Premier League — Matchweek 5

I see Parker's gone.

Yes Luke, the axes are out earlier than usual this season. Gets them promoted then sacked after a really tough opening run of fixtures.

Is it too early for the Slippy deathwatch? C'mon Mikel, finish him off. How about say 9-0?

Slippy out! Arsenal 1-0 Villa

Another hat-trick for Haaland in the first half so far. Nine league goals already.

That missed registration over the weekend has probably put paid to Maupay's chances of catching him as top scorer.

Richarlison will not be a happy bunny, as he starts for the fifth consecutive game on the bench. Hope he's got a good pair of tweezers to pull all those splinters out of his arse.

We need Barcodes to take out RS players today! Diaz out will do it for me.

That first goal by Haaland tonight. Getting his shirt pulled off his back and still outmuscled the defender. Imagine what he'd be like coming off our bench in the 66th minute to replace Rondon.

Richarlison is not really our problem anymore. Onana will put Diaz in the stands. We are more than a match for them.

Brent, just out-powered the defender. Shirt took it well too.

if things had gone a different way and we'd had Haarland here, he'd already be gone.

Haaland looks unplayable.

I see we were subject to the usual rendition of that song follow by the self-appreciation round of applause.

Nauseating.

Coote the 4th official is a right melt, telling Bingo to please get back in your area,

1-0 barcodes yesssss

Brent (8) I'd play him ahead of Rondon.

City 5-0

Newcastle scored?!

Isaak!

Barcodes one up!!!!

That's a lovely Newcastle goal. Any goal against Liverpool is a lovely goal.

It's interesting, Dan.

He is actually in many ways a traditional type of centre-forward, just maximized with pace and power for today's game. He also looks, concentrates, thinks and moves... and makes it look simple.

Have Liverpool got injuries?

Ahh didums, welcome to our world, yeh whingeing twats.

And of course no action is taken by the ref for Klipperty's antics!!!!

Brent, Danny,

He's an absolute beast of a centre-foward, I couldn't believe how easy he makes it look. He's going to break some scoring records.

Soren “klippety antiques”. Probably an old one but that's funny.

I guess the top players do make it look simple Will.

I'm seeing 4-0 Brent.

Klopp looking agitated. He's doing that nervous Jack Nicholson smile.

He is gone mad, Brent, lol.

And that's without Saint-Maximin or Guimares in the Toons squad!

Tony, just sometimes there is a player of such ability that you don't care who they play for, you just love to watch them.

City 5-0 now.

Brereton Diaz scores again tonight.

That's another one we've missed, by the looks of it.

Interesting thing there was that if Gundogan does score and the keeper gets a touch, Haaland's anticipation and reading the game means he's there for the tap in. No ball watching from this lad.

Danny,

I love to see Klopp so agitated. F

ull of love when they're winning but…

And then I tell you what. Let's take him off.

And replace him with De Bruyne.

What's the football equivalent of food envy?

Brent #24, I couldn't agree more about Salomon. I still can't believe we managed to sign him.

So that was a perfect hat trick? Three shots taken, three goals scored.

City have taken off Cancelo, Stones, Foden, Rodri and Haaland. Jeez, what quality to replace!

This new five subs rule was definitely brought in for the so-called Big 6 clubs. No chance of any injuries for any of them now as they look forward to giving slippy and his crew a hammering this Saturday.

Ahh, thank goodness...

Villa equalize but Arsenal come right back and take the lead 2-1.

City 6-0. Absolute clinical finishing, this time by Alvarez.

Jeez. City 6. Sublime.

Dubious offside to rob the Toon there.

Rob

It's a joke. I was thinking last night, the likes of Palace and Brentford have started well but they have just about a good 11. So inevitably injuries and suspensions will catch up with them.

I'd forgotten about the 5 subs handicap they and us suffer from too. So much for the leagues not wanting rich clubs to stockpile players.

City looking like they did four years back, when it was so good that it looked fake, like a video game.

Stinkers just scored...

You just knew when the second Newcastle goal was disallowed them barstewards would equalise.

Turned over from the City game, watching West Ham - Tottenham game.

Hammers called their new signing to get ready to go on, came running back down the line and got ready, he sits down with a trainer and a tablet machine to go over instructions for a couple of mins gets up and then another trainer comes over with a clipboard with more instructions.

The only thing missing was a little note to give the captain with instructions of what he was going to do.

Bill, pathetic isn't it?

Another few years, it will be little training holograms – and it will still make no difference.

Rob, it's no wonder the richer clubs voted for it.

Next they will want a game called off unless the pitch is in perfect condition.

How the fuck has Fabinho not been booked at least once???

That's a strange one, Bournemouth drawing with Wolves.

Newcastle hanging on.

All these cramp stops will no doubt result in 18 minutes of additional time.

Or just play until they win.

Obvious answer to that, Simon.

Colour of shirt and star-struck officials.

Honestly, they behave like 1960s Beatles fans when they officiate them.

Is it just me or are they showing the offside lines either after the VAR decision or it looks tiny so you can't make out whether they are correct or not?

How many good goals are going to be chalked off by minuscule margins in a league where goals are what it's all about?

As long as they are consistent and don't change the rules, then I can just about put up with it... but I would rather it gave the forward the benefit of the doubt.

Is there anything better than watching Klopp whine?

Warms my heart.

Edit - fucking never mind. Yougoddabefuckinkiddinme

Not Premier League I know but I didn't know Sunderland had appointed Tony Mowbray. That may have been a good step up for Duncan?

They said at the time that the 5 sub rule was good for the game because of the pressure of so many games to be played in a season and the need to "protect" the good players from injury.

The inequities this has caused have, as it's objectors stated "widened the gap between the few and the rest." When you add in the farcical implementation of FFP, the game is entirely skewed to the very, very wealthy.

Finally, add in the elimination of virtually any contact as foul play and you complete the picture. It used to be that games were won by teams with skill and passion, fearless warriors and biting tackles.

It's not a beautiful game anymore and I feel sorry for supporters who will never experience the cut and thrust of a full-blooded derby once more... those days are gone.

The power is in the hands of the few and unless they toddle off to a Super League, the Premier League will remain shockingly unfair and biased.

Scored in the 98th minute of 90 plus 5'.

Do the maths.

Play until they win.

How much time was Marriner going to add? Like 25 minutes??

Went like 2 minutes over the 5 added. What the Fuck???

For fuck's sake!!!

Two minutes and thirty seconds over the allocated added on time and you know what happens.

Just play till they score then.

Not the first time.

The Devil and the witches have been at it again.

And now Jurgen, the "gentleman Christian" is all nice, smiles, and happy.

Why doesn't anyone ever point out that, when things don't go his way, he transforms into an absolute dick?

By the way, I think the Leeds manager is Klopp in disguise.

And in injury time, how can you add 50% extra? Cheating bastard refs.

Quite right, Christine, and the leader of this executive organization is Sky Sports.

It's so inevitable, isn't it.

Just like Everton hanging on to 1-goal leads and conceding. It's shit.

Klopp smiling now. What a horrible specimen. Vile. Two faced.

Where did he get 5 minutes from — let alone 8???

Staged fist-pumping. God, I despise them.

Let's do this lot Saturday, Everton.

5 minutes added time. Then over 2 minutes on top of that. Not just this game. If the initial added time were of the same proportion, you'd get 35 minutes added time.

And for fuck's sake, stop the fake cramp. Don't stop the game unless there's a head injury or very obviously serious injury.

Will Mabon,

Wiccan for sure. Dark powers. Dark energy. Evil spirits. Magjick.

There's no other explanation.

Jamie,

I've known 2 Wiccans in my time but they were nice. Certainly not followers of that lot.

Yes indeed JC, wouldn't it be absolutely wonderful to see him go into fucking serious meltdown this Saturday?

COYB.

Andy,

Marsch and Widemouth are complete pricks.

They do it too often for it to be luck.

If we had a tenth of their spirit we might not miserably look back to the 90s for our last bit of silverware. How any Evertonian worth his salt can say their performances don't exaggerate just how shite we are as neighbours mystifies me.

I hate them with a passion but I despise how we let them get away from us in the '70s.

Danny (51),

It's not the maths, mate, it's those fuckin' stupid Newcastle players going down with imitation cramps. The time was getting added on, the referee was telling the Liverpool players, when they were complaining, pointing to his watch.

Gana Gueye did it Anfield, could have been a genuine injury to be honest, when Pickford cocked it up in the last minute, and Liverpool scored.

Fuck the cramps, screw your nuts and kick the ball long and hard down the pitch and out of play for a throw-in, not nice but legit and better than acting the goat with fake injuries.

Fairminded Liverpool supporters and gobshite manager celebrate corruption. Sky and the Premier League bosses have a lot to answer for.

BBC 5 Live not even questioning the added-on time, for fuck's sake!!

Can't wait to hear Eddie Howe. Conte, Guardiola and Tuchel would have strangled the ref. In fact, the corner would not have been allowed in those circumstances.

Klopp saying Bournemouth were wrong to sack Scott Parker. No, Mr Klopp, what was wrong was 5 subs that you whinged into existence. How much advantage do you actually want?

I know, why not create a rule where the away team, when not in the Top 6 cannot have a goalkeeper, until the Top 6 side is 3-0 up!!!

Barry @68,

100% agree. I hate to say it but they have a winning mentality, we have Bill crying to Grand Old Team, Z-Cars and stories from decades ago.

Dave Abrahams @ 69 -

Exactly. Great post.

I'd donate a spleen to win this weekend.

Eddie Howe with measured comments; no complaining, not drawn into emotional remarks even though he must be fuming inside.

Take note, Mr Klopp.

Liverpool win like that, so many times, because they don't give up. Their attitude is not YNWA, but ‘no surrender', and has been since Shankly built what is an empire founded on fitness, stamina and attitude in the 1960s.

Yes, they are lucky, but that luck arises precisely because they never give up, and the fact that defeat is intolerable. Klopp's ugly antics simply reflect that tradition they have of winning at all costs. It's no more and no less than that.

Dave (69),

The only time play actually stopped in added on time was when Pope went down for near enough exactly 1 minute 30 seconds.

One minute thirty seconds over the initial (minimum) 5 minutes Salah had a shot blocked for the corner that Liverpool scored from.

The announced added on time is stated as a minimum, but that then gives the refs the scope to allow that extra 20-30 seconds to see if the ‘favoured' can score. Mariner didn't seem to even glance at his watch when Liverpool mounted their last attack.

I've seen games with substitutions occurring in added time when the ref hasn't gone 10 seconds beyond the minimum already announced.

Joe 71

It's heartbreaking.

Season on season, they get results like this. Even in their so-called fallow years, they came from behind to win trophies. Add in they mullah us without breaking sweat and it's no wonder I (and others) never watch them, especially derbies.

Thank god for Sheik Mansour and Man City in the Premier League. (Liverpool have their number in cup games, mind.)

Si -

When you feign injury, time-waste obnoxiously, and piss off the ref, you're not going to ever get anything but a few more added precious seconds or minutes.

Just get up, defend if you want the point on the road, and get on with it.

Newcastle have no one to blame but Newcastle. "Shithousery" should be punished. It was.

Defend your corner. Don't time-waste "in-your-face". Don't fake injury. Don't piss off the ref.

It's been going on for decades but now I honestly think the officials, Sky and the Premier League are terrified to upset them. Maybe it's the revenue they bring in globally?

Klopp is an intimidating character and is never told even to stay in his technical area. Be like playing 12 men Saturday but they can be got at.

That's the danger, Jamie. Agree.

And we tried it on in the last few games. Stop it, lads.

Post 75 - ahahahahahahahahaha. Get in the bin.

They're the poxiest fucking shower of despicable cry-arsing bastards in world sport. “No surrender”. Seen it all now.

Liverpool is more like a cult than an actual football club. In league with Satan since Shankly

I get it, Dave. I just wish there was consistency. But we say that across the piece when we talk about decisions.

As I understood the rules, the Ref is supposed to add on 30 seconds for every corner or throw-in. Maybe that's changed?

I'd much prefer that the clock just stops. Forget this mythical added time that is subjective to the Ref. And in this day and age of live television, stop the clock on the screen so we can see. Also when we are at the match. It can't be that difficult?

If the game stops, stop the clock. Then it ends on 90.

Excuse my emotion. The adrenalin is starting to build even though I'm on holiday!

Si (76),

Well, it seemed to me that there was more than one stoppage and I was cursing the Newcastle players when they did it. The 5 minutes added on time was because they were acting the goat to begin with.

We should do as in Rugby.

Once the 90 minutes are up, when the ball goes out... game over. Stop all the fiegning injury and cheating refs adding time on to suite their agenda.

Danny 82.

The 30 seconds applies to substitutions and goals. No extra should be added on for the ball being out of play unless it is excessive time-wasting.

For example, it generally takes at least 30 seconds to take a goal kick in normal time, so 30-40 seconds in added time would not incur any time being added on.

Jamie C # 78;

I couldn't agree more. And we'd be the first to criticize any opponent carrying on like that against us.

And if we scored a late winner, we'd say they got exactly what they deserved.

Nick @81:

Yes, they are dirty jammy bastards. But they don't give up. Their general attitude is unsporting and ugly. But they don't give up.

The game is full of corruption and bias that favours certain teams including them. But the thing that makes them different from the other favoured teams is, they don't give up.

I can't stand watching this corruption, it makes football pointless to watch. I generally watch only Everton, but Everton's chronic fragility has chronically pissed me off. If Everton had the attitude of never giving up, we'd be much better off as a club.

Thanks for clarifying, Kevin. I don't confess to knowing the ins and outs of the rules. In fact, they often confuse me!!

Just stop the clock. It then doesn't matter if someone is feigning, wasting time or having to take a leak at the goal post. Time stops and then starts when the game is back in flow.

Anyway, being in a Sports Bar with multiple screens, I thought the West Ham v Tottenham game was pretty entertaining. The Irons could have / should have snatched it at the end.

Regardless of Newcastle's feigning injuries, Fabinho should have had a yellow late on.

Mariner was giving Liverpool every chance he could to get the 3 points to make the race for the title as exciting (and acceptable to the worldwide audience) as possible.

You simply have to take your chances and win by a big margin or else!

Should be drummed into our players on Saturday: gear yourself up for 100 minutes – and no slacking!!!

Never fails does it. Barcodes have to start without their star player. Could only happen against Liverpool and then of course seconds away from a draw Barcodes give them all 3 points.

Okay, Liverpool have many star players thanks to their billions but surely they get more last-minute goals than they deserve and the benefit of too many officials' decisions.

It would be nice for us to have some of that come Saturday.

Stan,

I agree it's not luck. It's a virtuous circle, they have won lots in the past, and know that unequivocal support can. only help the team, never hinder it.

We learnt the hard way last season that nobody gains when the crowd shows its frustration with the team. They learnt this lesson the other way around – the more they support, the more they win. there is definitely a lesson for us.

They've been doing it now for so long that they just whip themselves up into the usual fervour and enjoy just staying there.

Andy @84.

Rugby doesn't stop for injuries, they just play on even though the medics are on. Unless it's a serious injury.

I know Paul 94 but that's stops refs or or the VAR adding what ever time on they want.

What did you think of our offside goal and the one for Newcastle? They can't prove from the ball being kicked to looking at whether he is onside or offside to make a judgement by a few centimetres. I think it's open to cheating by the officials.

Dave and Jamie - yes the refs should add on time to wipe out any time-wasting chicanery that goes on.

Question is (as usual) if it is done even-handedly and consistently?

If not, are certain clubs benefiting more than most? I was able to rewind to start of added-on time for tonight's game and the only stoppage was for Pope getting winded. The play went on around Joelinton when he went down holding his leg.

Given the faffing about that often happens every time a goalie takes a cross and goes to ground these days I expected the ref to add on about 1 minute not the whole 90 seconds.

In other sports, you see when the ref has stopped the watch and the overall timing is done independently. In professional football, the ref is the only one who really knows.

You can say they never give up all you like. However, two actual facts remain:

1. Liverpool have scored more injury time goals than any other club in the Premier League.
2. Liverpool have been awarded more penalties than any other team in the Premier League

Them and Kopite-run media like to make up this thing called “Fergie time” so it deflects from their unbelievable luck (or is it corruption?).

And given Man Utd have won 13 Premier League titles, the law of probability should favour them in both above cases. Yet it's the sole one-time covid sponsored jammy as fuck red shite cheating bastard winners that gladly take both accolades, without even a batted eyelid.

They won two cups last year without scoring a goal. They celebrate wildly… most other fans would be embarrassed. But it's normal for them. No other team comes close to winning so many cups on penalties.

And as for the extra extra time, when does that ever apply to us? We're like the anti-Liverpool. We get so many bad and bizarre decisions against us, it's laughable (Niasse retro ban being just one of the many, Keane at Brighton another).

It's not a level playing field, now so more than ever. And you know it's a cover-up because no-one in the media will touch it (same as tonight – not one mention of the glaringly obvious).

Interesting point, Paul @94.

I've frequently admired the way Rugby seems to have got their version of the VAR as right as you can be. Nothing is 100% right, but there's it well-tuned.

And dismayed at how football is royally cocking it up, when it should be assisting in getting the majority of decisions right. I suppose that comes down to the officials actually being competent, both on the pitch and in an office on a business park 2½ miles from my house. I frequently feel obliged to go down and picket outside the building.

On the carry on whilst injured players are treated on the pitch, I've often wondered if we could implement that. At face value, a great idea. But, and without wanting to open myself up to criticism from the Rugby fraternity (I'm no expert on the game), I guess it's easier with Rugby as the majority of players tend to be congregated in one area? It's a great concept in my opinion, but may be more difficult to implement in Football?

That's my point Si, stop the clock and make it visible therefore non-disputable and not subjective to one person's interpretation. Transparency I would call it. Or lack of. But maybe that's how the broadcasters like it. It fuels the controversy and we lap it up like the spaced-out zombies we are!!

Stand up for yourselves on Saturday, Everton. Don't let the spawn of the Devil and their star-struck followers (officials not supporters) do us over.

It's Wednesday. I'm on holiday and I think the heat is getting to me already.

Customers, not fans, Danny! ;-)

I was bored this evening so I went and checked the current Premier League relegation odds... We are 2/1 and 3rd favourites behind Bournemouth and Forest.

Looking at our next few fixtures I'm really worried about the outcome and I honestly can't see 3 worse teams than us. The transfers window is so far not giving me any additional hope… call me negative but the bookies don't often get things wrong, do they.

"Entertainment Business" according to Marsch, Nick.

I didn't realise that Goodison Park or Elland Road were on Broadway or in the West End.

Am I starting to get old?

It will always be football to me, Danny. Not some Yanked-up TV sport.

Well, you have to admit it was entertaining to see Marsch marching down the sidelines in a well-rehearsed walk, tapping his watch.

Stop it, John.

You'll give yourself a hernia.

Never listen to the bookies. They exist to make money, not lose it. And don't look at the Premier League Table until Christmas.

Come Saturday, you'll feel much better.

Lads, in fairness to Mariner, he's been instructed to let Liverpool win.

Danny (98),

Yes, it is generally easier to play on with rugby as the ball tends to only move forwards at running pace rather than the speed of a drilled football, most kicking will be to wide open spaces or touch, and the ball can spend lots of time in a relatively small space.

Anyone down injured wouldn't be considered to be active and part of offside decisions. The game can therefore often go on whilst someone is receiving treatment and will only be halted if the play comes perilously close to the injured player.

No reason I can see not to have those additional seconds and minutes on display as the ref is calling for them though.

John,

If Slippy stays at Villa they're certs for the drop!

Nick @97:

Yes, all of that about the bias and corruption is true. But I'm concerned about Everton, and I don't give a fuck about Liverpool. I was brought up near both grounds, know all there is to know about their cheating and bad attitude, and I learned quickly not to give a fuck about them.

Why? Because I'm interested in Everton, and I know that Everton needs to sort its long-term shit out and get rid if its defeatist attitude which includes too much focus on Liverpool.

Everton need to adopt the attitude of Never Give Up. That is all that is important. If you don't have that attitude, the mediocrity will continue. We need to focus on what's in Everton's control, and stop worrying about what's outside Everton's control.

I didn't watch their game last night but didn't the ref add on 5 then play 8? How does he justify the extra?

It's not actually that unusual to score in the last 10 minutes of a match.

More goals are scored in the 81-90+ minute segment of a Premier League game than at other stage in a match.

As for having the fight to come back from losing positions, while Liverpool had the best record for that last season, we finished in third place. And we were the flakiest I've ever seen us for the majority of the season. So even shit teams can make comebacks, nothing special going on at Anfield.

The difference is that the media never shuts up about the RS, because their old boys run the show.

Andrew # 106.

Nick Pope went down “Injured” going into added on time. He was down for no more than 90 seconds, so the game should have ended after 96.5 minutes. There was no further injuries that I remember, or time wasting, so I don't understand why Marriner played an extra one minute before the shite scored?

Oooops, I've just answered my own question…………”Played on before the Shite scored”.

Just to add to my post @105: All the shite to do with Liverpool, cheating, bias, unsporting attitude and all that, is irrelevant to us UNLESS we actually play them. The only thing relevant to us is Everton, and this is an Everton website.

All that shite to do with them, I use only when confronted by reds. And I've learned how to deal with them, how to shut them up. It's become a sport for me, which I've learned to enjoy.

The only aspect of them that I think at all positive is their never give up attitude. Everything else about them has nothing to do with us.

There's no point in focusing on things you cannot control. But there is every point in focusing on what you can control. And we can adopt and maintain an attitude of never giving up.

Thanks Rob, same old same old then.

Thank God it's Anthony Taylor refereeing on Saturday then eh.

Quite right Stan. Why are we concerned to what happening across the park plus it was Newcastle. The only time I will think of them will be Saturday and then I hope I have a big smile on my face. Anyway, it's been them focusing on us lately especially the new stadium. UTFT

Stan (109)
"The only thing relevant to us is Everton, and this is an Everton website."

This is the general Premier League page - specifically created to discuss the other (non-Everton) matches. It appears a lot of people think that discussing the other 19 clubs in the league is relevant, especially last night's game involving our next opponents, who have all the luck of the devil.

If you don't want to discuss them, then don't.

I see its being widely rumoured that the Premier League are going to adopt Uefa's new cap on player salaries and agents not adding up to more than 70% of the club's income.

Not sure how Everton would cope with that seeing the last time we posted figures our player wages alone was above 90% without agents fees.

Gary@116:

Chill out man, I am discussing them, within a specific context. If I didn't wish to, I wouldn't. This specific context is Everton's need to focus on never giving up, against a background of caving in on too many occasions.

If Everton had a more winning mentality and never-give-up attitude, these pages, including the more general ones on the Premier League, would not spend so much time on them.

Their shite is ugly, but if we actually won more and entertained more, then that ugliness becomes less important mentally to many supporters.

Well said Stan.

Rio and Robbie on BT Sport watching Foxes v Red Devils... who's the third pundit?

Owen Hargreaves maybe. I only caught a quick glance.

It's very easy to quieten a Kopite Stan.

I like the fact the editors have provided this link. It stopped me getting told off for talking about non-Everton issues on Everton threads.

Considering where they think they should be, I thought United looked pretty average today. Building job for them and they do have a good coach at the helm in my opinion. One who will build from the bottom up.

As for Leicester. I couldn't work out any sort of shape from them, particularly in the first half. Disjointed at best, bordering on all over the shop. For those who bemoan midfielders not picking out forwards, I watched Maddison. On many occasions, he looked up but had no options; no runners. A team still relying on the tactic they have used for a few years. Only Vardy is now 35 going on 36 and his explosiveness has gone.

I think Brenda could be on the ropes soon.

Should have gone for Cornet over McNeil. This league is ruthless unless you score goals. We have improved, but in January strikers are needed and early January. As can be been seen today, even Bournemouth have scored 3.