.

Now I couldn’t.

It was awkward.

Everton chairman Bill Kenwright was on the phone saying all the arrangements were in place for the medical once the formalities had been completed.

My representative didn’t go into details, he just told Mr Kenwright I'd had a change of heart.

A few weeks later, Moyes rang my representative and apologised.

I don’t hold a grudge about it. I’ve got a lot of time for him and he tried to sign me a couple of times subsequently.

My guess is that someone told him I’d be trouble and he panicked a bit.

That sounds more like an administrator's question rather than a team manager. Good luck MUFC fans I think you may be needing it.

That sums up the character of Moyes perfectly for me.
Headmaster approach personified.

As for Moyes being a strict headmaster. Personally, I would not have wanted him any other way and hope our new boss lays down tough rules from day one. No German player is ever overweight or out of condition. It wouldn't be tolerated. It's about time we followed their example.

There's a LOT of space on the back pages to be filled between now and August and very little ACTUAL news happening.

The next 2/3 months will be (as it usually is at this time of year) one big make-it-up-as-you-go-along fest and filler pieces like the Bellamy extracts.

They probably have the pieces already written and ready to go.

99.9% of everything we see on a back page for the next few weeks will be totally invented shite or 'fluff'

"TOFFEES LINKED (er..by us) WITH INCREDIBLE ROONEY RETURN"

"SUAREZ SAID (yep, by us again) TO BE HAVING TEETH REDUCED IN SIZE"

"UNITED INSIDER (ok, us)) SAYS MOYES BULGEY EYES SCARIER THAN HAIR-DRYER"

Etc etc etc.

BUT not our problem anymore; he's not our manager, so I for one would like to see Evertonians stop talking about him..

Exciting times ahead in Liverpool 4. Couldn't give a chuff about Moyes in Manureland.

"I for one would like to see Evertonians stop talking about him"

Erm...

In there ('Street Of Shame') is a piece about Sun reporters Rob Beasley and Neil Curtis.

Beasley informed readers in January this year that Guardiola "Will decide to become Manchester City manager this summer"

He added a 'top source' in Spanish football had told him 'It is 100% certain he will go to city. And when I say 100%, I don't mean 99%, I mean 100%"

Then on the 28th of April his colleague Curtis 'informed' us..

"Roberto Mancini will be Manchester City manager next season - even if they lose the FA Cup final"

As we now know, all (100%) bollocks but space filled so...job done.