Beni Baningime signs new contract

Beni Banginime is another very good prospect, a fine confident calm player with good control, fine passer of a ball and reads a game well. He'll be ready to go out on loan in the near future to hone his skills.

Just to restore the splinters in my arse, obviously Kenwright has already sold his left foot to an offshore bank that lost it's own postcode recently and Moshiri is renting him out to that American architect, but hey... find joy where you can.

It's a very very short life and I just cannot become forensic in my misery just yet... or be dragged down into the misery of others, no matter how well they justify it. Too short. Too short.

Dermot, he gave Officer Dibble a very hard time.

I genuinely hope he, like others in the Under-23s come through for us, there is nothing better than seeing such as Barkley, Davies et al making the step up. One of our own as they say.

Now, how do you spell Beni's name again?

If he ever does become affectionately known as Banginthemin, then it means he has surely succeeded and become a fan favourite.

Surely a staged photo if ever I saw one?

Great that Onyekuru is on the radar too; add Vlasic and Lookman (if we can keep him, which we will I'm sure) and the other youngsters and it's not all misery, even for doom-laden bastards like me. Of course, these lads will need to be managed expertly, which raises a few questions.

Benny Bangemin. No-one else can.