The Mail Bag
Derby Rituals
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Ok. It's getting to the time before a derby that my arse is starting to twitch.
I constantly think about the game and stupidly perform little rituals in the hope it might bring us some luck, ie, today I am stirring my tea in one direction (no this is not a wind-up). Anybody else do daft things before derbies or other big games for that matter?
By Friday, I will be praying for the gods to shine on us for once. Daft thing is, I don't even believe in god.
I just wish the game was over so i could just get on with my life, because from now until late Sunday afternoon it will dominate my every thought.
Dave Lynch, Posted 11/10/2010 at 10:44:04
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The lowly league positions of both, is a first, we have lost Jagielka, and by the time the game is played they may have lost more.
I just hope that we are really up for it.
As always the crowd will be tense, and lets hope the man in the middle is up to the job too,
Howard Fucking Webb
I wore the new vanilla third shirt at Birmingham and we won. Sounds simple, wear it again, but, does that mean the third shirt is now my lucky away game shirt, and if so will not work for a home game?.
Or, will the luck it brought for an away game transfer itself to a home game?
Now, if wearing it for away games means we win said away games, if I wear it to a home game, the luck gods will think I?m trying to pull a fast one on them and make us lose.
However, as I?ve only worn it once, and we won, are the luck gods telling me that, if I wear it, Everton win ? no matter where we play?
I?ve already decided the home shirt doesn?t work for home games as the only game we?ve won at home this season I wasn?t wearing it and, to make it worse, I can?t remember what I was wearing that night.
Now, I could decide to wear something new and play safe, but would the luck gods then think that they?ve given me a lucky shirt and as I?m not wearing it, it will show a lack of thankfulness to them and they will make us lose?
My head is all over the place. Get this wrong and we?re fucked.
Personally, I find coincidence tends to take me on derby days... say prior to a match if luck shines on me in other areas of my life we tend to win... i.e. Dan Gosling's derby was on a day where I found a pound coin in my chair... the Clatternburg incident came after spilling tea on the way to the sofa to watch the game.
After-match - see above....unless we win, then it's getting blind drunk and falling asleep in an alehouse somewhere between "And we love our Kev The Rat" and "Oh Andy is our King".
The only derby I've ever felt relaxed in was the Cars 1-0.
For some reason, I was convinced they wouldn't get past our defence that day.
When we scored I just felt we'd won.
Very unusual feeling for me as I'm usually sweating even if we're two up with 5 mins to go.
Morning of the Derby, you realise too late there's only one sheet of loo roll left; the missus has used all the space on the Sky box for This Morning, Loose Women etc and your 'Friday night Movies for Men special' hasn't recorded; the dog has pissed on the floor during the night and you uncannily find the exact spot with your barefeet at 5 in the morning, coz you can't sleep with Derby nerves; your lad spills red sauce down his Everton top eating burger and chips outside the ground.
These are an example of the bad signs... oh yeah, and Howard Webb... Ah bolloxs.
Who thought football finances could be so engaging. There has been no chat about football for fuckin ages. Can anyone explain the offside rule as I can't remember how it works?
On the morning of the game it really gets bad, the Mrs gets on my tits more than usual and I get on her tits more than usual due to relentless heavy breathing so to make sure I dont hypaventillate. Large breath in, hold for a few seconds and exhale thinking / saying to myself "fuck me".
Once Im dressed I shit myself until the final whistle.
I hate them, I really really fucking hate them, everything about them!
Your comment "did we rob them?" - I'm afraid that scenario will never happen!
In my 34 years of supporting the blues I have never seen us "rob them", never, not even close. We have always earned the win.
Don't get me wrong, I would fucking love us to play totally shite for the full 90 minutes, for LFC to hit the bar at least twice, for LFC to have at least 3 penalty claims ignored and then ... the mighty blues get an OG from the mighty Carragher in the 93 minute.
Nope you will never see any of the above, that's because the evil one looks after his own and we will, without doubt, have to earn the victory.
I think you're too close to the situation to really see the answer.
You need to wear that vanilla shirt. Not doing so would be like dropping a striker who'd scored on his debut - it'd just crush the shirts confidence. As Marc Bolan said - "Get it on".
Christ, I hate Sunday games!
And when I do watch it, do I drink from my Goodison Park mug? Every time I've used it this season, we've been shite. I didn't use it for the Birmingham game.
My first was the game at Anfield in 1971 where we were 2-0 up ? I think Whittle and Royle put us ahead only for them to come back and win 3-2. Next was the FA Cup semi where Bally put us up and then Labone gets injured and we lose 2-1. It has basically followed the same pattern since then.
I can just see those jammy bastards sneaking a win to ignite their season and get a new wealthy sugar daddy to boot.
Chris, all you've said, it's about now. I've done the shit with the bottles at 2 in the morning. I've had kids.
What us Evertonians are looking at is whether we can win on Sunday. Once that game gets under way, the politics have nothing to do with anything. It's all about winning on the day.
What Moyes does is irrelevant. It's what the guys on the pitch think and DO.
As far as I'm concerned the only thing is about Sunday is, How many of our 11 are going to be "Flying into it"?
I see this as Moyes's last chance. He has to forget negative and go for all guns blazing. Trying to think of something else to say, but that's it.
Forget politics ? A WIN IS NEEDED ON SUNDAY, END OF!!!!
COYB, FTRS
If we don't symbolically destroy that pact now, with all thats going on, we never will.
Certainly under this regime.
My main ritual is not to talk to any RS fans for the week leading up to the game.
I won't ever wear an Everton top anymore when we play....anyone, I can't remember a game we have won when I have had a Everton top/T-shirt on.
Oh and I like to be called Bessie prior to the game.
Sounds stupid, but I don't want to get drawn into an argument about who's going to win and then have them lording it up.
I have to say this year I understand they themselves are fearing the worst.
COYB
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1 Posted 11/10/2010 at 14:48:23
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